by J M Hemmings
‘Father above,’ he gasped, ‘I’ve ne’er been so high up in my life! How … how can this be?!’
A knock on the door yanked him out of the view-induced trance, and he staggered away from the window, still wary of the vertigo-swimming pull that threatened to suck his body out of the room and hurl it to a plummeting doom below.
‘Young cub, may I come in?’
The deep voice of the bearded white man.
‘Yes sir, I mean, guru ji.’
The door opened, and the bearded man entered the room, bowing slightly as he did. He looked William’s body up and down, and only then did he remember that he was naked, although at this stage it was too late to cover up, so instead he just stood with a look of embarrassed awkwardness upon his face. The man did not seem to care, though; he was too busy scrutinising his wounds. He walked up to him and examined the pink and crimson scars that the lion’s teeth and claws had left when they had torn his flesh open. The man peered closely at the wounds, and then gave a satisfied nod.
‘How do you feel, cub? Strong? Healthy? Full of vitality and life?’
‘Er, well, aye. Aye, guru ji, tha’ is how I feel, actually,’ William answered, feeling quite surprised at the man’s uncannily accurate diagnosis of his current state of health. ‘But I dunnae understand how, nor why. I also havenae felt no cravings for my, um, my medicine, which is unusual for me, or at least it has been in recent times.’
‘Your medicine? And what might that be?’
‘Opium, guru ji. I need it, fir … fir pain.’
The man stroked his beard contemplatively before replying.
‘I see, but I do not think that you will need it any longer. Indeed, you will never again need to take any form of medication, nor see any doctors, not for the rest of your life.’
William frowned, raising a confused eyebrow.
‘I’m no’ sure what you’re getting at, guru ji.’
‘And that is fine, cub! It is how it shall be, for now. There will be many things that will confuse you, that will confound you, that will mystify you about the changes that you are going through. All of this is perfectly normal though; death and rebirth are massively traumatic events, and the human mind, so used to its very restricted view of existence, so hampered in development by the unbreakable shackles of mortality, will naturally be overwhelmed when thrust into the post-human state, the state into which you have been reborn. The state of near immortality.’
‘Im-, immortality? Did I hear you right? You surely cannae mean that.’
‘I mean exactly that, cub.’
‘I mean no disrespect, guru ji,’ William ventured cautiously, ‘but are you sure you know what tha’ word means? Is English maybe no’ your first language, like?’
The man chuckled, the corners of his mouth stretching upward and to the sides in a jovial smile.
‘I know exactly what the word means, I assure you! And I do not use the term lightly, my boy. And, to be sure, there is no more suitable word in your English tongue to describe what I am talking about: immortality is what I said, and it is precisely what I meant. I know that the concept must seem utterly inconceivable to you, and that you cannot possibly grasp the reality of it. I understand that even considering the notion as a remote possibility must fill you with trepidation … yet believe it you must, for it is the truth of your new life.’
William shook his head and sat down on the edge of the bed, trying to wrap his head around what this man was saying to him.
‘What is this … this “rebirth” an’ this “new life” you’re talkin’ about? And why dae you keep calling me “cub”?’
The man chortled loudly, his laughter richly imbued with compassion and sympathy.
‘Oh young cub, young cub!’ he chuckled, radiating a sense of calm yet infectious joy and contentment. ‘You have so much to learn! I cannot deny that I feel somewhat envious of you right now. My own death and rebirth were nothing like yours, and it took me many years to find my way, for I had neither teachers nor guides … not good ones, at least. But you, you are here at the centre of the universe, with us to help you! You are freshly reborn, thirsting for knowledge, hungering for development! Oh, by the powers of the universe and all the energy streams, I can feel your yearning, I can taste it! You have so much potential, cub, so much! My friend saw it when she first laid eyes on you in the forest, when you were with your expedition. She has a gift for these things, you see. We all have our own unique set of gifts, and we are all very eager to discover – and keen of course to help you discover – what yours are.’
