by Desiree Holt
“Matt,” she began.
“Not today, Reenie.” He was smiling but there was a warning in his voice. “Just for today can we please accept that what we just did was beyond phenomenal? That something special is developing between us, even though neither of us expected it?”
“I can’t do that. Please.”
She twisted her fingers together, disgusted with the situation and with herself. But she seemed to have lost all self-discipline where Matt was concerned.
“Reenie, listen—”
“This can’t work between us. I know that. I should know better than to be alone with you. Because when you touch me my brain goes to sleep and that’s not good.”
“Reenie—” he began again.
“No.” She nibbled her lower lip. “I’ll agree with you the sex is hot. Okay, incendiary. Outstanding. But that’s no foundation on which to build a relationship.”
“You can’t build anything if you keep running away from it,” he pointed out.
“You know as well as I do it’s only good until the next female catches your eye and I’m done playing that game.”
“Are you going to let me say something here?” he asked, his voice edged with irritation.
“No, because you’ll just try to confuse me. I shouldn’t have come out here today, but I really thought Amy would be here. And I’ll take half the responsibility for what just happened. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want it as much as you. But I can’t do this anymore, so please don’t ask me to.”
“I think we could have a lot more here than sex, but you’re too stubborn to even give it a chance. So I made a fool of myself when we met. Can’t we get past that?”
She could hardly believe they’d had this whole conversation naked. What was she thinking of? They dressed in an awkward silence, Reenie avoiding all eye contact with him.
“I think I have what I need,” she told him. “I really need to get home.”
Matt stood, barely the space of a sheet of paper from her, his warm hands resting on her shoulders. “I’ll say this once more. Don’t keep running away from this, Reenie. At least give it a chance to find out what it really is.”
She looked away. “Been there, done that, got the broken heart to show for it. I can’t go through it again. Sorry.”
“You’re judging me on someone else’s actions,” he argued.
“But you’re just like him. A player. A partier with a string of women from here to San Antonio.”
“That’s harsh, Reenie. You don’t really know me at all.”
“I know enough. I know the type.” She shook her head. “That’s not for me.”
He put his hand under her chin and turned her head so she faced him. “What is for you? Tell me, so I’ll know.”
“Something I don’t even know if we could have. If you even want with anyone. I’m sure it will sound stupid to you, but I want roses. Champagne. Chocolates.”
“So I messed up not bring them when I came to apologize?”
Reenie bit her lower lip. “It isn’t just the…the stuff. It’s what it means. Amy and I used to talk about our dreams and I had a specific one that dealt with that special man in my life, whoever he turned out to be.”
Matt chuffed in frustration. “Maybe if you give me a clue I can be that person. Ever think of that?”
“On the strength of two very intense times together? I don’t think so.”
“Reenie, some people date for years and never feel the connection you know we have. What is it you think I can’t deliver?”
She looked at him sadly. “Forever. Guys like you just don’t stick around for forever. Just take me back to the ranch, Matt. Please. And next time you want to see me, set up a meeting at the office.”
The ride back to the ranch was accomplished in complete and uncomfortable silence. Matt’s simmering anger was almost palpable. As soon as he pulled up in the yard Reenie jumped down from the seat and raced into the house to get her purse and keys. Matt caught up with her just as she opened the door to her car. He grabbed her arm and pulled her around to face him.
“Just tell me one thing,” he insisted, eyes blazing. “Answer one question for me.”
“What?” she asked. “What do you want to know?”
“What is it you’re so afraid of? Tell me what.”
She looked at him a long time, then whispered, “Myself.”
Chapter Six
“She won’t talk to me about it.” Amy tossed her keys on the counter next to her purse. She had just come from lunch with Reenie, and Matt had been waiting nervously to hear what happened.
“She won’t say anything?”
Amy shook her head. “She’ll talk about the fundraiser, girl stuff, people we know, but that’s it. And if I want to keep my friendship with her I’m not going to push it.”
