Caroline came over with a bottle of water. Kneeling down beside him, she took off the cap and lifted it to his lips. "Here you go, Daddy," she said. "Don't talk anymore. You need to rest."
More tears came to Kate's eyes at the emotional scene. Caroline loved Duncan so much, in spite of everything.
"I don't know if I can ever forgive him," Ashley said quietly to Kate. "Apologies are fine and good, but what happens tomorrow when he picks up another drink?"
Kate couldn't give her an answer, because she didn't know. But she did know one thing: Life wouldn't be the same after this night. Sean knew the truth, and, turning her head, she could see that Tyler knew it, too.
* * *
Two hours later, Kate and her sisters tucked their father into Kate's bed, then returned to the living room where they collapsed on the nearest available sofa or chair. No one said anything for a long time. There had been too many words spoken already.
Sean had taken off as soon as they docked. Tyler had headed to the hotel in search of dry clothes. And the McKenna sisters had come home. As Ashley and Caroline looked at Kate, she knew it was her job now to say something wise and reassuring, but for the life of her she couldn't come up with a single thing. Who knew what would happen now that the awful truth was out in the open, and in front of a reporter, no less. The story could be all over the newspapers, sailing magazines, and online sailing chat rooms in twenty-four hours. Everyone would know that the McKennas had covered up the death of Jeremy Amberson. And if someone probed further, they might find other discrepancies, incidents of cheating that her father had tried to cover up. She hadn't been aware of that part of it until Jeremy had come onboard and mentioned to her that he thought Duncan was paying off crew members on the Betsy Marie to slow things down. She still didn't know if that was the truth or not; her father had been unwilling to ever admit to that, and no one had ever come forward. Perhaps K.C. still had something up his sleeve, something else they would have to face before this week was over.
Kate sighed wearily at the thought of more drama. She looked at the portrait hanging over the fireplace and saw her mother's smiling face. Nora McKenna looked beautiful, innocent, happy. What would she have thought of all this?
Her mother might not have been surprised. She'd lived with Duncan for almost seventeen years; she'd known her husband wasn't all good or all bad. But he'd been different with her, Kate thought. He'd changed after her mother's death, crossed lines that before he'd never crossed. Without Nora, without his anchor, he'd gone adrift.
What now? Would he change? Would this brush with death finally make him stop drinking? Would he see that it was time to stop racing, that he had to give up the glory days of the past, that he couldn't recapture them? He had to find some other way to be happy, but how? And would he even have the opportunity if the consequences of this night resulted in criminal or civil charges?
"What do you think will happen now?" Caroline asked, obviously reading Kate's mind.
"I have no idea.”
"I didn't mean to blurt it all out," Ashley said, a guilty expression on her face. "It just came out. I couldn't stop it."
"You wanted to tell Sean. You've wanted to tell him for a long time," Caroline said with her usual bluntness. "I knew you couldn't keep it in forever."
"I tried. And for eight years I succeeded. But tonight with the wind and the rain, all the memories, it just came out."
"I'm not blaming you," Caroline said "I'm kind of glad, in a way. It's almost a relief. Hopefully the consequences won't be too horrible."
"I suppose the race victory could be overturned, although it wasn't illegal for Jeremy to be onboard, but we did cover up his death," Kate said. "And I guess his death might be investigated as something other than an accident. If the other allegations of cheating and bribery come to light, then that will make what happened look more sinister."
"You don't think Dad could go to jail?" Caroline asked in alarm. "It was an accident. We know it was."
"Sean's family may not be so certain," Kate replied. She offered Ashley a sympathetic glance. "It won't be easy for him, Ash. Jeremy and Sean were very close. The whole family was. They're going to be furious with us, and rightly so."
Ashley nodded, her face tight, her mouth set in a grim line. "I know. We need to talk to Mr. and Mrs. Amberson as well as to Sean."
"Tomorrow," Kate said. "We'll do it tomorrow. Well do it together, the way we should have done before."
"I don't want Dad to go to jail," Caroline said again. "The rest of it I can handle. If we have to give back the trophy, who the hell cares? If we have to find a way to repay the money we won, we'll find a way to do it. But I don't want Daddy to go to jail."
"We'll do everything we can to make sure that doesn't happen." Kate pressed her fingers together, hoping it wouldn't go that far. Her father would never be able to survive such an experience. And in truth, he didn't deserve a jail sentence. He was a lot of things, but he wasn't a killer. Jeremy's death had been an accident. If she had ever believed anything else, she would have made sure her father had paid for it a long time ago. "One thing that surprised me tonight," she said, "was that the two of you blamed yourselves for what happened to Jeremy. Why didn't you ever tell me that before?"
"You never wanted to talk about any of it," Ashley said quietly. "And who could blame you? You were going to marry him. You had so many plans. Remember all those bridal magazines we bought at every port? Every time you took a break, you were poring over wedding dresses, flowers and cakes."
Kate remembered. After two years at sea, she and Jeremy had found each other again, just before the start of the Winston. For three weeks they'd been in the same port, and they'd discovered that the love they'd kept alive by phone calls during the past two years was just as strong as ever. Those three glorious weeks had been spent in love and laughter, and, just before the start of the Winston, Jeremy had asked her to marry him. They'd set the date for a month after the race. Their families and friends had been thrilled.
