by Vivian Arend
Evan took his bag to the second bedroom, barely aware of his surroundings. His hands damn near shook as he stripped off his clothes.
So. The ghosts from Hudson Bay had returned, no longer satisfied to haunt him, but determined to intrude with enough impact to destroy his future like they’d savaged his past.
He hadn’t lied. Philip’s death had been an accident. The only people who were supposed to have died in the explosion had deserved to rot in hell.
But with how delicate Amy’s soul was, Evan was going to tread lightly before telling her the rest. Before having to face his own nightmares all over again.
The only good part was they were moving forward. The potential for them to be together was closer than an hour ago.
“We can shift in the cabin,” Amy informed him, calling through the closed door. “The back door is rigged to allow us to go in and out in our wolves.”
Evan took his time. Folded everything with far more care than he’d usually take back at his place. He was in the middle of warning his wolf to behave when the door cracked open, and Amy stood in the doorway.
“Ready?”
Nudity was commonplace among wolves. Between shifting, and sex being enjoyed for fun far more than even in the human population, Evan had seen his share of skin.
Only this was his mate, and that changed everything. He couldn’t seem to avert his eyes. It proved physically impossible to do anything other than to leisurely admire her, starting at her toes.
The petite package before him was all kinds of perfect. She’d painted her toenails a bright green polish with flecks that sparkled in the sun shining in the window.
Slim but muscular legs—he already knew she had the ability to use them. The bruise on his chest proved that.
Her hips flared nicely, waist curving inward. Smooth brown skin over delicate breasts that were round and firm with dark nipples and…
Evan stabbed his nails into his own thigh to force himself to move past fixating on the woman’s chest. Instead he got as far as the swoop of her throat and the flickering pulse visible there, both erratic and heavy. Mesmerizing. He wanted to touch. To press his lips against her soft skin and soothe away her fears. His body ached with anticipation.
She moved, bending her knees ever so slightly so their eyes met.
“Hey. Time for a run.”
She shifted. That in itself was an act of trust, he realized. To be the one to take her other form first, and let him truly see her.
It was powerful. Humbling.
Oh, she’d been in her wolf form when he chased her, but that had been a different situation altogether. That had been born of impulse and instinct. This? This was about revealing herself.
Her fur was dark and lush. Intelligent eyes stared at him as he squatted, bringing their heads on a level plane. Evan reached out slowly, uncertain how Amy would take his touch.
He wasn’t sure what he would do if she rejected him.
That first touch, the first caress, nearly rocked Evan to the floor. His wolf howled, eager to come out and meet his mate. But first Evan wanted this moment. He smoothed a hand down Amy’s back as he admired her. Thrilled to know that she was there, and his resolve firmed to iron.
They were going to get through this. They would find a way. Somehow he would tear aside the walls that were threatening them. It was what he did. It was who he was.
He shifted right beside her, their bodies so close that not only their fur but the heat of their bodies made contact. Her scent enveloped him. Her presence.
Her power. For a split second Evan wondered…
Amy nudged him in the side then headed for the door. She was only a step away when the heavy wooden planks swung upward, the entire lower half of the door rising skyward on a hinge. Evan was fascinated, but his wolf was far more interested in following Amy as she paced down the stairs and onto a narrow path between two towering spruce.
Evan turned his back on the cabin and followed his mate.
She began by leading him along the winding trail through the trees. He was surprised when they went neither up nor down the mountain, but in a steady line on a vertical plane. He racked his brains to think of the terrain in that area, but it grew harder to use his human reasoning. All the wolf wanted was to run with his mate. Evan acknowledged the beast’s wisdom, put aside his questions, and instead concentrated on keeping up.
She had a new agenda, this one far clearer than any previous. Her pace was rapid enough Evan had to push to keep up. Even though he was following, the new terrain made it difficult for him to move at his highest speed. She seemed to delight in taking last-minute corners, using small trails off the main path, especially ones passing under low bushes or other obstacles that challenged his larger form. It was a game of one-upmanship, and he had no difficulty in accepting the challenge.
When they broke free of the trees, the world had changed. Instead of looking down on the city of Whitehorse, they were in the valley on the far side of the mountain. The horizon seemed so far away, with nothing but wilderness stretching before them.
Amy rested beside him, both of them breathing heavily from their exertion. Evan lowered himself to the ground, relaxing and allowing himself the luxury of just being. The wolf was at the foreground. The wolf was pleased.
And when Amy settled beside him, close enough their haunches touched, a tiny seed of hope germinated.
There was so much to decide. So much forgiveness to work through. Having Amy with him made everything inside that was wolf stand up and cheer. Bringing forward the pain of the past was going to be nasty, and his human heart feared hurting her irrevocably.
The tightrope between the two paths scared him the most.
Chapter Seven
Amy rocked her easy chair, the view from the wide deck of the cabin almost as spectacular as the one that she and Evan had enjoyed on their run.
