by Rex Stout
Pitkin left her. "And take you, Mr. Hagh. What your claim amounts to in reality-you are demanding a share of the Softdown profits. Legally you may get something, I don't know, but you certainly haven't earned anything, and nobody related to you or connected with you has earned anything. Isn't that correct?"
Hagh's expression was tolerant. "It is perfectly correct, sir. I can feel no regret or embarrassment at being put in the class with the charming Mrs. Jaffee." He smiled irresistibly at Sarah, who was next to him.
Pitkin untwisted to his normal position, focusing on Wolfe from under his brows. He sniffed. "You see what I mean when I say that life is nothing but bookkeeping?"
Wolfe nodded. "It's not too recondite for me. How about Miss Eads? Wasn't her position essentially the same as Mrs. Jaffee's? Wasn't she also a parasite? Or had the interest she had recently shown in the business made her an earner?"
"No. That was no service to the corporation. It was an interference."
"Then she had earned nothing?"
"That's right."
"And deserved nothing?"
"That's right."
"But in a week she would have taken title to ninety per cent of the company's stock, leaving you earners with nothing but your salaries. Wasn't that deplorable?"
"Yes. We all thought so."
"You, perhaps, with uncommon warmth because you are fiercely anti-feminist and hate to see a woman own or run anything?"
Pitkin sniffed. "That is not true."
"So Miss Duday told Mr. Goodwin."
"Miss Duday is spiteful and untrustworthy. About women, I merely feel that they too should be subject to the rules of bookkeeping and be permitted to take only what they earn, and on account of their defects of ability and character they are incapable of earning much more than a bare subsistence. The exceptions are very rare."
Wolfe pushed his tray back, placed his palms on the chair arms, and moved his head slowly from left to right, from Helmar to Duday, and back again, taking them in.
"I think I've had enough of you," he said, not offensively. "I'm not at all sure the evening has been well spent-whether, as Mr. Pitkin would put it, it shows a profit or loss, for you or for me." He levered himself out of his chair and upright. "Mr. Parker, will you come with me? I'd like to consult you briefly before deciding where I'm at."
Taking the wall detour as before, he headed for the door, where Parker joined him, and they left together. I got up and canvassed for refills and got some takers, most of them leaving their seats. Viola Duday herded Sarah Jaffee to a far corner for a tete-a-tete. Andy Fomos crossed to them and joined in, uninvited; but in spite of their defects of ability and character they showed no signs of being in distress, so I didn't intrude. When everyone had been attended to at the bar, I propped myself on the edge of Wolfe's desk and closed my eyes and listened to the little hum they were making. I agreed with Wolfe-I had had enough for now, chiefly because I had caught no glimmer. Had he? I squeezed my eyes tight, concentrating, and the hum of the crowd kept me from hearing the door opening, but the hum stopped suddenly, and I raised my lids. They had returned. Parker crossed to Sarah. Wolfe came to his chair behind his desk but did not sit. He faced them.
"Miss Duday and gentlemen. I am not prepared to say yes or no. It's past midnight, and I must digest what I have heard and seen. I make only this commitment: Mr. Parker will take no step on behalf of Mrs. Jaffee until he has heard from me sometime tomorrow, and he will notify you in advance through Mr. Helmar."
Of course it wasn't that easy. Helmar objected, and Brucker, but the loudest and stubbornest protests came from Irby, Eric Hagh's lawyer, and Andy Fomos. Irby wanted the authenticity of his client's document explicitly acknowledged by everyone. Fomos wanted to know when he would be made a director and how much he would be paid. While that minor tumult was proceeding, Bernard Quest went quietly to Sarah Jaffee and spoke to her persistently, but I saw her shake her head several times, so apparently he wasn't doing so well.
First to give up and go was Fomos. He suddenly threw up his arms and dashed for the hall, and I had to step on it to get there in time to see him disappearing onto the stoop. Next was Viola Duday, with no escort, and then Jay Brucker and Oliver Pitkin together. Bernard Quest left alone, and Perry Helmar. The only one who thought it appropriate to offer me a hand to shake when I let him out was Eric Hagh, who left with his lawyer, Irby. Last to go were Sarah Jaffee and Nathaniel Parker. I felt magnanimous as I closed the door after them and put the bolt on. What the hell, let him take her home. I was still way ahead, with my coat-and-hat-disposal service.