‘I … I dunnae have no gifts. I’m no’ special,’ William muttered. ‘At least I dunnae think I am. But … now that I think ay it, you’re no’ the first person tae tell me tha’.’
The man narrowed his eyes and stared intently at William.
‘Really? In your former life, someone told you these things?’
‘Well, he didnae put it exactly like you did, but my former commanding officer, Captain Liversage, he told me he saw great potential in me. His last orders were tha’ I be promoted tae lieutenant, but there was … an incident, an’ it couldnae be done.’
The man nodded, intertwining the fingers of both hands.
‘Hmm, I see. Well, you must understand that everything in this existence happens for a reason, cub. You were not meant to be a lieutenant in an army, you see. It was simply written in your fate. Such things are for lower mortals; men of violence and thuggery. These murderers are dressed up in glorious-looking uniforms, yes, and they have gratuitous excesses of wealth, titles and power bestowed upon them for the massacres they commit. However, despite what society and your culture would have you believe, such fellows are not to be respected, nor admired. Yes, young one, there is much that you need to un-learn before you can begin to truly comprehend what we will teach you. You may regret the missing of that opportunity now, but trust me, when you have learned a few things, and your closed eyes have been cleared of the cataracts that currently blind them, you will bow down and praise the universe and its energies that you are no longer a murderer, bound to an association of murderers.’
‘But, but how can you say tha’?’ William gasped, sitting up straight and adopting somewhat of an indignant tone. ‘Captain Liversage was a damned fine gentleman! One ay the finest I’ve e’er met, I’ll have you know! You cannae insinuate tha’ he was nowt but a thug an’ a murderer! I’m sorry, but you dunnae have the right tae say that, no right at all … guru ji.’
The man flashed William a look of sympathy before replying.
‘I’m sorry, cub. Perhaps I did not choose my wording as carefully as I may have. Please understand, I did not mean to imply that your Captain Liversage was a murderer or a thug. In fact, I’m quite sure that he likely had noble intentions in his heart. As did you, no doubt, in your desire to be promoted and make a career out of the army. I’m sure that you genuinely believed that you were doing the right thing by fighting in battles, by killing enemy soldiers – as did your captain. But you must also understand that to see the actions of armies and of soldiers from the outside, with a mind that has been truly opened and bleached of the cultural pollutants that foul almost all mortal minds – when your mind reaches such a stage, you simply cannot see acts of violence, committed in whatever name, as anything but base brutalities, and the participants who commit such things as brutes themselves. But please know, cub, that in saying this I pass no judgment on you personally, and nor do I pass it on your captain.’
‘All right guru ji, if you say so,’ William said uncertainly.
‘You will learn more of these things in time, cub.’
‘Why do you keep calling me tha’? You didnae answer me about tha’.’
A mysterious smile spread across the man’s face, crinkling the crow’s feet around his eyes with its cheeky mischief, and opening up a sinkhole dimple in his rough cheek.
‘You’re about to find out,’ he murmured.
Suddenly a searing pain rocketed th
rough William’s body, setting every nerve-ending aflame and pouring liquid-metal agony over every square centimetre of his skin. He fell to the floor, howling as the pain pulsed its crippling intensity through every one of his limbs, tunnelling its barbed-wire drill-bits through every muscle, all the way to the tip of every extremity.
‘I’m sorry,’ he heard the man say, his voice sounding distant and distorted through the terrible agony. ‘This will hurt the first few times. There is no way around that. True transformation can only be achieved through pain, through immense pain, and a shedding of one’s old skin…’
William arched his back and shrieked with agony as all of his muscles contracted to the point of tearing, and it truly seemed as if his skin were being flayed off inch by horrifying inch. He felt the man removing the necklace with Aurora’s portrait from his neck, and he managed to gasp a feeble protest through the awful agony.
‘No, please,’ he gasped, ‘dunnae take tha’ … take anything … but tha’…’
‘If I do not remove it it will be destroyed. You will see why when you awaken.’
