by Laura Ward
“You like the cheerleaders, Just Finn?” He nodded, and I looked up at Grace. She twisted her mouth, but I could tell she was smiling. “None of them are as pretty as your mom though.” She pressed her lips together and looked away.
Finn reached over and grabbed his mom’s pinky finger. “That’s true. My mommy is the most beautiful in the world.” At his words, Grace relaxed. She leaned down and kissed his lips, making a loud popping sound. They both giggled, and my chest tightened.
I stood up and handed the bag to Grace. “I brought donuts,” I said, grinning when Finn whooped and then sat down at the picnic table like a perfect gentleman.
Grace’s eyebrows rose high on her face. “Why?” She asked as she sat the bag down on the table.
“Why what?” I pulled out a stack of napkins and handed a few to Finn. He reached into the bag and placed three large donuts on his napkin. I liked this little dude more and more.
“Chocolate are my favorite! Yes!” Finn cheered.
“Why did you bring donuts? Why are you here? And how did you know where we were?” Grace took one donut off his pile and placed it back in the bag, shaking her head at Finn when he opened his mouth in protest.
I handed her a donut from the bag and then grabbed two chocolates for myself. I took a big bite, chewing, and swallowing before I answered her. “I was hungry. Felt like a donut. Thought you guys might too. And I asked your neighbor.” I ate the rest of the donut in another two bites and moved on to the next.
Grace looked at the donut in front of her as if it could answer all these questions she had. “I never told anyone what park we were going to.”
I grinned and held up my phone. “Google Maps rocks. Now eat that. It’s called a cronut. It’s what happens when a donut and a croissant breed.” She laughed, and something inside me warmed. “I should have asked you what kind you like. Tell me what your favorite is so I know for next time.”
Grace stilled, and she studied her hands.
“Well?” I reached into the bag and pulled out another cronut. “Cheers!” I knocked my pastry against Finn’s, and he giggled. Grace looked between us and sighed, her shoulders sagging as she made her decision.
“I’ve always liked glazed.” She took a small bite and let out a low moan. “But this might be my new favorite.” She swallowed and then looked at me for a few seconds before speaking again. I could almost see her weighing her choices and trying to decide how to handle me. I wanted to laugh, but I was pretty sure I’d be ejected from the park if I did. “Thank you… Dean.”
I winked. “This great company’s thanks enough, Red. Now after this fuel, I want to check out the swings. Sound good, Just Finn?”
Finn squealed and high-fived me, his hands sticky with sugar and chocolate frosting. “Yes!”
Grace handed Finn his water bottle and a wipe. “Water?” She held up a bottle, and I nodded.
I took a long drink. Finn stood in front of me buzzing with energy from his sugar high. That was probably why Grace didn’t let him eat that third donut. “I’ll meet you on the swings, little dude. Give me five minutes.” Finn nodded and raced back to the playground.
I turned to Grace. “I hope you aren’t mad that I came here. I can’t stop thinking about you.” I couldn’t. That was why I passed on a hookup last night and why I was at a playground park on a Sunday. This beautiful girl had some kind of hold on me.
“I don’t want your pity, Dean. Finn and I are fine.” She crumpled a napkin in a ball. Her body was stiff again, and her mouth flat.
Damn. That wasn’t my intention. “No pity. None. But I do admire you. I think you’re different from anyone else I’ve met here at college. I’d like to get to know you better…” Her face flushed pink, and she chewed on her lip. Aw hell, she was freaking out on me. “As a friend. I’d like to have friends like you and Finn.” I took another drink of water. I felt desperate for her to agree. “If that’s okay with you.”
She studied my face before answering. “Okay. Friends.” She didn’t smile, but she also didn’t seem angry or like she might hit me. That was a step in the right direction.
Yes! I wanted to pump my fist in the air, but I stayed calm. I could tell Grace rattled easily. “Okay.” I reached over and squeezed her hand, still balled into a tight fist. Then I headed for the swings. I hadn’t played on a playground in well over ten years. Hanging here with Finn, though, made for a pretty damn good Sunday morning.
