He finally drew away and reached into his pocket. ‘Will you wear this while I’m gone?’ he asked.
Ellie stared at the gold band with the single chip of diamond at its centre. She looked back at him, hardly daring to believe this was happening. ‘Always,’ she whispered.
Joe slipped the ring on her finger. ‘When I come back I’ll put the wedding band next to it,’ he promised.
Ellie was determined not to cry. It would make it harder for them both if she did, and she wanted Joe to be proud of her – to remember her as strong and brave, not a snivelling wreck. She looked at the ring sparkling in the bright sunlight and vowed it would never leave her.
Joe unfolded the piece of paper that was tucked into the base of the jewellery box. ‘This is a poem I wrote,’ he said shyly. ‘I wanted to express how I feel about leaving you and Warratah. I hope you like it. And when you read it, think of me and know I’ll be coming home to you just as soon as I can.’
Ellie’s fingers trembled as she took the neatly printed piece of paper. The words shimmered and blurred and she had to blink hard before she could read.
‘Come with me now to the billabong
Where the bell birds sing in the trees,
And the dark, mysterious waters
Are moved by the sigh of the breeze.
And while the world is in chaos
With trouble rife near and far,
Here is peace to be shared with the windflowers
And the people who love Warratah.’
‘Oh, Joe,’ she breathed. ‘That is so beautiful.’
A commanding whistle tore through the babel of noise and into their private little world. The last convoy was about to leave.
‘I’ll come back, Ellie. I promise.’ Joe pulled her to her feet and roughly drew her into his arms, holding her so tightly she could barely breathe.
Ellie clung to him, trembling from the effort to remain dry-eyed and in control. But it was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do, and when he kissed her for the last time, she was almost overwhelmed by despair.
As Joe gently pulled away Ellie saw how his hair glinted blue-black in the sunlight. Noticed how green his eyes were, how soft his mouth. ‘I love you,’ she said firmly. ‘And I promise I’ll wait if you promise you’ll come back.’ She leaned into him as the brass band marched past and the crowd around them shifted and sighed. She was aware of other women crying, of children’s shrill calls and men’s bluff voices, of the tears that threatened to choke her, and the way his arms enfolded her so fiercely.
When he pulled away from her again his face was ashen, the green of his eyes clouded with pain. ‘It’s time, Ellie,’ he murmured. ‘I have to go.’
Ellie pulled the ribbon from her hair and thrust it into his hand. ‘Keep safe,’ she stammered as she fought down the tears and tried to smile. ‘And don’t be a bloody hero.’
‘Ain’t my style,’ he drawled with studied bravado. He tucked the ribbon into his pocket and turned to Aurelia whose presence hadn’t been noticed until now. ‘Thanks for everything, missus. Take care of her for me,’ he said gruffly as he gave her an awkward hug.
All too soon he was striding across the street to be met by a wall of khaki uniforms and a bellowing sergeant major. He turned and waved before climbing into the back of the army truck. Then, in a flurry of exhaust fumes and dust he was gone.
*
Ellie was aware of the tears that squeezed beneath her eyelashes and rolled down her face. Aware of her daughter’s hand as it covered her fingers. Yet those few hours with Joe all those years ago seemed as if they had just happened, and she was still lost in the heat and heartache of that parting.
Claire’s grip tightened, bringing her back to the present. ‘You don’t have to do this any more, Mum,’ she said softly. ‘I can see how this is hurting you, and I’m sorry. So very sorry I’ve caused you so much pain.’ She paused for breath, her eyes bright with unshed tears. ‘Let’s forget the whole thing and start again. I don’t need to know anything more than I already do.’
Ellie sat up and smeared away her own tears. ‘I’m afraid you do,’ she said softly. ‘This is the easy bit, there’s far worse to come.’ She took a deep breath. ‘And it won’t only affect you and me, but your sister, father and even aunt Aurelia.’
‘Then don’t tell me any more. Leave it alone. Leave the past where it belongs if it’s that painful.’
