Tonight she would have to sit in the same room as her husband’s ex-lover.
#
For most of Lord Wrentham’s memorial service, she found herself watching Sarah. The widow sat in dignified grief, a tragic actress worthy of her stage. From all appearances, she gave a convincing impression that she was a grief-stricken and devoted wife who was missing her husband.
Richard spent the formal service looking everywhere but at Sarah. The stupid man didn’t realize that the gossips in attendance had noticed him avoiding Sarah, and his wish to halt any curiosity worked about as well as a teapot without a spout. Malicious sniggers and titters began rippling through the crowd.
After the service, they waited with everyone else to offer their condolences. With Richard by her side, they greeted Sarah. Madeline could have been invisible. Sarah only had eyes for Richard, holding his hand longer than was necessary, making them once again the center of attention.
Madeline’s stomach rioted, as churning emotions clawed in her gut as she struggled to think of something appropriate to say to break the silence during the carriage drive home.
It was Richard who spoke first. “That went better than I hoped. I believe we quelled any rumors.”
Maddy’s mouth dropped open. Was the man blind as well as stupid? “Oh, yes. Your staunch I won’t look at Sarah wasn’t noted at all.”
He gave a puzzled frown at her sarcastic reply. “I didn’t wish to draw attention.”
“Give me strength,” she muttered under her breath while throwing her hands up in the air. “They all noticed you not looking, silly. You fed the gossip. You should have greeted her naturally because society knows she’s staying with your brother.”
“Really? Damn. Might be the perfect time to head to Newmarket and start finding some answers then. It will allow the talk to die down. If I leave London now, I can hardly be having an affair….”
Madeline fumed. You’ll be leaving me too, your new bride. Once again, people will talk. Worse still, she’d have to go and have dinner with Sarah. She’d have to sit and make pleasant conversation with her husband’s past lover.
“Fabulous. More talk. Husband leaves just as his wife and paramour sit down for a ‘civilized’ dinner.”
“You’re chewing your bottom lip. I know it will be awkward for you.”
“Awkward? How would you feel having to sit and chat with my past lover?”
She saw Richard’s jaw tic. Good. He needed to think about that scenario for a moment.
“You don’t have any past lovers and there will be no other man but me.”
She really tried not to smile at his obvious jealousy. “Now you know how I feel. If she even mentions you, I’ll want to scratch her eyes out.”
The only small thanks were Richard would now not be at the dinner too. She couldn’t bear to sit and listen to their polite conversation, constantly wondering what he was thinking and wishing.
“I’m a man. You’re bound to have to converse with some of my previous lovers at some stage. You know I was no saint.”
“ But not converse with a woman who is still in love with you.”
“Sarah’s not in love with me, she’s just scared. She thinks she needs me, that’s all.”
Maddy looked away in disgust. Richard was either in denial, or gullible if he believed that. The way Sarah watched him, smiled at him worshipped him with her eyes…was… utterly obvious.
Now was the time for her to be brave. Turning to face her husband who sat across from her looking out the carriage window, in fact, looking anywhere but at her, she asked, “And what of you? Are you still in love with her? That would seem to be the more important question.”
Richard turned to look at her. He ran his hands through his hair and Madeline almost prayed she’d go deaf. “No. I’m not in love with her.” Yet Richard’s eyes were full of panic. What did he not want her to know?
“I believe you.” The panicked gaze eased at her words. Ask him. Ask him now. Do you love me? But she couldn’t articulate this fundamental question. She was too much the coward—as usual.
Instead, they sat staring at each other; the only sounds were their breathing and the clatter of the carriage wheels over cobblestones.
Richard finally cleared his throat. “Be patient with me, Maddy. Soon Sarah’s brother will return from Italy, and we will have caught the culprit. Timothy Chesterton won’t escape. If he does, he will be a threat to Sarah’s child for the rest of its life. We have just one chance to prove his guilt.”
