The Choice

by Alice Ward

  Mom stepped in, running her hands through my hair. I pulled away. I wasn’t a baby anymore. I was a teenager. “How about Grant takes the first ride by himself, and then Gav can join him for the second?”

  “What about me?”

  That came from my little cousin, Samantha, who was only six and already annoying too.

  I looked at my aunt and uncle, who gave me a hopeful look. “Fine,” I muttered. “She can ride the third ride with me.”

  This was turning into the lamest birthday ever.

  I’d wanted a big party with my friends, but no… Mom thought it would be fun to rent this big party barge pontoon boat thing and have a big family event on the lake. So, here I was, with all four of my grandparents, three aunts, and two uncles. With my mom, dad, brother, and two cousins, the boat was packed with my entire family. Well, my littlest cousin was just a baby, but he took up more room than anybody with a little crib and swing and all the millions of baby stuff that came with him.

  Yes. This was lame.

  At least the burgers were good, and the pile of presents I hadn’t opened yet looked promising. And now, I’d get a little peace to myself.

  I waited for Dad to secure the rope and toss out the big tube that came with the boat. Pontoons weren’t like speedboats or anything, but it could go fast enough to catch a little wind.

  “Here’s your lifejacket, sweetie,” Mom said, holding the blue vest in her hands.

  “Mooom,” I whined. “I don’t need that. I’m a teenager.”

  She didn’t even blink. Just held the blue jacket from the tip of her finger.

  “Fine.”

  Stuffing my arms in the holes, I buckled the front and then suffered through the humiliation of Mom tightening it. Before I could pull away, she buzzed a quick kiss to my forehead. “Got ya,” she smiled, but she looked a little sad too. “You’ve grown up so fast. It’s like I blinked and you’re practically a man.”

  Ha. I was a man. I had three pubes to prove it.

  “Here you go.”

  Dad tossed out the tube, and I stepped to side of the boat to dive in. “Have fun,” Grandpa called. I turned back and waved. Everyone was smiling at me. Well, everyone except Gav.

  I dove into the water, swam to the float, and pulled myself up, holding the handles tight.

  Dad moved to the controls, looked back at me. I gave him a thumbs-up.

  And we were off. Well, we were moving, anyway. With so many people, it would take a little bit to hit full speed of twenty-two miles an hour. Dad told me that when he let me drive earlier. Maybe he’d let me drive more a little later.

  At the boat, Mom was videotaping me, and I waved at the camera so she would be happy.

  The water was warm, the sun shining above us. I started leaning toward the right, and the tube adjusted, bouncing over the wake. At the back of the boat, Samantha had come to watch, and clapped when I made the tube bounce over the wave again.

  This was fun.

  Dad talked about getting a boat for us to fish in, but one that could pull riders too. He said we’d make enough profit from the house we were flipping for a good down payment. And…

  The roar of engines had me looking up from where I was planning my next wave jump. There was a little island we were hooking around, and two speedboats were coming around the other side.

  They were going fast. Really fast. They were racing.

  Didn’t they see us?

  The collision was like a bomb as the two speedboats plowed into the pontoon in front of me. My mom was there, and then she wasn’t. Samantha and all the others were gone too. Just gone.

  Pain exploded through me, shattering the disbelief and horror as the propeller of one of the boats slammed into my chest and rode up my face. Later, I thought that God or whoever runs the controls of our lives wasn’t satisfied that an entire family was murdered on a bright, sunny day. That piece of metal came straight at me. No, God thought, the boy in the back needed to go too.

  But the angle had been wrong and instead of cutting off my head like it should have done, it left its mark and left me alive as the lone survivor of the Epic Family Tragedy.

  That was what the media called it as reporters spoke breathlessly into cameras, telling the world of how fourteen family members were killed by drunken teenagers out for a little thrill.

  I’d been too badly injured to attend any of the funerals, and by the time I was released following three surgeries and weeks of rehab, the media had shown little interest in the lone survivor. There had only been a few snapping pictures as I was wheeled from the hospital to a waiting car to be driven to a stranger’s home as a ward of the state.