Every bone in William’s body felt as if it were straining beneath the weight of a hundred tons of stone, and every muscle seemed to be on the verge of bursting into tattered shreds. William’s lungs felt as if they had collapsed, and he could no longer breathe.
‘I’ll see you when you wake up, cub. Try to not fight the feeling, as difficult as that may be.’
With those words ringing in his mind, William felt a heavy, crunching darkness fold a thick cloak over his eyes and mind, and with that he plunged into a sticky tar-pit of suffocating unconsciousness.
He could not tell how much time had passed by the time he woke up, but he did realise at once that something about himself was very different. He was lying on the floor, where he had passed out, but the stone tiles did not feel as cold as they should have against his bare skin. He felt as healthy, energetic and lively as he had prior to the strange attack of pain that had caused him to pass out – and, in fact, he felt even more healthy and energetic than he perhaps ever had in his life. In addition to these feelings, an innate sensation that he had never before possessed was radiating an addictive heat from his core; power and strength flowed through him, present in immense quantities.
As his senses started to analyse his surroundings, he heard breathing. The way he heard this breathing, however, was unlike anything he had ever before experienced. The sound was crisp and utterly clear, to the point where he could almost hear the bones of the man’s ribcage creaking as his chest rose and fell with every breath. He could discern the slight, almost imperceptible whistle of the air as it flowed in and out of the man’s mouth and nose, and the barely perceptible rustling of the hairs inside his nostrils, disturbed by the ceaseless passage of air. The man’s heart was thumping a calm but immensely loud rhythm inside his chest, and William could almost hear the surges of blood that the organ was forcing through the man’s veins and arteries.
The sensory overload was incredible, and almost unbearable in its intensity. From the window came the sound of the river, rushing along its rocky course miles below, yet the gurgling and bubbling of the water sounded as clear as if it were running through the room itself. An eagle’s piercing cry echoed through the room, and William jerked his head toward the window, expecting to see the bird perched on the sill – yet there was nothing. Then, out in the far distance, he saw the bird circling in great gyres in the sky. Once more it cried out, and he heard it as clearly as if it were but mere feet from him.
He was also surprised at how sharp his vision was; despite the eagle’s distance, he could make out the individual feathers on its body, rushing and rippling with the currents of wind upon which it rode. With a rush of awe he perceived the gleam of fiery life reflected in the eagle’s eye as its head turned briefly toward the conflagration in the distance: the red flames of the setting sun, crowning with beautiful fire the thorny peaks of stone that divided earth and sky on the distant horizon.
‘It is quite a spectacular sunset, is it not?’ the man remarked as he stared out the window. The inferno on the horizon anointed his bushy mane and beard with a halo of golden light, and for a moment he looked like some arcane deity, descended temporarily to this plane from a higher realm.
‘Roar.’
William gasped. Something was definitely not right about this.
‘Now there is something you must know, cub. You are going to look down – no, not yet, don’t look there, do as I say and keep your eyes on me – and you are going to be shocked at what you see, I guarantee you this. However, let me assure you that despite how things may look to your unaccustomed eyes, this is not a nightmare. This is not hell. This is reality. This is your new reality. And while it may seem like something horrifying to you right now, I promise you that it is something you will begin to appreciate, and indeed revel in. Are you ready to see the new you, the fresh body into which you have been born? Are you? Hahaha, no, I don’t think you are, not quite yet … but look you must! So go on, look at yourself!’
With a furiously mounting sense of trepidation, William peered down at his naked body – and immediately he reeled with shock. He scrambled back in a tangle and howled with fear, but the sound that escaped his lips was a roaring growl, a snarl that shook the wooden walls of this eyrie with its savagery. He fell over himself in a tumble of limbs – limbs that were thick with orange and white fur, banded with jagged black stripes.
