by Vivian Arend
Joel ignored the question of Vicki for a minute, because what he wanted didn’t seem possible. “Jesse hates my guts right now.”
“So?”
Shit. “Didn’t expect that response.”
His cousin shrugged. “You need his approval to live your life?”
“Hell, no. Just seems as if he could not want to follow me and still get along. Instead he’s cut himself off from the entire family. I’ve lost my brother.”
“You haven’t lost him, he’s chosen to run off and be an ass.” Gabe paused. “You can’t blame yourself for others’ actions. You can’t fix them unless they want to be fixed, and even then they have to do the changing, not you. It’s a tough lesson, Joel, but it’s real.”
Joel pondered that for a minute. He’d been trying his best to be forgiving. He hadn’t given up on connecting with his brother even while he was damn pissed for the way Jesse had treated Vicki. Some day he hoped they’d be able to mend that situation. But he wasn’t going to change to make Jesse happy, which kind of meant, right now, Jesse wasn’t going to be happy. As sad as that truth was, it seemed to be the only choice.
But Vicki?
“I don’t want her to go,” he confessed.
Gabe stared over the table. “Then don’t. I mean, don’t let her go without telling her.”
“Asking her to stay somewhere she hates is damn selfish. I don’t want her to give up her dream.”
“What if you’re part of her dream? Why would you deny her, and yourself, everything you could have?”
Joel played with his empty glass. “There’s no easy solution.”
Gabe cleared his throat. “Not when you try to find the answers all by yourself, idiot.”
His raised brow was the final punctuation mark Joel needed to light the fucking fire under his ass. Good grief, Gabe was right. And Joel was wrong, in so much of what he’d focused on over the past two months.
He threw money on the table as he shoved his chair back. “You mind if I run out on you?”
Gabe shook his head. “Nothing to mind. Go get her, tiger.”
Joel pushed through the doors of Traders, his brain whirling with possibilities.
He and Vicki had started this with three goals. The first had been met beyond their expectations. The second, well, he’d learned small-town gossip refused to let up completely, but it was time to finish up the third with a bit of flair. Maybe he wouldn’t have to lose the best thing that had ever happened to him.
Only if he wanted to do it right in the short time he had remaining, it was going to take a little planning…
Chapter Twenty-Six
Joel’s cryptic voice mail had said nothing more than he wanted to meet her by the river at nine.
Vicki fought her sadness. Her life was packed into a shockingly small pile of boxes and the two panniers of clothing for her bike.
It seemed the final days of living in her hometown should be faced with more fanfare. Things still weren’t perfect, and her family continued to haunt her. The past memories burned, and the current snide comments and the accusations she didn’t deserve had slowed but not vanished.
Add in the icy-cold reception she’d gotten from Jesse Coleman the few times she’d been unlucky and met him while on her own, God, it was enough to make her crazy.
Even running into Eric Tell and having him pass by without attempting to rile her up wasn’t as sweet with the bitter taste of Jesse and Joel’s ruined relationship flavouring everything.
Getting out of Rocky was the only way to save herself and Joel more pain. It was as if she were cutting out her heart and leaving the best of her behind, though.
She’d debated this over and over. Saying something about how she felt would be horrid, and like hell would she give any indication she was dying inside. Two more days until she turned her bike north and left forever.
The tears she wiped from her eyes were the only weakness she’d allow.
She taped the lid of the final box. Wrote a note to Hope who had offered to store the boxes in the shed at her and Matt’s place. Hope hadn’t said anything in condemnation when Vicki had told her she was leaving, only her eyes had looked volumes. As if the woman knew this wasn’t what Vicki really wanted, no matter how much the words from her mouth insisted it was.
If Joel had been her first real best friend, Hope had become her first girlfriend. They hadn’t spent many nights together in the apartment before Hope and Matt got married, but enough that Vicki was going to miss her. And she felt like crap for not having shared more about her plans in the first place.
Another reality of having people you considered family? She’d hurt others without intending to.
She pulled the apartment door shut after her. Hope and Matt would grab the boxes later that night. Now, all she had were Saturday and Sunday in Rocky before her life changed for good. Joel had asked her to spend them with him.
One final weekend in his arms. It wasn’t just the sex they would share, it was him. Being with him, having him near. There was no way she could refuse the invitation even though she should have. She would have to hide her emotions the entire forty-eight hours.
She took the steep stairs down from the second-story apartment and made her way to her bike.
A bouquet of wildflowers was strapped to the handlebars.
Vicki stood without moving for a full minute before she threw the panniers into position and reached for the card poking from the foliage.
I’ve never given you flowers and that’s something a boyfriend should do. Hope you like them. See you at the river? I have one more surprise.
It wasn’t safe riding with tears in her eyes, but she had no choice.
His truck was pulled to the right of the tree where they’d first met so long ago. She parked to the side, not worrying this time about hiding her wheels.
The entire lanky length of him stepped out from behind the vehicle, and she soaked in the sight.
He waited until she’d removed her helmet before coming over and picking her up. Bodies meshed close as she gave in and let herself enjoy being in his arms. Once more savouring his strength as he held them together, their mouths connected, tongues and lips battling hungrily.