Actually, that wasn't true. Her father had not been happy at all. He liked Jeremy, but he had visions of the McKenna family racing into the history books. Kate had thrown him a bone by telling him that Jeremy would race with them after they were married; he would be a useful addition to the family and to the crew.
"You're thinking about Jeremy, aren't you?" Ashley asked quietly.
"Yes, I guess I am."
"I'm sorry I hurt you by kissing Jeremy that night."
Kate waved her hand dismissively. "I knew it was nothing, even then. Maybe momentarily I saw red, but I knew you and I knew him. The stress of the situation was getting to all of us." Kate turned to Caroline. "And just because Jeremy took off his safety harness to check on you, Caroline, doesn't mean you were responsible for him not putting it back on when he came on deck. Besides that, neither of you had anything to do with the argument between Jeremy and Dad. I'm the one who created the situation. If I hadn't asked Jeremy to come onboard, none of it would have happened."
"But he might have died that night, anyway, on the Betsy Marie," Caroline said. "Who knows what would have happened? If he would have survived along with K.C., or if he would have drowned with the others."
"I know what you're saying. I've thought of that a thousand times, but—"
"But it always has to be about you." Caroline gave Kate a smile that took the edge off her words. "Some things are just fate, accidents, circumstance. Some things you can't control, no matter how hard you try."
Kate let out a sigh. "Lord, what a long day it's been." She checked her watch and realized it was almost eleven o'clock. It was quieter now, too. Glancing out the window, she could see moonlight. The storm had passed as quickly as it had come.
"I could really use a drink right now," Caroline said. Then she added quickly, "Relax, Kate, I was thinking along the lines of some tea or hot chocolate with marshmallows."
"I agree." Ashley stood up. "I'll make the hot chocolate."
"I th
ink there are marshmallows in the cabinet," Kate said as her sisters headed toward the kitchen. "And cookies, too, if you're hungry."
Kate sat back in the chair as her sisters left the room. She needed to think about all that had happened. And she probably needed to start thinking about what to do next, how to deal with the consequences of their confession.
The doorbell rang, putting an end to her ruminations. She got to her feet, knowing it was Tyler even before she opened the door. She just didn't know what on earth they would say to each other now.
Tyler had changed into dry jeans and a gray sweater. His hair was still damp, his face red from a long day in the wind.
"Hi," she said softly, not sure how to greet him this time. "I didn't think you'd be back this soon."
"But you knew I'd be back," he said without smiling.
"I figured. Do you want to come in?"
"Where's your dad? Your sisters?" he asked as he stepped inside.
"My dad is asleep in my bed, and my sisters are foraging for food and drinks in the kitchen." She led him into the living room and took a seat on the sofa. She could hardly believe she'd made love to this man in this very room only twenty-four hours earlier. She'd lain naked in his arms, been as intimate with him as anyone in her life, but now he seemed almost a stranger. The day's events had put a distance between them that she wasn't sure how to cross. "I guess you finally got your story."
"I guess I did." He sat down on the chair by the coffee table and stared at her for a long moment. "Duncan told me about Jeremy. He even called me Jeremy at one point. He said we were a lot alike." He offered her a grim smile. "Of course, that didn't make me feel any better when I realized he'd shoved Jeremy overboard in the middle of a storm."
"It wasn't like that. It was an argument that got out of control."
Tyler leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Okay, let's say I buy that. Duncan gave Jeremy a shove, and he ended up in the water. In the confusion, Duncan was only able to save you, his daughter, and not Jeremy. A terrible choice for any father."
"Don't you think I've kicked myself a hundred times for jumping in that water? If I hadn't, if I'd kept my cool, maybe I could have gotten the line to Jeremy, or my Dad and I together could have found a way to save him."
"Not if he was unconscious, which he apparently was. He wouldn't have been able to grab a line. Your only hope was to jump in after him. You didn't have time to think about all that, but instinctively you knew it was the right thing to do. And very brave, too," he added quietly. "I can't even imagine having a woman love me enough to jump into a raging sea to save me. Jeremy must have been a hell of a guy."
"He was, but I would have gone in after you tonight, Tyler, if Sean hadn't done it. I let him because I thought he was stronger, and I didn't want to make the same mistake as the last time. I didn't want to cause a bigger problem, with Sean having to rescue me instead of you and Dad."
"I know you would have jumped in, Kate. Your bravery has never been in question." He paused. "Only your judgment. Why did you cover it up? Because your father cheated during the race? Because Jeremy had something on him? What? What was the reason?"
She could have told him that it hadn't started out as a cover-up, that they'd just let people believe what they already believed, that Jeremy had died going down on the Betsy Marie, but was that really the truth? Or just the truth she'd told to herself? Hadn't a part of her always known that things hadn't been done quite right, that if there was an investigation, her father might be in serious trouble?
"It was family loyalty," she replied finally. "I was afraid my father might go to jail."
"Because if the cheating came out, what was an accident could have looked like murder. So you chose to protect your father.”