‘Look at me, look into my eyes, cub,’ the man instructed. ‘You’re panicking, and that is understandable, but it is also unnecessary. Be still, listen to my voice, look into my eyes … Yes, that’s it, be still … Relax … Breathe in a deep, deep breath of this wondrous mountain air. You see why I did not shut your window? Such wonderful air this is! It must be allowed to flow through this room and invigorate us with its crisp freshness. Yes, that’s it, that’s it … Hold it in your lungs now, calm yourself. You are calmer now? Yes, yes you are, I can see it in your eyes. And by the Great Mother, what glorious eyes they are! You are magnificence taken physical form, a god of the forest made flesh incarnate! If you could only see yourself through my eyes, cub, you would be revelling in the wonder that is your new body! By all the energies of the universe, every one of these rebirths that I witness remains as awe-inspiring and miraculous as ever! I must bow down and thank the Great Mother for bringing you to us!’
The man got down on his knees, closed his eyes and whispered what sounded like some sort of incantation in a strange, unintelligible language. He then got up and walked over to William, keeping his movements slow and deliberate as he did.
‘Now you must listen to me, tiger. There is much for you to learn, very much. The first thing that I will tell you – which may seem like an obvious thing, but one of which you must be reminded nonetheless – is that you are, in this form, very, very powerful, and very dangerous, both to yourself and to others. Hold up your paw, or your hand, if you prefer me to refer to it as such.’
William, whose mind was aflutter with a riotous madness of confusion, had no other option but to do what this man said, so with a trembling arm he complied and lifted up his massive right paw.
‘Bare your claws. Don’t think about how to do it, just do it. Your subconscious mind will know.’
Somehow William managed to bare his claws instantly, noticing at once that each one was the size of a large man’s finger, and as sharp as any dagger.
‘Those blades of yours will cut deep as any knife, and with one swipe you could tear a man’s face off of his skull,’ the man said gravely. ‘Make no mistake cub, those are deadly weapons attached to your hands. Even deadlier though, are your teeth. You now possess in your neck and jaw muscles capable of crushing a buffalo’s spine, and combining that bite strength with those enormous canine teeth in your mouth, you could end a man’s life in seconds. Even the strongest men will seem like mere children in comparison to your physical prowess. But this is what I must explain to you: you m
ust use this power wisely. This gift has not been bestowed on you in order that you may fight, oppress and dominate. Nay, my cub, nay! We have been given these powers in order to reconnect to a time that was lost when humankind first divorced themselves from the natural world. We have been given a key, my boy, a key! A key to the doorway that will lead our mortal brethren off of the destructive and ruinous path onto which their civilisations have caused them to stray. And stray so far they have, so very far from their beautiful and humble roots, which were as custodians of the natural world, not as its exploiters and slave masters, which sadly is the manner in which they currently act.
No, young cub, ours is the task to bring the wayward sheep back to the fold, back to peace, back to harmony. So do not use this gift – and be sure of this, it is a gift, a majestic and wondrous boon – to wreak violence and destruction. No! You must use it carefully, and only ever to heal, to help, to honour, and to protect.
Now, retract your claws! Again, do not think about doing it – just do it.’
William retracted his claws, not quite realising how he had done it, but having done it successfully nonetheless. In response, the man laughed with joyous delight and clapped his hands.
‘Yes, yes! Excellent. Do you see now? Do you not feel glorious in this new body of yours? I can already tell that you are destined to become a powerful member of our tribe, our Council. That is the name by which our society refers to itself.’
He broadened his smile of delight and clasped his hands together.
‘Now for the second point,’ he continued, ‘one that I think that you will be most relieved to hear! You can and will change back into your human form. Do not worry, cub, this change you have just undergone is not permanent. You will not be stuck forever in the body of a tiger, so do not worry at all about that. The first few times it happens, changing back and forth between your human body and your tiger body will, unfortunately, be involuntary, but the more frequently it happens, the less painful it will be. Eventually, you will be able to slip between forms without pain, whenever you will it. I’m afraid that I cannot tell you right now how to enact the change to your human form. No, it is something that your unconscious mind must master on its own, in its own time. Like I said, the more times it happens, the more control you will have over it. But rest assured, you will have control over it eventually. Let me show you, my boy, just in case you don’t believe me.’
