“Very good, well I am going to my garden,” she shot the new assistant a parting look; “make sure you mind Johnson. Good day to you both.”
Hunter only raised an eyebrow at that, and she turned on her heels, pulling Duchess off her backside and along the path. Unable to help herself, she had turned her head after less than a minute. Directing her gaze at the two gardeners as they walked off, Johnson a few feet ahead of the new man, who pushed the barrow along behind the older man. She felt a flutter in her chest when he turned and looked directly at her, a thoughtful look on his face. Discovered, she turned back to the path immediately, blushing as she passed under the folly into her garden.
She emerged from the shadows and onto the pebbled path with her face still burning and cursing herself silently for giving the man more attention than he was due. If she had been asked though, she would have had to admit that he was indeed very hard to ignore. This Fitzwilliam Darcy was quite possibly the handsomest man she had ever come across and his challenging stare intrigued her. She couldn’t help but ask how a simple gardener could have such self-possession...or was it arrogance?
She continued along the path, enjoying the warmth of the mid-morning sun, but barely noticing the spectacular reds, whites and yellows of the garden beds around her. The garden was heart shaped and covered a good half acre, the entrance being at the bottom point of the heart. The pebbled path traced the edge of the heart and in several places thinner paths trailed off it and into the center of the heart, where there was a grassed area with a small lily pond and some stone benches surrounded by a well-trimmed hedge… the heart’s very center. She found her way there almost unconsciously and sat down as though in a trance and began to pet Duchess as she lay on the warm grass.
Her thoughts were consumed by Hunter as she began to wonder why indeed he had looked at her as he did. She wasn’t naïve in the ways of men, and thought she recognised the look as one of admiration…attraction even, but she was used to more subtle graces. He was clearly a man who either didn’t understand manners, or didn’t care. She knew she should be angered, that’s how a proper lady would feel, but that look had unlocked something inside her.
Sarah suddenly shook her head, angry again at herself, sitting there like an infatuated girl. Robert would be back this afternoon, she would have to go and make sure preparations for his return dinner were coming along as planned. With an effort she pushed all thoughts of the handsome Hunter out of her mind and began to walk Duchess back to the main path, stopping every now and then to pull a weed as they did a full circuit of the garden before finally heading back into the grounds and to the manor.
3
Dinner that night was a stiff affair. Robert was entertaining a group of officers from the Lincolnshire regiment, and as their dinner conversation turned towards the situation in France Sarah found herself daydreaming of Fitzwilliam Darcy. How very different he was to her husband, not just in age but in the way he carried himself. Hunter was all coiled power and…dare she say it? Wildness. Her husband, while he had the self-command and assuredness of someone used to power, it did not seem a natural thing.
“…Sarah?”
Lady Acton jumped a little in her seat and stammered, “I’m sorry husband? I was…lost in my own thoughts for a moment.”
The gentleman all laughed politely and Robert looked at her, his eyes filled with concern. “Are you well?”
“Yes, I’m fine dearest Robert.”
“Excellent, I was just saying that my friends and I will retire to the parlor for brandy, will you excuse us?”
“Why of course dear. If you don’t mind I will retire early? I do have a slight headache.”
“Yes, do that of course.”
The gentlemen all bid her a good evening and Sarah summoned Laura to see her upstairs and ready for bed.
Sarah lay in bed after Laura had gone but could not sleep. The tall dark gardener consumed her thoughts and she hoped fervently that her husband would not deign to make one of his ever more infrequent visits to her bed tonight. As bad as she knew it was to think of another man, she was helpless to get the handsome face of Fitzwilliam Darcy out of her mind. She fought the base feelings that began to bubble through her body and eventually pulled the pillow over her head and screamed into it in frustration at Hunters successful incursion into her mind. She thought of things to distract herself and eventually she fell asleep while thinking of her family.
Lady Acton awoke the next morning with the sunlight streaming in her window and found that somewhere between falling asleep and waking up she had decided to visit her garden again in the hope of spying the handsome gardener once more. She summoned Laura and ordered a small breakfast. She knew that her husband would probably sleep until late morning after his travels and late night of the previous day and wanted to be back to share morning tea with him.
Sarah picked a flattering morning dress, all white and lace. She quickly dressed after breakfast and was in such high spirits that Laura remarked upon it. "You seem in a splendid mood this morning your ladyship..."
Sarah laughed, as she watched her maid brushing her hair in the looking glass. "Why as a matter of fact I am indeed. What is not to be happy about? My dear husband is home and the most glorious summer’s day awaits my pleasure."
With her hair gathered and draped down over one shoulder Sarah was satisfied that she looked alluring. If someone had asked her right then who she had dressed so nicely for she would have responded that it was for her husband so recently returned. Perhaps she even believed that, but in the back of her mind was also the possibility, nay the hope, that she would cross paths with the handsome Fitzwilliam Darcy.
Sarah sent Laura ahead to fetch Duchess for her walk to the garden and applied some rouge to her cheeks before she left her room in a rush, the last thing she wanted was for Robert to awaken before she had visited...her garden.