As I started for the office, here came Wolfe, headed for his elevator.
"Which one?" I asked.
He halted, glaring. "Which one what?"
"Excuse me. I meant it only as a pleasantry. If you're as stumped as you look, God help your client."
He eyed me. "Archie. Do you know who killed Miss Eads and Mrs. Fomos?"
"No, sir."
"Do you think you know?"
"No, sir."
"I do-or I did-but there's a contradiction. What about Mrs. Jaffee? Is she a snake or a cheat?"
"No. Nice odds, say ten to one."
"Then I need to ask her something, after consideration. Will you please have her here in the morning at eleven?"
I told him yes, and he proceeded to his elevator. My bed would have to wait a little, until I had helped Fritz put the office in order, especially ashtrays and the remains of the liquid refreshments. He was already in there, and I went to join him.
Chapter 13
It was a hot night, and I had only a sheet over me, and it only up to my waist, so when the jangle of the phone roused me enough to realize what it was, my arm was free to reach and bring it to my ear. Awakened by it at night, I do not tell it, "Nero Wolfe's residence, Archie Goodwin speaking." For one thing, I am too indignant at the interruption, and for another, I am only one-fifth awake and not absolutely sure who or where I am.
"Yeah?" I said bitterly.
"Is this Nero Wolfe's house?"
The voice got me one-half awake. "Yes. Archie Goodwin."
"This is Sarah Jaffee. I'm awfully sorry, Mr. Goodwin, did I wake you up?"
"Not quite. Go ahead and finish it."
"I guess I should have waited until morning, but I thought you might have found them and wondered whose they were. Did you find any keys?"
"No. Why, did you lose some?"
"Yes, two on a ring, to the door downstairs and my apartment. They were in my bag."
"Where are you now?"
"I'm home in the apartment. I might-"
"How did you get in?"
"The elevator man. The night man has a key. I might have lost them in the Flamingo Club or the taxi, but I thought I ought to phone you in case you found them. I'm so sorry I bothered you. Good night."
"Wait a minute." I was sitting on the edge of the bed now, with the light on. The clock was ten minutes to two. I was fully awake, I didn't want to scare her stiff, but the situation did not seem ideal. "Don't ring off," I told her. "Is Olga there?"
"No, she doesn't sleep here."
"You went to the Flamingo Club with Parker?"
"Yes, we stopped for a drink and a dance."
"When did you miss the keys?"
"While I was coming up in the elevator. I went to get them from my bag, and they weren't there."
"Why not downstairs on the sidewalk?"
"I didn't look for them there. The night man was there with the door open."
"And Parker didn't go up with you."
"No."
"Okay. Don't ring off. Keep that phone at your ear and mouth."
"Why-what-"
"Nothing. A million to one it's nothing-you lost some keys, that's all. But after what happened Monday night I'm nervous about keys, and you might as well humor me. After the night man let you into the apartment, how long were you there before you phoned me?"
"I called you right away. I wanted to get yo
u before you were asleep. What do you mean, you're nervous about keys? You don't-"
"I mean I like you to some extent in spite of the bum coffee Olga makes, and I'm coming up there right away just to make sure. Where's the phone you're talking from?"
"In the living room."
"That's at the other end from the foyer?"
"Yes. Did you say you're coming up here?"
"Right. Will you take instructions from me?"
"I will if-yes. Of course." Her voice was not steady.
"Then listen. This is almost certainly a false alarm, but listen anyway. Don't ring off. When I say, 'Go ahead,' you say this to me, quote, 'I don't think so, but if you'll hold the line I'll go to the foyer and see if it's there.' Unquote. Do you want me to repeat that?"
"No, you don't need to."
"Sure you've got it all right?"
"Yes."
"Good. As soon as you say that, put the phone down-just put it down, don't ring off-and walk to the foyer, go straight to the outside door, open it and pass through and pull it shut with a bang. Go to the elevator and push the button, and keep your finger pushing the button until the elevator comes. Go downstairs with the elevator man and wait there till I come. Did you get all that?"