She didn’t care about her husband helping Sarah. She told herself to ignore the stabs of jealousy. She admired Richard’s desire to help others. That’s the kind of man he was, always helping unfortunates. Maddy would never have met him but for his desire to save her from the Chesterton siblings when she was only thirteen. She knew what it meant to have this man as a friend. She knew Sarah didn’t want to lose that.
The carriage pulled up in front of the house.
She said softly, “I don’t think it’s the situation with Sarah that you’re asking me to be patient with. When you know your heart, I’m sure you’ll tell me. Either way, I deserve to know the truth about the way you feel about me. That’s the only way we can remain friends.” She smiled as the footman opened the door of the carriage. She gave him her hand to help her step down. She looked over her shoulder at the man she loved with all her heart. “When you know if you want our relationship to be more than a friendship, I’ll be waiting.
Richard left immediately for Rufus’s house without anything more than a brief goodbye. The two men were riding down to Newmarket that night.
As Maddy dressed for the evening, she had several small glasses of champagne to fortify herself and steady her nerves. She would be the picture of confidence and maturity at dinner tonight, even if it killed her…
#
Rheda collected Madeline in the Strathmore carriage and they made their way to Anthony and Melissa’s residence. Lord Wrentham’s memorial service, held earlier that day, had been a somber affair, although Maddy couldn’t be hypocritical and mourn Charles’s death. She did, however, believe that no one deserved to be murdered.
Before leaving home this evening, Maddy had taken extra time getting ready. She knew it was misplaced vanity to spend so long on her grooming, given Richard and Rufus had left for Newmarket, but she needed armor to face Sarah. She struggled with the fact that Sarah had been intimate with her husband. But that was not what truly hurt. The fact Richard had preferred Sarah, falling into a relationship with her of his own free will, was the knife slicing continually through her heart. He would have married Sarah out of choice, not been forced into marriage due to scandal and disgrace as he had with her.
They had been best friends for years but not once prior to their wedding had Richard looked at her with anything but teasing friendship.
She nervously patted down her skirts as they entered Anthony’s home. Rheda reached and stilled Maddy’s hand and gave her a warm smile.
Arm and arm, the women were announced and together they entered the drawing room. Anthony and Stephen were deep in conversation near the brandy decanter, and to her surprise, Mr. Hindsworth was in attendance by their side. She wondered why he was there. It meant that she would not be able to ask Anthony or Stephen if they had been able to find any evidence against Timothy. As well, Mr. Hindsworth would regard her with pity all evening.
Meanwhile, Melissa and Sarah sat in strained silence on settees facing each other. It was obvious they were not fond of each other. It must be difficult to be put in the position of having to house your brother’s ex-lover, when you’re best friends with the wife. However, Melissa’s loyalty warmed her.
The men moved forward to greet them, while Melissa rose and walked over to embrace her and Rheda.
Melissa drew her down beside her on the settee. “I suggest we eat dinner soon, it’s been an exhausting day, especially for Sarah.” She smiled at Sarah. “I’m sure you’ll wish to have an ea
rly night.”
Sarah merely nodded while patting her stomach and looking like the cat that had swallowed a bucket of cream. She sat closely regarding Maddy, her gaze raking her from head to toe. The smug smile on her face told Maddy that she thought when it came to winning Richard, that she had no competition from Maddy.
Maddy turned from her but not before she caught a gleam of triumph in Sarah’s eyes. “Mr. Hindsworth, it’s a pleasure to have your company. I didn’t realize you knew Lord Wickham.”
Christopher’s mouth curved into a smile, emphasizing his beauty. “I have only had the pleasure of meeting Lord Wickham tonight. Your husband invited me. He came to thank me for my assistance the other night, and suggested you might desire a friendly face here this evening.”
Anthony searched Maddy’s face. “You can be sure I’ll not make Mr. Hindsworth’s assistance necessary again. I apologize for my lack of care.”