As she had the day before she took Duchess along the pathway towards the garden, this time however she attempted to surreptitiously scan the grounds around her for any sign of Johnson and his new hired hand. While she put on a gay and carefree display for anyone that might be watching, she was secretly nervous about meeting the rugged commoner again, but, as she neared the stone folly that guarded the entrance to her garden her nervousness was replaced by disappointment.
She breathed a long sigh when she passed under the gate and shrugged, resigned to the fact that she would not cross paths with him today. As she walked the winding path of her garden she began to chastise herself for being so silly. How childish of her to become all giddy over the first handsome man, a commoner no less, that had shown her any interest. As she turned off the main path and neared the center of the garden, she had persuaded herself that she must cease thinking of the handsome scoundrel immediately and find a new hobby to keep herself busy.
It was at that point that she rounded the final turn to the center of the garden and came to a sudden standstill as she found herself looking at the very man she had just promised herself not to think about ever again. He was trimming the hedge that surrounded the green heart, his muscles moving fluidly under the thin shirt that he wore. As soon as he spied her he stopped what he was doing and his rakish grin returned.
“Good morning Lady Acton. How does this fine day find you?”
It took a moment for Sarah to compose herself, then averting her gaze she said haughtily, “just fine thank you.” And walked through the opening in the hedge and led Duchess to one of the stone benches where she promptly sat and looked away, trying to make it clear that she had no interest in him.
She waited to hear the sound of his clipping again, but there was nothing and to her horror, when she turned to see what he was doing he was walking towards her mopping his brow with a handkerchief. Sarah’s mouth opened and closed, making no sound.
“Do you mind if I sit for a bit? It’s awfully hot work.”
Sarah finally found her voice and said, “well I do actually…” but he was already in
the process of sitting beside her. She looked at him, her eyes wide with surprise at the utter nerve of him. He looked at her levelly, an amused glint in his eyes and she immediately shuffled away from him so that she was seated on the opposite end of the bench. Rather than dissuade the confounded man, this only seemed to amuse him and he turned towards her, raising his right leg onto the bench so that he could look at her without turning his head.
Sarah’s heart began to race, he looked a sight as he sat there totally in command of the situation, the neck of his shirt was open and enough of his tanned, chiseled chest was shown to tantalize her imagination. She deliberately averted her eyes from him and reached down to stroke Duchess as though he wasn’t there.
“So what does a lady of the manor, so young, do with her days in a place like this?” he asked.
“Well it’s none of your concern really, is it?” she said without looking at him. Almost immediately she wished she could take back the harsh words. She glanced at him to see what affect her words might have had on him, his smile had disappeared but his gaze had only intensified.
“No you’re right; it’s none of my concern. I was just being polite. A concept that you don’t seem familiar with. I’ll leave you to the company of your dog, Lady Acton. Good day.” With that he stood and turned.
“Wait!” Sarah blurted, standing and taking a step after him. She didn’t seem in control of her own body. He paused his stride without turning back. “I’m sorry, that was… rude of me.”
He turned now, his eyebrow raised slightly as though wanting more. She stepped closer to him, “I just wasn’t expecting anyone to be here when I took my walk. You took me by surprise.” Now standing directly in front of him she felt quite giddy, she had not yet been this close to him and she found herself wondering how it would feel to fall into those strong arms.
He looked around and then smiled gently. “It is a beautiful garden, almost as beautiful as its owner.”
Sarah blushed furiously at the forward compliment, but thankfully he didn’t turn to look at her. “Well I wish I could take credit for the garden but it’s over two hundred years old and will be here long after I am gone. You are a very confident fellow for a gardener…”
Now he did look at her, his expression unreadable. “For a gardener? Yes I suppose I am, but then I wasn’t always a gardener.” Sarah waited for him to expand on this mysterious comment but he didn’t. “And you? What’s your story Lady Sarah Acton? I’ve seen your husband, he is a lot older than you…was it a marriage of convenience then?”
Sarah reddened again, this time in anger. “How dare you!? You insolent beast!”
He held his hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry, that was a little blunt wasn’t it.”
“Rude is the word,” she snapped and began to turn. His hand found her forearm and she could feel his strength as he gently stopped her from walking away.
“Please stay, you’re right, it was rude of me.” He looked at her pleadingly and she relented, allowing herself to sit back down. “My mouth often gets me in trouble, once again I plead guilty.” He shook his head ruefully, “I am a witless fool when I am in the presence of your beauty.” Sarah felt a thrill at his words, and his very proximity was generating an unmentionable reaction in her body.
“What, you think me so beautiful that you are unable to control your own tongue?” She teased and placed her hand on his arm now. He looked at her and said quietly, “Why yes, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.”
Sarah’s mind was in a spin. They stared at each other a long moment and when the handsome Fitzwilliam Darcy leaned closer to her, she didn’t know how to respond; suddenly mortified that he might try and kiss her. She snatched her hand away and stood suddenly but not before, Johnson, the gardener witnessed the intimate exchange. He had come up the path to the garden’s heart and was peering over the hedge at them. When he saw Lady Sarah stand he ducked away quickly, for a man of his age, and quickly moved into the bushes beyond the hedge.