  In a matter of second, I’d gone from being a son, a brother, a grandson, nephew and cousin to being an orphan. And when I stood at their graves that first time, I swore I’d never let anyone get so close. I never wanted to feel that pain again. That guilt.

  Nash had snuck in. His mom and dad too.

  At times, even having those three felt like too much responsibility. Too much risk.

  If something happened to one of them…

  I stared at my friend. Something was happening to one of them. Nash cared for her.

  Her.

  Journey.

  She cared for him too.

  I should just walk away. Leave. Let them be happy together. They were two happy people who deserved other happy people in their lives.

  Yes, that was what I should do.

  Setting down my glass, I turned and headed to my bedroom, closing the door softly behind me before walking to the windows to look out onto the world.

  It was better this way.

  Maybe one day, I’d believe it.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Journey

  “It’ll be okay.”

  Nash kept saying it over and over, but I didn’t know how that could possibly be true.

  In this moment. In these Jimmy Choo shoes I was still wearing. It didn’t seem possible that anything could ever be all right again.

  This was what I got for stepping outside the little world I’d built for myself and Jaz. What had I really expected? That I would sign a sex contract with one man while also sleeping with another and I’d come out unscathed on the other side?

  The echo of footsteps caught my attention, then the soft click of a door. Lifting my head up from Nash’s chest, I looked around. Grant was gone.

  Of course he was gone.

  Here I was in his living room, being comforted by his best friend who… har de har har… I’d been screwing.

  Why would he stay to witness this?

  “You care about him, don’t ya?” Nash asked, pushing my hair back from my face.

  I couldn’t speak. Only nod. I cleared my throat when pain flickered over his expression and added, “I care for you too.”

  “I know, honey. It’s the kind of person you are.” He looked down the hallway, in the direction of Grant’s bedroom. “Go to him.”

  My face crumpled, and I covered it with my hands. “What if he hates me?”

  He pulled my hands away and lifted my chin. “I don’t hate you, right? So why would he?”

  When I just stood there, uncertain of what to do, Nash sighed and took my hand.

  Like a puppy, I followed him, my heart pounding faster and harder as we approached the door of Grant’s bedroom. The place I’d made love with him Friday night.

  Nash didn’t knock. He just pushed the door open and pulled me inside.

  Grant didn’t move from where he stood at the expansive window, his hands deep in his pockets as we approached.

  “Man, we need to talk,” Nash said, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

  In what felt like slow motion, he turned, his eyes lingering on me before moving on to Nash. “I’ll step away. You two deserve to be together.”

  The breath rushed out of me, like someone had punched me in the stomach. I felt dizzy and reached out to hold on to something before I fell. That something turn
ed out to be Grant.

  “Aw, hell no, you two,” Nash said. “That’s not how this works. If anybody needs to step away, it’s me. I—”

  “Fuck no,” Grant barked. His arm tensed under my hand, and he pulled me against him when I swayed. I was just so dizzy. I’d never fainted in my life, but I was coming really close to it now. “It should be me.”

  “Hell, no, man. I see how you look at her.”

  “Because she’s fucking beautiful. I see how you look at her too.”

  “Stop,” I breathed.

  “Listen, you asshole,” Grant growled. “You know how I feel about relationships and—”

  “Blah de fuckin’ blah,” Nash retorted. “Contracts and all that shit only go so far. I—”

  “Stop,” I said louder. Then louder. “Stop.” The last was closer to a scream. “Just stop!”

  Grant’s hands tightened on my arms, but I pushed away. Pushed away from them both. “Me. It’s me. I need to leave.” I looked at Grant, and my lungs seized, making it painful to inhale. “I…” I looked at Nash. “I…” I looked back at Grant, and the wracking sobs hit me like a tidal wave. “I’m so sorry,” I said through the tears.

