by Tiana Laveen
She was saddened and perplexed. She went to her dressing room and sat down, looking into the mirror for a solid ten minutes.
She wasn’t sure what to think of herself or of what took place. A knock came at the door.
“Monica, it’s Lisa. May I come in?”
“Yes.” Monica blew her nose as the door opened.
“I want to tell you again how great you did. We could really see the passion you and Antonio were expressing. No doubt about it, you two work wonderfully together. You have great chemistry.”
“Is he OK? He seemed agitated?” Monica desperately wanted to find out what Lisa knew about Antonio’s unexplained departure. Lisa looked down, smiled, then looked back up at Monica. She sat down in one of the chairs.
“Monica, Antonio’s a professional. He always follows a predictable flow and plays by the book. He has a huge fan base because of some characteristic moves he has that the customers enjoy, like his oral skills, for instance. He’s known for that. I think you got the best of him today. He seemed to come out of character with you. It’s not like he can deny it. We all saw it happen,” Lisa sighed.
“I don’t think he expected to respond that way to you, and maybe he needs to regroup. No worries.” Monica nodded and smiled, but she was still concerned. Lisa left, leaving Monica alone with her own thoughts.
* * *
“Mommy, what’s ‘ringworm’?” Simone asked as she played with a red crayon. Monica stood in her kitchen mixing cake batter.
“What? What in the world made you ask that, Simone?”
Simone picked up an indigo crayon and scribbled all over a drawing from a coloring book.
“Some boy at school has it.”
“Well, it’s something you don’t want. It goes away, though,”
Monica reassured. The doorbell rang.
“Who in the world could that be at this hour?” Monica wiped her hands on her apron and looked through the peephole. She couldn’t believe her eyes. It was Antonio. He was looking down at his feet. His hands were buried in his pockets. Monica looked around her apartment.
“It’s a mess in here,” she thought to herself.
“Hey, Simone, Baby. Take your crayons and book and finish in your room, OK?”
“But I don’t want to go to my room, Mommy.”
“Simone, don’t make me ask you again,” Monica said, her voice slightly raised. Simone balled her face up, gathered her things, and stomped to her room. Monica waited until she heard her daughter’s bedroom door close. She hadn’t seen nor heard from Antonio since he left the set. That was four days ago. She took a deep breath then opened the door.
“Hello,” he smiled. “I know it’s late, but may I come in?”
Monica ushered him inside.
“I was making a cake for my daughter. They’re having a bake sale tomorrow.”
“Oh, what kind?” Antonio asked as he sat down on the couch.
“According to your camera crew it should be a bundt cake.
It’s just a yellow cake with white icing.” Monica rolled her eyes.
Antonio laughed.
“I heard about that.”
“Yeah? Why weren’t you there in person to hear it?” Monica asked. Antonio sighed loudly.
“Yeah, about that – I’m sorry.” Monica sat down next to him.
“What happened? I felt all alone.” Antonio took her hand.
“Monica, I’ve been doing this for almost eight years now.
I’m considered a veteran for all intents and purposes. Because of my line of work, I don’t have long-lasting relationships. It’s a very lonely life at times. I treat it like a business because it’s my livelihood. I love my house, I have a couple of nice cars and a good life, but it gets lonely. After a while, you can turn off your emotions and just do your job. Sex doesn’t feel like sex anymore; it just becomes one more chore on your list – one more thing you do to pay the bills. When we were filming, I didn’t follow protocol. That’s very unlike me. It bothered me.” He looked at her with seriousness all over his face.
“Why?” Monica asked. “Lisa said that many of the customers are couples. I think they’d appreciate some spontaneity.”
“That’s true for some, but most like the protocol. They want a predictable situation that they can jerk off to, practice with, or do whatever it is they intend. I’ve built a reputation and do a few different routines, but it’s the same pattern. The fact that I deviated showed that something was going on with us, as you mentioned.”