Vicki wrapped her legs around him, the strong muscles of his torso so familiar now, so wonderful to touch. She pulled back and sighed. “Hey, you.”
He stared into her eyes, and for a moment she forgot how to breathe. “Thanks for coming.”
They stood there, not talking. Not kissing or anything, yet unable to turn away from each other. She forced out a whisper. “This is crazy. You should put me down.”
Joel nodded and lowered her. “Sorry. I’m a little distracted.”
“Me too.”
Joel tilted her chin with a stroke of his fingers. “Hey. No long faces. You did it. You did the most important thing you set out to do.”
Yeah, she had. She’d also done what she’d never intended. She’d fallen in love.
“Thanks to you.” Vicki accepted the hand he held out. “So, you going to have a busy summer?”
Joel cleared his throat. “Before I answer that, I have to apologize.”
Vicki thought back, but couldn’t see why. “Umm, for what?”
He pointed toward her bike. “There were a couple things I missed. Like the flowers, and something else. And if we’re going to finish this, I have to make sure it’s done right.”
He talked so easily about things being over. Vicki pasted on a smile and forced herself to copy his nonchalance. She followed him around the tree. “Goofball. What else did you forget?”
He turned her to face the tree, tugging her body back to lean on him.
There was an enormous heart carved into the wide trunk, with Joel + Vicki filling the center of the space. The raw wood looked fresh, the marks recent.
She sucked for air, but none seemed to be available to fill her lungs. Joel stroked his hand down her side as he knelt behind her, creating a place for her to sit on his st
rong thigh. He turned her face toward him, cupping her cheek. “It’s supposed to be self-explanatory, but to make sure you don’t miss the message, I’ll say it as well. I love you.”
“Oh my God.” Vicki blinked back tears. “You do?”
“Like crazy. Completely, totally, head over heels.” He smiled, the sweet sexy version that made her knees shake and her body ache. “If you keep staring at me with those wide eyes of yours, not saying anything, I’m going to think I freaked you out forever.”
“You love me?”
Joel grinned. “Vicki, darling? You going to—?”
Maybe she was supposed to do something else, but there was no other response. She flung her arms around his neck and kissed him until she needed to let go or pass out from the stars spinning in her head.
When she leaned away, his grin had grown wider. “You got anything to say?”
“We’re insane. How can this be? What’s going to happen? I leave in two days, and oh my God, you love me?”
Joel held her face tenderly. “One step at a time. I’m not going to let you go anywhere until you say it. You do love me, don’t you? I didn’t imagine you feel the same as me?”
“You didn’t dream it up. I’m…how did you say it? Crazy about you. Totally and completely, head over heels.” She shook her head. “But this wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m moving away. I can’t cancel on Karen now. Not with the other last-minute changes she’s had to deal with.”
“I don’t want you to cancel. I think you should go work for the summer.” Joel rearranged her so she was curled up in his lap, his broad back leaning on the tree beside where he’d posted for everyone to see how he felt.
“You want me to leave you?”
“Oh hell, no. Part of me wants you to stay right here, close. Now that I’ve told you how I feel, I want to spend the next days and months and years saying it until it sinks in for real. Only…” He wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “Only…we’re young. We’ve got so much time ahead of us, and so many things to look forward to. Maybe, if you and I think about it together, we can figure out what’s right for both of us, now and down the road.”
Vicki’s heart pounded. “But you love me?”
He laughed out loud. “And you love me. That’s the starting point. Yes.”
“Fuck, yeah.” It was incredible, and yet there was so much rushing her brain right now. “I’m going to hate being away from you for the entire summer.”
Joel nodded. “I’ll miss you too, but you’re right. Karen needs you to keep your commitment. So I’ll come visit you on your days off.”
She sat in shock. “You’ll drive seven hours to visit me?”
“Hell, I’d drive farther than that. You’re worth it. And when the job is over, you can move back here, move in with me.”
A sliver of icy cold snuck into her happiness.
Jesse.
She stroked Joel’s cheek. “I know I’ve said this before, but I need to say it again. I’m sorry I came between you and your brother.”
Joel’s gaze traced her face. “And I’ll say it again as well—it wasn’t your fault. He and I had come to a crossroads. A place in our lives where things had to change, and if it hadn’t been you, it would have been something else. I still care about the jerk, but I don’t like what he’s become. I don’t think we should close the door on him if he wants to make things right. But he’s picked his path, and if I want him to respect our decisions, I have to respect his. As wrong and stupid and as bullheaded as he’s being.”
He was right, but the guilt remained. Doubts rushed in as she wondered how they’d deal with everything. “This is a dream…”
He pulled her closer, their torsos tight together until his warmth poured over her. “No, it’s one hundred percent real. And it’s still your choice, but hell if I could let you walk out of my life without telling you how I feel.”
Vicki followed the outline of the heart with a fingertip. “This is more than just telling me.”
“Okay, fine, I’m claiming you.” He smiled, stroking her arms as if he couldn’t get enough of touching her. “You can go away for a while, but you’d better enjoy your freedom because it’s the last time you get to be without me for the rest of your life.”
