“Tell me you didn’t like it,” I counter.
“Oh, I loved it, but now you’re going to get a little taste of what I’ve gone through.” He moves to kneel between my feet and begins massaging up the front of my legs. “You know how hard you made me? Don’t you? Of course you do.”
I hear the smile in his voice and see it through the sex-need haze in my eyes.
“Towels and compression shorts definitely couldn’t hide or camouflage all this.” He looks down and indicates the package between his legs.
I can’t help but giggle.
“Yeah, you’re laughing. You totally knew what you were doing,” he insists, massaging the muscles in my legs as I’m watching him. “Kneading my muscles, while I attempted to ‘relax,’ and it only made me harder. All the way up my thighs …” At this, he comes up to the very highest point of my thigh. It takes every bit of willpower I possess not to jack my hips to make him touch the one place I need him to so desperately. “Just missing the sensitive area of my balls so that I had to hold my breath and stifle moans, begging you in my head to go just a little higher … but no, you never did.”
He strokes to the edges of my most heated place. “How’s that self control working for you now, scrapper?”
“You’ve proved your point,” I whine.
“Not yet, I haven’t. Not thoroughly. Flip, Ms. Garner, it’s time to work your back.
I don’t move fast enough, so Josh flips me impatiently over onto my belly. His hands begin up under my hair, coaxing tingles through my body by working my scalp with his fingertips. As he travels down my neck and shoulders then down the planes of my back, I can feel from his strokes that he’s growing impatient. I love how he’s torturing himself as much as he is me. I think of opening my mouth to call him on it, but realize that would be against my own best interests.
“This is the sweetest, curviest ass.” Josh fills both his hands with my flesh.
“I can’t take anymore!” I get to my knees and press that curvy ass against the steel rod in his trousers. We both moan in anticipation.
In a heartbeat, Josh strokes my vagina—spreading me apart to reveal the overflowing dam that has broken with all his attention. I’m breathless.
“I’m going to get you so high, baby.” The pad of his thumb brushes over my clit.
I can’t see him, can’t touch him like this—he has all the advantage. Next I feel Josh blowing warm air over my heat. His mouth is so close! The tip of his finger tempts my opening. He swirls the finger around almost absentmindedly, until I scream.
“Please, do it!” I beg. “I need it. I need you.”
“Yes you do,” Josh says as he licks and nibbles the skin of my thighs. At times he gently sucks my flesh into his lips.
I cry out and tuck my head over my shoulder to throw him a pleading look.
“Tell me.” His voice is strong and sure. “Tell me what you want.”
I’m quiet. I’m burning.
“It’s just you and me. There are no rules. You’re safe. You can let every inhibition go.”
I’m shy. I hate it, but I am. I should have known a man like Josh would want animal lust. I want it too … but I’m scared to go there.
“Let me tell you what I’m going to do to you once you give me the word. I’m going to swipe my very hot, very hungry tongue over that gorgeous, wet and ready pussy of yours. I’m going to plunge my tongue as deep as I can get inside of you. I’m going to rub you with my nose, lips and chin until I’m full of you, full of your scent, full of your sweetness, full of your need. Because you can’t reach me or touch me in this position, you’re going to be clawing at the mattress and wringing the sheets in your fists as you climb higher and careen toward the most powerful fucking orgasm you’ve ever had—”
“Josh!” It’s a plea.
“Sophie?!” He’s not budging.
“Do it, please …” I say.
He doesn’t move.
“Lick me.”
“Lick you.” His tongue plays up the side of my thigh.
“Lick my pussy, please lick my … pussy.” I force it out. I feel empowered, sexy. Quickly, I catch myself on my elbows as Josh lifts my legs off the bed, parts them and dives his hot, clean shaven face over my vagina.
OH. MY. GOD.
Everything in my body shifts to focus on his ministrations. And he’s right; it feels like deliverance, sustenance … salvation.
His hot tongue breaks me apart one swipe at a time. He’s slow and purposeful, like he’s got all night. He stays, gently lapping at my clit until I feel the tremors shoot through my core.
