The women comforted their own children and said nothing. It was as if they expected Mary to work some sort of miracle, and when Dancing Star’s mother spoke again, Mary was certain that was exactly what they expected.
“You talk to your God and have Him work His Spirit magic.”
Mary shook her head. “I’ll talk to God, but He isn’t a magic worker. He has a plan and an order for all of this.” She reached out and patted the head of a small boy and couldn’t help but wonder what his future would be. In the distance thunder rumbled, and Mary realized that it might rain. They desperately needed it, but not only that—the rain would slow down the army and maybe give the Navajo men a chance to get further into hiding.
THIRTEEN
BACK AT THE HARVEY HOUSE, everyone crowded around Jillian and the baby.
“Oh, she’s so tiny,” one girl said, reaching out to touch the baby’s fingers.
Louisa popped a look over Jillian’s shoulders. “She won’t be any trouble. They mostly sleep at this age.”
“I know it’s a problem,” Jillian said, looking at Gwen’s worried expression. “But I promise I’ll see to all her needs. You won’t have to worry about a thing.”
Gwen shook her head. “No, Judith. If you are to have her here, we’ll all help. Poor little mite. She can’t help her circumstances.”
Jillian smiled but it quickly faded as one of the newest replacements, a young woman of eighteen or nineteen, chimed in, “But she’s an Injun.”
“She’s a baby, Miss Stamos,” Gwen countered before Jillian could say a word.
Jillian threw Gwen a grateful look. “Thank you for understanding.” Just then Zack Matthews came bounding into the dining room. “I just heard from Mac about the school,” he said, coming to Jillian and Gwen. “Miss Danvers, do you know what route Mary took?”
“No, not really. I rode with her once when she was trading goods, but I don’t know which trail we were on or how she got there. Mary said the Navajo have many areas where they’ve congregated to live together. She said there were several roads and many settlements throughout the reservation. Why, Mr. Matthews? Is Mary in danger?”
“I’m afraid she might be. Bear might have counted on someone going to her for help. He may have laid in an ambush for her and any other white man to head his way.”
“No,” Jillian gasped, pulling the baby closer. “Mary is only trying to help Bear. The Navajo are good, peaceful people.”
“Except when you push them around,” Zack suggested. “They haven’t been happy with the new schools, and now that they’ve actually taken matters into their own hands, the army will step in and see to it that the perpetrators are punished. Unfortunately, a great many innocent people may be punished as well.”
He looked briefly at Gwen, and it was while watching this tender exchange that Jillian was more certain than ever that they had fallen in love.
“Miss Carson, I’d like a moment to speak with you before I head out.”
Gwen paled but nodded. “Girls, get back to work,” she ordered before following Zack from the room. “Oh, and, Judith, just take the baby upstairs and I’ll be up directly to help you.”
Jillian moved down the hall to the back stairs, then carefully cradling the baby with her left arm, she pulled up her skirt with her right hand and made her way up. She entered her room and after searching the bedding, she placed Little Sister’s baby in the center of her own bed.
“What am I going to do?” she questioned, staring at the infant. “I don’t know anything about taking care of children.” She tried to remember all that Mac and Mary had told her. Mac had taken the goat home with him, promising to bring extra milk within the hour. But that wouldn’t solve all of her problems. Feeling inadequate, Jillian realized that she didn’t even know how to change the baby’s diaper.
“They’re really not that much of a mystery,” Gwen said from the open doorway.
“Oh, I would beg to differ with you,” Jillian replied in complete exasperation. “I don’t know why I agreed to this. I’ve never had the opportunity to so much as hold a baby before today.”
Gwen stood beside her. “It’ll be all right. We’ll all help.”
Jillian turned to look at her housemother. The worried expression on her face told Jillian that Gwen’s concern was for more than the child before them.
“Has Mr. Matthews gone after Mary?”
Gwen nodded and looked away.
