She saw in his eyes that he would do it, and she thought fast. “No,” she finally said. “No, you’re right. I need to face this. I’ll take care of it.”
Mindy had taken a deep breath before she walked back out of the swinging doors. She didn’t want to do this, but she needed to do this.
Jack and his friend were just getting up from the booth. Jack looked up when she pushed the doors open. He hid it quickly, but the look of naked surprise bled quickly into pleasure before he locked down a more neutral, calm expression. She wanted to run and hide, but she needed to tell him the truth. And if she was going to be entirely honest, she’d had no idea how she was going to pay for the ongoing medical care as she needed to go to more regular appointments, never mind how she’d pay the hospital bill. She had no idea what Jackdaw’s finances were like, but maybe he’d be able to help out in some way? Plus, it only seemed fair to tell the man about his child. He hadn’t treated her badly, exactly, he’d just treated her without a lot of consideration. That could be worked through in a way other things couldn’t.
“Can we take a ride?” She held her gaze firmly on Jack’s face, refusing to look at his friend. She willed him to see what she was offering, what she needed. It only took a moment for him to nod.
“Cook’s okay with you taking off?” His voice lifted at the end like he was asking a question, but she sensed that it was absolutely a statement.
“Yeah, he understands.”
Jack nodded, then glanced at his friend, who nodded back. “This way,” Jack said, gesturing towards the diner’s main door. She walked out the door, and it amused her just a little that she knew which of the two bikes parked outside the diner was his. He handed her the helmet again, and she strapped it on, then climbed onto the bike behind him. “I know a place,” he added, his voice quiet and conversational, not acting like this was a momentous occasion that was going to shake both of their lives all the way down to the ground. Mindy put her head on his back, wrapped her arms around his waist, and held on tight.
Chapter Eight As he sped out of town and onto a dusty old road, she decided that she could get used to this whole motorcycle thing. The combination of the intense vibrations of the engine and the feeling of Jackdaw’s solid body against hers had her breathing hard, and that was before the exhilaration of flying down the road in near perfect freedom.
She hadn’t really explored Providence; she’d lived and worked there, but the more she saw of a community, the more she wanted to stay there, and that made it harder when the time came to move on. Jack took her just outside the city limits and then turned the bike off the road entirely. He slowed down dramatically and led them down a dirt road that was lined on both sides with trees. She let herself relax a little, leaning back and admiring the view. And then they came out of the trees, and a big open body of water lay in front of her. She gasped just a little; she knew there was a big lake nearby, but she hadn’t thought of how big it might be. She’d never bothered going to check it out.
Jack cut the engine and walked the bike to a spot under some trees where a bench had been planted down into the ground. He set the bike down and helped her off, but didn’t immediately drop her hand once she was on both feet next to him. He made her body sing, even now, and she spent a moment luxuriating in the sensation of feeling someone else close to her who she was attracted to. She’d been uninterested in partnered sex since she’d found out she was pregnant; it wasn’t that she felt unattractive, just that it felt pointless. She was so horny, but she wasn’t the kind of horny that would be fed by sex with someone she didn’t know. Her vibrator had gotten quite a workout the last few weeks, but holding his hand, she couldn’t help remembering his hands on her body, lifting her up so that he could split her open…
She shook her head to banish the thought. She was here on a mission, but now that she was standing there, and he was looking at her expectantly, she couldn’t find the words.
Mindy let her hand fall out of Jack’s and walked to the edge of the water. She bent down, surprised at how much Bean was already constricting her ability to move. She’d never realized before that pregnant ladies had such a firm, unyielding mass in the center of their bodies, and how much it changed movements and posture. She managed to get down there and get her hands on a few flat, rounded rocks. She skipped them out into the open water, enjoying the sound of the rock moving over the mild waves. She appreciated that Jack didn’t come up behind her or try to talk to her. He gave her the space she needed to find her own peace with the words she needed to say.
“I can’t prove it,” she finally said, three or four rocks in. “I mean. I can tell you I know it’s yours, but I can’t prove it, so if that’s where you’re going to go with this conversation, let’s just be done already.”
She glanced behind him, but he was shaking his head. “If you say it’s mine, I trust you. Timing’s right and God knows we weren’t careful.”
“I was on the pill,” she said, and she tried to push the defensiveness out of her voice. “But I missed a couple because—well, there we were—and I guess that was enough.”
He nodded this time. “I’m not looking to blame you. I was there. I could have said no, either not done it, or gone for condoms. This isn’t your fault.” He was quiet for a bit, then seemed to settle on the right words. “I’m not saying it’s not a lot. I never planned to be a father. But there’s a lot I didn’t plan, and I’m not going to disappear on you. If you’re keeping the baby, I want to be there for everything you’ll have me for.”
“We don’t know each other much at all.” She wasn’t sure if she was trying to talk him into staying or out of it. Maybe the fact that she wasn’t sure was a good thing? She didn’t know that either.