"Yes."
"Will you do it just that way?"
"Yes, I-I will."
"That's the girl. Don't forget to bang the door, because I'm going to keep the phone to my ear until I hear the door bang, and then I'll start. After I get there you can have a good laugh at me for being so nervous, and then we'll decide what to do next. For one thing, I'm a better dancer than Nat Parker, and it's only two o'clock. Are you listening?"
"Yes."
"I'm repeating it. When I say, 'Go ahead,' you say, 'I don't think so, but if you'll hold the line I'll go to the foyer and see if it's there.' As soon as you say that, put the phone down, go to the foyer, open the outside door, go out, bang the door shut, ring for the elevator, and keep your finger on the button until it comes. Go downstairs and stick with the night man until I arrive. Wherever he goes, you go. Will you follow instructions?"
"Yes."
"Are you all set?"
"Yes."
"Go ahead."
"I don't think so, but will you hold the line? Uh-hold the line, and I'll go and see if it's in the foyer."
Good enough, I thought, with no rehearsal. There was a little clatter as she put the phone down. I could hear no footsteps, but the living room had rugs. Figuring that fifteen to twenty seconds ought to do it, and that thirty was the maximum if there were no snags, I started counting as I heard the phone drop. I can count and never be out more than three seconds in five minutes. As I counted I remembered that I had told Wolfe, when he gave Priscilla Eads eleven hours to hide, that it was like run sheep run, but this was more like prisoner's base. The phone in the living room was one base, and the elevator outside was the other, and it was up to Sarah Jaffee to make the run without being tagged. It had been a lot of years since I had played prisoner's base.
That had darted through my mind by the time I had counted ten. From then on the strain of listening kept it empty. If she gave it a healthy bang I would unquestionably hear it. I got to fifteen, to twenty-no bang. Thirty. I had the phone pressed to my ear. Forty, fifty, sixty-a full minute. It couldn't possibly have taken her that long, but I held onto the damn thing, counting automatically-ninety-four, ninety-five, ninety-six…
I hung up, with my brain humming, but one thing was a cinch-I needed clothes. As I got them on, I considered. If I spent time calling the Nineteenth Precinct, which was nearest to her, I might or might not get a lieutenant who preferred acting to arguing, especially since my one fact was that a woman's keys were missing. There were several possible explanations for my not hearing the door bang, including the chance that she had failed to bang it. Various alternatives to calling the precinct offered themselves, but by the time I was dressed, and that wasn't long, they had all been discarded.
I ran downstairs to the office, got a gun and dropped it in my pocket, fixed the phone to ring on Fritz's and Wolfe's extensions, returned to the hall and descended to the semi-basement, entered Fritz's room, and gave him a shake. He let out a yelp.
"Out on an errand," I told him. "I'll be back when you see me."
He warned me to be careful, as he usually does when I leave the house on business, but I didn't hear it all because I was on my way, out through the area door and up four steps to the sidewalk. I headed east at a trot. At that time of night taxis on Tenth Avenue are none too frequent, and I made for Thirty-fourth Street and finally got one. Tenth Avenue was no good, with its staggered lights, so I had him go east to Park, and up Park. He did all right, as he should have with the finif I gave him in his pocket, and with that avenue as nearly open as it ever gets. When we turned into Eightieth Street, with the tires squeaking, it was 2:23, just twenty-six minutes since I heard her put the phone down. As we rolled to the curb in front of the address, I had the door open and was on the sidewalk before the car stopped. I had told the driver to wait, and had shown him my license to clear the way for some hasty request if I had to make one.
There wasn't a soul in sight. I went to the entrance door and tried it; it was locked. As I rattled it, peering in, a man in uniform appeared from around a corner, approached, touched the glass with his forehead, and looked out at me.
"What do you want?" he called.
"I want in!"
"For what?"
"To see Mrs. Jaffee. I'm expected."
"At this time of night? Nuts. What's your name?"
