“You must think me very ungrateful.”
“Not at all. You forget I know you very well. I’ve watched you grow into a beautiful young woman.” He heard her breath catch.
“Beautiful?”
He chuckled. “I remember telling you many years ago that one day I’d have to protect you from the males of the species. I just didn’t think it would be me.”
A gorgeous flush raced up her décolleté, but a frown clouded her lovely features.
“Hmmm, that leads me onto a question.” He watched her fidget. This couldn’t be good.
“Go on. You know you can always ask me anything. Nothing will change our friendship. I won’t let it,” he added sternly.
“That’s part of the problem. Friendship. I am rather curious about how our relationship will be after we marry.”
“I suspect it will be much the same as it is now.”
Her pinkish flush turned into a full on blush. “Umm, I’m not sure you fully understand my concern. We will be husband and wife…Will you expect us to behave as such?”
Richard let a wolfish smile envelop his lips. “Are you referring to the fact that you will have to share my bed? I’m sure I’ll cope, Mads. I have had a bit of experience in this area.”
She raised an eyebrow. “A bit?”
He had to laugh at her affronted response. That’s what he loved about his relationship with Maddy. They had always been able to talk about anything. His laughter died away. He hoped their marriage would not change that. “I know you. You’re not one to hide your thoughts from me. What is it you’re really concerned about?”
Her eyes became pleading. “I want children. I want a lot of children.”
Richard shrugged. “I still do not grasp the problem.”
“You won’t expect the marriage to be in name only then.”
“Bloody hell. Where on earth did you get that idea? I suspect we will live as most husbands and wives do.”
She sat up straighter and looked him in the eye. “I don’t want to be bedded out of obligation or duty-”
“You think I’d bed you because you’re an obligation? A beautiful woman like you? Come now, Maddy. You know me better than that.” She remained silent. Where in God’s name would she have got this absurd notion? “You’re very desirable. Bedding you will be no obligation. It will be my pleasure. Our mutual pleasure.”
“Mother and Rheda have already told me I’ll have nothing to worry about on my wedding night. That I should leave everything to you and that no doubt I’ll enjoy your attentions.” She wrung her hands. “But you mentioned that our marriage will be like most other marriages. What if I don’t please you?”
“Please me? As in the bedroom?”
She nodded seriously.
“I taught you how to shoot and ride astride. You’re better than most men I know. You’re a fast learner. How can you not please me when you’ll have the best teacher?” he hoped his teasing tone would allay her fears.
“I know your heart belongs to another. What if… what if you grow tired of bedding me?” She raised a hand at his sound of outrage. “Promise me one thing.”
“Mads, you are being silly.”
“I know your reputation, Richard. You have enjoyed a lot of women. I don’t see how I’ll hold a man of your—appetites—interested when I don’t own your heart. Promise me that when you no longer enjoy my bed that you’ll tell me. I couldn’t bear to hear from anyone else that you’ve taken a mistress. The one thing I’ve treasured most in our friendship is the fact you’ve never lied to me, or hidden the truth from me—even if the subject was unpleasant. Rufus would most likely want to skin you alive if he knew some of the things I’ve asked, and you’ve answered, with no hesitation. Being stuck in the country, growing up alone, I can’t tell you what your honesty meant to me. It gave me the world even if I couldn’t see it, or be a part of it.”
“I’ll show you the world if you’ll let me.”
She drew in a quick breath. “Swear to me that we will always be honest with each other, no matter how difficult our lives become.”
Richard was about to vehemently deny that he would ever take a lover but he couldn’t. He thought about the women he’d had relationships with and how those intense feelings had never lasted. He wanted to promise that he’d never take a mistress or another lover, but he’d never once lied to Maddy and he refused to start their marriage on lies. He didn’t know if he’d be strong enough to honor his word.
She continued. “The one thing I alone among the female population have shared with you is your enduring friendship—as well as respect and trust. Don’t let our marriage put that in jeopardy. I can live with many things, but not losing my best friend. That, more than anything, would cut me to my core.”
Their marriage would change everything. She was right. How had he thought it wouldn’t? She was wrong about one thing though. He did love her. He just wasn’t in love with her. He hoped one day he would love Maddy like Anthony loved Melissa. Maddy deserved that. He silently vowed he would try to give her his heart and he hoped the organ that beat in his chest would stay true.
“Will you promise me?” she asked softly. “In this marriage, I have the most to lose for I could lose you. I don’t have many friends.”
He rose and moved to her chair and pulled her up into his arms. “I won’t let that happen, Maddy. I swear I will never lie to you. And Maddy, please remember, I will never knowingly hurt you. I will try to be an honorable husband and father. That’s the best I can promise.”
She sighed and hugged him back tightly. “Thank you.”
They stood holding each other. He rested his chin on her head. “You do realize our relationship is bound to change. We are going to become more intimate with each other and not just in the physical sense. We will be sharing a life together—children, family…I’m hoping we will grow closer, because I too value your friendship.