He raked his fingers through his hair, a gesture of frustration. After that first time he’d thought it was just really, really good sex with maybe a little something extra thrown in. Reenie was smart and funny and classy and talented, and… He was driving himself crazy. He’d always thought it took a long time to build a relationship and fall in love. He hadn’t counted on Reenie Davenport, who’d blindsided him like a tornado. Now she was all he could think about. All he wanted. For the rest of his life. The realization still stunned him.
“She won’t take my calls,” he said. “Won’t let me see her except in that damn office with a million other people around her. How am I supposed to fix this if I can’t get her alone? Or get her to open up to you at least so I know what the problem is? I swear, Amy, I haven’t done a damn thing wrong.”
“Except walk in drunk and naked the first time you meet her.”
“Is that what this was all about?” He stared at her. “Is that what she can’t get past? Because I’m telling you, Amy, we are good together. Really, really good.”
She held up her hands. “Too much information. Spare me the details of your sex life.”
He shook his head. “It isn’t just sex, although that’s off the charts. She’s…she’s…special. Very special. She’s…Reenie. Funny, smart.” He gave a half-grin. “Smart-mouthed.”
Matt was as stunned by his feelings as his sister was, especially in such a short time span. He used to keep himself at a distance from people. Oh, he was friendly enough and socialized like everyone else did. But he never let a woman get too close. He couldn’t say why. Just that the thought of tying himself down to one woman gave him chills. Yet somehow, in a very short time, he didn’t get that same feeling with Reenie. And he still barely knew her.
If only he hadn’t made such a spectacle of himself that first night. Then she might take him seriously.
Oh. Wow. Seriously. There was a word he never used with a woman. But now…
Damn, damn, damn. He had to figure out a way around this. He wanted to take her out on a real date. Lots of dates, but he had to get that first one under his belt.
Amy cocked her head, studying him. “I’ve never seen you like this. You’ve really got it bad, haven’t you?”
“Worse than you can imagine.” He paced the kitchen. “Go ahead and laugh. I’m sure you find this hilarious.”
“Only because the last thing I ever expected was to see you fall this hard. I mean, this is ‘settle down’ hard, right?”
“Yup. Last thing I ever expected when—”
“When you fell naked at her feet?” Amy said again and giggled.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I admit it’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.”
“And unlike you,” she agreed. “Okay, I’ll tell you this much, because you’ve got a high wall to climb. You’re dealing with the aftereffects of Asshole Aaron.”
He lifted his eyebrow. “Asshole Aaron?”
“Or Mr. double A, as Reenie and I call him. A very fitting name.”
“What did he do that’s made her put up such high walls?”
“He’s a lot like you, brother. Except for the asshole part, of co
urse.”
“Shit, I hope so.”
“Anyway, he too had a long line of women that he went through like paper towels. He sold Reenie a bill of goods that he was reformed when he met her. Wanted to settle down with just her.”
“So what happened?” He could barely hold back his impatience.
“She came home unexpectedly from a conference and found him tucked in bed with two females.”
Matt flinched. “Ouch. That hurts.”
“You bet. It damages the heart and the soul. But that wasn’t all.”
“There’s more? What else could there be?”
“He was also screwing the director of the agency where they worked and sabotaging her projects. So now you know why she’s so gun-shy. And why when you did your famous naked flop she lumped you in the same bag with him.”
“But that’s not me,” he protested. “You know that. I shouldn’t be hung for one mistake.”
“You’re a player,” Amy pointed out. “You can’t get away from that.”
“But not like Asshole Aaron. I just enjoy women.” He rubbed his forehead in frustration, trying to hold back the headache building behind his eyes. “And now I’ve found one I’d trade all the others in for if I could just get her to give me a chance.”
He was acutely aware of his sister studying him for a long time while he paced, massaged his temples and cursed under his breath.
“They always say the biggest ones fall the hardest,” she told him. “I guess they’re right.”