“Does that make you uncomfortable?” Monica asked, taking Antonio’s hand.
“Not so much uncomfortable – just needing to figure out why I got so close to you. It didn’t feel like work or a chore. It felt like…”
“…we were making love?” Monica finished.
“Yes, well, did you hear the news?” Antonio asked.
“What news?” she questioned.
“Our video’s online and has had a record number of downloads. It’s now the most downloaded video in the company’s history.
“Oh, my God! Are you for real, Antonio?” Monica put her hands up to her face.
“Yes, I am. Go ahead and read some of the comments.”
Antonio pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Monica. She unfolded it and read: This new chick’s smokin’
hot. Antonio’s really giving it to her good and she throws it right back. – G.H. from Houston
What’s the Black girl’s name? She’s nice-looking. Is this Antonio’s girlfriend? They look like a couple. – Sara from Palm Springs
Monica glanced at Antonio who was looking down at his shoes as she read.
Antonio is super sexxxy as usual. He’s really stuffing that cinnamon honey good with his big Italian sausage. – Dan and Pam in NY City
This has got to be his real lady. Look how they’re looking at each other. This is totally not like him. He’s in love with this broad. I don’t know whether to be happy for him or cry. –
Francesca, Venice, Italy
Monica stopped reading and handed Antonio the piece of paper back.
“Well, this is good! We were believable at least, right?” she asked.
“How did this happen?” Antonio abruptly stood up. “I don’t want to be in love and definitely not with you.” Monica was mortified.
“What are you talking about? And what makes you think that I’m such a terrible person to fall for?” she asked, anger welling in her chest.
“No, no, I didn’t mean it that way, I’m sorry. I’m just saying that being in love leaves me vulnerable and causes problems.
What I meant by you was that you have a lot going on and don’t need this right now. You have a child, you’re in school, and now you’re getting a cult following because of this.” Monica wasn’t sure what to say. She walked back into the kitchen and stirred the batter. Antonio came into the kitchen, his hands shoved back into his pockets.
Monica looked up at him, her reflection dancing in his amber eyes. He walked up to her, standing behind her, putting his tan hand over hers. She looked at the contrasting colors and smiled.
Monica stirred. He stirred with her.
“Patty cake, patty cake,” he teased. Monica laughed. He dipped his finger into the batter and touched her nose with it.
“No, you didn’t,” she giggled.
“Oh, yes I did, girlfriend!” he mocked. She turned around to him to return the favor, but instead planted a kiss firmly on his lips. She looked up breathlessly at him. He kissed her back, shoving her into the kitchen counter then hoisting her up onto it.
He tugged her pants down and abruptly pushed her panties aside.
He urgently unzipped his pants, grabbed his member and glided inside her. Monica moaned, welcoming him. She laid the bowl on the counter and braced herself as he pumped in and out of her love, cradling his head on her shoulder. Antonio removed her shirt, dipped his finger in the batter, and covered her nipples. He then lowered himself on her, sucking
her nipples, making her moan loudly.
“Oh, God, stop! You’re going to make my daughter come out here and catch us!” Antonio continued for a few more strokes.
He picked her up off the counter and carried her.
“OK, I think we better relocate since a little one’s in the house.” Monica pointed to an open door. They went inside.
There Antonio saw several photos of her daughter and a photo of whom he presumed was her boyfriend. He abruptly finished undressing and watched Monica do the same.
“What are we doing?” Monica asked. She could see Brian’s photo over Antonio’s shoulder.
“We – we’re doing what – couples do. Don’t try to make sense of this. I can’t. I just have to follow it. I don’t know how this happened, but I know I’m falling in love with you.” He placed Monica on the bed, moving the books out of the way.
Cradling her head in his arms, he mounted her gently. He pushed deep inside, making her cry out. She wrapped her arms around his neck. His olive skin intertwined with her caramel skin. They looked like grape vines. He continued on and on until they both came at the same time.
“OK, OK,” Antonio panted. “This is real. This is really happening.” Monica lie on her back, panting.