Maddy opened her mouth, but Sarah spoke first. “I’m sure she preferred Mr. Hindsworth’s assistance. He is, after all, a very handsome man. What woman would not wish to be saved by him?”
She watched Christopher blush.
“I would prefer not to need assistance in the first place, but I was very thankful for Mr. Hindsworth’s effective interruption.” Maddy’s crisp reply earned her a nod of thanks from Christopher.
Rheda and Melissa looked at each other in confusion, and Rheda asked, “Why did you need assistance?”
Before she could respond the butler arrived to announce that dinner had been served. Mr. Hindsworth offered her his arm to escort her to the table and Maddy was pleased to accept. At least one man seemed to prefer her to Sarah.
The conversation during dinner revolved around the war with France, how many men had been lost, and when it would end. Sarah, as selfish as ever, mentioned how annoying it was that the war lead to trouble purchasing fine silks and brandy. She clearly gave not one thought for all the men who had lost their lives.
The conversation was mundane because of Mr. Hindsworth’s presence, which prevented discussion on anything else. He didn’t seem to notice how stilted everyone was. She wondered why he didn’t find it strange that Sarah should be staying with Richard’s brother. Perhaps he’d heard about the fire.
When the women left the men to their brandy and cheroots, Maddy slipped away to the retiring room. She needed to gather herself. Trying to be dignified and remaining immune to Sarah’s presence over dinner was draining. She had no idea how she was supposed to behave. Her head throbbed from the pretense of civility.
They were barely friends prior to this mess; they would never be friends now. From her aggravating stares, it was clear Sarah was still in love with Richard. However, even Sarah must realize a life with Richard was now impossible. Richard was married and would never put her aside. Or would he? She inwardly shook herself. Of course he wouldn’t. He was first and foremost her friend. A friend would never knowingly destroy another. Besides, Rufus would kill him.
Sarah may have fooled Richard, but Maddy would wager everything she owned that Sarah was not going to walk away from this situation quietly.
She’d barely had time to sit down at the mirror to tidy her hair when the door opened and Sarah walked in. She stood looking down at Maddy for a few seconds before closing the door firmly behind her.
“If it were not for you, Richard and I could have married. Part of me wonders if you set up the scene in your brother’s library in order to ensure that that would never happen.”
Stunned, she searched Sarah’s face, trying to ascertain whether she was serious. “I could hardly have known Charles would die.” For one brief moment she had the crazy idea that Sarah had planned this all along.
Sarah moved to stand behind her. “True, and that’s the only reason I don’t hate you. It was very considerate of Charles to leave me a widow. The timing was unfortunate, however. I wish he’d done so before you married.” She ran her hand over her stomach. “He loves me you know. Always will. What I’d like to know is what you are going to do.”
Their eyes meet in the mirror. “Do? I’m married to him. I can’t do anything. Neither can you. We must both live with the hand fate has dealt us.”
Never had a smile portrayed more evil. “Really? If I produce the heir to the Wrentham estate, I’ll be set for life. As a widow, I will have so much freedom, freedom to take a lover for instance.”
She refused to let this viper know how devastating and seriously she took her threat. She wanted Richard and she’d take him whatever way she could.
“I think the idea of taking a lover is perfectly understandable. It’s just that the man won’t be Richard.”
“Of course it will be Richard. He had to marry you, but he had chosen to marry me.”
“I think you’ll find my husband is far too honorable to shame me by taking a lover. I intend to be the only lover he needs. You see, I’m his best friend. I was before you and he became lovers, and I still am. He is, and always will be, my friend.”
“If you are such a good friend to Richard, then you’ll want to make him happy. Being with me is what will make him very happy. He told me.”