Everything was still a blur. “I keep thinking I’m going to wake up back at the empty apartment, and the past hour will have been nothing but my wishful imagination.”
“It’s real.” He tweaked her nose. “Darling, we’ve got so much to talk about, but we need to start with this. I want to be with you, but I’m tied up tight to the ranch for the next five years. I owe my parents that long at least to pay them back for college and everything else they’ve given me. Please tell me you can handle living in Rocky for a short while?”
Her stomach rolled, not from the idea of returning to the Coleman spread, but from him suggesting he would leave. “You don’t want to ranch?”
“I want to be with you.” His gaze drifted over the fields. She twisted to take it in, the land spreading toward the horizon in colours of golden brown and fading green, all topped by the cloudless blue sky. His fingers, firm yet gentle, turned her face to him, sincerity shining in his eyes as he spoke. “I love the land, Vicki, but I love you more. If Rocky is too full of bad memories and hurtful family for you to be happy here, we’ll move. It’ll be tough, but we’ll find a way to make a living somewhere else if that’s what we decide is best.”
That announcement was what broke through her final lingering disbelief. It was one thing for him to say I love you, but for him to be willing to sacrifice everything?
God.
Vicki swallowed around the lump in her throat. “I would never, ever want you to give up your home for me. Ranching is part of who you are, and part of why I love you.”
His grin flashed out. “It’s still a possibility, if we need it. Because this is about you and me now. Making a family together. And Lynn. I want to get to meet her again. Want her to be able to visit us wherever we settle.”
Vicki was going to break into a million pieces of happiness and start sparkling like a fucking rainbow or something. “You’re incredible, Joel Coleman. I love you so damn much.”
“Finally she says it like she means it. Now I can give you this…” He tugged her hand up and slipped something hard on her finger. “We can buy a different ring down the road, but since you’re leaving in a few days I hope you’ll wear it as a promise. And in terms of getting married—”
“Married?” Her heart was doing back flips.
Joel paused. “Did I freak you out? I guess I’m more old-fashioned than I realized. We can live together for as long as you want, but I mean this forever, Vicki. Not a whim, not something we’re doing because we’re trying to achieve a goal. Well, other than the goal of being in love.”
Vicki shook herself out of shock, lifted her hand and stared at what he’d put on her. “Your school ring. Wow, I never figured I’d get one.”
Joel raised his brows. “That’s another thing on the talk about list. You could finish your high school through correspondence, maybe even head to college for some classes if you’d like. I hear the local college has a decent cooking program.”
This was all happening too fast. “You serious?”
“If it’s important to you, we’ll find a way to make it happen.” He snuck a kiss, and she held on tight, loving the joy shining in his eyes. “We’ll have to stick to the basics for a while to be able to afford things, but together, we can do anything we put our minds to. You know that. Look at how well we dealt with the stinky, scary beasts.”
She tapped him with her fist, more in play than in earnest. “You stop that. They’re not so scary anymore.”
“But still stinky?”
“Hell, yeah.” She settled in tight, working her way under his arms so she could believe this was forever. That he never was going to let her go. “I love you, Joel. I really, really do. Thank you for everything you’ve done to make me a part of yo
ur family, and a part of your life.”
He squeezed her tight. “Think you kinda did a bit of it yourself, but you’re welcome.”
She rested, his heart beating steadily under her ear. The rhythm reminded her of the horse’s footfalls when Joel led Trigger in easy circles in the arena.
Having that kind of comparison come to mind was pretty amazing.
Something else came to mind. They might have a long time in front of them, but right now, the moments they had before she left were passing far too quickly. “You know, I love the flowers and the carving, but I think you owe me a few other lessons as well… Stuff you missed during our teaching sessions.”
Joel hummed lightly as he stroked her hair, the spring breeze playing over them as they admired the countryside rolled out below them. “What you figure we’re still missing?”
“Well, we ain’t never had sex in the back of your truck, for one—”
“Hell, yeah.” Suddenly, she wasn’t sitting comfortably. Nope, she was in mid-air, her gut landing on his shoulder as Joel shot to his feet.
“Joel,” Vicki gasped as he jogged around the corner toward his truck. She laughed as he jerked down the tailgate then lowered her to the bed. “You goof.”
“Time’s a wasting.” He reached behind her into the truck carry box and yanked out a thick horse blanket. “Strip, darling.”
She did, he did, clothes flying everywhere with the enthusiasm of youth and the ticking of a deadline. He had her calling his name faster than she’d imagined possible, his hands and tongue and cock driving her past the point of no return.
He hung over her, both of them breathing hard, bodies still connected. “That’s a fine lesson. What to do with a naked woman in the back of your pickup.”
Vicki lifted her hand and wiggled her finger in his face. “I’m not naked. Not anymore. Always going to have something on.”
He nuzzled her neck, and she sighed, the sound turning into a moan as he latched on below her ear and started all over.
She’d never have to be alone, ever again. Not really. Not when she carried his love inside wherever she went.