***
“YOU’RE LATE.” JON took a bite out of his hamburger, and I slid into the seat across from him. He chose the same booth, toward the back of the diner. I wasn’t sure if Grace was working today, but the thought that I could bump into her again made my heart pound faster in my chest.
I grabbed a fry off his plate, ignoring his glare as I shoved it in my mouth. “Sorry. Workout went long today.”
Jon wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Where’d you go yesterday? A couple of the guys and I did a bar crawl downtown. I texted you… never heard back.”
Shit. I wasn’t ready to tell Jon or anybody else about Grace and Finn. There was no way he’d understand, and if he gave me a hard time about her, I was pretty sure I’d punch him right in the face. “Out. Had stuff to do.” I studied the menu and avoided my best friend. Growing up, I was close to four guys. Jon, Landon, Ricky, and I had been tight ever since we met in elementary school and ended up all playing ball together in high school. After we graduated, Landon went to school out West, and Ricky stayed home in Indianapolis, attending community college. Now we only saw each other during the summers and holidays.
Except for Jon and me. We were teammates and roommates. He knew everything about me. But I wasn’t sure he needed to know this information.
“What stuff? Or were you doing Leslie? Mary? Chantal? The entire cheerleading squad?” Jon threw his balled up napkin at me and laughed.
“Hi… Dean.”
Grace’s voice was soft and hesitant. Hearing it made me hard. Girls made me hard all the time but not from just speaking. I looked up at her, her bright red hair in a braid, face pale, save for the pink flush on her cheeks. I checked her out from head to toe. She wore the diner’s old-school uniform. A blue and white dress with a white apron. On anyone else it would be dorky. On her? She looked fucking cute.
“Hi, Grace.” I smiled, and her blush deepened. Her face changed color in time with her emotions. The times I’d watched her expressions and the color of her face change directly correlated with our conversations. Based on our interactions, I could tell the shade she would turn if she was shy, worried, or mad. I liked that it was kind of a window inside of her. I wanted to see more. What shade would she turn if I touched her? Kissed her?
Right now her blush seemed nervous, and I needed to figure out how to change that. I wanted Grace to feel comfortable around me. “How are you?” I asked her.
Jon looked back and forth between Grace and me, his eyes wide. Grace didn’t smile back. Instead, she seemed stiff and kind of awkward. Again, it was fucking cute.
“I’m fine.” She pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. “Know what you want?”
Damn that girl was cold. I thought after the park that we could at least talk to one another. “Are you working all day?”
Her eyebrows pulled together, and she stared at me in silence. “Working this afternoon, and then I have a class.” She looked around the restaurant and chewed on her lip. “I have to get to another table. What can I get you to eat?”
I didn’t look back down at my menu. “Surprise me.” I handed it to her and rested my arm along the back of the booth.
Grace dipped her head and studied me again. I’d pay all the money in the world to get inside her mind for a few minutes.
“All right. I’ll bring you the special.” She turned to leave but stopped and took a deep breath before facing me. “I don’t mean to be rude. Thank you again for the donuts. And for coming to the park. You made his day.” She gave me a small lopsided grin that was so goofy it wa
s adorable.
I was one hundred percent certain that a happy Grace was the most beautiful sight in the world. And I was learning that whenever Finn was happy, so was Grace.
“I had fun too.” I reached up and squeezed her hand, but she yanked it away.
“Excuse me? Miss?” A customer waved to Grace.
She straightened, smoothing the skirt of her apron and nodded at the customer. “I’ll put your order in.”
I turned back to Jon, who sat, mouth open, hamburger in hand, staring at me. “What?” I snapped.
He closed his mouth and dropped his sandwich on his plate. “The fuck?”
My jaw clenched, and I narrowed my eyes at him. “Words, fuck stick. Speak.”
“You’ve been hanging out with that waitress? You brought her donuts? And whose day did you make? Does she have a boyfriend?” Jon pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m so confused.”
“None of your business,” I spoke through gritted teeth, and Jon reared his head back.
“I’ll repeat—what the fuck? Are you fucking her?”