She swallowed, refusing to admit that Sarah could be right. For now, Richard would never knowingly hurt her by taking a lover. But forever is a long time, and if he couldn’t fall in love with her, he might resent the promise he had made. But he would not take a lover yet; not until he knew his heart. He’d asked for time and she would give him that. “It is up to Richard to decide what he wishes to do.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Sarah protested. “Richard is the most honorable man I know. He won’t press for a divorce. However, if you were to ask it of him, and tell him you’ve made a mistake,” she paused, and gave a cunning smile, “or better yet, tell him you love another-Mr. Hindsworth, for instance. I can see there could be more to the two of you than meets the eye. Richard would set you free, if you asked.”
Her heart ached. Sarah was right. If she asked it of him, Richard would move heaven and earth to see her set free. She didn’t want to be free, not if there was a chance Richard might come to love her.
She wasn’t cruel enough to tell Sarah that Richard no longer loved her. He’d told her the truth because Richard had promised no lies. The truth of Richard’s heart, where Sarah was concerned, was not Maddy’s message to tell. Sarah wouldn’t believe her anyway. She would have to hear the words from Richard’s mouth.
Instead, Maddy fell back on her usual excuse, not wishing to admit that if she were thinking of Richard she would do as Sarah asked. “The scandal from a divorce would ruin me. It’s out of the question. I will not do that to Rufus, or to the Strathmore name he has worked most of his life to clear.”
Sarah’s mouth firmed. “I, unlike you, do not care about scandal.” She turned toward the door. With her hand on the latch, she added bitterly, “I hope you are prepared for a life of loneliness then, for I shall be the one sharing Richard’s life, especially now that I….”
“You what?”
A genuine smile crossed Sarah’s face. She rubbed her stomach. “Now I am free of Charles of course. I am quite prepared to live in sin. Widows tend to have far more leeway.” She opened the door, and looking over her shoulder, she uttered with venom poisoning every word. “And I will not share. You may have his name, but I will have everything else-his heart, his body and his soul.”
The closing of the door sounded like a death knell upon her marriage. At least she now knew where she stood. If Sarah was setting out to take Richard from her, Maddy didn’t know how she could stop her. She could ask him directly not to take Sarah, or any woman as his mistress, but her pride would not let her. She didn’t want a husband whom she had emotionally blackmailed into her bed.
For the moment, she had Richard’s promise that he would not sully their marriage vows. But if he ever broke that promise, their marriage would be in tatters and she may as well ask for a divorce.
The alternative would be to live in the
country and pretend her husband didn’t love another, but hadn’t she done enough hiding already? She’d hidden for most of her life, growing up as the daughter of a traitor. She deserved better.
She realized it would be difficult to end a fully consummated marriage. Richard petitioning for divorce would be the only way, especially if she had got with child. That thought made the blood flowing her veins turn to stone. If Richard divorced her, he could also keep any children from her.
Madam du Barry’s book had explained how to prevent conception. She closed her eyes, willing the pain to dull. She wanted Richard’s child so badly, but it would not be fair to the child if she and Richard ended up parted or, God forbid, divorced.
She needed to think. She needed a plan. She needed to find proof that Timothy had killed his brother. Solving the murder would get Sarah out of their lives.
#
Rufus Knight, Lord Strathmore, or the new Earl of Hascombe, as most villagers now liked to call him, was well liked in Newmarket and the surrounding area. His horse stud had created employment for many of the local lads, and in addition, Rufus looked after his tenants well and was considered a hero for having cleared his father of treason, thereby restoring the Strathmore name.
Therefore, it didn’t take more than a few drinks at the local tavern for the men, some of them Rufus’s tenants, to inform them that young David Tanner had come into money. Tanner’s sister was very ill, and he’d been bemoaning the fact he could not afford the doctor. However, suddenly the doctor had called on the Tanner household, and had done so every second day since. Obviously, but inexplicably, David now had money for medicine.
Given directions to the Tanner holding, they approached and then sat waiting for David to show himself. They didn’t have to wait long. He came outside to the well. They moved their horses forward. Upon seeing them, David dropped his bucket and took off at a run. It was a stupid move, as on horseback it took only moments to catch him.
Invitation to Passion Page 17