"Yes, I did," she said fiercely. "Ashley and Caroline, too. I was the oldest. I had to watch out for all of us. And he was our father, the only parent we had left."
"How could you look Jeremy's parents in the eye? How could you look Sean in the eye, knowing what you knew?"
"Weeks passed before that happened. His parents were notified by the race officials long before we ever got home. In fact, they held Jeremy's funeral and placed his headstone before we sailed back into the harbor. They had come to terms with what happened, believing that he'd gone down with the Betsy Marie, that he'd died heroically trying to save others on the boat. The Mayday calls painted those sailors as heroes. It was easier to let it be, to leave it alone. It was too late to tell the truth. Jeremy was dead, whether he'd died off of our boat or not."
Tyler frowned. "Do you really believe that, Kate? Do you really believe you were right?"
She met his gaze and saw the sharp, ruthless pursuit of the truth in his eyes. "Not completely," she admitted. "But I wasn't thinking clearly at the time. I did love Jeremy. I was emotionally distraught when he drowned. I couldn't believe it at first. I thought it was a horrible nightmare. But I couldn't wake up, and every time I closed my eyes I saw Jeremy's head going under the water. I felt his hand slipping out of mine." She took a breath, emotion threatening to overwhelm her. "I've seen two people die, two people that I loved very much. I guess I didn't want to lose anyone else."
"Like your father?"
"Like my father," she agreed. "I can say I'm sorry, but it won't change the facts. I lied, whether it was by omission or not. I am sorry, though. I didn't realize how one lie could spiral so far out of control, how our lives would be forever influenced by that one hasty decision."
"You must have been worried that K.C. would recover his memory. He knew Jeremy hadn't been onboard his boat. That must have given you some sleepless nights. He could have recovered his memory at any time and blown the whistle on you all. In fact, your father thinks he does remember, that's why he's come back now."
"Then why hasn't he said anything?"
"I have no idea. Perhaps he's waiting for the right moment." Tyler paused. "Your father wanted to die out there tonight. He gave up. He knew you weren't going to race with him on Saturday, that he wouldn't ever get the Moon Dancer back. He was going to let us drown."
His words horrified her. "Oh, my God, Tyler! I had no idea. I just thought the storm came up too fast or he drank too much and couldn't get the sails going right. I didn't know he quit on you. That's a first. McKennas don't quit," she said with a bitter sadness. "You don't know how many times I've heard those words spoken."
"But you don't quit, do you?" Tyler sent her a hard look that she didn't understand.
"What do you mean?" she asked hesitantly, sensing his anger had just gone up a notch and not sure what had triggered it.
"I just want to know one thing, Kate. Why, after screwing up your own family, did you go looking to screw up someone else's family?"
Who are you talking about? Jeremy's family, the Ambersons?"
"No."
"Then who?" Kate asked in confusion. "I don't understand."
"I want to know why you went looking for the child you gave up eight years ago."
Kate's breath fled from her chest as the last secret came to the surface. "You know about the baby? My father told you that, too?"
"He didn't have to. That baby is my niece. Her name is Amelia. She was adopted by my brother Mark in Hawaii eight years ago. She has a locket with Nora McKenna's name on it."
Kate put a hand to her heart. She'd never expected this. "Amelia? Her name is Amelia?"
"That's right. And she's happy, healthy, and she loves her father."
"What about her... her adoptive mother?"
"You mean her real mother? The one who took care of her, stayed up with her at night, that woman?" His voice was unforgiving. "What does it matter, Kate? You gave your baby up. You can't have her back." He shook his head. "I still can't believe you did it. But Jeremy was dead, so it all makes sense now. He came onboard to be with you when you had the baby. After he died, you couldn't bear the thought of keeping his child. So you gave it away. You pretended it had never happened, just like eve
rything else you denied."
"You must think I'm a terrible person," Kate murmured, seeing the hardness in his eyes.
"I think you've had second thoughts and decided to hire a shark attorney to get your daughter back, but you can't have her. I have enough on all of you to thwart any efforts to take back Amelia. So don't even try."
"You have enough..." Her voice trailed away as her brain finally caught up. "You came here to find your niece's birth mother, not to do a story about us winning the Winston, didn't you?"
"That's right, Kate. I couldn't care less about the damn race. I only care about what happens to Amelia. I won't let you take her away without a fight."
Kate snapped her fingers. "That's why you took that medical bill from Ashley's apartment. And you mentioned that you thought Caroline had a drinking problem. You were collecting evidence. What about me? What did you find out about me when you made love to me last night?" A terrible pain stabbed at her heart as she realized the depth of his deceit.
For the first time, Tyler looked guilty. "Last night wasn't about Amelia. It was about us, but we both knew there were secrets between us."
"Yes, we both knew," she said wearily. Her heart was as heavy as a stone.
His eyes softened just for a minute. "Why couldn't you tell me, Kate?"
"I didn't even know that was your question. I thought you were probing into what happened during the race. I had to protect my family."
"And I have to protect mine. I'm sorry if it hurts, but you made the decision to give your baby up. Now let her be."
"It wasn't Kate's decision, it was mine."
Summer Reads Box Set: Volume 1 Page 31
