The Choice

by Alice Ward

  At the makeup table, I took off the flesh-colored mask I wore during the day to switch it to the black one. Without cosmetics or something covering it, the jagged, puckered gash was deep and gnarled and a shock even to me each time I uncovered it. I’d needed more plastic surgery to repair it to something that was even passable. Looking on the bright side for the first time in forever, I decided I could scare kids on Halloween, like something out of a horror movie. I made a snarly face in the mirror and growled, then laughed at myself. Roman hadn’t seen my face, or he’d probably have run as soon as he had.

  I shrugged. Any man would have to accept me as I was now. I couldn’t be anyone else. Still, tears pressed against the backs of my eyes and I quickly returned the mask to its place.

  Just then, Brandy burst through the door. Tonight, she was all smiles and lightness. “How’s it going, Ady?” The room filled with her sweet, clingy perfume. She was dressed in a short, perfectly tailored off-the-shoulder dress that lifted her breasts out so far, I wondered if her purpose was to tempt clients to grab them.

  “Please be careful. It’s Mona.” God forbid Glory overhear her out in the hall. “It’s going okay,” I answered quietly, waiting for the ball to drop.

  “Glad you came in. You had me worried, tensions were pretty high last night.” She didn’t look at me while she spoke, just pulled one of the sexier outfits down from the rack.

  It was made of a nearly sheer gold fabric that had a purplish hue, and not much to go under it besides a G-string.

  “I don’t like that one,” I told her as I brushed through my thick dark hair.

  “And you never wear it, so you’ve got to wear it tonight. The rest of the dresses are going to the cleaners.” She laid the flimsy dress across the back of my chair.

  I shook my head in disdain, and hoping to appeal to her inner beauty queen, said, “It clashes with the red highlights in my hair.”

  But she still didn’t look at me, instead focusing on the bottles on my makeup table. “You’ll be happy to know…”

  Oh, god…

  “I’ve had another offer from Mr. Wellington. He’s in the theater this evening.”

  My heart leaped then stuttered and died in my chest. He’d only touched my hand last night, kissed my hand, but my dream had been so real that I could almost feel his hands on my body now. If I took him as a client tonight, I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep my guard up. I’d become a whore. I shook my head, but inside, I wanted to say yes. Please, yes. “No. I won’t take him.”

  Brandy laughed. “I figured you’d say that, but all he did was talk last time. He wants another chance to talk with you. He’s offered seventy-five thousand for you tonight. This time, he gets more than five questions, which I think is totally fair.”

  “And what does that include?” I struggled to take off my brace and put tights on.

  “Nothing you don’t want it to. Mona, the money is so good. And he’s a gentleman. There’s nothing wrong with talking.” Her voice was soft and encouraging, too much so. It made my fingers pause in the act of stretching the tights over my thighs. “Just do it. You won’t have compromised anything, but you’d be an idiot to turn down money like this. We both know you need it.”

  She helped me back into my brace and I did everything in my power not to go giddy with relief. She was right, I couldn’t pass up the money, especially now when I needed some financial security to buy me time while I figured things out. And, if I were honest with myself, I was thrilled to be able to see Roman again.

  I wanted to see the way his eyes warmed when he looked at me, and get lost in just being in his presence. I didn’t care if my heart shattered when he found out what I really looked like. I wanted one more night… just one more night of fantasy. I’d be careful, wouldn’t let him touch me.

  I looked down at Brandy and gave a tiny smile. “Just one more time,” I whispered and used the excitement of Roman to ride me over into the subject that would be a disagreement. “And on my terms again. You have to tell him that I’m not on the menu, no touching.” Though the thought of his hands on me made my breathing speed up. My eyes darted to hers from behind the mask and I took a deep, stabilizing breath. “Then we have to discuss my termination date.”

  Brandy finished helping me with my brace and kissed me on the cheek. “Let’s put a pin in that for the moment. You’re being hotheaded. Don’t make any rash decisions. You could make a lot of money here, have security.”