“That’s true,” he said. “But it seems we’ll have some time to change that.”
She considered. She considered doing it all on her own, but having the freedom she’d always craved, and she considered committing to this town and this life and this choice. She wasn’t sure at all when she nodded her agreement, but it was at least worth a try.
“Alright,” she said. “Okay. But I need to know. What are we talking about right now? Are we going to be, what? Co-parents, friends, or a couple?”
He held his hand out to her, and after a moment, she dropped the last rock she was holding back to the dirt and walked to him, letting her fingers tighten in his. “When you’re here, like this, what are you thinking about?”
She forced her breath to even out. “It feels good to be holding your hand.”
“Just good?” There was something in his eyes, a spark, that made her think it was much more than just good for him.
Mindy took a breath, decided to be brave, and then stepped closer to him. Jackdaw wrapped his arms around her waist as she stepped into his arms and put her hands on his chest. She could feel his heart underneath it, big and strong and solid. “This feels better.”
He exhaled deep and slow. “How about this?” He tugged, and she was tight against him. The bump was in the way, making it more awkward than it had been before, but not so awkward she wanted to step back.
“That’s very, very good.” She tilted her head back to look at him, and he obliged her with a kiss. The press of their lips together was electric; sparkling through her in such bright arcs that she thought her fingertips might overheat and light his shirt on fire. It wasn’t the mindless passion of that first kiss in the tiny, dirty room, but it was more than a friendly gesture. She felt him swell and stiffen against her, and she wrapped her arms tight around his neck, pulling herself up onto her tiptoes. He steadied her weight, turning against her to deepen the kiss as his tongue brushed over her mouth. He sought entrance to her like a man coming home after a long journey, and she opened to him eagerly. It didn’t take much to get her eager these days, but between the vibration of the motorcycle and the heat of the kiss, she felt control slipping through her fingers. She groaned into his mouth, and he responded in kind.
“What
are the rules?” he murmured. “Can I touch you? Can we hurt it?”
“We’re not going to hurt it,” she said. “You can touch me.”
He didn’t need another word; his fingers were lifting her skirt, pushing aside her panties, and plundering her body. She stiffened fast, her body on high alert. His attention was so fierce that she almost lifted up off her feet. She clung to him, her knees going weak as he circled her clit, fast and tight. How did he remember just the right rhythm after so many months? After those few days, he’d played her body like a master musician, but she’d been so sure she’d forgotten.
“Jack,” she murmured into his mouth. “Jack, oh God.”
“Let go,” he whispered back. “Come for me, Mindy-girl, come for me and come back to me.”
She did, and she did.
Chapter Nine The difference in how Mindy held onto him as they headed back into town was subtle, but he couldn’t help but notice it. She was resting on him instead of holding herself away. It felt beyond amazing. Having her on his fingers like that had been incredible, feeling her silent orgasm as she shook against him, cradling her after as she cried—it had been the sort of thing he never dared to dream of. He found himself thinking of her in terms of a family; lives spent together, growing old together. He’d never considered that he was a man who could have a future before. He’d thought he would be a brutal soul floating from place to place until he ran out of time and died alone.
But having Mindy resting against him, he couldn’t shake the idea that maybe it could work out. Maybe he could be enough of a person to be with her. To be a father to the baby. She called it Bean, it turned out. She’d told him the story, and he’d found himself brushing his fingertips over her bump like a man entirely smitten. He regretted that he was only here now; that he hadn’t been there during the first few months when it sounded like things had been hard. When she’d needed someone to hold back her hair and tell her it would get better eventually.
But he also needed to admit that it wasn’t going to be as easy as he wanted it to be. What he’d said to Bodhi was true; if the Wardens got wind of this, they’d be merciless. They’d come at him through Mindy. They still blamed him for the death of Grim, and they didn’t believe any evidence to the contrary. They’d do anything necessary to hurt him. So, he was going to have to do something to protect the woman and his unborn child. Maybe bring her to the clubhouse and set her up in his suite. It was a nice place, really, not the old bar sort of man’s club that the Wardens had, back when they and the Chain Gang had been interchangeable. She’d be happy there, and he’d be able to keep her safe. Absolutely. The more he thought about it, the more it made sense. He needed to protect both her and the baby. The best way to do that was clearly to keep her where he could see her.
As they cut through the wind, he felt the conviction grow; he couldn’t let Mindy go back to that apartment on her own. He’d seen the outside; it wasn’t a safe place. It wasn’t bad, not by any stretch of the imagination, but it wasn’t a good apartment. It wasn’t safe. Not for the mother of his child. They’d stop by the diner so that she could let Cook know everything was all right, and so she could collect her things, and then they’d be on their way. He’d take her to the clubhouse, send some of the girls by later to pack up her things, and he’d have her in the perfect place. Where he could protect her.