  Blinded, I turned to leave but was pulled back and into the muscular body of Grant. I knew his touch, his scent so well. He was at my back when Nash came to my front. Both of their hands were on me, comforting and soothing. And it felt so good. So very good.

  Nash lifted my chin and waited until I looked at him. Grant’s hands moved to my belly, stroking up and down. Nash looked up, over my head and to his friend. A silent communication seemed to pass between them because Nash nodded some silent understanding.

  “You don’t have to choose,” he said and leaned down to kiss me. “We’re both right here.”

  Strong hands turned me, and I looked up into Grant’s face. He wiped away my tears, his dark eyes so soft I nearly started crying again. “That’s right. You can have us both.”

  His kiss was so soft, so unexpected that I clung to him, pressing my lips to his. His hands cupped my face as other hands stroked down my arms.

  Those hands stopped at my wrists and journeyed back up to my shoulders while Grant’s tongue twisted around mine. The straps of my dress were moved to the side and lips pressed against my skin.

  This was wrong.

  And it was so very, very right.

  My dress fell to my feet, and I stopped thinking.

  And only felt.

  Closing my eyes, I accepted Grant’s tongue again as his kiss deepened, his hands moving into my hair. “So sweet.”

  A tongue on my shoulder, tracing a path to my neck. “Let us take care of you, darlin’. Let us make you feel good.”

  Hands came around me, cupped my breasts, squeezing my nipples as teeth came down on my ear. And still I kissed Grant, his mouth slicing over mine as Nash’s hands moved lower.

  “You don’t have to do anything but let us take care of you,” Grant said against my mouth before sliding his teeth along my jaw and to my ear. Goose bumps rose on my arms.

  This had to be a dream. A fantasy.

  But as my panties skated down my thighs, leaving me only in my shoes, I remembered how very real this was.

  Like anything that was too good to be true, I knew it wouldn’t last. So, would it be so very bad to simply enjoy it, especially since just a few seconds ago, I’d been so sure I’d lost it all.

  My breasts were covered again, and I was unsure of who the hands belonged to. And it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that we were together.

  Grant kissed down my neck, to my chest, tonguing my nipples on his descent. He kissed my belly, my hipbones, the patch of curls. Lower. On his knees now, he licked me, and my legs wobbled. Strong hands held me up and one of them plunged into my hair, twisting the strands around his fingers until he was able to crank my head to the side. Nash kissed me with so much hunger, it was enough to devastate me. How could I survive that kind of hunger?

  As Nash plunged his tongue between my lips, Grant plunged his tongue into me much lower. I keened, but the sound was lost in Nash’s mouth.

  As he sucked and licked at my clit, Grant’s hands slowly glided up my calves and past my knees. His fingertips lightly stroked the soft flesh of my inner thighs, sending little lightning bolts over the sensitive skin.

  Nash’s kiss deepened, my head turned at a nearly impossible angle to accept his crushing lips, and I held on to Grant’s hair, feeling drugged from all the sensations.

  The grip on my hair loosened, and Nash’s lips moved along my jaw to my ear and down my neck to my shoulder. Each vertebra felt the press of his lips as he moved down my back. When he was on his knees, he nuzzled the skin of my ass with his nose. I startled when he opened me up back there to his exploring tongue.

  “Fucking perfect,” Nash said from behind me.

  “A goddess,” Grant said from in front.

  I threw my head back, one hand on each of their heads as they bracketed me, pleasing me with their hands and mouths.

  Fingers move between my legs, scissoring me open.

  A tongue breached the tight muscles of my anus, and I nearly collapsed at the sensation.

  Grant moaned, sending vibrations into my clitoris, and it was all too much. Too much.

  I couldn’t survive more.

  But when Nash added a finger into me back there, I knew I could.

  Knew I wanted to.

  I panted, inhaling great gulps of air as they took me apart, lick by lick. Stroke by delicious stroke.

  And when my legs began to tremble, my core tightening, my eyes rolling back in my head, I embraced my first orgasm, knowing it wouldn’t be my last, and every cell in my body exploded, causing a chain reaction of ecstasy that went on and on.