“I know you’re worried about him, but he seems very wise in dealing with these matters. Not at all the kind to go off without thinking it through.”
Again Gwen nodded. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “He gave me this to keep for him.”
Jillian took the paper and unfolded it. The sketch was of a house with a woman who looked remarkably like Gwen, standing to one side, looking off at some distant rider.
“I didn’t know he could draw. He’s quite good.”
“Yes, he is.”
“But it’s more than that, isn’t it?” Jillian stated more than questioned. “You’re in love with each other.”
Gwen looked at her rather apprehensively and nodded. “But don’t go telling anyone. It’s almost more than I can believe.”
Jillian smiled and refolded the paper. “I think a good many folks 145 already suspect.”
“Well, it just wouldn’t do to go stirring up gossip and such,” Gwen said. She paused a moment, then added, “It’s just that, well, I was engaged once before to a wonderful man. We were so happy, Judith.”
“What happened?” Jillian questioned, feeling awkward that Gwen was pouring her heart out to the wrong sister.
“He was killed in an accident at the factory in which he worked.” Her voice clearly revealed the sorrow that she had known. “It took a long time to get over that. It’s been over five years now.”
“I’m sorry,” Jillian replied. “That must have been terribly hard to endure.”
Gwen nodded and tears came to her eyes. “If anything happens to
Zack, I don’t think I could bear it. I wasn’t going to let myself fall in love with him, but now I’ve gone and done it and I just can’t stand the thought of him going out there to possibly be killed.”
Jillian reached out and patted Gwen’s arm. “Mary says we should pray when things like this come upon us. I’m not one to understand such matters too well, but Mary seems to know what works.”
“I know that prayer works,” Gwen admitted, “and I feel bad that I can’t just say that because I’ve prayed for him, I’m not worried about him. I suppose it’s a big sin to pray to God about something, then worry the whole time afterward.”
“If it is,” Jillian replied, “I’m sure He understands our fears. He made us, so He must realize how we feel.”
“Please don’t say anything about this to the other girls, Judith,” Gwen said, gripping Jillian’s hand. “I just don’t want a scene about this. Zack has asked me to marry him when he comes back. That’s what this picture is all about. He drew the house he wants to build me. He said he always wants me waiting there for him to come riding home to.”
“I promise I won’t say anything, but I have my own confession to make,” Jillian stated. She gathered her courage. “You probably won’t like it, but I’m begging you to hear me out and try to understand why I did what I did.”
Gwen eyed her suspiciously. “What in the world are you talking about?”
Jillian moved away and went to look out the window. The time to tell the truth had come. “I’m not Judith.” She turned and saw that Gwen didn’t understand. “I’m her twin sister, Jillian. Judith came home for our grandmother’s funeral and couldn’t bear the thought of leaving the man she’s loved all these years. She gave him all the money she had saved from her Harvey House job, and he invested it in a business and home for them.
“You have to understand, Judith and I have always been very close.
But even more so, Judith has a way of getting
what she wants, and I can’t usually fight her when she comes to me with such sincerity and hope.”
“So she asked you to come here in her place?” Gwen questioned. “But why? Girls were resigning their positions left and right to marry. Why did she not do the same?”
“Because her contract wasn’t up and she would lose half her back wages,” Jillian replied. “And she needed that money for her new life.”
Gwen shook her head. “Mr. Harvey very seldom demands that money. Although I have seen a time when he did, it was just to teach someone a lesson. Leave it to Judith to worry about such a matter.”
“It wasn’t just that,” Jillian continued. “She cared a great deal about all of you here in Pintan. She didn’t want to leave you without help. She asked me to come here and fulfill her contract, and now that I have nearly done so, I’m asking you to let me stay on and finish it out. But more than this,” Jillian said, stepping toward Gwen, “I’m asking you to let me stay on afterward.”
“Why?” Gwen questioned. “Now that you know Judith would suffer little or no consequences for what she’s done, why would you ask to finish out her term and stay on?”