“I love the feel of you swelling in my mouth,” he says before dipping his tongue into my opening, making me whimper.
My forehead presses against the silken sheets as Josh’s tongue delivers my pure wetness back over my engorged nerves.
I’m there; my hands fist the sheets, and I hear him growl and purr in gratification or satisfaction or both. I’m nearly screaming between pants for air and moans as the deepest pleasure I’ve ever felt begins to crash over me.
“JOSH!” My body comes so forcefully, the bed shakes as I tremble.
He throws me over so I’m on my back. I’m fucking gone, I can’t think past the desire, the heat and this man, ready to take me.
While I writhe on the bed with no self-control and probably no dignity, Josh is watching me, salivating as he undoes his pants, quickly stands up and pushes them off and away.
“You’re taking too long,” I whine and paw at my own breast and the broken delta between my legs.
Josh smiles at his handiwork and, in an instant, has rolled on a condom. “I’m going to bury myself so deep inside you.
“Yes,” I beg and curve my hips up to greet the swollen monster between his legs. I hope this isn’t our first and last time, because I want to feel it in my hands and mouth and trace the thick veins with my fingers and tongue.
He fists his own cock and covers me with the full heat of his body. Oh, he smells so good, aftershave, musk and man. His muscles and skin radiate with heat and I run my hands over his shoulders.
“I’ve craved you since I laid eyes on you,” Josh says as his tip urges me open. I spread my legs further and squeeze his arms.
It’s big and sears into my being as if I’d never had sex before. He stretches me until I’m engorged with him. My teeth bite into his shoulder.
“Oh fuck! Sophie!” Now Josh is the one panting. “You feel so fucking good … I knew you would. Fuck, how I fantasized about this!” As he begins to pump in a slow steady in and out rhythm, my body is consumed in a turbulent amalgam of deep, deep pleasure and white hot pain from his size. “Oh Christ, you’re tight! Come on, baby, relax your legs and let me have you.”
I try. I’m excited and nervous. What the fuck?
“Look at me, Sophie. My eyes.”
I do, they’re soft and brown, filled with sexy wanting and power, but still comforting. Reassuring. He lifts my leg and settles it over his shoulder.
Oh my God, that’s deeper! I’m about to protest, but his mouth closes over my breast, and he watches my face as he sucks and licks and waits until I melt into him.
The moment I do, I can feel it; the pain from my own tenseness fades. I accept him fully.
Josh stares intensely into my eyes. As I wonder what he’s thinking, he smashes his mouth onto mine with a force that claims ownership.
His hips jack, his dick thrusts, and my greedy walls surround him and stroke him. I’m set aflame until there is nothing left of me except my oneness with Josh.
We release together with a violent force. Both of us have wanted each other all this time. Denied passion when realized and reciprocated is powerful.
Josh pulls me into his arms, my back curved and insulated, nuzzled into the front of his body. His hard chest is a protective shell around me, and his arms hold me strong.
And here I go again, pretending he’s mine. Imagining that we could be a family. Pretending I c
ould be loved like this. I soak up his warmth for just a few more minutes, relishing it, believing in it—sometimes-fabricated faith is just as potent as the real stuff.
All too soon I’m nudged into action. The tick of my watch, the change in his breath telling me he’s falling asleep.
I wonder who he is in real life, in real time. He’s been on his best behavior; men always are when they’re reeling you in.
My light and happy mood waxes ominous. What happens when a man as powerful as Josh becomes angry? I shudder.
Carefully, I slip myself from his grasp and light-foot it to the bathroom. Scenarios play out in my mind as I wash up. Angry because he steps on a toy in the middle of the night? Angry because he’s sure you’re sneaking around, fucking someone else? Angry because you burned dinner? Or didn’t make his drink fast enough.
I breathe through the panic. What am I doing here? Josh could break me in the blink of an eye. I remind myself how tender he is with Charlie. Unwelcome tears creep into my eyes. Falling for Josh North could be as easy as rain. Getting away from him when it turned sour …?