  “I had security before and look what it got me. Eff security. I want out of here,” I said, wrenching my leg away from her. “It’s not where I belong.”

  She stood up and stared down at me, fists on hips. “And where the fuck do you belong, Adara? We’re family, right? I saved your ass, got you a job here.” Her skin flushed red as her perfectly crafted persona started to crack.

  “You know I’m thankful for that, Brandy. But I won’t prostitute myself.”

  “The fuck you’re thankful,” she scolded, her anger palpable. “You hold yourself above everyone, above me.”

  “Brandy, that’s not true. I don’t want—”

  I took in a long breath, not wanting to argue. What was wrong with her? She sounded jealous and like she hated me.

  “Well, after this meeting with Mr. Wellington, I’m sure you’ll come to your senses.” She brushed a lock of my hair away from my face, her eyes welling with tears. “It has to be done.”

  A spider of apprehension crawled up my spine. “What has to be done, Brandy? What’s going on?”

  She shook her head. “Nothing. Tonight will give you a little money, and that’ll feel good. I love you, just don’t forget that.” She sniffed and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Go knock ‘em dead.”

  “This dress could do that all by itself,” I grumbled as I struggled out of the dressing chair and into the hideously indecent dress.

  Brandy stood at the door for a long moment. My heart sped up. Something really was wrong, but I didn’t have time to consider it. I only had fifteen minutes to curtain. I’d talk to Brandy after I saw Roman. Maybe it was just the excitement of seeing Roman again, my body was a bundle of nerves.

  Brandy blew me a kiss as I put on the black cape. “Break a leg,” she whispered and disappeared into the hall.

  I tucked my hand inside the pocket of my cape to hide my phone and felt the cool sleekness of Roman’s business card inside. A wave of peace washed over me.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Roman

  As I walked into Jewel that night, I felt an all-consuming dread. I wanted to see the Butterfly again, craved it with every bone in my body, but meeting her here didn’t feel right.

  When my driver pulled up to the entrance, Duk was waiting for me. “I’m so excited. I couldn’t stuff crab in my face fast enough to get here. My client was probably wondering ‘what the hell?’” He puffed out his bulging middle and jiggled it like an Asian Santa Claus. His smile was so earnest and endearing, it was hard to believe he was rushing to get to a night of sex.

  I fought rolling my eyes, and as we entered the club reminded myself this was my own fault for introducing him to Jewel. I slapped his shoulder and fake laughed. “I’ve created a monster.”

  “So, you think you’ll go for a little more of the same tonight?”

  I thought making light conversation would settle my nerves, but his words just made me as anxious to get to the night as he was. Briefly, I wondered if Jack Marshall would cause me any trouble, but since they’d booked my reservation earlier I wasn’t too worried.

  “Not a little of the same,” he said before I could answer. “A lot of it!” He laughed heartily, then eyed the black jewelry box I hadn’t realized I’d pulled out of my pocket and was fingering. An expression of shock crossed his face. Duk had spent enough time around me to know that I didn’t dole out gifts spur of the moment. “Ahh, you want more than some hanky panky?”

  “It’s a thank you of sorts, I guess.” But he was right. I wanted more. Just what, I was
n’t sure. Feeling awkward, I swallowed back the sharp bubble of fear that threatened to thrash my confidence, but choked and ended up hacking all the way to our table as we followed the hostess.

  “We should get you some water,” Duk offered, then stuck out his hand and hooked the cocktail waitress midstride.

  She was a different server than the one we had last night, a way too young woman with long blonde hair. She giggled but the laugh didn’t reach her eyes. “Mr. Soo, is there anything I can get for you right away?” Her voice was just as melodic and measured as our previous cocktail waitress.

  I couldn’t imagine the extensive schooling the women who worked here must’ve gotten before they were deemed ready for service. Suddenly, I felt like a pervert just entering this room.

  “Mr. Wellington needs a glass of water or something wet, and I’d like a whiskey.” He leaned into me. “You want to place your order for tonight?”