He wanted a marriage that was bearable. He’d always hoped he’d marry for love, because he never wanted a cold business-like arrangement so often found within the ton. Marrying Maddy was close enough. She would be a wonderful wife and mother. He’d never have to be concerned that she’d do anything to dishonor him.
“We’ll make this work, Maddy. We both have too much to lose if we don’t.” She looked up and smiled at him shyly. He wanted to kiss her, but he was unsure of Maddy’s response. Instead, like a coward, he said, “Shall we join the others?” He untangled himself and reached for her hand. “I’m surprised your brother hasn’t barged in already.”
She laughed and it warmed him. “I’m sure Rheda is holding him back.”
The smiles that greeted them as they re-entered the drawing room, still hand in hand, were less strained when everyone saw how relaxed the couple was. Unbeknown to Madeline, she glowed and Anthony inwardly sighed in relief; his brother was looking content.
This could work. They could make a happy life together. Anthony prayed that that was so. More than anything, he wanted his brother to be happy and Madeline too. She was a sweet girl and deserved more than life had previously given her.
But his sense of relief was almost banished by a niggle of concern. He hoped Richard understood Madeline was in love with him. Perhaps he should tell him. No. Richard surely knew. Everyone in this room understood that Maddy had been in love with his brother for at least the past twelve months.
Richard couldn’t be that blind.
Or could he?
#
The rain of the last few days cleared on her wedding day. It was a brilliant, cloudless day and Maddy hoped the weather was an omen of future happiness. Perhaps their marriage would be all she had hoped for. Perhaps Richard would learn to love her—at least a little.
She’d seen hardly anything of him since their talk in the study.
“You look beautiful.” Rufus’s soft words gave her a warm glow.
“You’re biased.”
He walked to her side and kissed her cheek. “No. I’
m not. You really do look a vision.”
“I’m so sorry I disappointed you.”
“You’ve never disappointed me, darling. I’m proud of you for trying to help your friend even though I’d like to kick his arse to kingdom come,” he said with a small laugh. “I just hope I’m doing the right thing by forcing you to marry him.”
She cupped his chin. “You’re not forcing me. Richard and I have made our decision, the best decision considering the circumstances. Be happy for us.”
He took her face in both his hands. “But will you be happy? God, I wish this hadn’t happened.”
“I’ll be content, Rufus. Richard will be a good husband to me. He’s promised.”
Her brother stood looking at her for a few moments. “He’ll have me to answer to if he isn’t.” He dropped his hands from her face and cleared his throat. Color crept up his neck. “Has mother talked with you?”
“Talked with me?” She knew what Rufus was trying to ask and she loved him for it, but couldn’t resist a bit of teasing.
“That is, Richard and you, he will be your husband and he’ll expect…”
“What will he expect?”
Too late, he caught the gleam of mischief in her eyes.
He hugged her close. “You scamp.”
“Yes, mother, and your wife too, have imparted advice on the marriage bed.”
Rufus face flushed with color. “Good.”
“I’m sure Richard will look after me in his bed very well. If he’s as good as you are, I shall be as content as Rheda.”
The flush deepened. Under his breath he whispered, “I’m beginning to feel slightly sorry for Richard.” Maddy playfully punched him.
He offered her his arm. “Ready?”
She gave a wan smile and took a deep breath. Her stomach lurched. “As I’ll ever be…”
She walked proudly beside her brother across the manicured lawn towards their tiny chapel. A small crowd of staff and villagers had gathered around the steps of the chapel, murmuring faint congratulations. She nodded her thanks as she passed.
Just inside the door, she paused. Maddy looked down. She hoped she looked beautiful enough for a man as gorgeous as Richard. She’d chosen her gown carefully. The pale blue velvet had an overskirt of very fine, transparent chiffon, intermittently decorated with tiny pearls that glowed ethereally in the soft candlelight. As she looked up and saw Richard standing so tall and majestically at the altar, she wished the bodice wasn’t so tight. She could barely breathe.
Rufus squeezed her hand. “It’s time.”
She walked proudly towards her fate. Even though she’d been forced into this, she intended to marry with her head held high.
A sea of the people she loved rose to their feet, their heads turning until all eyes were upon her. Her vision blurred as she saw her mother’s proud face. She would not cry. Focus. She looked toward the altar…
Richard.
Standing next to his brother, Anthony, Richard wore a dark blue frock coat and grey trousers, and a light gold waistcoat intricately embroidered with silver thread. Tall and solid, he anchored her petrified gaze. His fair hair curled seductively around his chiseled features and gleamed in the light of the dozen candles at the altar. Her heart lurched in her chest. He looked breathtaking and for once his eyes were riveted on her. Something lurking beneath his polite veneer rose to the surface when he looked at her. She’d never seen him gaze at her with such a heated stare—it could only be called a predatory look.
Then it struck her like a lightning bolt. Their friendship was dead. This wedding had changed everything. What a naive fool she’d been. As if they could stay as they had always been—platonic friends. She would give this man her body. And bear his children. Suddenly, she was scared out of her wits. She was heading into new territory, that of being his lover. And she had no experience of that. She would never be able to hold such a masculine, highly sexed man’s interest when no other woman had. Not the little country bumpkin who found society daunting and unforgiving. She knew that as soon as they went to town, all eyes would be upon them—on her—waiting for her to fail.