Ellie looked into her eyes and knew it was impossible. The reminders of what had happened would always be there. ‘It’s too late,’ she murmured. ‘I always knew the time would come, but I’ve put it off too long already – now it’s out of my hands.’ She could see the puzzlement in her daughter’s eyes, the unshed tears of remorse for having brought things to a head. ‘Don’t blame yourself,’ she said softly. ‘Never blame yourself. None of this is your fault – or Leanne’s.’
‘What has Leanne got to do with all this?’ Claire tossed her plait over her shoulder, dashed away the tears and lit a cigarette. ‘I thought it was to do with you and me and that gravestone at Jarrah?’
‘It has,’ she said with a firmness that surprised her. ‘But there are long shadows over that grave and ultimately they touch us all.’
‘Then tell me now,’ Claire demanded. ‘Tell me what it is you’re so frightened of.’
Ellie stared off into the distance, her thoughts far away. ‘They say the past can’t hurt you. They say there aren’t such things as ghosts,’ she murmured finally. ‘But I’m not so sure.’ She turned to look at her daughter and cupped her chin in her hand. ‘I’m not holding out on you darling,’ she said with quiet firmness. ‘You’ll know it all eventually, but for now you must be satisfied with hearing how things were. How relationships had formed and promises were made. They do have a bearing on what happened later.’
‘But you and Dad…?’
Ellie put a finger against her lips to silence her. ‘I know you have a lot of questions,’ she said. ‘But, please, Claire, let me tell this in my own way. It’ll become clear soon enough.’
Claire had taken on the stubborn look that had become so familiar through those difficult teen years and Ellie smiled. ‘Did I ever tell you how proud we all are of you?’ she asked. ‘Did I ever tell you how much we love you?’
‘Not for a long time,’ said Claire battling with tears. ‘Dad was so angry when I left for Sydney, and I knew I’d upset you both by making a fuss.’ She dipped her head, her voice low and cracked with emotion. ‘I had this fear, mum. This terrible fear I didn’t belong. That’s why I’ve stayed away. I thought you didn’t want me.’
Ellie felt a stab of pain and reached for her beloved daughter. ‘You’re my girl,’ she whispered. ‘Always were and always will be. Why should you think you didn’t belong here?’ The fear was alive within her. The dread almost overwhelming.
Claire’s eyes were swimming with tears, but her gaze was direct and penetrating. ‘I’ve heard the rumours, Mum. I’m adopted, aren’t I?’
Ellie felt the cold fingers of the past run over her and shivered. ‘No,’ she said with a firmness that belied the anguish that was sweeping through her.
*
‘And about time too.’ Aurelia was sitting in the lounge, a whisky at her elbow, pipe smoke forming a cloud below the ceiling. ‘Where on earth have you been all day? I had to get one of the boys to get me out of that damn verandah chair. Got stuck and had to yell for nearly twenty minutes before anyone heard me.’
Ellie flung her hat on a chair and rushed to her side. ‘Are you all right? You haven’t caught the sun have you?’
Aurelia gave a nonchalant shrug. ‘I could have,’ she stated, putting on a hurt expression. ‘I’m far too old to be left for so long. At least at home I have Jessie to look after me. I might as well leave if you’re going to go off every day.’
Ellie poured herself and Claire a whisky, lifted an eyebrow as Aurelia demanded a top up then sank into the couch with a sigh. ‘I’m going over to Jarrah tomorrow for
a couple of days to keep an eye on things. Claire will stay here with you and you can fill her in on the war years.’
‘That’s no consolation,’ she grumbled. ‘Claire won’t be around much to keep me company.’
They looked at her sharply.
Aurelia lifted her chin, her eyes gleaming with mischief. ‘Didn’t I tell you? Must have slipped my mind after getting stuck in the chair and not having any lunch until after three.’
‘What?’ Ellie and Claire said in unison.
It had obviously been a fraught day, and Aurelia knew she’d teased them enough. ‘Matt Derwent phoned. He’s coming over the day after tomorrow to take Claire for a ride in his plane.’ She gave a sly look across to Claire. ‘Seems he wants to take you on his rounds for the day – show you off and let you see what life’s like for a vet out here. Could be an interesting experience.’
