“I gotta brush mine, too, then,” he says.
We stand in the cabin’s small bathroom together, both brushing our teeth and Ford also grabbing my ass. I realize as our eyes meet in the mirror that I’m going to miss this. I’m going to miss him. I wouldn’t have minded at all if it had taken longer to find the right formula.
I spit into the sink, rinse and then step back from the sink to give him room to rinse.
“What does this mean?” I ask. “Will you be taking me home?”
“I don’t know for sure. I have to let the brass know you’ve got the formula done, and we’ll see what they say.”
“Do you think you could wait until tomorrow to tell them?”
He turns to face me. “Yeah, if you want me to.”
“What if we…I mean, if you wanted to…”
“What, Sarina?”
I meet his gaze and take a deep breath to steady myself. “What if we moved the couch and desk and whatever else in front of the door so you’d know if someone was trying to get in and you could get to your gun in time? And we took this one day…”
He finishes my sentence. “For us.”
“Yes.”
He cups my cheeks and leans down to kiss me, pushing his body against mine until my back is against the wall.
“Hell yeah,” he says against my lips. “We can get every desire out of our systems. Make sure there are no regrets when we say goodbye.”
“Maybe you can get rid of the dead mice first.”
He laughs and I feel the sound vibrating from his chest against mine. “That’s the least I can do to set a mood. And I have condoms in my pack.”
My stomach does a full turn. We’re really doing this.
He kisses me one more time and then gets to work on mouse disposal duty, leaving our two surviving mice in their cages. I want them to go to the CDC for further testing.
I take a quick shower, and when I walk back into the main cabin area, I see Ford take two boards out from under the couch and set them into hooks on the sides of the door. The door is now dead bolted, chained and barred. I think we could handle an apocalypse in this place.
“Lemme shower,” he says, heading for the bathroom.
While he’s in there, I whip up some scrambled eggs and pour two glasses of orange juice. I’m putting the eggs on plates when Ford walks out of the bathroom in all his shirtless glory.
Damn. I’ve never been with a man who had defined muscles on his arms and chest. But then, I’ve never been with a man who was anything like Ford. His dark gaze makes me feel like he wants to devour me, and God help me, I want him to.
He’s only wearing jeans, a dark trail of hair leading beneath the waistband. His hair is wet from the shower. Breakfast is forgotten as I drink him in instead.
“Let’s eat,” he says, grabbing a plate.
We eat the eggs in silence, the air between us charged with warm, nervous energy. When we’re finished, Ford picks up both glasses of orange juice and hands me one.
“To the smartest, most beautiful woman I know,” he says. “And to second chances.”
We clink our glasses together and I take several swallows of juice. Ford finishes his and then glances at the fireplace.
“I’m gonna build up the fire real quick.”
I watch the muscles on his back ripple as he bends down to throw more logs on the fire. It roars to life and he stands, turning to face me.
“You’re sure?” he asks. “I want to know you’re completely sure.”
“It was my idea,” I remind him, arching a brow in amusement.
He gives me a wolfish grin. “True. But I’ve wanted you since that night at the bar.”
“So come and get me.”
My heart races with excitement as he closes the distance between us. He wastes no time, bending and sweeping me off the ground before throwing me over his shoulder like he did the day he rescued me from the lab explosion.
I squeal with surprise and he smacks my ass, making me cry out again. Then he turns toward the bed and tosses me onto it, climbing on top of me as soon as my back hits the mattress.
The spicy scent of his soap is almost as intoxicating as the feel of his biceps and shoulders. I run my hands over the lines of him, hoping to memorize every sensation.
He kisses me and our bodies mold together. I’m dizzy with desire as he moves his mouth to my jawline and then my neck.
When he moves down to my chest, I remember I’m wearing my glasses and reach for them.
“Leave them on,” he says, looking up at me earnestly. Ford is determined to show me that he’s attracted to my inner and outer nerd.
“Thanks,” I say softly. “But I don’t want them to fall off.”
He smirks and hums his agreement, then pulls my T-shirt up so he can kiss the edges of my bra. I somehow get my glasses onto the nightstand and he takes my shirt the rest of the way off, then tugs off my pants next.
It feels like he kisses every inch of exposed skin on my body. He’s slow and tender, and every touch from him is maddeningly good.
I don’t know how this one day will quench my desire for him. I’ve never felt this way with a man before. I feel sexier right now, only wearing my bra and panties, than I ever have.
When he slides down my bra strap and kisses the spot on my shoulder where it was resting, I feel a sudden, deep hunger for him. I fumble with the button and fly on his jeans, finally getting them undone. He stands to take off his jeans, his erection tenting his boxer briefs out in front of him.
“Keep going,” I say as his jeans hit the floor.
A corner of his mouth turns up as he slides down the boxer briefs. I take in the sight of him, long and hard and ready, and lick my lips.
“You’re eager,” he says in a low tone.
“I’ve been waiting a long time for this.”
Longer than he even knows, but I can’t bring myself to admit how much he means to me. Not now, on what we know will be our one and only day together like this.
“Me too, Sarina,” he says, his dark eyes softening.