My brain hadn’t fully processed his words before I was leaning over the table, grabbing a handful of his shirt and pulling his face close to mine. “Watch it. Watch your damn mouth.”
Jon ripped my hand off his shirt and shoved me back. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
I looked around the diner, hoping like crazy that Grace hadn’t seen all that. She’d hate that kind of attention. “She’s my… friend.” Jon’s eyes looked like they were about to bug out of his head. I couldn’t help but chuckle at his expression. “You’re such an ass. I can have friends, you know. It is possible to be friends with a girl.” My words weren’t honest though. While Grace and I were starting a friendship, I wanted more. I knew I shouldn’t, but I did.
Then again, I didn’t think friends were supposed to make you hard as steel when they looked at and talked to you.
Jon took another bite of his burger and chewed slowly. “Okay.” He swallowed before speaking. “You have a friend. Her name is Grace. You’re just friends. What about that other part with the donuts and somebody else?”
I looked around again before answering. “She has a son.”
“No shit,” Jon yelled.
“Shut up,” I whispered. “Yeah, she’s a college student and a single mom. I met her kid, and he’s a cool little dude.” Jon continued to stare at me, so I went on. “I got them tickets in the family section to last Saturday’s game. Then on Sunday I wanted to see if they had fun, so I brought them donuts. At the park. And we played together. You know, on the swings and shit.”
Jon rubbed his hands over his face. “Did you just listen to your own words, Dean? Seriously?”
I sat staring at one of my best friends in the world, and I couldn’t answer him. The fact that Jon would be shocked by the way I chose to spend my Sunday was not a surprise. I shocked the shit out of myself on that one. What bothered me was that his reaction was honest. I had never had girls that were friends. I’d never been unselfish enough to want that, and my best friend knew that about me. That sucked.
What seemed like a lifetime later, a plate of barbecue chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans was placed in front of me. My stomach growled in anticipation. Grace placed a large glass next to it indicating it was sweet tea.
I looked up and couldn’t help but smile. Her blush was back, this time creeping down her neck toward her chest. How far down would that pink travel? My gaze lingered on her breasts before I realized it and had to shake the thought out of my head. “Damn, Red. This is perfect. Thank you.”
She nodded and looked over at Jon. “Can I get you anything else?”
He stared at her for a long beat. “My friend here needs a lobotomy. Can you help out with that?” Grace winced, and I kicked Jon’s leg under the table. “What the hell?” he yelled, rubbing his leg.
“We’re good, thanks.” I shrugged, hoping she’d think my friend was weird and not assuming he was talking about her. Me. Us. Finn.
Grace bit the bottom of her lip and left without another word. I took a bite of my food and groaned.
“What are you doing, man?” Jon pushed his plate away and leaned in.
I took another big bite. “Eating.” Grace’s choice was spot on. This was food like my ma made.
“You know what I mean. You’re a whore. You’re also a football beast. You’re going to get drafted. And not like you don’t know this already, but getting drafted means lots and lots of pussy.” Jon’s eyes glazed at the thought. “You know what does not get you lots of pussy?” He paused, and I kept eating. “Dating a single mom with a kid. That’s insane.” His last two words were loud, and then he smacked his hands on the table before he sat back.
I drank my sweet tea and glared at him. “We. Aren’t. Dating.” My best friend was pissing me the fuck off. “Just. Friends.” I stabbed at the green beans like I’d like to stab at Jon’s hand with my fork. “And why do you care?”
Jon grabbed his backpack and moved to leave the booth. He pulled out his wallet and threw money onto the table. Slinging one strap over his shoulder, he leaned over to my side. “’Cause my mom’s a single mom. You grew up with June and Ward motherfucking Cleaver as parents. Me? I saw assholes skate in and out of my mom’s life. They hurt her, and they hurt me. Fuck if my best friend will be one of those guys.” My stomach dropped at his words, and I pushed my plate away.
“Do her a favor. Do the kid a favor. Hell, do me one. Stay away from a family that is obviously fragile. I love you, man, but you’re a giant dick. You’ll only end up hurting them.” He turned and stormed out the door.