Claire’s colour was high, but Aurelia couldn’t quite make out whether it was the effect of a day in the sun, or the thought of Matt Derwent. ‘I’ll go and see about supper,’ she murmured as she carried her drink out to the kitchen.
Aurelia looked across at Ellie. ‘Could do worse,’ she muttered. ‘I like Matt. Straightforward sort of chap. Good with horses too.’
‘Careful, Aurelia,’ warned Ellie with a soft laugh. ‘You’re beginning to sound like Lila down at Threeways.’
*
Leanne had laid out the table with candles and flowers in an effort to make the dinner romantic, and had showered and changed and dabbed perfume on her neck. They’d had the gin on the verandah at sunset, but the dinner burned as they made love on the lounge rug, and now they were both slightly drunk from too much wine.
‘Early start in the morning,’ she said as she smothered a yawn. ‘Better finish up.’
‘One more glass of wine?’ He held the bottle above her glass, his gaze holding her.
Leanne was wrung out and desperate for sleep. ‘I’ve had enough,’ she said firmly. She pushed away from the table and carried their dirty plates to the sink. ‘You know how I am in the morning if I don’t get a good night’s sleep,’ she said as she poured hot water into the sink and added detergent. ‘And my day starts long before yours.’
He came to lean against the cupboards, wineglass in hand as he watched her clear the dishes. ‘Why do you work such long hours when you can afford to pay people to do it for you?’ he asked softly.
‘Because it’s my station and I like to see things are done properly,’ she retorted as she stacked the clean dishes. It was an argument they’d had before. ‘Besides,’ she added. ‘It might look as if we’re rich, but there’s precious little of the folding stuff about.’
‘But your father’s business? The fleet of road trains? The two stations? There must be lots of money.’
Leanne threw the dishcloth into the sink and pulled out the plug. ‘How much do you have in the bank, Angel?’ she asked with deadly calm. ‘What exactly do you earn a month and what are your assets?’
If Angel had not felt so secure in his opinions he would have backed off. Leanne was at her most lethal when she went calm. He frowned. ‘Why are you asking me this? It is not a woman’s place to know everything about her husband’s finances.’
Leanne noticed how the Argentine accent came to the fore when he was sidestepped and felt a small sense of satisfaction. ‘Think I’m being nosy? That it?’ Her voice was still flat, but she could feel the anger begin to churn.
He shrugged. ‘I think it is none of your business, yes.’
‘Exactly. So don’t assume anything about me, or my family, or how much we’re worth, Angel Carrera. It’s none of your bloody business.’
He held up his hands. ‘Hey, Leanne. I’m sorry, all right? In Argentina the owners of the big cattle ranches never work. They pay an overseer to do that and spend their days riding across the pampas or doing deals in the city. I cannot see why it is not the same here.’
‘This is Australia where the land is king and people work it and don’t mind getting their hands dirty.’
His dark gaze swept over her, coming to rest on her hands that were gripping the back of a chair. ‘The ladies are manicured and very beautiful in Argentina,’ he said softly. ‘They do not work. Their men provide.’
‘Bully for them,’ she snapped. She dug her hands in her pockets, ashamed of the dirty nails and rough skin.
He took her hands and held them. ‘I want to provide for you, Leanne. To give you everything a beautiful wife should have.’ He kissed her fingers one by one with deliberate, lingering passion. ‘It is not good for a man to know his wife can do things without him. Let me take some of the burden from you. Let me be a partner in Jarrah.’
She snatched away from him. ‘I don’t own it yet,’ she snapped. ‘And when I do it’ll be all mine. I’ve worked too long and too damn hard to hand over half. If that was your reason for marrying me, then you might as well leave now.’
9
Ellie was up early as always, the chores finished, the work schedule for the coming few days clearly laid out for the men left on Warratah. She was finishing her second cup of coffee as Claire walked past her bedroom door. ‘Come in, darling,’ she called as she packed the last few things she would need to take to Jarrah.
‘Why can’t I come too?’ Claire asked with a sleepy yawn. ‘I’d like to see Angel for myself.’
‘I need you to keep an eye on Aurelia,’ she said firmly. ‘She’s not as strong as she thinks she is. Besides, your young man’s coming over tomorrow.’