“Yes, it is.”
“I’m falling in love with my coworker. This is just crazy.
How did I let this happen? It doesn’t matter. It’s happening, and I can’t do anything about it.” Antonio babbled.
“How do you think I feel?” Monica sat up, pinching her nipples. “I didn’t even want this job. I did it because I had bills to pay. Then I end up having a great time, cheating on my boyfriend, and falling in love with some White man. Maybe we’re just in lust, not love,” Monica grimaced.
“You can’t cheat on someone that you’ve already broken up with. He’s not coming home, Monica.” Antonio turned her towards his photo.
“I’m very sorry about what happened. Please don’t get me wrong, but you know the truth in your heart. Don’t use that as an excuse. And so what that I’m White. Like I told you, close your eyes until you can get over it,” he said, slightly hurt.
“I wasn’t trying to insult you. I’m sorry.” Monica leaned into his chest.
“It’s not lust. I get plenty of sex. You should know better. I know the difference, and so do you,” Antonio said. Just then there was a knock at the bedroom door, and the knob was turning.
“Oh, shit! Cover yourself.” Monica wrapped herself in the sheets while Antonio hid his private area with a pillow.
“Mommy, who’s that?” Simone asked. “I heard noises.”
“Oh, it’s OK, Honey. This is just a friend from work.”
“You and him sounded like you and Daddy used to in here.”
Simone rubbed her eyes sleepily.
“Baby, it’s way past your bedtime. Go to your room and I’ll read you a story,” Monica offered nervously.
“What’s your name?” Simone asked, ignoring her mother.
“Antonio. I like your name, Simone. I’d like to maybe take you to the park someday, with your Mommy’s permission of course.” Simone smiled.
“You’re cute!” she looked away shyly then back up at him.
Antonio smiled.
“Thank you. So are you!”
“Mommy, he looks like Prince Naveen from 'The Princess and the Frog.'”
“I love that movie!” Antonio laughed.
“So do I, Andoneeoh!” Simone tried to say his name. They all started laughing. Monica looked at Antonio and whispered,
“OK, cut it out. Stop talking to her. She’ll never leave!” Antonio nodded.
“Hey Simone, why don’t you go in your room, and your mother and I’ll come out and read you a story together,” he smiled.
“OK!” Simone closed the door. Monica sighed with relief, letting the sheets fall down from her chest. The bedroom door abruptly swung back open.
“Oh, God!” Monica screamed reaching for the sheets again.
“Mommy, it’s OK. I know what you two were doing. Y’all were doing ‘the nasty’!” Simone squealed and closed the door, her tiny feet dashing back to her room. Monica jumped up and locked the door. Keeping her back towards it, she closed her eyes, sighed, and breathed deeply.
“She’s going to give me a heart attack!” Monica held her forehead. Antonio held onto his pillow, laughing so hard he started to cough.
“This isn’t funny!” Monica laughed. “Oh, my God. You just wait, Antonio. Wait until you have kids, and then you’ll see,”
she warned.
“I think I’ll be able to handle it.” He looked at her with a sly grin. They got dressed and read Simone a bedtime story. As she was dozing off, she pulled Antonio’s sleeve.
“Prince Naveen, are you going to marry my mommy?”
“Oh, ignore her!” Monica spat with embarrassment. “She doesn’t know what she’s saying.
She’s sleepy.” Antonio picked up Simone and sat her on his lap.
“I don’t know, Simone. I haven’t known your mommy long at all, but I do like her very much, though,” he added.
“Are you going to be my daddy?” Simone rubbed her eyes.
“Simone, you already have a daddy, and I’m sure he loves you a great deal. I’m sorry he’s not here right now. I can’t replace him, but I’ll be your friend if you and your mother want that. Is that OK with you?” Simone opened her eyes and nodded yes. Monica smiled as she watched Antonio tuck her daughter in her bed. They closed the door and walked into the kitchen where Monica made them some coffee.