I scrubbed my hands down my face. Holy shit, he’s right. Despite what I said to Grace, I couldn’t stay friends with a girl that I was attracted to like I was with her. But what was the alternative? Grace wasn’t a one-night stand type of girl, and I was so not looking for a relationship, least of all with someone who already had a child. I wasn’t ready to be somebody’s daddy. I was too young and too selfish for that.
I really was a dick. I didn’t know Grace and Finn that well, but I knew they didn’t deserve to be around a dick. I stood up and threw my money onto the pile on the table. As I reached down to grab my backpack, I saw Grace standing close by. Her face was pale, and as she dragged in a breath, she gave me a short nod. She’d heard. Everything. I didn’t know what to say about that. I didn’t know what I wanted anymore or if what I thought was right. I headed for the door, and when I turned back to tell her good-bye, she was gone.
Chapter Eight
Grace
I NEVER LEFT work for the day without some sort of food. Sylvie was a giver and loved to feed people. She wouldn’t rest unless she knew that Finn and I had something home cooked for dinner. What I didn’t know was that she was also a seamstress.
Finn jumped into Sylvie’s open arms, wrapping his body around hers in a massive hug. “Miss Sylvie! Thank you so much!” Sylvie laughed and clapped her hands as Finn leaped across the room, his red, blue, and yellow superman bodysuit perfectly fitted, the shiny red cape flying behind him.
“Thank you.” I kissed her soft, wrinkled cheek and watched tears fill her eyes. “Finn doesn’t know his grandparents, and you’ve taken him on as if he were your own.”
Sylvie wiped her eyes with a handkerchief. “I never married, never had kids. You and Finn are my family, Gracie.”
Gracie. I didn’t stop her from calling me that, but it killed me a little each time. My parents and Sylvie were the only people who called me Gracie. I missed my mom and dad. Almost five years had passed since we had spoken to each other. Before things went bad, we had been close. They had loved me and been proud of me, or so I thought. I didn’t foresee us ever reconnecting, and that made a part of me ache.
Sylvie and I hugged good-bye, and then Finn and I left the restaurant, ready for trick-or-treating. Living in family housing on campus allowed life to feel more normal for Finn, but I knew very few of our neighbors would
be answering the door for a trick-or-treater. Luckily Amy had invited us to come to her neighborhood.
As we walked across campus, Finn jumped on the brown and yellow leaves, crunching them under his gym shoes. My mind wandered to Dean. As hard as I had tried to avoid it, I kept thinking about him. I attempted to convince myself that I only thought about him because he was a hot guy. But for the past week, each time he’d crossed my mind, I focused on how he’d seemed to care about me and my life.
I’d heard his friend loud and clear. He wanted Dean to stay away from us. I was unsettled by the whole conversation. He was Dean’s friend, and yet it sounded like he thought poorly of him. I couldn’t ignore the fact that this stranger, Jon, wanted to protect my son and me from Dean, but I felt strangely defensive over Dean. In the short amount of time I’d spent with him, he was kind, funny, and polite. Why would Jon assume he would hurt us?
Everyone on campus knew about Dean’s reputation with girls, but I’d never believed he was a bad person. He acted like a normal college student. I was the one who was different.
I was more bothered than I wanted to admit, however, about how he ended our friendship. As soon as Jon called him out, he walked away. No good-bye. No explanation. We hadn’t spoken again, and he hadn’t come back to Maria’s to eat. Thank God I hadn’t let Finn get close to him. As it was, I was going to have to explain that Dean was busy with football and unable to go to the park anymore. Finn would be disappointed, and that pissed me off.
“C’mon, Mama!” Finn tugged on my hand, and we crossed the street into Amy’s neighborhood. The idyllic tree-lined road was filled with stone and brick homes, stately but not off-putting. Many faculty members lived in these homes and raised their families there. Amy stood on her front porch, which was decorated with mums and pumpkins, waving to us.
Finn jumped up and down, his orange plastic pumpkin banging against my legs. “Hello, Miss Amy!” Finn waved back. “You stay right there. Let me practice.”