“Go ahead. Stick the knife in deeper. I guess I deserve it.”
“Maybe you do.” She sighed and hitched herself up on one of the bar stools. “But I’ve known you longer than Reenie has, so I know what’s really inside you. I’m going to help you, Matt, but you have to swear to me in blood that you won’t do anything to hurt her. If you have any reservations at all—”
“None,” he said quickly. “I swear to you. Honest to God, Amy.”
“Okay, okay. Then sit down and listen, and I’ll tell you what to do.”
Reenie was tired beyond belief. The week had dragged by as if each day was weighted with concrete. No matter how she tried, she couldn’t get Matt out of her mind. He popped up in her dreams, or his voice whispered to her in the quiet of the night. She could still feel the touch of him over her, under her, inside her. It wasn’t bad enough she’d had to get through a full staff meeting about the event at Stark Ranch with Matt there plus a lengthy meeting with him one-on-one. Sitting there showing him what she was doing with the website and going over event details without running from the room took every bit of discipline she had.
If she really didn’t want to be with him that would be a different story. But every cell in her body screamed for his touch. Every bit of her wanted to do what he said—get to know him more. Better. Just like he’d pushed her to do.
Okay, so call me a coward, but I don’t want any more pain or disappointment. Who needs men anyway? I’ll get through this fundraiser and that will be that.
Now it was Friday at last and she just wanted to hide out in her townhouse and pretend she’d never met Matt Stark. Seen him naked. Done—
“Hey, Reenie,” one of the graphic artists called, thankfully interrupting her line of thought. “We’re going out for some drinks. Want to come with?”
Did she? She hadn’t really put any effort either into a social life or connecting with the people she worked with. She needed to do something about that but right now she was barely good company for herself.
“Thanks anyway,” she said. “I think I’ll just go home and fall into a bubble bath with a bottle of wine.”
Sheila, the artist, made a face. “That’s only fun if you share it with someone.”
Reenie laughed. “I’ll put that on my list. But please, ask me again, okay?”
“Sure. Have a great weekend.”
It will be great, all right. I’ll be black and blue by Monday from kicking myself in the ass.
The trouble was, she didn’t know if it was because she’d let her guard down with Matt not once but twice or because she’d pushed him out of her life.
I made the right decision. Guys like him don’t stick around for long. Asshole Aaron taught me that.
She parked her car in its usual spot behind her unit, unlocked her back door and let herself in. Dumping her purse on the counter, she kicked off her sandals and then pulled a half-empty bottle of chardonnay from the fridge and a wine glass from the cupboard. She’d meant what she told Sheila. She’d be spending the night drowning her sorrows.
But when she entered the living room she stopped dead in her tracks, nearly dropping the wine. A trail of rose petals led from the front door through to the stairs, and from what she could see, each riser was littered with them. The scent of them drifted on the air and from somewhere upstairs her favorite instrumental, Spanish Guitar, was playing softly.
What the hell? Who’s been here? And how did they get in?
She climbed the stairs apprehensively, doing her best not to crush the rose petals with her bare feet. The music seemed to be coming from her bedroom, getting louder as she drew closer. The door was halfway closed and she pushed it open, almost afraid to see what was in there. Had Amy, who now had an emergency key to her place, decided to create an atmosphere to ease the tension that had been building all week? A mini-spa trip in her own place? It would be just like Amy to do something like that.
But whatever she’d been expecting it wasn’t the sight of a totally naked Matt Stark stretched out on her bed, covered with rose petals. On the nightstand was a large silver bucket with a bottle of champagne nestled on a bed of ice. At the foot of the bed was a pyramid of Godiva chocolates in different sized boxes. And balanced on the hard lane of his stomach was a square box with a red bow on it. For once in her life she was speechless.
Matt grinned at her, that wicked grin that teased and tempted her. “Glad you could make it. I sure was hoping you didn’t plan on working late.”