She sipped from the glass of wine she’d poured to help steady her nerves. It had felt incredible to be able to run with a fellow wolf, one as strong as she was. She often spent time in her wolf form taking care of others in the pack, but it wasn’t the same. Then she was the one in charge. She was the one constantly looking for clues of what was needed in the pack.
Today?
Running through that door with Evan at her side had been different from anything she’d experienced before. She wasn’t sure how it was possible to feel affected on so many levels.
Inside her chest was a hard, heavy spot. For the last five years, ever since she had begun to seek the truth about what had happened to her family, that layer of rock and ice had been building around her heart. Evan said he still had more to explain, and that was true. But what he’d already shared made sense. His brief summary made a difference, and now she wondered if she’d been chasing, not justice, but a nightmare.
She hated being wrong. She hated the thought she might have spent time and energy seeking to punish someone who didn’t deserve it. Guilt layered over years of loathing and anguish.
Evan pushed through the door and joined her. His hair was wet from the shower.
“It’s all yours,” he said.
She rose, stepping to the left to get around him. He moved at the same moment, unintentionally blocking her path.
Twice more they shifted position, twice more they jerked to a stop mere seconds away from making full physical contact. Evan rotated his shoulders to the side and opened a path. “Please. Go on.”
Stepping past him was incredibly hard. Amy’s wolf had been content while they were in the forest, but now that they were back at the cabin, the creature was no longer as patient. What her wolf wanted was to halt in mid-stride, curl up against him and rub all over.
And that was just to begin with—the beast had a very vivid imagination, and she used it mercilessly. Amy made sure the shower was icy cold, and she scrubbed as hard as sh
e could, but even then his scent lingered. Wrapped around her.
Tonight was going to be hell no matter what.
She wasn’t in the shower for long, but by the time she got out and dressed in a comfortable pair of sweats, she discovered Evan in the kitchen digging through the fridge, a pot of spaghetti boiling on the stove. He glanced over his shoulder. “I’m starving. I thought you might be as well.”
Amy nodded. “Did you find the spaghetti sauce in the freezer?”
They worked together to make the meal, and it was far too casual. There was something wrong, Amy thought, about standing beside the man and teetering between revenge and lust.
Her wolf couldn’t understand why they weren’t moving on to the next stage of mating, i.e. jumping his very delectable bones.
Her fully human heart couldn’t let go of the thought that this was the enemy who she was bumping into as they made a salad. As Evan ripped chunks of lettuce from the head and her gaze fell to his strong hands, her sense of guilt strengthened even further.
She had to find a way to deal with this dilemma. She was a strong individual, but the conflicting desires between her two parts would pull her world apart if she wasn’t careful.
If it were only her life to worry about, Amy would let chaos run its course, no matter what the end result. Only she wasn’t free to take that route. Her situation meant too many others were relying on her. Too many plots had already begun that she had to make a decision about, and quickly.
“Eat outside on the deck?” Evan asked once the meal was ready.
“Great.”
They balanced plates and drinks. Evan pushed open the door with his shoulder and let her go first.
“Do you want to tell me what happened to you after the accident?” Evan spoke quietly after they’d settled in their chairs. “Or do you want to talk about what you’re doing here in Whitehorse? Or do you want to ask me questions?”
The idea of going back through the hell her life had been for so many years would make her lose her appetite. And telling him why she’d come to Whitehorse—that burden could wait until after dinner was over. “Tell me something about yourself. Your education, or what you did after you left Hudson Bay.”
Evan’s expression grew a touch lighter as he twirled spaghetti on his fork. “I traveled for a while. Ended up in Europe, which was a complete surprise, both getting there and how they do things. I spent a few years working in Germany and Russia with a paramilitary organization.”
Well, now, that was unexpected. “Para, as in shifters, or semilegal mercenaries?”
Evan tilted his head from side to side. “In a way, both. We were all shifters, and while not all of our activities involved working in shifter-only communities, a lot of the assignments did. The roughest ones were in Russia. Most West and Central European shifters tend to be more civilized, at least on the surface. What I’ve come to think of being the norm in the shifters found south of the forty-ninth parallel. Our wolves tend to be rougher.”
“The wolves in the Yukon are a different lot,” Amy agreed.
“Caroline said it’s not just the shifters. She said the humans who come North tend to have a different attitude than folks from the South. Something about wanting to do things their own way and loving the isolation.”
A new and unwelcome sensation struck as Evan casually mentioned the other woman’s name.
Amy stabbed a piece of salad with her fork. “Oh, right. The human.”
Evan stiffened ever so slightly. He glanced at her, concern the strongest emotion she sensed. “You don’t have to worry about Caroline.”
“Who’s worried?” Amy could’ve kicked herself for even responding to his comment, but her wolf’s hackles were up. Damn her world.
Evan put his plate on the small table beside his chair. He knelt before her and placed both hands on her knees. “From the moment I discovered you were in Whitehorse, I haven’t touched another woman. I know we have more to discuss but, Amy, even if you need to learn to trust me on other things, trust me on this. You are the only woman I want.”