He slides down my panties and takes off my bra, then sheathes his erection with a condom.
As soon as he’s inside me, his groan mingles with my sigh of pleasure. It’s been a long time, and my body has to stretch for him, but the look of satisfaction on his face is everything.
He moves slowly at first, then fast and then slow again. Somehow he knows how to bring me right to the edge and then change his rhythm to keep me from coming.
The fire crackles as we pant and groan with every blissful stroke until finally, he doesn’t slow down. He keeps going until I spiral into a deep, perfect orgasm that makes me cry out and arch my back. I’m lost to the sensation for a few seconds, and just as the wave starts to slow, he groans loudly and sinks all the way into me a final time.
It’s everything I never even knew sex could be. I’ve just had the most sensual experience of my life. Ford buries his face in my neck, his breath warm on my skin and his beard tickling me in a way I like.
“Was it good?” I ask him.
I feel his single note of laughter. “It was fucking incredible.”
“Is it always like that?”
He lifts his face from my neck and looks at me. “What do you mean?”
“I mean…sex. You kind of just blew my mind. Is it like that for you every time?”
“No.” He smoothes the hair away from my face and kisses me gently. “No, it’s definitely not like that every time.”
The sex we just had was incredible, and I know there’s more to come, but I also know that when I look back on this day, this is the moment I’ll hold closest to my heart.
Chapter 14
Ford
We stretch out our last day together into the next morning. I fell asleep early last night after spending the day making love to Sarina in every position, some of them twice.
Two nights of not sleeping caught up with me, though, and I couldn’t resist the pull.
After a good night of rest, it’s incredible to wake up with Sarina’s soft, warm body wrapped around mine.
She stretches and kisses my chest. I pull her hips on top of mine and she smiles down at me, the ends of her hair brushing my shoulder.
“I want you even more today than I did yesterday,” I say. “Are you too sore to go again?”
“No. We’re down to one condom, though, so let’s make it count.”
My dick is already rock hard, and I wish I could say fuck the condom and bury myself deep inside her right now. I’ve never felt that urge with a woman before.
But I know I can’t. I’ll have to fantasize about it in the weeks and months to come, when Sarina is living her life again and I’m working.
She rolls the condom on and slides down, taking my whole length at once with a satisfied moan.
“I’ve never been on top,” she says, biting her lip in the way that drives me into a lust-filled haze. “Will you help me?”
“You’re doing great so far, baby.” I put my hands on her hips and help her set a rhythm.
She rides me in an uninhibited way that sets me on fire for her. Knowing it’s our last time isn’t bittersweet, it’s just fucking bitter. I try to hold back and memorize every expression of pleasure on her face, but when she comes, I have to let go, too. I pull her hips against mine and she brushes a soft kiss against my lips as I unload with a deep groan. If only the condom wasn’t there. I would have loved to leave part of myself inside her.
“Morning sex is good,” she says, smiling as she slides off my lap and curls up against my side.
“With you it is,” I say, kissing her.
She sighs softly. “You’re a pretty great kidnapper, Ford.”
I laugh and pull the covers around her bare skin. “Well, thanks. I really hate to say this, but I have to call McKenna.”
“I know.”
“Maybe they’ll want us to stay holed up a little longer,” I say as I push the contact button.
But it was wishful thinking. McKenna tells me she’s sending a chopper to get Sarina and that it’ll be landing out on the main highway within two hours. I try to convince her that I should stay on the protection detail, but she tells me I’m too high-dollar to keep long-term and that her agents will handle it from here.
I’d do it for nothing, but if I offer that, McKenna will know I’ve fallen for Sarina.
When I tell Sarina the news, the disappointment in her eyes matches the heavy feeling in my chest. She goes to take a shower and I follow, not wanting to spend any of our remaining time apart from her.
I wash her back and hair, and it’s not lost on me that the guys on my SEAL team would be shocked to see me now. The badass sniper who’s always preferred his women two at a time is gently washing a woman’s hair in the shower, and it’s not so I can bang her afterward.
“Are you crying?” I ask her when she turns around to face me after I rinse her hair.
“Yeah.”
“What’s wrong?”
She puts her palms on my chest and looks up at me. “I’m scared. I feel safe here, with you. I’m scared that the people who blew up the lab will find me, and I’m scared that the CDC will tell me my research is flawed and useless.”
“Hey.” I cup her cheeks in my hands. “There’s a whole team coming to evacuate you. McKenna promised me that she would give you security for as long as you need it. And if you feel unsafe about going back to your old life, the FBI can help with a new identity. You can start over somewhere else.”
“I just don’t know.” She shakes her head. “I haven’t had to think about any of this until now.”
“I know.” I switch off the shower and grab the towel that’s hanging over the door, wrapping it around her. “But it’s gonna be okay, Sarina. The hard part is over.”
“Will I ever see you again?”
I put my hands on her upper arms and meet her gaze. “Of course. You’re…important to me. Very important.”
“Where are you going from here?”
“I’ve got another job. It’s something that’s not time-sensitive, so I told my contact I’d do it when I finished this assignment. Then I need to go see my sister and nephews for a few days.”