  Behind me, Nash pushed to his feet and went into Grant’s bathroom. Before I could protest his loss, Grant moved up my body, kissing my stomach and breasts along the way.

  Nash came back with a wet washcloth, wiping his hand before tossing it onto the bedside table. Embarrassment flooded me as to why he needed it, but the emotion faded when he began to undress.

  As if they could read each other’s minds, Grant opened a drawer and tossed condoms and a bottle of lube onto the silky duvet. Then he was behind me, guiding me in Nash’s direction, who grinned wide as he sprawled backwards on the bed, his fat cock pointing straight into the air.

  “Come here, my wicked little lady. I’ve got something for you to ride.”

  I laughed, and the burst of sound relaxed me further as I took his hand and crawled onto the bed. He handed me a condom, and I ripped it open before carefully rolling it on. Hearing movement behind me, I looked over my shoulder to see Grant removing his clothes, his eyes dark with intensity.

  Hands on my hips lifted me, and I refocused on the smiling Nash as he lowered me on his sheathed shaft. “That’s right, baby. Use me. Take whatever you want.”

  When I was fully seated, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, my clit grinding down on his pubic bone. I got a moan from Nash with my efforts.

  Something cool and wet dropped onto my back, and I lifted up to find Grant pouring the lube onto me.

  I swallowed hard and turned as far as I could to meet his gaze as he smoothed the oil into my back and ass. “New experiences, Journey. All at the same time.” He pulled my head back and kissed me. “Enjoy the ride. I’m going to watch for a while.”

  Nash bucked underneath me in response to his words, and I was pulled back to him as I fell forward, landing with my hands on either side of his head, his cock splitting me wide open.

  “Hi, darlin’.”

  I smiled and leaned down to kiss him. “Hi.”

  Then the teasing and tenderness were over as he bucked up and into me again. “Ride me, Journey. Like your life depended on it.”

  I looked over to where Grant had moved to stand beside us. Who knew? Maybe it did.

  Gazing from dark to light, I looked back down at Nash and swirled my
hips, leaning forward so that my clit rubbed his pubic bone each time. Then I begin to use him in earnest, pushing up and sliding down, over and over.

  His jaw tightened, and his fingers linked with mine, giving me support to lift and drop. I closed my eyes, relishing the feel, the stretch, the passing of his cock over my delicate tissues.

  “That’s right, darlin’. Feel it. Let it take you. Soar.”

  I did, flying from the tallest of cliffs, screaming as the orgasm hit me. Nash pulled me down and our lips collided together as he continued to buck into me.

  More oil was poured onto my backside, and one hand rubbed it into my flesh while the other moved to the back of my neck, holding me down.

  Nash’s tongue explored my mouth, as fingers explored my ass, circling the tight pucker of muscle there.

  “Relax, baby.”

  Exhaling into Nash’s mouth, I attempted to do as Grant said, even as my every muscle wanted to tighten. When his finger breached the entrance, I groaned. But it wasn’t from pain. Not exactly. With Nash’s thick cock inside me, the entrance of Grant’s finger increased the internal pressure, filling me up.

  And I knew there was more to come.

  As much as I was nervous about this, I was excited about it too.

  I wanted to know. I wanted to know the feeling, whether pain or pleasure, or both.

  Grant withdrew his finger, his knuckle skimming along the overly sensitive nerves, and with that motion, I got a glimpse of why people liked sex this way. Ripples of pleasure shot through me, but then they stopped as he penetrated me again.

  In. Out.

  Pain. Pleasure.

  When he added a second finger, the feeling intensified by large degrees.

  Nash’s hands moved to my face, and I looked into his blue eyes. “Breathe, darlin’. You’re gonna be flyin’ again soon.”

  I tried as Grant twisted his fingers, scissoring me, stretching me wider. Getting me ready for this new experience, all while Nash soothed my shoulders, kissed me, thrusting into me, giving me pleasure from below.