Reenie set the bottle of wine and the glass down carefully on her dresser, then pinched her arm to make sure she wasn’t imagining the whole thing.
“What are you doing here? And how did you get in?”
“I’m here on a mission. And your next door neighbor who keeps your spare key is a sucker for a good romance.” He winked. “I’m sure glad I guessed right about the key. I didn’t want to have to bribe a locksmith to come out here and get the whole neighborhood suspicious.”
She couldn’t seem to do anything but stare. “What romance? And what’s this all about?”
“If you’ll come close enough,” he told her, “I’ll be happy to tell you.”
She shook her head, her stomach doing flip flops and her heart hammering so loudly she was sure he could hear it. “Talk first. Then we’ll see if I come closer or toss your naked butt out the door.”
He heaved an exaggerated sigh. “Like I said the other day, you’re tough, but okay. Here’s the short version.” He was completely serious now and Reenie’s hands began to tremble. “I’m not giving up on us, Reenie. I may have spent most of my adult life—and part of my adolescent one—indulging in a variety of women. I won’t argue that point. But there comes a point in everyone’s life when he or she meets someone and it’s time to get serious. For me, that point came when I met you. I mean really met you. Sober. Not butt-naked drunk.”
Now her whole body was trembling and she had to sit in the little slipper chair or risk falling down.
“But how do you know? Other men—”
“Other men aren’t me,” he interrupted. “I badgered Amy into telling me about Asshole Aaron because I wanted to know what had locked you up so tight. I hate that he hurt you, but I’m not him.” He reached out a hand. “Come here, Reenie. Please. Just for a minute.”
She managed to make it over to the bed on unsteady legs and sat down, but well out of reach of his hand. “What?”
He gestured at the nightstand and the bed. “I brought i
t all, Reenie. The champagne. The roses. The chocolates. And a couple of other things. Pick up that box. I don’t know how much longer I can keep it balanced on my stomach anyway. Go ahead. It won’t bite. I promise.”
She reached out a tentative hand and lifted it off his body, put it in her lap and just stared at it.
“You have to open it,” he told her, his mouth kicked up in that grin again.
She untied the bow very slowly and lifted up the top. Inside was a little black book and a small velvet pouch. She opened the book first and her jaw dropped as she flipped through it. Every page was filled, but they all had her name written on them. All of them.
“What is this?” she asked.
“I told you I didn’t have a little black book, but I got one and put your name on all the pages. Just so there wouldn’t be any mistake about who I’m planning on spending my time with.”
When she picked up the velvet pouch he reached out his hand and clasped his fingers around her wrist.
“Amy told me about the dreams y’all shared in college. I can’t go back and undo the hurt you’ve suffered, but I can make the rest of your life better. If you’ll take this as a start.”
She could barely get the pouch open she was so nervous. She pulled out tissue paper and when it fell open inside was a ring.
“Not a diamond,” he told her. “It’s too soon for that. But if you take this we’re on our way.”
The ring was a silver band with three raised roses on it. When she looked inside she saw Forever engraved in flowing script. Reenie could barely see her eyes were so clouded with tears.
“Well? Are you going to put it on or toss it back at me?”
She heard the uncertainty in his voice and it opened something in her heart. She slid it onto the ring finger of her right hand, then held it out so the light from the lamp could catch its glint. For once in her life she was speechless.
Matt sat up, knocking aside the rose petals and reaching for her. His hand caressed her jaw, stroked the column of her neck.
“I love you, Reenie. And I plan on sticking around a long time to prove it to you.” He lifted the hand with the ring and kissed it. “I’m hoping you’ll like life on a ranch. It’s a good life. You could even quit your job if you don’t want to commute and I can set up an office for you at the house. You’re talented enough to run your own web design business. But it’s whatever you want.” He paused, waiting. “So? What do you say? Take a chance on me, Reenie. On us. I love you and I think we can get to forever.”