“I must be getting back; Lord Acton will be having his breakfast. Until we meet again Mr. Hunter.”
Hunter stared after her, his eyes thoughtful. When she was out of sight he turned back to his work, his face a study of concentration, although it had nothing to do with the task at hand. Johnson joined him a few minutes later; he did not mention Lady Sarah but also looked thoughtful as he went about his tasks.
4
Sarah met her husband for morning tea and he attempted to entertain her with stories of his trip to London. She was polite and attentive, but her thoughts were consumed with Fitzwilliam Darcy and the feelings she was developing for him. If Robert noticed her distraction he didn’t say anything. Rain set in that afternoon and for the next three days Sarah was in a fugue state, wondering when she would see the handsome gardener again.
Such a prolonged period of distractedness eventually came to the notice of Lord Acton, and Sarah pleaded illness to cover her mood. Each passing hour seemed to make it worse, she could not stop thinking of Darcy and whenever she lay down to sleep it seemed to get worse. As did the guilt.
On the fifth day the sun cleared and Sarah went for a morning walk as soon as she had broken her fast and gotten dressed. Much to her disappointment Darcy was nowhere to be seen in the grounds or the garden. She dared not enquire as to where the gardeners might be working on the estate, so as not to raise suspicion. She dallied as long as she could in the garden but eventually went in for lunch. She returned in the afternoon, telling Robert that after so many days cooped up because of the rain, she wanted to enjoy ‘Lady’s Retreat’ as much as she could while the clear skies lasted. Again she found no sign of Darcy, and she returned to the manor at 2pm. She was advised by Jeremy the squire that Lord Acton had gone into town for business and wouldn’t be back until late in the evening. He would be dining in Spoonbury town.
Sarah was quite relieved; it meant she wouldn’t need to pretend to be anything other than heartsick. Yes heartsick. She had come to the realization that her feelings for Darcy were more than just an infatuation, and yet she was at a loss as to how the situation could resolve itself. She asked Laura to have her evening meal prepared and brought to her at 6pm and told her she didn’t want to be disturbed for the rest of the afternoon.
Sarah went upstairs, opened her door and stopped dead in her tracks. On the floor in front of her was a beige colored envelope, it had been slipped under her door. She stooped and picked it up. It was addressed simply ‘Sarah’.
Her heart began to pound as she turned it over and pulled open the flap. Inside was a crisp white sheet of paper. She pulled it free and unfolded it to reveal a letter in the finest hand.
Dear Sarah
I wish to apologise for my behaviour in the garden. It was wrong of me, but when I am around you the strangest things happen in my head. You see…I think you should sit down, before you read what follows.
As though he were in the room with her she took his advice and sat down on her bed as she continued reading.
You see, I think I am in love with you. I know it sounds ridiculous, given that I’ve only talked to you once, but I think I have loved you from the instant I saw you. You are beautiful and while I know you are married, to a lord no less, I would not forgive myself if I let this opportunity pass me by.
I know you have probably torn up this letter by now, but if by chance you are still reading, and feel the same way as I do, please come to your garden tonight at dusk. I will be waiting in the hope you come to me. If you don’t I will understand entirely and will abide by your decision. I shall leave Acton immediately upon the morrow as I would spare you the embarrassment and shame of having to look upon me in the days ahead. There are also selfish reasons, as I could not bear to be so close to you and not have you in my arms.
I shall await you at dusk, if not, fare thee well Lady Sarah Acton, you will be in my heart forever.
Yours
Fitzwilliam Darcy
Sarah’s hands were trem
bling as she read the letter through again. His missive struck her like an arrow, straight and true, to her heart and her hand fluttered weakly to her throat. She didn’t think it ridiculous at all, she too had been able to think of little else but Darcy since they had met and the chance meeting in the garden’s heart had done nothing to lessen his hold over her. As she sat pondering his words, she forgot the social gulf between them. She forgot it all, her husband, her family, her position. All that mattered was him and of course how she would proceed. She had already decided to meet him at dusk, but as yet she had no idea what she would say or what would happen. She lay on her bed until Laura arrived with her supper some three and a half hours later, her head spinning with possibilities.
She dismissed Laura as soon as she brought the meal and told her she didn’t want to be disturbed for the rest of the evening. The minutes ticked by like hours but eventually the light of the afternoon began to fade.
Sarah dressed appropriately for a walk at dusk and at the last moment put a shawl around her shoulders before opening her door and walking confidently through it. Much more confident than she felt.
Sarah passed young Jeremy on the way down to the servant’s entrance. “I am going for an evening walk through the garden Jeremy, if Lord Acton returns before I am back please let him know.”
“Yes Lady Acton.”
She crossed paths with no-one else and went out through the door closing it quietly behind her and joining the path. She didn’t rush, in fact the cool evening air seemed to sober her as she began to realize how much of a folly the whole adventure was. The fact was, she was married and even with the feelings she had for Darcy, their fondness for each other could go no farther. It was a hopeless situation. She resigned herself to telling him just that, far better to tell him face to face than to leave him wondering if she would ever turn up. She couldn’t bear to hurt him anymore than she knew she had to.
Darcy's Dark Desires Page 5