“Because I’ve come to love it here, Gwen. I know I’m still kind of clumsy, but I’ve never had to do things for myself until now. I know, too, that you’re shorthanded and that no one wants to come to a small dining house in the middle of the Arizona heat. But I’ve come to love Arizona as well.”
Jillian went to where Gwen stood and pleaded, “Please, Gwen. Please try to understand that I wasn’t seeking to hurt anyone with this deception. I only wanted to help Judith.”
“Lies are never the way to fix a problem. You’ve allowed people to believe in you, to give you their confidences.”
“I know,” Jillian said, wringing her hands together. “I’ve been feeling horrible ever since . . . well, since I’ve come to care so much about everyone. Kate and Louisa guessed it. I suppose given the fact that I didn’t have the same wound on my arm from when Judith burned herself and all the little subtle differences you see when you room with someone, they were able to see through my facade. They were very kind. But I know I don’t deserve kindness or to be excused. I’m just begging for you to forgive me and allow me to go on with my life here.”
“Well, it certainly explains a great deal,” Gwen said thoughtfully. “I thought Judith must have been beside herself with grief given her inability to perform her tasks properly.”
“It was simply a lack of experience, I assure you. Haven’t I improved?”
Gwen nodded. “Yes. Yes, you have. I’m amazed, however. How you managed to keep everyone besides Kate and Louisa from knowing your true identity is beyond me.”
Jillian looked to the floor in embarrassment. “Well, I didn’t exactly keep it from everyone. Mac found out right away. When I had to have my hand stitched up, he wanted to look at Judith’s burned arm.”
“Oh my,” Gwen said, grinning, “I would imagine that was quite a shock.”
Jillian laughed and nodded. “It was, but he agreed to keep my secret, and for that I’m eternally grateful. He has always been very good to me and I . . . I have always appreciated his help.”
“I would imagine there is something more than appreciation between you two. Sam told me you were courting.” Jillian flushed and opened her mouth to contradict this, but Gwen continued. “I am short on available help, and because of that—and the fact that I like you—I’ll let you stay for as long as you want the job. In fact, consider Judith’s contract fulfilled. I’ll write up a new one just for you.”
“Truly?”
“Truly. But Jillian, no more lies,” Gwen stated softly. “I won’t pretend to understand the full reason you would allow such a drama to play out in your life, but our lives here at the Harvey House are founded on openness and honesty. If you can’t give that to me, then don’t stay.”
Jillian swallowed hard. “I understand. I don’t want there to be any more lies, either.”
Gwen smiled. “Good. Now we need to be thinking about this baby. I’ll see if there isn’t a crate or an extra trunk for keeping her in. We have to keep her safe from the varmints around here,” Gwen said, moving toward the door. “And, Jillian, thank you for keeping my thoughts on Zack to yourself.”
“I think most everyone knows your heart for Mr. Matthews,”
Jillian said with a smile. “But I’ll keep quiet.”
“I think we should let everyone know the truth about you,” Gwen said as she paused at the door. “I think most everyone will understand, but you should probably be prepared for some to be unforgiving. Not everyone will care about your reasoning.”
“The people I care about have already forgiven me,” Jillian replied. “Still, I know it was wrong to impose upon the trust of so many. I don’t want people getting the wrong impression about me.”
“I don’t imagine they will. Especially after they think about it and remember Judith’s way with folks.”
Jillian grinned. “She does have a way, doesn’t she?”
Gwen laughed. “So do you.”
Jillian thought of Gwen’s words long after her housemother had taken herself off in search of a proper bed for the baby. Maybe I have more courage and daring than I thought, she reasoned. After all, I’m here, like Mac pointed out. And I’ve taken on the task of a baby and a job and now I’ll have to take on the task of standing up to my mother and father, as well. The latter thought filled her with apprehension.
* * *
The girls were all true to their word. They came in various shifts to offer help with the baby, and when they all gathered together that evening after the dining room had been closed for the night, the most important task of all was considered: What should they name the baby?