It was hopeless. This one had never seen me; he had not been on duty when I came Wednesday morning. He was obviously an underbrained dope. It would take minutes to explain, and he wouldn't believe me. If I persuaded him to ring her on the house phone and there was no answer, he would probably say she was asleep. I took the gun from my pocket, let him see what it was, knocked a hole in the glass with it, reached through and opened the door, and entered. As I did so I heard the engine of the taxi roaring, and a glance over my shoulder showed it starting off. That boy had fast reflexes.
I was pointing the gun at the dope, and he was standing with his arms straight up as far as he could reach. There wasn't a chance in a million that he was accoutered, but I gave him a few quick pats to make sure. "Have you seen Mrs. Jaffee in the last half-hour? Or heard her? Talk fast. Have you?"
"No! She came-"
"Into the elevator. Step on it! Sixth floor."
He obeyed. We started up. "You're crazy," he said. "That hackie will have a cop here in no time."
I saved my breath. The cage stopped. "On out," I told him, "and to Six B." He hooked the door open and preceded me along the hall. At the door of 6B he put his thumb to the button.
"I'll do that," I said. "You get out your keys and open the door."
"But I'm not supposed-"
That dope never knew how close he was to getting slammed down with a hunk of metal. I knew damned well I was too late, and it would have helped a little to clop eight or nine people, beginning with him. But as I gave the gun a jerk he went for his keys. For the record, I pressed a finger against the bell button and kept it there while he was unlocking the door. When he had it open I pushed him through ahead of me, but only two steps in he stopped, and I quit pushing.
She was lying off to the right, about halfway to the entrance to the living room, her body in a twisted position, one leg straight out and one bent. Her face was in full view from where we stood, and there was no question about being too late, as was natural in a case of throttling. She was not recognizable.
The dope made a movement, and I grabbed his arm and whirled him around.
"Christ Almighty," he said, and it looked as if he were about to blubber.
"Take the elevator down," I told him, "and stay there. The cops will want it."
I shoved him out and closed the door and turned. There was no time for a job, but a glance was enough. She had followed instr
uctions all right, but had never reached the outside door. Three paces from where she lay a closet door was standing open. He had been ambushed there, and, as she passed, had swung the door open and hit her with a bronze tiger, a bookend. It was there on the floor. He had then finished up with a doubled cord from a Venetian blind, also there on the floor. Everything was right there.
I went to her and squatted and tried to push the tongue back in, but it was too swollen. That and the eyes were plenty, but I picked a few fibers from the rug and put them over her nostrils and counted ten slowly. No. I got up and went to the living room and crossed to the table where the phone was. Yes, she had followed instructions; she had not rung off.
I picked up the receiver and cradled it, waited ten seconds, picked it up again, got the dial tone, and dialed a number. After only three rounds Wolfe's voice came. He was a sound sleeper, but it didn't take a sledgehammer to wake him.
"Hello?" He was as indignant as I had been.
"Archie. Get this, because we may be interrupted. Sarah Jaffee phoned me. Her keys were missing from her bag, and the elevator man had let her in. I said I would go up to her and told her what to do meanwhile. I came, and I'm phoning from her apartment. She did what I told her to, but she's here on the floor dead. Hit on the head and then strangled. The next time she's in danger she should phone someone else. I don't know when I'll be home."
"Archie."
"Yes, sir."
"I said it is vainglorious to reproach yourself for lack of omniscience. That is also true of omnipotence. Report in as you can."
"Right. Happy dreams."
I pressed the knob down and held it for a moment, let it up, and dialed WA 9-8241. There I got a break, and I never needed one more-Sergeant Purley Stebbins was on duty. I will not claim that Purley loves me, but at least he will listen sometimes. I got him.
"Yeah, Goodwin?" he growled.
"I have information for you," I told him, "but first I would appreciate an answer to one question. Have you got tails tonight on any of the suspects in the Eads case?"
"Who wants to know?"
"All right, skip it. Get this quick. There were ten people at our place tonight. The five from Softdown-Helmar, Brucker, Quest, Pitkin, and Miss Duday. Also Sarah Jaffee and her attorney, Parker. Also Eric Hagh-the ex-husband. He flew in today-"