“Good.” She smiles. “You deserve a break from work.”
“This time with you has been the best break I’ve had in a long time.”
She laughs and looks away. “Even with the lab mice and sleeping on that old couch, or not sleeping at all?”
I put my hand on her chin and ease her back my way, forcing her to look at me. “Even with all that. I wouldn’t change a thing.”
“Me either.” Her smile turns sad. “Except for this part. The goodbye.”
“We’ll see each other again, Sarina.”
“But…I mean, do you think we could try to…you know, have a relationship? A long-distance one?”
I think about it for a few seconds. I want to say yes. I want to so fucking bad. I want her to be my woman, whether I get to see her every day or not. But it’s selfish of me.
“I wish we could. But—”
She opens the shower door and steps out, not looking at me. “No, I know. It was a stupid idea.”
“It’s not stupid. I want to, more than you know. But I work undercover. I travel all over the world. Some of my assignments are months long, and I can’t have any communications with anyone when I’m on them. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”
“I understand.” She pulls the towel tighter around herself.
The hurt in her tone, and her sudden self-consciousness, cuts me like a knife. I knew getting close to her and then parting ways would hurt me, but I’ve been compartmentalizing hurt for years. I didn’t think about how it would feel to see her hurt.
“I’m sorry, Sarina.” My voice is thick with emotion. “I’d do anything for you.”
“It’s okay.” She wipes her cheeks with her towel and smiles. “I’ll be okay.”
We both dry off and get dressed, but the mood is somber now. I get a text from McKenna that the chopper will be here in forty minutes and I want to throw my phone against the wall. I didn’t get enough time with Sarina.
I walk over to my travel bag and find the tissue-paper wrapped item I had delivered to the cabin two days ago. My heart is hammering like the rapid fire of a machine gun in battle.
This isn’t my forte, so I just thrust the handful of tissue paper at Sarina and say, “I got this for you.”
She takes it and unwraps the layers, her lips parting with surprise when she sees the brown leather cord of a bracelet. It’s simple, with just a single amber-colored stone adorning it.
“This is so unexpected,” she says softly. “Thank you, Ford.”
As she puts it on, I say, “The color reminds me of your eyes.”
She admires it on her wrist and then kisses me softly. “It means a lot to have something to remember this time. I wish I had something for you.”
I shrug. “I stuffed a dead mouse in my bag, so I’m good.”
Sarina laughs and wraps her arms around my neck, hugging me.
“I’m going to miss those rare jokes of yours,” she says.
I hold her close to me, closing my eyes. “I’m gonna miss everything. All of you. You’re an incredible woman. Don’t ever forget that.”
The clock is ticking, and that ends up being the only goodbye we get. By the time Sarina has packed up her samples, supplies and research notes, I get a text that the chopper’s here.
I want to see her safely inside it, but they send a team of HRT guys to the door for her. McKenna is right. They aren’t messing around with protecting her—the team has shields out and everything.
Once the door is open, we can’t let on that we’ve gotten involved. Sarina takes my hand and says a quick thank you and goodbye before the team sweeps her away.
I lean against the open doorway of the cabin, listening until I hear the chopper take off. When I close the door and sit down on the couch with my laptop,
I can’t bring myself to start writing my final report on this assignment.
I should feel relieved, because my mission is accomplished, but instead I feel a sense of emptiness.
Is it because she’s gone, or because the safety of the woman I’ve grown to care about is in someone else’s hands now?
I think it’s both. And even though I need to read reports to prep for my next assignment, I don’t know how I’ll be able to get her off my mind.
Chapter 15
Sarina
The charred remains of my lab are being scooped into the back of a dump truck by a front-loader tractor. All those precious years of working by Uncle Owen’s side only exist in my memory now. The tangible things, other than a few of his old textbooks, are now just ashes.
The insurance adjustor gave me time to decide if I want to rebuild the lab. For now, they’re just demolishing the old one and clearing the site. I almost couldn’t bring myself to come see this, but here I am. Two FBI agents are watching me from a sedan parked nearby.
Their names are Sela and Warren, and they’ve been my day shift surveillance team for the whole week I’ve been back home. Before that, I spent two days at Quantico being interviewed about my work and the explosion at the lab, followed by nearly three weeks at the CDC headquarters.
It was like a dream, having so many people and resources focused on my vaccine project. All the tests we did reinforced my findings about the formula and its ability to protect the lungs from airborne chemical agents. I met with scientists at the highest levels and spent quite a lot of time with the CDC legal team.
As long as the agency that funded my research grant gets credited for helping make the development of the vaccine possible, I’m giving all my findings over to the CDC. The work that leads to life-saving vaccines should never be for sale. Uncle Owen instilled that in me from the first time I set foot in the lab.
“Anyone who wants glory or money needs to find another line of work,” he’d said. “Research science is for people who want to make a difference in the world.”
And from the preliminary findings about the vaccine, we have. Uncle Owen already made a big difference in my world, but completing this project is part of keeping his legacy alive.
Special Forces: Operation Alpha: Protecting Sarina (Kindle Worlds Novella) Page 7
