by Lena Hart
“H-he doesn’t want me anymore,” she whispered thickly. She had spent the past few days coming to terms with that, but it still hurt to acknowledge it.
Tristan shook his head, a small grin forming on his lips. “You’d be surprised at how bad he still wants you. My cousin’s a sensitive guy. Something I’ve tried to beat out of him, but he is who he is,” he said with a shrug. “I just think you broke his heart a little.”
Another tear slipped from her eye and she quickly dashed it away. “I didn’t want to do that.”
He gave her arm a gentle squeeze. “You can trust Carlos, Judith. Just talk to him. Then you can stop running.”
Chapter Twelve
Carlos pulled up to the ranch house, irritated by the sudden eagerness that welled up in him. It wasn’t enough that he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her these past few days, now he was acting as if she would throw her arms around him the minute he walked through the door.
He shook his head and got out of the car. There was no way she missed him as much as he’d missed her and he needed to remember that.
Grabbing the shopping bags from the back seat, he headed toward the house. Though sunlight still streaked the now graying sky, it was still later than he’d intended to come over. But he’d gotten himself distracted at the store, getting more than she’d asked for. She’d simply asked for cat food but he’d come bearing three heavy bags of…stuff.
She must have heard him pull up because the door opened just as he began to bound up the short steps leading to the house. She stood at the opening, her curvaceous figure silhouetted by the light inside. He stopped directly in front of her and they simply stared at each other for what seemed like forever.
“Hi,” she whispered.
One simple word and he wanted to drop the bags and haul her into his arms. Except, he wouldn’t be satisfied with just holding her. He wanted to feel her soft, full lips again, wanted her naked beneath him, with his cock nestled deep inside her.
There was a look in her eyes that almost resembled longing, but her reaction the last time he’d touched her was still fresh in his mind. He had misread her response before, he wouldn’t do it again. Seeing desire in her, where there was none, was just another of his shortcomings.
The weight of the bags pulled him back to reality and shifted them in his hands. “These are heavy.”
“Oh, sorry.” She took a step back and he walked past her into the house, vaguely aware of her light, sweet scent.
She followed him into the kitchen where he deposited the bags on the counter.
“Thanks for this,” she said quietly.
He nodded then dug into one of the bags, emptying them onto the counter. She peeked into the other bag then slid him a quick glance. He’d bought things he’d thought she would like based on the items he’d noticed in her apartment. He figured she’d want more than the spicy foods and doughy snacks his aunt had packed.
Like a repeat from the other day, they began putting away the food stuff. In silence. There was one last bag and she pulled out the cans of cat food, which was the same stuff he’d seen her feed Prince the other day. In that same bag, there was a small puzzle box he’d also purchased.
She just stood there staring down at it and he suddenly felt awkward about the last minute purchase but he ignored it. If she thought it was stupid, he wouldn’t care.
He didn’t realize he was staring at her, waiting for her reaction, until she glanced up. Her eyes were wide and suspiciously bright, but he couldn’t tell what she was thinking.
“This was sweet of you, Carlos,” she finally said.
He shrugged. “It was on sale.” But he was secretly pleased that she was pleased. “And I figured you’d want something to do to pass the time.”
She smiled then. “Thanks. I think even Prince is getting bored of playing with me.”
Without thinking, he returned her smile. Not because of what she’d said, but because of the way the small action lit up her face. Everything she did mesmerized him—and turned him on. He forced himself to look away as he put the last few items in the cabinets. “Where is the little guy anyway?”
“Probably sleeping in his second favorite hiding place. Under the bed.”
The last word brought up images of both of them on top of that bed, rising and straining together. Almost everything she said or did reminded him of that night, reminding him that he hadn’t gotten his fill of her. Agitation and frustration began to build in him and awkward silence fell between them.
He needed to leave soon. Either that or he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from pulling her into his arms.
“If you need anything else, give me a call,” he said, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his keys.
She frowned. “You’re leaving?”
He nodded curtly and headed toward the door. She surprised him by stepping in front of him.
“But you just got here.”
His brows pulled together and he stifled an exasperated sigh. “And now I’m leaving.”
“But I was…I was hoping you would stay.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. What game was she trying to play? She’d already made a fool of him once, he wasn’t about to let it happen again.
“Why?”
She stared at him, her eyes wide and lost. “Because I don’t… It gets lonely here at night.”
He cocked a brow sardonically. “This is what you wanted, Judith,” he said, not at all sympathetic to her sudden plight. “Besides, you have Prince.”
She shook her head, not looking at him. “You know what I mean.”
“Actually, I don’t,” he said, staring down at her. From her embarrassed hesitation, he had an idea but refused to interpret what she wanted from him. He was getting tired of guessing what it was she was thinking or feeling.
“What is it you really want, Judith?”
She kept her gaze on his chin. Then, without warning, she slowly walked up to him and placed her hand on his abdomen. He sucked in his breath and instinctively, the muscles there tightened. His arms fell to his side and he kept his gaze on her bent head as she moved her hands lower and began undoing the buckle of his belt. He stood completely still, his body reacting to her closeness and to the feel of her fingers brushing against him.