Her wolf preened, and Amy wanted to smack the beast. “I believe you.”
She believed him as well because she’d been watching him, closely. There was no scent on him more than what would have been caused by casual interactions.
And wasn’t that mucked up? That she didn’t know where this conversation was going, but she was fanatically happy to hear no other female had gotten a piece of him recently.
Evan remained on his knees in front of her, fixing her with a dark intense stare that drove straight into her soul. “I’m dying here, Amy.” He set her plate to the side so he could take her hands in his. “Tell me something. Give me hope we’ll get through this.”
She shook her head, hating to do it, but unwilling to lead him on with an untruth. “I can’t promise anything yet. There’s so much you don’t know. There’s so much you have to tell me.”
His face fell, but he nodded. Sat back in his chair and picked up his plate. His expression tightly controlled around the edges. “Your turn. What have you been doing? You own the computer shop. That’s cool.”
“When I finished high school, I headed into computer programming. By the end of the first year, I’d realized getting a degree wasn’t going to work. The classes were too easy.” Amy stared into her wine glass, swirling the liquid gently. “It was the other parts of going to school that intrigued me. Since I could solve the computer-programming assignments in my sleep, learning to deal with the people around me became far more fascinating.”
“You’ve spent years learning how to read people?”
“Shifters, humans, the usual set of misogynists involved in computer sciences,” she admitted. Amy took a deep breath and prepared to make her confession regarding her position in the Canyon pack.
He didn’t give her a chance. “When you join Takhini, that’s going to help you a lot.”
Amy guessed Evan was attempting to be reassuring, although it was hard to tell as her blood pressure spiked again.
“I have no concerns about being able to fit in just fine wherever I go.” She might have snapped the statement a little too hard.
Evan observed her carefully for a moment then stared over the view. The sun was beginning to set behind the western mountains, and golden-yellow rays streaked across the sky. “It seems at every turn I say things that upset you. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”
“That confession is a step in the right direction,” Amy commented. “Finish eating. I can hear your stomach rumbling from here, and I don’t need a testy wolf on top of everything else. We’ll talk once we’ve done dinner.”
The setting was far too idyllic considering the tension between them, but Amy took it. She ignored the pressures they still had to face and focused on the beauty of the world around her. Guiltily allowed her wolf to enjoy the presence of the strong, alpha male at her side.
The clouds were backlit with brilliant colours when the sentinels surrounding the cabin started to howl. Their wolf song was full of respect and appreciation. A shiver raced over her skin as she met Evan’s eyes.
His focus narrowed, his concentration tightening as the pack continued to serenade her. It wasn’t just because she was there and finally taking a rare night off, it was their way to show they cared.
The homage was humbling and strengthening all at the same time.
Evan stood and walked to the edge of the deck, staring into the trees as he listened intently. The position left his face in profile, and she couldn’t take her eyes off him. Admiring the sharp features of his jawline, a hint of silver beginning to show in the black hair at his temples. Her wolf nudged her and again confirmed its interest in taking this man as a mate.
He turned to her. “I’m an idiot.”
Amy’s lips twitched. “No argument from me.”
He
leaned his elbows on the railing, his long muscular body stretched out facing her and highlighted by the fading colours of sunset glow. His eyes gleamed, a hint there of both his amusement and his continued caution. “So. When did you intend on letting me know that you’re the Alpha of the Miles Canyon pack?”
Busted.
He was pleased to see she didn’t look guilty at getting caught, but instead tilted her chin upward and for the first time offered him a grin.
“Well, I did try to tell you. More than once.”
Evan thought back, nodding slowly as he considered. “You did. Thus my admission I was an idiot.”
Amy lifted her feet into the chair and wrapped her arms around her shins. “I suppose this starts a new conversation.”
“I know we’re not done answering your concerns, but what the hell?” If Evan had thought his world had become twisted before, this only made it worse. What the fuck was going on? “First question—all the rumours I’ve heard said Sam runs Canyon. Your name is Amy. Which is right?”
She sighed. “Both. My name is Samantha Amy Ryba, but for many reasons it seemed better to go by Sam when I took over Canyon. A masculine-sounding name stops a lot of bother before it even starts. Unfortunately.”
“But you used Amy as your code name?”
“It’s the name I used in college, and it hid my identity from your pack when I made contact with Takhini.”
Hidden in plain sight. “Congrats, it worked. But why have you been sharing pack secrets when you’re the Alpha?”
When she didn’t answer him, instead staring at a spot over his shoulder, Evan’s respect for her went up and his sense of oh-shit grew exponentially.
“You were pulling a fast one,” he guessed.
“I was gathering intelligence,” Amy suggested. “I didn’t share anything about the Canyon pack that wasn’t common knowledge.”
Evan grinned as another thought occurred. “Oh man, I don’t believe it. Perfect, efficient Caroline made a mistake. You duped her into taking you under her wing! I’m going to razz her like crazy when she gets back.”
