This time it’s me who walks away and she doesn’t stop me. Instead I can feel her mind working overtime. I decide to have a little fun with her as I keep walking and she follows. “Don’t think too much, Princess. We’re wasting precious time while you do. I hope you chose something scary so you have to seek safety in my arms.”
Once we’re at her car I wait for her to catch up and open the passenger door, leaning on it as she starts to climb in, then pauses and looks at me. “I’m sorry I was defensive. I’m just … I’m trying.”
“I know, baby. We’ll figure this all out. Now let’s go get our movie on.”
It was not a scary movie. No, in fact it was a movie from before either of us were born. A musical that Piper knew every single word spoken and every song sang. I wanted to muzzle her at one point. I tried shutting her up with kisses but even that didn’t work. Instead she swatted me away and told me if I got between her and her “Cool Rider” I was sitting on the floor. I have never been so grateful for a movie to end than I was of that one.
“Did you love it? It’s my favorite movie of all time. Michelle Pfeiffer was so pretty. I used to pretend I was her singing in the mirror.”
“Love is a pretty strong word for what I’m feeling after that. You are much prettier than Michelle Pfeiffer was.”
“Well, you’re sweet. I am not prettier than her and of course I know I can’t carry a tune but that doesn’t mean I can’t sing along if it makes me happy.”
I feel like this is one of those moments that she’s telling me a little about what lies beneath the surface. Something that drives her to be negative about herself. As much as I’d love to understand that more, it’s been ninety minutes since I’ve had her in my arms and that’s about all I can handle right now.
“You know what?”
“Nope, what?”
“I think you should pretend you are Michelle Pfeiffer like when she’s on that ladder. My lap could absolutely pass for a ladder, ya know.”
“Oh really?” she asks coyly, tugging on a strand of her hair and looking at me through her long lashes before looking away. I watch as her facial expression tells me she’s thinking too much again. She’s conflicted, and if I know Piper, and I think I do at this point, she is trying to avoid taking me up on my offer.
I remove her hand from hair and lace our fingers. “Hey,” I say, tugging her hand to catch her attention. She looks at me again and I see her wariness. “Don’t think, just feel. Piper, stop trying to talk yourself out of being with me.”
“I’m not talking myself out being with you. This is just so far outside of my comfort zone; you’re so brazen and outspoken. It should make me uncomfortable and shy.”
“Should?”
Instead of a response she unlaces our fingers and slowly moves to straddle me. Her hands first land on my shoulders, then slowly make their way down the front of my chest, ultimately spreading across my pecs to rest on my biceps.
“Feel free to sing away. I’ll be the perfect ladder and just sit here.”
“I don’t think I want that,” she whispers, slightly leaning in to me.
“No?” I ask while my hands begin making their way from her knees to her upper thighs. Thankfully the skirt of her dress has ridden up on its own as she’s settled in on my lap. She’s moving her body ever so slightly, causing her breasts to rise and fall. Her neck is within range of my lips and the moment I connect with her skin she tilts her head back and releases a sound that I can only believe she’s been holding in.
My hands have made their way around to her backside. With a squeeze of her ass her face comes down and it’s she who kisses me this time. Her hands move from resting on my biceps to either side of my face. I let her take control. This is the first time Piper has given herself over to me. She’s choosing this. I pull my hands from her backside and begin tugging at the straps of her dress. I know she was freezing at my house in this outfit and knowing she wore it for me gives me hope.
The top of the dress is tight and the straps only come down a little on her arms. I reach around to find the zipper, but I feel her tense as I do.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” I say apologetically. I must have really pushed too far because she’s standing up from where she’d been perched.
I open my mouth to apologize more when she extends her hand to me. I place my hand in hers and before I stand she says the words that will forever change us.
“Let’s go to bed.”
This entire night is completely out of my comfort zone. I am not this girl, never have been. Not even in relationships. Nope, I am not bold and I sure as hell have never climbed up on a man and straddled him. I was being honest when I said I should feel uncomfortable and shy. That’s normally how I feel with men. Uncomfortable, insecure, shy, and out of my league. With Ben I feel confident and bold. He makes me want to step outside of my comfort zone.
Taking his hand, I lead him into my bedroom. I don’t bother with light and am grateful my blinds are slightly open, letting in some moonlight. Regardless of how bold I felt walking in here, I suddenly feel very self-conscious and aware of the fact that I am asking Bentley James Sullivan to have sex with me.
I know he can sense the shift in my confidence because just as I’m about to tell him I can’t do this, he steps toward me and pulls me into a hug. Not a sensual kiss, a hug.
“Hey, relax. There is no pressure here.”
So few words with so much meaning. I melt into his embrace and welcome his warmth. He smells really good. I should know his smell better than my own since I spent the morning snuggling, in a non-creepy fashion, the pillow he used last night. I pull back from him and look up at him as he does his thing with my hair. I’ve grown accustomed to his need to keep hair out of my face and offer him a smile as a thank you.
“Before you start thinking again, I want you to know we are not going to have sex.”
Say what? We aren’t? Why not? Because he doesn’t want that with me. Obviously.