Part of him wanted to let her to continue but instead he cupped her chin and raised her face to his. “What are you doing?” he asked quietly.
Her eyes were wide as she looked up at him searchingly. “I want to…I want you to…” She let her words falter and he quickly grew impatient.
“To what?”
She paused for the smallest of seconds then leaned up and kissed him. It was a soft, tender kiss that invited him to take the lead.
And damn it, he was only a man.
The kiss soon turned hungry and fierce, her fingers clutching at the material of his shirt. She parted her soft lips for him and he swept his tongue inside, tasting the subtle sweetness there. But this wasn’t enough. He wanted to feel her naked skin pressed along his. He wanted the soft warmth of her hands to touch his heated flesh.
But he had no clue what she wanted or why she was doing this. Clasping his hands around her hips, he tore his lips from hers and pushed her away from him. What air he could draw was labored and rough. He’d be damned if he let her use sex to control him.
“What the hell is this, Judith?” he growled, grasping her arms and giving her a small shake. “I don’t need you to be my whore tonight.”
Her sharp gasp was like thunder in his ear and the crushed look on her face almost stopped his heart. Her hurt gaze slipped away from his as silence settled heavily between them in the kitchen. She pushed away from him and he cursed.
“Judith, wait.” He grabbed her arm but she tugged again at her arms. “I’m sorry,” he said, pulling her back to him and holding her firm. “I’m sorry, okay?”
She stopped her short struggle and he pulled her closer to him, taking in her light s
cent, wishing things were different between them. That he wasn’t filled with this crazy lust and bitterness whenever he came near her.
“No more games,” he said. “Just tell me what you want?”
“I’m not trying to get anything from you, Carlos,” she said, her eyes fixed on his chest. “I just wanted you to…”
He cupped her chin and lifted her gaze to his. His eyes bore down on hers. “Make love to you?”
She nodded jerkily.
“Then say it.”
She took a deep breath and stared at him directly. “I…I want to be with you, Carlos. Please make love to me.”
She didn’t get out another word. If she wanted him, even just a little, he wasn’t going to turn her away. He brought his mouth down to hers, slanting his lips over hers and taking in everything she had to give. The kiss was demanding and urgent, and he wanted more.
He pulled away from her and tugged his shirt over his head, never looking away from her. Desire flushed over her smooth brown face and her soft, full lips were parted slightly. In that moment she was breathtaking.
Before she could react, he grabbed her shirt and pulled it over her head. She wrapped her arms around her middle, but his eyes were drawn to the swells of her breasts peeking over the small trim of black lace in her bra. There was nothing more erotic than that tease of flesh.
He took a deep breath to steady his racing heart, but it did little to help. His hands itched to touch her while his cock strained to be inside her.
But there was an unnatural stillness in her. He could sense the rigidity in her as she stood there with her arms wrapped tightly around herself. She was already losing the fire that had just burned brightly within her moments ago. He cupped her chin and lifted her face to his, unclear of what was going on inside that head of hers. The last thing he ever wanted, was for her to feel obligated into sleeping with him.
He rubbed the pad of his thumb over her smooth jaw. “No, don’t look at me like that. I still want you, but we don’t have to do this,” he murmured, though his body protested those words vehemently. “I’ll still stay the night if you want me to.”
Her eyes glistened and she moved her gaze to his chest. “I want this,” she whispered. “I want you.”
Her arms dropped to her side. With the surge of lust pumping through him from her words, it took him a moment to notice the dark, angry marks slashed across her stomach and sides. He frowned and glanced up at her. She kept her gaze on his chest. There were a few faded marks on her lower abdomen, which were deliberate and precise and he recognized them as surgical scars.
He reached out and lightly traced the largest of them that crossed just below her breast and down to the opposite end of her hips. Was this why she didn’t want him to see her in the light? Why she had pulled away from him the other night—and was emotionally pulling away from him now?
“What did this?” he asked gently.
She placed a hand over his to still his movements. “It was…I was in a car accident a long time ago.”
He stared down at her then hooked his fingers inside the band of her jeans and pulled her toward him. She looked up at him then, startled.
“You have nothing to be embarrassed about,” he said, kissing her in a way that told her how much he wanted her. He moved his lips over her cheek, her jaw, until some of the stiffness melted away from her. “You’re still very beautiful, Judith. And I still want to make love to you.”
In response to that, she unsnapped the button of his jeans and lowered the zipper. His entire body tensed with anticipation as she moved her hands inside, slowly stroking him. He sucked in a sharp breath and he closed his eyes for a moment, letting the intense pleasure flow through him. He grew harder, pulsing against her soft palms. Her gentle strokes wrenched a deep groan from him and he knew he would lose it now if he didn’t get her into bed.