“You’re really good with kids, Antonio. I’m impressed,” she said as she filled the pot with water.
“I grew up with lots of kids. I think they’re great. I hope to have some of my own someday,” he smiled. Monica smiled back and handed him an empty orange mug with a sunrise on it as they waited. They spent the next couple of hours watching cartoons and funny infomercials.
“Oh, my goodness. I forgot to finish making the cake!”
Monica suddenly exclaimed as she rubbed sleep out of her eyes.
She had fallen asleep on Antonio’s chest.
“I tell you what, I’ll run by the bakery and pick one up. I’ll drop it off then go on to work,” he volunteered. Monica froze.
“You have work today?”
“Yes, today I’m working on a movie where I’m like Crocodile Dundee. They have some stupid name like ‘The Lost Pussy Raiders,’” he chuckled. Monica’s jealousy rose and stuck like a lump in her throat. Antonio kissed her on the cheek and ran out the door with his car keys before she could even fully process what was said.
“Well, he’s a porn star, Monica,” she said to herself as she started washing dishes in the sink. “What did you expect?”
* * *
“Ahhh, shit!” screamed the buxom blonde. Antonio rode her from behind. The scene was set in a cave with a treasure chest and smoke. He had on a safari hat and lumber boots. His pants were pulled down to his ankles. He held her throat as he continued to pound her from the rear.
Monica checked the time on her cell phone.
“I have to hurry and get to class.” She ran into the front door of AAPP.
“Hi, Daisy!” she waved hurriedly at the redhead receptionist.
“I forgot something in my dressing room,” she said as she scurried by. Monica tried to figure out what set he was on. She looked at the film schedule for that week.
“Here it is – ‘Pussy Raiders,’” she said to herself. “Set C.”
Monica approached the set. She stood from afar, behind a group of crew members filming. She could see over one’s shoulder.
Her stomach began to fill with gas as queasiness set in. She watched as Antonio brutally fucked another actress.
“Monica, it’s only pretend. It’s not the same as when he and you are together,” she kept saying to herself. She felt her legs giving out, but regained her composure. Now Antonio had her legs in the air and was driving his
point home. Monica turned away.
“How can he do this?” she said out loud. A crew member turned around and looked at her.
“Oh, hey, Monica! Look at your friend! He’s a real pro!”
Monica ran to her car as fast as she could. She sat in front of the steering wheel and began to ball.
“I’m not going to be able to do this! I can’t have this relationship. I can’t be with someone that’s fucking other people.
I just can’t.” She drove to class, trying to push it out of her mind.
* * *
Two weeks later…
Monica put the check from her first movie to good use. She moved out of her small apartment and closer to her daughter’s school. She purchased new furniture and bought a dress that she had been eyeing for ages. She even paid her daughter’s tuition six months in advance.
“You can put that over here,” she told the furniture delivery man. She handed him a tip and a bottle of water as he left.
“Look at this!” she yelled out loud with a smile on her face.
“My new place is bad! Well, let me do Simone’s room first so that when she gets back from school, she’ll be set.” Just then her cell phone rang. She picked it up and heard Brian on the other end.
“Hi, Brian.” Monica was at a loss for words.
“Hi, Monica. Look, I need to talk to you. I know what’s been goin’ on. Word got back to me that some White dude’s been comin’ over to the crib, takin’ Simone to school sometimes and other shit,” Brian said in a monotone voice.
“Brian, I’m so sorry!” Monica sobbed into the phone. “It just...”
“Baby, stop it. You had to do what you had to do to take care of Simone, and you deserve a life, too. I’m not callin’ to chastise you. You know I’m never gettin’ outta here. It’s a wrap.
All I ask, and I need you to promise me this – all I ask is that you know for sure in your heart that he’ll take care of our baby.
I want you to be happy. If he’s a good guy, you have my blessing. You know this is killin’ me to do this, but I’m thinkin’