I’m already as good as dead, I think.
I can’t be here, doing this! I should have kept the job at the hospital. I knew this would happen. And didn’t a part of me want this to happen, beg for it to happen?
I won’t regret it.
Josh North, don’t make me regret it.
We’re not a couple. One night doesn’t create a couple. I’ll be aloof in the morning and let things be as they always were. Honestly, that’s probably how he wants it to be anyway.
You’re mine, Josh had said.
I could recall when those words would define a romantic possession, a feeling of belonging to one another and the adhesive of a loving couple … but that was before Jim said them, and they became a chilling threat and a deadly promise.
It’s at least three a.m., and even though I know Charlie is right down the hall, safe and sound, my body shakes with trepidation. I have to get to her.
Quietly, I pull on my clothes. For a moment, I suspend all thought just to watch Josh sleep. My heart aches for him already. A tear runs down my face, and I brush it away impatiently. I can’t let this happen. I won’t let this happen.
Escaping the room—and my volatile imaginings—I get back into my own room. Charlie is asleep in my bed. I smile down at her soft, innocent form. She’s never been hurt; she’s never known fear at the hands of someone who is supposed to love her. And with all my strength I’ll make sure she never does.
As soon as the three months working for Josh are up, I’m out.
Chapter Twelve
Sophie
“That was the worst wake-up I’ve ever experienced,” Josh whispers under his breath while looking behind me, making sure Britt is really out of earshot.
“I doubt that,” I say coldly and look out the window to our left.
“Ouch.” He’s upset, but I see more hurt in his eyes than anything else. I don’t see the anger that I had expected.
Now he gets on a sexy little smirk. “Didn’t I please you? Were you not satisfied?”
I sag like a rag doll in my chair just thinking about how much he pleased me. And damn it, I can’t not smile!
“Yeah, that’s what I thought, so why the Houdini?” He leans on his elbows over the table.
We’re sitting at breakfast in the hotel dining room. This morning, Josh knocked on my door so early that Charlie wasn’t even awake yet. I pried myself away from her and saw through the peephole that it was him. I opened the door with the chain still engaged.
“Can’t let you in, just got out of the shower,” I lied, hiding behind the door.
“I’d like to talk to you.”
I was sure he would.
“I’m hungry,” Charlie called in a sleepy voice. The knock must have woken her too.
“Perfect, I can take the two of you to breakfast,” Josh said cheerfully.
I could tell from the look on his face when we met him in the dining room that he hadn’t expected me to bring Britt along.
Now, she’d gotten up to use the bathroom, and I knew he saw this as his chance.
“Drink your milk, sweetheart.” I push the cup into Charlie’s hands to distract her and then lean in to meet Josh’s face. “Don’t get me wrong, I had a great night last night, but now it’s time to get back to the real world. I know your M.O., I know your lifestyle, and you don’t owe me a thing.” I sit back up and take a bite of my eggs, trying like hell to appear nonchalant.
A wounded expression ghosts over him. “You don’t understand.”
Definition: I understand too well.
“I want to see you again,” he tries.
“You see me every day.”
“That’s not how I mean.”
“Can we see the mermaids again?” Charlie interrupts.
“Business.” I poke my finger against the table. “We have a business contract, and I can’t let myself cross the line … again.” I’m dead serious.
“Who did initiate that first move, anyway?” Now his cocky grin comes out. Glad to see he’s not daunted. “Come out on a real date with me.”
“No.” My eyes catch Charlie as her little head twists back and forth between Josh and me throughout our conversation.
“Dinner and a movie, nice and easy.”
“No … thank you.” I smile politely as a show for Charlie, who smiles back at me.
“Sophie, I want to spend time with you.” He is almost pleading. “Look me in my eyes and tell me you don’t want to spend time with me.”