He pulled away from her tormenting touch, and drew her to him for a fierce kiss. Without breaking the fevered embrace, he lifted her to him and her legs instinctively wrapped around his hips. He started toward the darkened bedroom, letting his instinct guide him. She kept her arms around his neck as he guided them to the bed.
He pulled away long enough to strip off his pants and removed the rest of her clothes. She tried to pull the sheet over her, and he knew it was to hide herself, her scars, from him.
“Don’t,” he murmured, grabbing the sheets and pulling them away. “Let me see you.” He didn’t want her hiding from him ever again.
Positioned between her legs, his cock straining painfully between them, he could make out her full breasts and round hips in the dark room. He ran his hands over the tops of her smooth thighs, enjoying the feel of her soft skin.
Moving his hand between her legs, he slid his finger into her and he gritted his teeth against the intense pleasure of her damp, snug heat clenching around his finger. She grabbed his biceps and bit down on her lower lip, cutting off a low moan as she lifted her hips toward this thrusting finger. He imagined the same, soft pulsations around him, and his cock jerked. He wanted to do more, but he’d waited too long to have her again.
With a harsh groan, he hooked his arms under her legs and pulled her to him. Guiding his hard shaft into her, he watched as it slowly disappeared inside her. Her inner muscles instantly clamped around him and he shuddered from the pleasure of it. He fell over her, bracing himself on his elbows as he thrust into her as deeply as he could get. Her soft moans rang in his ear and he held still above her.
“You feel so good, muñeca,” he whispered hoarsely, placing light kisses on her brow, her cheek, down to the corner of her lips. Even the pressure of her breasts against his bare chest sent prickles down his back and to his tight balls.
He buried his face in the crook of her neck as he began to inch his way out of her slowly before pushing back in. His breathing was labored as he continued his leisurely thrusting. The intense pleasure of her tight body clasped around him almost bordered on pain and a harsh groan escaped him. He passed the tip of his tongue over the base of her neck, then made his way back to her lips. Her hands clutched his shoulders as he teased and tasted her with every lick and pull of her soft lips.
He tore his lips away and rested his forehead on hers. Her eyes were closed but the fire between their bodies blazed bright. With every thrust, she quivered and clenched around him, bringing him that much closer to sweet release.
Not yet, he told himself. Not without her.
“Baby,” he said thickly on a deep thrust, “look at me.”
Her lids fluttered open and it was there in her eyes that he saw it—her distance. Her detachment. He stilled his movements and hovered above her.
She may have been rising to meet his every thrust, her body clenching fiercely around him, but she was still keeping a part of herself hidden away. Out of his reach. She wasn’t connecting or sharing or getting lost in sweet oblivion with him.
She may have been physically with him, but she wasn’t truly with him.
And he wouldn’t accept that.
With painful effort, he pulled out of her tight body and fell to his back. He threw his arm over his eyes, trying to control his raging lust, but his damp shaft strained toward his navel with unspent need, begging for release.
“Carlos?”
He turned toward her low, confused voice. She sat up on the bed, the sheet once again clutched close to her. Her hair was tousled and her eyes were wide, different from the woman who had lain there while he’d been consumed by her, trying to get as deep in her as he could possibly get. But he’d been in that alone—getting lost in the pleasure of their union by himself.
With his jaw clenched, he turned away from her. He placed his arms behind his head and stared fixedly at the dark ceiling. “What do you want, Judith? From me? From this? Huh? Because I’m tired of guessing with you.”
Silence followed and he wasn’t all that surprised.
“Okay, fine, then I’ll tell you what I don’t want,” he said harshly
. “I don’t want you to give me the use of your body, Judith. I don’t want to fuck you. I want to make love with you. I need you to be with me when I’m inside you. I need us to be in it together. Can you understand that?”
She tensed beside him. He was still painfully erect and wanted nothing more than to slide back into her and find his release. But he kept his hands behind his head, fighting for control.
“When we first made love, we were… I don’t even think there’s a word to describe it,” he continued quietly. “With every stroke I felt all of you. You were with me in that moment. That’s what I want again.”
He glanced over at her. Even in the dark room, he could see that her eyes were now closed. Again, locking her thoughts and feeling inside herself. Away from him. He gritted his teeth in frustration.
“I want you to open more than just your legs for me, Judith. I want it like it was before. I want us to connect. I want you to want me because I want all of you, damn it.”
He turned away from her again, but not before he saw the single tear slip down her cheek. Though he wanted desperately to pull her into his arms, he didn’t dare. She would have to be the one to come to him. He was done chasing after her.
He tensed in surprise when she tentatively placed a hand on his chest. The surge of desire that passed through him from the light touch was not unexpected.
“I do want you, Carlos,” she murmured, then crawled over him and straddled him.
His cock jerked against her heated flesh, but he placed his hands on her thighs, not sure if she understood that he meant every word of what he’d just said.
“Judith…” he began then sucked in a sharp breath when she grabbed his rigid shaft and guided him into her. A loud hiss ripped through his teeth and it took every ounce of willpower he possessed not to come into her right then.