  I felt my eyes widen and shook my head. I wanted to see her, but Duk’s behavior was completely wrong. I wouldn’t “place an order” for her when I’d barely made it in the door. They both took my nonverbal answer as that I couldn’t speak, and I didn’t correct them.

  The cocktail waitress returned with Duk’s whiskey and my water, which I sipped on until a tall, beautiful woman in a dark suit approached.

  “Good evening, gentlemen. I’m Juno, your hostess for this evening’s entertainment.” She smiled with the precision of a beauty contest winner.

  My heart sank, seeing she wasn’t the same woman who’d attended us last night. If we’d had the same hostess, it would make things a little bit less uncomfortable.

  “Do you have the book? I want to see the book.” Duk flicked his hand at me. “He wants the same, but I like variety.”

  “Of course, Mr. Soo. Let me show you to your seats in the theater. Your catalog for the evening is waiting there for you.” She turned gracefully and paused long enough for us to follow her inside the theater.

  Once inside, my eyes took in the room, landing first on Jack Marshall seated a couple of rows ahead of us to the right. Rage spiked through my system. I knew how ridiculous I was being. It was his club, and he had every right to be here every night of the week if he wanted.

  As I sat, I watched our hostess from the night before serve him. I immediately felt protective of the young woman and knew Jack wouldn’t be kind. It wasn’t his style. She might’ve been making good money in his company, but it would come at a high cost. Anger sparked through me again when he grabbed her ass as she left the table. Another beautiful woman subjected to his lecherous advances. She must’ve known what she was getting herself into, though, what woman who worked here didn’t?

  I couldn’t save them all, I reminded myself. I was only here to rescue one.

  Duk flipped through The Book of Delights, looking at all the women up for offer tonight like they were entrees in a menu.

  I had to focus on something other than the way Jack was fondling his server’s thigh, so I engaged Duk in conversation. “Is your dream girl in there?” I teased.

  “Yep, she’s right here, but look at this one. Doesn’t she look nice?” He pointed to a voluptuous blonde and his eyes widened. “She wasn’t in here last time.”

  I shook my head. “You’re nuts, Duk. What does your wife say to all of this?” I knew it was a bold and unprecedented move on my part. We’d never spoken of his wife before.

  “No problem.” His smile grew wider. “We’re getting a divorce.”

  I grunted. “Well, by all means then, have both.” I nudged his arm with my elbow.

  He chuckled, and he waved our hostess over. “Can I ask you some questions, about who you think might be best?” Duk was so eager to have his perfect evening it was embarrassing.

  “It’s up to your personal preferences, Mr. Soo,” she responded, perfectly poised and attentive, without asking what those were.

  “Well, when it says here…” He pointed to some of the more challenging sexual vocabulary.

  While he was being educated by our poor hostess, I considered finding the door the Butterfly’d exited from last night and waiting for her to arrive. I knew she walked from another building to the theater each night, and I assumed she probably used the same one on her way in. I had to see her, the real her, not the woman who played the part of the Butterfly. I stood up and was about to excuse myself when Juno stopped me.

  “What can I help you with this evening, Mr. Wellington?” Her eyes sparkled a little too brightly.

  My eyes shifted to the door, and I resigned myself to missing my chance to see her. A heavy sigh escaped me and caught the hostess’s attention.

  “Is there no one who peaks your interest, sir?” Again, she flashed the perfect smile, which reminded me of a character from any number of creepy horror movies. Ones where the lead character was sucked in by the innocence and ease of the hostess, who was planning on leading him to his slaughter.

  I cleared my throat and took the chance that I would appear to be as lewd and disgusting as Duk. It would be worth it for a moment alone with the mysterious singer. “Last night, I spoke with the singer who goes by the name Butterfly. I wanted to know if I could see her again tonight.” I didn’t know why my palms were sweating and I was having trouble breathing. Business transactions were my specialty, but I was unraveling.

  “Of course, Mr. Wellington. I know you met with her last night, let me inquire for you.”