Her steps began to falter. As a friend Richard could disappoint her, but as her husband he could destroy her.
Her hammering heart signaled her fear. Madeline couldn’t tear her gaze away from his. In a bewildered daze, she watched, as if from a distance, Rufus give her hand to Richard. His fingers closed around hers and a jolt of intense warmth ran up her arm. She was being married to a vibrant, sexually alluring man. Up until a month ago, she had lived quietly in the country. She had had no experience of life outside of this estate, except for what Richard’s letters had brought to her.
Richard smiled reassuringly, leaning into her as they turned to the vicar. “You look beautiful.”
She looked beautiful but he was so dazzling she thought she might be dead and that this was heaven. He was an angel.
The rest of the service passed in a haze. The happiness of the day diminished as reality set in. She was shivering; it was cold in the chapel, the only warmth coming from his hand, which was wrapped possessively around hers. The glint of the gold ring he placed on her finger only intensified her fear. She felt branded, a possession now in his keeping.
“I now pronounce you man and wife…”
He gently turned her to face him and cupped her face in his hands. With the brush of his lips against hers, and his soft sigh on her mouth, she understood her life was now his.
She prayed she’d be enough for him. Because God help her, she’d die inside if Richard ever strayed. Now she fully understood why wives pretended they had no idea their husbands had taken mistresses. It was better not to know-or pretend not to know.
When he raised his head, Madeline tried to smile confidently. Richard appeared to be genuinely happy. There was not a flicker of regret in his eyes. Perhaps there was no point starting a marriage worrying about the future, not when the here and now was so terribly frightening.
He took her hand in his, put it in the crook of his arm and covered it possessively with his own, and led her down the aisle as music swirled around them.
The deed had been done.
She was now Richard’s wife. And as the saying went—was it for better or for worse?
Chapter Four
The Honorable Miss Strathmore
I received a letter from your mother, requesting that I get her approval for all gifts I send you in the future. I did laugh at the image your words conjured up in my mind about the Vicar’s wife’s scone hitting your Mother’s face.
I managed to have dinner with Rufus a few nights ago and he looks well. He sends his love. I didn’t mention Westin’s antics to him; your mother’s wrath was enough.
On another note, I’m going abroad and may not be able to write each month as promised for some time. I’m off to India on one of our ships. I shall bring you back plenty of presents to make up for my late or less regular letters.
Be good, Princess.
Your friend,
Mr. Richard Craven
It was as if Maddy were moving among a group of strangers, a guest, as it were, at her own wedding breakfast. Yet, these were the people she knew better than anyone else—they were her family. Everything was surreal.
The gold band on her finger felt foreign, and as she would still be addressed as Lady Madeline, since her brother was an earl, it was difficult to think of herself as Richard’s wife. Worse still, Richard seemed—well, different, his mere presence, for once, was overpowering.
He never left her side. He took every opportunity to touch her, and his touch felt like a form of branding, as if she were his possession—making her gulp back a small cry. In truth, she was his possession.
His fingers freely sought her hand, her elbow, and the small of her back. He’d never touched her so freely before. Certainly, it had never been with such a sensual undercurrent.
As he guided her toward the table, his hand riding her waist, her pulse quickened.
Why was he being so demonstrative? Was it all a show for their guests or was he, if not happy, at least content with her?
He accepted congratulations proudly, as if he had really wanted to marry her. Ever the gentleman, he seemed protective of her even when this situation was not what he would have wished for himself.
She felt a brush of his lips at her temple and her breath faltered.
“It will soon be time to leave, sweetheart. Do you need to gather your things?”
Rufus had given them the cottage at the far end of the estate as a hideaway for a few days of privacy away from the astonished and gossiping ton. It had been Rheda’s suggestion. It would be somewhere familiar for her, but also a place where they could both move into this new relationship with no interruptions.
He spoke softly with a hint of impatience. “I think it will be easier on Rufus if we slip away quietly. He’s struggling with the fact that you are now in my care.” He pulled her into an embrace. “My responsibility.”
Her stomach fluttered wildly.
She couldn’t form a coherent word. She simply nodded and slipped out of his arms and through the door. With her mind racing about what was to come—her wedding night—she made her way quietly to her room. Her room-but it was no longer her room. She didn’t belong here at Hascombe anymore, yet this was the only home she’d known all her life.
More than anything, she wanted to make this marriage work, for Richard’s sake as well as her own. Her room now seemed bereft of any sign of the lonely girl who’d grown up here, the girl who had spoken her secrets into the walls for safekeeping.
She had a husband to share her secrets with now. That might be difficult given most of her secrets revolved around him.
Just then the door opened and Melissa, her new sister-in-law, slipped into the room. “How are you holding up?”
“On the outside, perfectly well. On the inside, I’m terrified.”
Melissa closed the door behind her. “I can remember my wedding day. I too was petrified.” She gave a wicked smile. “And excited, I’d wager.”
Invitation to Passion Page 5