“Nope, you don’t get to go there,” he says, cupping my face in his hands, one on either side of my cheek, and tilting my head up to look at him.
“I see your mind working a million miles a minute. We are not having sex because you aren’t ready. Truthfully, I don’t think I’m ready for that. I know for a fact the minute I have you it’s game over and I’ll be all in. Tonight, I just want to be with you,” he continues, moving his hand so he’s threading my hair with his fingers and slightly tugging me so that my neck is exposed.
I swallow the lump forming in my throat as a sense of relief comes to the surface. I am so not ready for sex with Ben. I’m already half in love with this man and if I sleep with him I’ll fall so hard I don’t know that I’ll ever recover. Instead of kissing me like I expect, he brings his mouth close to my ear.
“I want to hold you.” Each word he says sends shivers down my spine in anticipation as he continues, “And kiss you.” His soft kisses along my jaw line have me gripping his forearms in an effort to keep myself upright.
“I’m going to kiss you now, Piper, and then I’m going to take this dress off of you.” Oh dear Lord. My breaths are quick in succession and my eyes close instinctively as his lips touch mine. Loosening my grip on his forearms, my hands find their way up and around his neck. I give myself over to the kiss just as my zipper is lowered and my dress pools at our feet. He spins me and begins walking us toward my bed.
As my knees connect with the edge of the bed, I tug at the hem of his shirt. “Off.” He complies and with one hand pulls his shirt off. My breath catches again at the sight of him. I feel myself falling. Literally and figuratively. I open my eyes to find Ben over me. The intensity in his eyes causes me to gasp. Not in fear but in awe. Something changes in this moment; I finally see the man who has haunted my dreams all these years.
The man I have known was coming for me and would be the one. I search for something, anything to tell me what is happening. His arms have him braced so that he’s hovering
just above me, our breaths mingling because we are so close, and his heart beating in time with mine. My legs instinctively fall open so he is hitting me in just the right spot.
Nothing separates us but a few layers of clothing and I want nothing more than to rip those pieces away. I want him inside me. I need him inside me.
“God, Piper,” Ben sighs. His sigh is hard to distinguish. It feels like acceptance but sounds slightly like frustration. The latter thought has me tensing slightly. “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?”
I shake my head in response. “So beautiful you not only take my breath away but render me speechless. There are no words in the human vocabulary to fully express the way you make me feel.”
“Show me,” I say in a voice I hardly recognize.
His response is only a growl and then his lips are on mine. This kiss is different than those before. Something has shifted between us. Not just Ben shifting between my legs and sending my body into a frenzy. The friction between his jeans and the silk of my panties has me humming from the inside out.
As Ben increases the intensity of the kiss, my hands come up to his sides and I feel him shiver slightly. I love that he reacts to me this way and I begin taking control of the kiss. An animalistic growl comes from the back of his throat. My heart is beating in rhythm with his and we are in sync, our movements like a dance. His hand finds its way between us. The moment his hand reaches the band of my panties he pulls away from the kiss to look in my eyes. He’s searching for permission. Permission I grant.
I push up on my elbows and reach behind to unfasten my bra before tossing it aside. Ben’s eyes bulge like a cartoon character and that causes me to giggle. He smiles a smile that, if I couldn’t feel the silk, would have me believing had just melted my panties.
I lay back down so my head is on the pillow and run my hands down my torso and watch as he visibly swallows. This reaction has me smiling like I have a secret. My hands rest on his waistband and begin to undo the button before his hand stops me.
“Don’t. I meant what I said, we aren’t ready.”
I suppose he’s right. I may agree but I don’t have to like it. Ben only allows me those quick thoughts before he has me lost in the moment. His lips feel like butterflies fluttering against my skin as he makes his way from my lips to my neck. His fingers grace my breasts with gentle caresses and slight tugs at my nipples. My breath is catching with each tug.
His lips replace his fingers on my breasts. Ben stiffens his tongue and teases my right nipple. With each stroke I feel the warmth soar through me. Arching my back, I beg for more without words. He gives me what I want when his fingers pull my panties to the side and he sinks a finger in me. Tugging my nipple with his lips, the dual sensations have me quickly approaching my release. Just as I am about to verbalize this, Ben removes his finger from me. The loss is immediate.
I’m gathering my wits when Ben pulls back so he’s resting on his knees. I open my eyes and instinctively raise my hands over my head. His sly grin sends my heart a flutter. I return the grin as he releases a growl from deep in his throat. Laying a series of kisses across my abdomen and to my hip, I know where he’s headed. This is unknown territory for me. I’ve been intimate and had sex. Sadly, I’m realizing until this moment none of the men in my life before Ben have ever made it about me. Equally, I’ve never been with a man who I’ve cared was selfish in bed.
The moment he pulls my panties to the side and his tongue makes contact with my most intimate skin, I feel my orgasm building. The heat is overwhelming and instinctively I attempt to close my legs. Ben nudges my knees apart with his shoulders and moans his approval of what is happening. The vibration of his moan increases the intensity of the buildup. With a mind of their own, my hands find their way to his head, slightly tugging at his hair as my own moans fill the room. His tongue is doing astounding things as he adds his fingers to the mix. The intensity of each lick stronger than the next and I feel like I am outside of my body looking down at us.