He pulled up to the diner with those thoughts in his mind and cut the engine to the bike in the dust outside the front door. Cook was standing outside, bouncing on the balls of his feet, with a straight-up squirrelly look to him. Jack didn’t like it at all; he’d never quite worked his way around to trusting Cook, not all the way. The man was decent enough, but he had some dark stuff in his past, stuff most people in Providence didn’t know about. Nothing horrible, but gambling debts, some old drug problems, things like that. Someone could apply a disproportionate amount of leverage to the man, and he’d crumple like tin foil. That just wasn’t the kind of guy who made it safe for a club, but tradition was tradition. God knew the Chain Gang had seen enough trouble in the past few years without him looking to start changing around small things like where the club spent their time. It would work itself out eventually.
But seeing Cook out there like that, when he was already feeling so protective of Mindy; something inside of him just snapped taut without warning.
“What are you doing out here?” he asked as soon as the roar of the bike’s engine died off.
“You two ran off,” Cook said, and Jack didn’t believe the note of concern in the man’s voice, not for a moment. “I was worried something was wrong.”
Jack scoffed, and he felt Mindy sit back behind him. “Come on,” he said. “Ran off? You saw the girl come out to talk to me. Saw us head out.”
“You were gone a long time,” Cook snapped, and then Jack felt the tingle of concern in his stomach snap into full-throated worry. There was something going on with Cook, and he didn’t know what it was, but he didn’t like it. Bodhi had already taken off, and Jack found himself looking for snipers and checking for bolt holes. He didn’t like how easily he slipped back into that mindset, but there was no denying that being on high alert had saved his life more than once. He didn’t like it, but it was still a skill worth having.
“Back off,” he heard himself say, his voice belonging to a different man from a different time. Behind him, he heard Mindy hiss his name, but he didn’t pay her any mind. He was between her and danger, and he was going to make sure she was alright. Not just because of the baby, though that would have been enough, but also because of her. Because she mattered to him. Because she’d come back to him when he asked her to. “We’re just here to collect her things and be on our way.”
He heard Mindy’s drawn in breath behind him, and he considered for a moment that it was possible he wasn’t doing the right thing. But he pushed that consideration away. It wasn’t helpful; it didn’t meet the goal of protecting the woman and her baby.
Cook looked confused. “What do you mean? Collect her things?”
Jack wanted to punch the other man, right in the stomach, and then walk over his writhing body to get what he needed. “That’s what I said. I’m taking her to the clubhouse where I can watch over her properly.”
“Jack.” Mindy’s voice wasn’t loud, but it was sharp, and it cut through the growing fog around him, the fog borne of training and experience and the need to survive. He glanced back at her and was surprised to find anger all over her face.
“What?” Okay, it wasn’t the best or most insightful question he’d ever asked, but he didn’t think he entirely deserved the look of pure hatred that shone over her face when he spoke.
“What the hell do you mean by ‘I’m taking her to the clubhouse where I can watch over her’? I don’t know if you’ve got some other girl on the side because there’s no way you asked me what I thought about this plan.” She had her hands on her hips, and the fire in her eyes about set him off right there. But that wasn’t the point, and he told his dick to settle the hell down. He needed that blood in his brain.
“Mindy, come on. You know the Wardens are trouble. That’s who grabbed you that night we—” He felt his cheeks go red, actually blushing. God, that was ridiculous. He was a grown man, a motorcycle club president. He for the love of God did not blush. “Anyway. They’re causing trouble for us, for the Chain Gang, and if they find out about the baby, they could hurt you. I want you—and the Bean—to stay safe.”
That was the wrong thing to say—revealing her pet name for the baby when she had been very clear that no one knew but him. He knew it as soon as the words escaped his mouth, but he couldn’t take them back. But beyond that, his overprotective streak was shining bright and strong, and oh she was not going to have a single word of it.
He braced himself for the tongue lashing that he was very sure was coming, but instead, she stared at him. He couldn’t even call it a glare, not really, just a long, revealing look that seemed to tear him down all the w
ay to his soul. And then she turned on her heel and walked directly to Cook.
“Cook,” she said, her voice shaking even though her hands were steady on her hips, her back turned entirely to him now. “I need a ride home. Can you help a girl out?”
Cook’s gaze flashed between her and Jack for a few heartbeats, and Lord she was going to make him pay for that later, but that was Cook’s problem. Jack shook his head; there was no chance to push a girl like Mindy into a choice she wasn’t ready to make, and that was just the truth. He could feel the point when he’d gone wrong—been too brash and too pushy—and she had every right to be angry at him, as much as it pissed him off that she wouldn’t just admit that he was right. He had to let her get to the right conclusion on her own. He’d do the shit Bodhi had suggested later—send her a card and some flowers or something, or ask to take her out to dinner, and sell the idea right. She’d come around to his way of thinking.
Still, it stung like hell seeing her get into Cook’s car as the other man threw furtive glances over his shoulder at Jack. Jack tried to give him a steady look, to show that this wouldn’t be forgotten, but that he also understood what was happening, and he wouldn’t be coming after Cook for helping the woman out. He would have done the same thing in the same situation.
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