“I don’t know any Navajo names,” one girl threw in.
“I don’t think it should have to be a Navajo name,” Louise replied. “After all, the Navajo don’t want her.”
Jillian rocked the baby gently in a borrowed cradle that Mrs. Lister had managed to come up with. The entirety of the cradle rockers had been placed in a large pan of water, a necessity since a scorpion sting or spider bite would most likely be the death of the infant.
“What about something like Mary?” someone suggested. “After all, Mrs. Barnes is the one who will go on caring for her after she comes back.”
“If she comes back,” another girl added.
The idea of Mary never returning hadn’t occurred to Jillian. What would she do if Mary ended up dead in some ambush? The baby would truly be homeless then. Could Jillian go on working at the Harvey House and keep the infant with her? She would just have to have hope that the future would work itself out.
“I’m thinkin’ somethin’ biblical would be good,” Kate suddenly declared. “Maybe somethin’ like Sarah or Ruth.”
“Mary’s biblical,” the girl who’d suggested the name countered.
“What about something like Faith or Patience?” Kate questioned.
“Why not Hope?” Jillian suddenly said.
“Yes, Hope is perfect,” Louisa agreed.
“Aye,” Kate said. “She looks like a Hope.”
They all agreed that the name was perfect, and long after they had all gone to bed and Jillian sat feeding the infant girl her midnight bottle, Jillian still thought the name fit to a T. They would all need hope if they were to get through this conflict between the Navajo and the government.
“I’ll bet even Mary will like the name,” she whispered to the baby. Her heart ached at the thought that Mary might not return. After all, there had been no news or sign of Zack or Mary. What if Bear had ambushed them and killed them? What if he was putting together an entire army of warriors to come and kill everyone who had caused the Navajo harm? Jillian felt her body tremble. How she longed to hear Mac’s reassurance that everything would be all right. How she longed to feel his arms around her, comforting her, loving her.
“Oh, Hope, this is a hard world you’ve co
me to live in. But Mary says that God can make even the hardest places soft and smooth.” The baby’s dark eyes watched Jillian as she spoke. She seemed so observant, and it was almost as if she knew exactly what Jillian was saying.
A strange noise came from outside in the street, and Jillian immediately thought of Bear and the night he’d stood in front of Mr. Cooper’s office.
Carefully, she placed the baby in the cradle and went to the window. Pulling back the shade, Jillian stared out into the darkness. The street was empty. She shuddered and quickly dropped the shade back into place. Just then she heard the wind pick up and the rain start to fall. How refreshing the thought of rain could be, but in this moment, she worried that it would thwart Zack’s efforts to find Mary.
God, please help Mary and Zack, she prayed. Please help us all.
FOURTEEN
TENSION MOUNTED in the following days when there was still no word from either Zack or Mary. Gwen and Jillian shared brief concerned glances, nodding as if to reassure the other that they were still thinking on the matter—still praying for intercession.
Jillian had never known such exhaustion as the ordeal of trying to keep up with a baby and work for Fred Harvey. When Sam brought her a telegram one morning, shortly after the westbound train pulled out of the station, Jillian merely tucked it into her pocket and continued with her duties. She yawned in complete exhaustion, trying hard to mask her weariness. She desperately wanted to show everyone that she was capable of handling both tasks.
Everyone had pitched in to help with Hope, and everyone had been extremely nice about the whole Jillian/Judith ordeal. They had, for the most part, thought it amusing and quite entertaining. Jillian felt relieved to be able to be herself again, but upon finding that luxury, she wasn’t entirely sure who she was anymore. She didn’t seem like the old Jillian. Her eyes had been opened to too much, and her mind and heart were occupied in ways they had never been before.
A deep growing love for Hope was present in her heart, as was a romantic love for Mac. The only problem, Jillian realized, was that neither one of them belonged to her in any form of permanency.
A Veiled Reflection Page 15