I’ve never been vocal during sex, but like everything else with Ben, I am now. Incoherent words flow out of my mouth as I struggle to maintain a steady stream of breaths. The moment I say his name the orgasm floods me. Like an erupting volcano I’m shaking and have replaced my grip from his hair to the comforter.
As I get my bearings, Ben removes himself from between my legs and kisses his way up to my face. This time I don’t wait for him to move my hair. Once the blanket of auburn is no longer blocking my vision I look up to the most handsome face on the planet Earth.
“I could do that every single day for the rest of my life and never tire of it.”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, my friend,” I tease.
I note his reaction to the use of the word friend before he places a kiss to the tip of my nose. He nudges the covers from under me until I am under them, where he joins me. Spooning me once again from behind, he feathers my shoulder with gentle kisses.
“I don’t break promises, Princess.”
“Mmm,” I offer in response.
“It’s getting late. Let’s sleep.”
“But,” I begin as I untangle myself from his arms and turn toward him, placing my hands on his chest.
“But what?”
Slowly moving my hands across his very sculpted pecs, I struggle to find the words. “It’s just that, well, you can’t possibly be ready to sleep. You didn’t … I should…”
Ben takes both of my hands in one of his own, making me feel small and fragile.
“I don’t need to and you shouldn’t ever feel you have to.”
I just stare at him, no response possible.
“Now, let’s get some sleep,” he says as I snuggle into his embrace.
One lash at a time, I slowly begin peeling my eyes open. I feel slightly out of sorts and stretch my arms over my head while pointing my toes when suddenly I inhale two of the best scents ever created by man - freshly brewed coffee and bacon.
The relaxation I felt from my quick stretch is immediately gone as the realization that someone has brewed said coffee and is cooking said bacon. Ben. With that thought, the events of last night flash through my mind. Ignoring the tug in my tummy and the smile on my face at the memories, I groan.
“Breakfast is almost done, sleepy head.”
Apparently I groan loudly. Making a face toward the voice to reflect my unhappiness of having to get out of bed, I do just that. Thankfully, at some point during the night I managed to throw on Ben’s T-shirt as my makeshift pajamas. Not daring to look at myself in the mirror, I quickly brush my teeth before heading toward breakfast and the voice.
A man who cooks is sexy. A man cooking with a little extra scruff, messy bed head, bare feet, while only wearing a pair of jeans is delicious. I allow myself a few minutes to take in the sight while his back is to me.
“Are you just going to stand there staring at me or are you going to come say a proper good morning?”
“Why are you so talkative in the morning?” I grumble while pouring a cup of coffee.
Leaning against the counter, I attempt to avoid a third-degree burn on my tongue with short puffs of air at the liquid goodness and slowly take a sip as Ben chooses to ignore my question. I watch him carefully as he places the spatula on the counter and turns the burner off. I continue holding the cup so I’m blowing on the coffee but instead of taking another sip, I’m mesmerized by the sight of Ben’s back muscles as they twitch with each movement. Wow. Slowly he turns and begins walking toward me.
Check that, stalks toward me. Taking my cup from my hand, he sets it on the counter. Before I can even process what’s happening he scoops me up by my butt. My hands instinctively reach around his neck as he sets me on the counter. With him standing between my legs, I look at him wide-eyed with my mouth in the form of an O.
“For future reference, a proper good morning includes a kiss.”
I don’t even have an opportunity to reply as his lips claim mine. My body re
sponds instantly. The want, need, and desperation for this man consume me. My hands thread through his hair as my legs wrap around his waist. When I’m almost convinced we’re about to consummate this friendship in my little kitchen he pulls back with a mischievous grin and plants a quick kiss on my cheek before pulling away.
“Hey!”
“Now, that was how you say good morning. Let’s eat.”
Rolling my eyes in an effort to calm my hormones, I hop from the counter and grab my coffee before taking a seat at the little table. Before me is quite the spread of bacon, pancakes, fruit, and juice.
“Where’d you get all this food? I’m pretty sure all I had in the fridge was some cream cheese and maybe an apple.”
Shrugging, he begins making a large mountain of food on his plate. “I woke up early and went to the store. We’re going to have to get some groceries if we’re going to spend time here.”
“I usually go shopping on Sundays so I can do all of my food prep for the week. I wasn’t exactly expecting weekend company.”
“Good, I’ll add a few things to your shopping list if that’s okay?”
I’m not sure when we went from not talking for weeks to making a grocery list together, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me happy. Full-heart happy. And scared out of my mind.
“Sure, the list is on the fridge,” I say while I continue to note the domestic scene playing out. “What are your plans today? Are you hanging out with the guys?”
“I figured I’d run home and change my clothes and then we could hang out.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I say as I stand to refill my coffee.
“What do you mean it’s not a good idea? I think it’s an excellent idea,” he says, grabbing my wrist and tugging me onto his lap. I’m acknowledging the comfort of this lap when he turns me so I’m straddling him in the chair. “Explain yourself, please.”
Whiskey & Honey Page 16