I can’t. “Look, I’m not going to see you out of any business related context, so if you want to spend time with me, you’ll just have to … I don’t know … teach me how to fight.” I almost laugh. I had been about to say ‘get hurt,’ but I didn’t want to jinx a superstitious fighter.
“Perfect!” He sits bolt upright and looks like he won the jackpot at a poker table.
“What?” I hadn’t meant it!
“What did I miss?” Britt asks as she slides into her seat.
“Sophie here is going to train with me and learn how to fight.” Josh couldn’t sound more proud.
“Really?” Britt looks at me, intrigued.
“Mommy’s gonna punch!” Charlie throws a right hook.
*****
“I can’t believe you talked me into this,” I bark.
“Hey, you asked me, scrapper.” Josh grabs my waist in both his hands and just about lifts me off the floor. “You have to keep your stance strong and balanced. Get your right foot back behind you and lead with your hip because that’s where your power is.”
Josh literally forms his body to mine and moves me as if I were a puppet. “When you release your punch, your entire body needs to be behind it.” My right knee is slowly pushed in by his right knee, and my right arm lays over top of his. As one body, we extend toward the canvas sparring bag.
“Is this how you train all your students?” I ask doubtfully.
“I’ve never trained a woman, but I’m definitely enjoying it.”
I roll my eyes, but it’s good-natured. I’m surprised he held me to this. I thought we’d only been joking that morning in the hotel, but here we are, after hours in the Williston gym, just the two of us.
“What kind of workout routine do you normally do?” he asks.
“Dance aerobics and some yoga.” I’m a little embarrassed. “Really, just to DVDs. I usually exercise when Charlie naps.”
“It’s been hard for you to get out and take time for yourself, hasn’t it?”
“Yeah.” You have no idea.
He gets serious. “Self-defense is an excellent discipline—mind, body, psyche.”
Self-defense. What began as a joke is now making me wonder. Most controlling men do not want to empower women. “Why would you want to spend your time off teaching me fight moves?”
“Why is it so ridiculous for you to believe that I like you and want to get to know you more
? And this is my world.” Josh looks around the empty gym. “I’m comfortable here and never get bored with it. Besides, every woman should know how to defend herself. There are a lot of assholes out there.”
*****
For the next two weeks, between his own training and working with the fire department (which he does part-time, and usually during the night shift), Josh spends all his free time with me. We begin running mid-morning at the local high school’s indoor track. At night, when everyone else has gone home, Josh goes over punching, hits, kicks and full body moves that will allow me to disable an attacker. He’s very stern about proper “oxygen intake,” or what I like to refer to as “breathing.” He makes me drink a protein shake with him after every run, and he has me pounding the shit out of Buster the sparring dummy. Just two weeks of dedicated practice has made a definite difference; I’m feeling stronger, more conditioned and more confident than I have in years.
“This isn’t a fight for entertainment or to show how strong you are. Real fights are decided within the first moments. Punch the throat—it’s an exposed, vulnerable place. Then go for the groin and get the hell out of there,” he explains. “Now do it.”
“Do what?”
“I’m coming at you, and I want you to come at me for real.”
I laugh nervously. “I can’t do that. I can’t hurt you on purpose.”
“I guarantee you’re not going to hurt me,” he says. “I need to feel your strength.”
I swallow the knot in my throat.
“You’re scared,” Josh states.
“Maybe—” I don’t finish the word before he has me in a vice grip.
“Use the fear, let it fuel your adrenaline … channel it.”
It works. My heart is pounding, my breath has quickened and I need a place to put that energy. I jab an elbow into his ribs, and it loosens his hold enough for me to twist around to face him. He grabs my arms, but my instinct kicks in and I remember the move to break loose. The instant my arms are free, my right fist slams against Josh’s Adam’s apple and then the left heel of my hand connects with his nose. When he reaches up to protect his face and neck, I drive my knee into his groin. I feel the strong plastic cup cradling his jewels, but it doesn’t distract from the lesson. I turn and run until I reach the far wall. When I do turn around, I see Josh smiling while blood from his nose runs over his teeth.
Dare Page 12