Claire sat on the bed and leaned against the pillows. ‘He’s not my young man,’ she said defensively. ‘He’s not even young. Leanne thinks he’s as old as the hills.’
Ellie turned from her packing and eyed her daughter. She seemed more relaxed after their talk yesterday, but there was something in her eyes that warned her all was not well. ‘And what do you think of him?’ She watched as Claire began to fiddle with the mosquito net and was reminded how, as a little girl, she’d done the same thing when faced with a question she didn’t want to answer.
‘I’ve only met him twice. But he seems nice enough,’ she finally replied with a casual air. ‘Might be fun to go up in his plane though.’
Ellie perched on the corner of the bed. ‘Are you still determined to take that job in the city? I was hoping you’d decide to stay on here.’
She sat up and plaited her long hair. ‘It’s a good job, mum. I’d be stupid to turn it down.’ Her eyes were bright with enthusiasm. ‘I love it out here, Mum. It’s got space and majesty and a kind of atmosphere you don’t get anywhere in the world – except maybe America. But I’ve made a life for myself in Sydney. It’s got a buzz all of it’s own, and if I’m to have a career, that’s the place.’
‘You won’t have much time for a social life. The practice you’re joining is large and wide-spread. Are you sure you won’t feel stifled in the city?’
Claire shrugged. ‘There’s ten of us. If I go tropo, I’ll just fly up here for the weekend.’
Ellie smiled as she got up from the bed and zipped her over-night bag. How things had changed since she was Claire’s age. There had been few chances of going anywhere because of the war, and once Jack had joined up, there wasn’t even the occasional trip to the Curry. Now Claire was blithely talking about flying up from Sydney for the weekend, and seemed to think nothing of it. She picked up the bag. ‘Don’t let Aurelia wear you out. She might be old, but she’s still got all her marbles and can talk the hind leg off a horse.’
Claire laughed. ‘I’m looking forward to it,’ she said. ‘Aurelia tells good stories and she does it so well it’s as if I can see the scenes being played on a big screen.’
Ellie grinned. ‘Comes from having a good education back in England. She should have been a writer after all those books she’s read and the life she’s had.’ She kissed Claire goodbye and ran down the steps, then turned and waved as she crossed the yard.
Leaving Warratah for Jarrah was really an excuse
to escape. She was being cowardly, she admitted, but the past had closed in and the memories were smothering her. She needed to get away from the ghosts. Needed to catch her breath and renew her energy before she had to reveal the most harrowing part of the story.
*
Claire’s secret fear had been banished. Yet there was a part of her that was unwilling to accept that was an end to it. She’d noticed the momentary hesitation before Ellie’s denial. Had seen the flash of something dark in her eyes. Yet, surely mum wouldn’t have lied to her – not now – not when this homecoming was supposed to clean the slate? She watched the plume of dust fade into the distance as Ellie drove down the track. There was something her mother wasn’t telling her – and she was positive it was to do with Jarrah. For how else would Leanne be affected?
Aurelia was in the lounge, her post breakfast pipe already filling the room with smoke. Claire sat down, her thoughts uneasy. In an effort to clear her mind she looked at her aunt and put on a bright smile. ‘Mum said you’d tell me what happened after you two were left alone on Warratah.’
Aurelia’s monocle glinted in the light from the window. ‘I’m not surprised Ellie left this part of the story to me,’ she said thoughtfully. ‘She never liked the woman, and I can’t say I blame her.’
Claire was intrigued. ‘What woman?’
‘Her mother,’ said Aurelia flatly.
Claire sat forward in the chair. She’d met Alicia in London during her year out. They’d had an almost silent lunch at her club and had parted with as much enthusiasm for one another as two strangers meeting on a train. ‘Alicia came back? Why? When?’
Aurelia packed her pipe and drew smoke before she shook out the match and flicked it into the fireplace. ‘My sister has never been known for her selflessness,’ she said coldly. ‘She came out to avoid rationing and air raids in England. She had no thoughts for Mother and Pa who were far too old to cope with it all on their own.’
Windflowers Page 17