  “Also, do you mind delivering this to her?” I tried to appear detached and casual as I handed her the black velvet box.

  “He wants to marry her.” Duk laughed hilariously, already a step toward being drunk.

  I made eye contact with the young woman and shook my head, pretending to be shocked by what Duk had suggested.

  She nodded, understanding my discomfort. “I’ll make sure she gets this.”

  “I’ll pay whatever she wants, on her terms.” I flashed a dashing grin, hoping she didn’t think I was some kind of freak with fetishes. Of course, she’d probably think I was a freak if I didn’t.

  “I’ll see what I can do. After the manager has made arrangements for the patrons this evening, I’ll give her your offer. Is there anything else you need?” She inclined her head, waiting for our requests.

  “I’m good.” I was a wreck. “Actually, I’ll take a bourbon.”

  Duk ordered another drink and the lights dimmed, giving the five-minute warning. The show was about to start. My heart slammed against my chest, rattling my ribs.

  I felt the heat of someone’s gaze on my neck, the uncomfortable feeling when you know someone’s watching you. I glanced over in Jack’s direction. He stared back at me with his black penetrating eyes, arms crossed over his bloated belly. He didn’t break eye contact, and I knew he was trying to provoke me.

  I’d humiliated him, so he was seeking a retaliation. Well, he wasn’t going to get a reaction out of me. As long as he kept his distance, he could keep his dignity. I wondered for a second if he could be behind the internet article like Peter had suggested, but dismissed it and him from my mind. I could wonder all day long, but in the world of anonymous trolls, I’d probably never know for sure.

  I avoided his gaze by pretending to look at the catalog. The pages were filled with beautiful women, and I was shocked that I’d never felt out of place here before, that the fact that these women sold themselves to the highest bidder had never bothered me.

  There were only a few minutes until curtain when a waitress walked up behind me. “Mr. Wellington, this is for you.”

  I turned, hopeful the Butterfly had already given her affirmative answer.

  Her head tilted in Jack’s direction. “It’s from Mr. Marshall with his compliments. There’s a private message inside.” She set a martini glass before me with a folded cocktail napkin, along with the bourbon I’d ordered.

  I unfolded the napkin to reveal a note that simply said, You should have reserved her earlier.

  What had he done? Had he pul
led strings and booked ahead with the Butterfly? I couldn’t let him be alone with her. But what could I do?

  When I glanced up at him, he bellowed out a laugh that was loud enough to rouse the other patrons’ curiosity. The way he leaned over to the other men nearby and one of them looking immediately right in my direction told me Jack was talking about me. Then the man’s expression changed to one of shock and concern. God only knew what he was telling the man about me.

  I wanted to go over there and rip him out of his chair, smash my fist into his face. Instead of giving the crowd a show, I met his eyes and pushed his glass to the other side of the table, balling up the napkin and tossing it on the floor. I felt like I’d just called a duel, like I’d spit on the ground in front of Jack. I wouldn’t let him win.

  At that moment, the lights went out and the show began. Buzzing on the rush of adrenalin and bourbon, I waited impatiently for her voice to fill the room. Then the beauty of her haunting song eased its way into my soul as she soared high above us, wearing next to nothing.

  I felt excited knowing I had another chance to connect with her tonight, but also concerned that she was in a position that she had to bare nearly everything for the act.

  I stared up toward the ceiling, watching her twirl and sing. Ignoring the dancers on stage and their grotesque display of sexuality, I focused all of my attention on the magic she was creating. She glanced down, and it couldn’t have been my imagination that our eyes met. A quick smile flickered over her lips then she focused on the stage again. The spotlight followed her as she flew from one end of the stage to the other.

  Her voice felt so strangely familiar as she sang the first melody. It was a sad song, sung in English this time, about lost love and moving on. She sang it with such feeling that it made me think she had experienced every word. As she ended and launched into a happier tune, I was sure she wiped tears away.

  Suddenly, I just wanted to be in the same room with her again. I wanted to hold her. Kiss her until those tears were the furthest thing from her mind.