by Kendall Ryan
“Hush. Both of you girls are too thin. Eat up.”
I sat down and dug into my own plate, noting the satisfied smile tugging at Alexa’s lips.
We enjoyed the delicious pasta and flavorful meatballs in relative silence. For once I didn’t have to prod Lily to stop playing with her food and eat. She gulped the food down greedily and was soon coated from chin to forehead in tomato sauce. I couldn’t help but steal glances at Alexa throughout the meal, and I remembered that she hadn’t answered my question earlier. I wondered just what, exactly, had prompted her to come over.
“We’re going to need to hose you down out back, Lils,” I chuckled.
She slurped the noodle dangling between her lips and grinned. “No way! I want Lexa to give me my bath tonight.”
A smile tugged at Alexa’s mouth.
“Not tonight, baby doll. It’s too late for a bath.”
Lily pouted but let it drop. Alexa exchanged looks with me across the table, and I could tell she wouldn’t mind helping, but there was no way I was doing that to her. She’d already done too much. Working with Lily. Cooking us dinner. I wasn’t used to accepting hand-outs and I wasn’t about to start now.
Once we were through with dinner, and Lily thoroughly wiped down, she escaped to play in her room while Alexa and I lingered at the table.
She tapped her fingers against the wood surface, studying me. “So I take it you weren’t shooting a new film today.”
“Ah, no. I work construction most days. That was just a stupid mistake.”
“So you don’t do it anymore?” she asked, raising a brow in my direction.
“I don’t plan on it, but the money’s damn good. And Lily’s healthcare costs…” I shook my head. “Never mind, I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.”
She tucked her chin down, fiddling with her hands in her lap, not meeting my eyes.
“Are you finished?” I nodded toward her plate.
“Yes, thank you.” She folded the napkin and set it on the empty dish.
I took our plates to the kitchen, and after a giving each a quick rinse, loaded them into the dishwasher. Alexa had cleaned as she cooked, because the dishwasher was loaded with the pots and implements she’d used while preparing supper. She leaned against the counter and watched me finish the rest.
“You said it was a mistake, but you did film one video…” Her voice trailed off and her eyes went wide, like she knew she’d been caught snooping.
My breath caught in my throat and my cock stirred in my jeans. “You’ve seen it?” The idea of her watching me have sex with another woman was… weird…and horrifying but also incredibly fucking hot.
Her cheeks flushed crimson and I knew she’d not only seen it, but probably even gotten herself off while watching it.
Ah, hell.
CHAPTER 8
* * *
Alexa
“Lexa, will you help me?”
Lily’s sudden appearance in the kitchen couldn’t have come at a better time. I needed a heaping dose of shut the hell up. I’d practically just admitted to Cade that I’d watched him have sex. God, I sounded like a creeper. But creeping on the resident porn star wasn’t why I was here. It was this sweet little girl now looking at me with big eyes and an even bigger smile. The fact that her brother made me hotter than hell was beside the point.
I followed her to her room and helped her get undressed, removing her leggings and tunic while she kept one hand on her walker, holding herself up. I could tell that as she got tired, her coordination and muscle control went south. She pointed to the drawer where she kept her pajamas, informing me that she wanted the Cinderella ones. I couldn’t help but notice that the drawer also held a few gently worn, adult-sized T-shirts. Cade’s I presumed. Those were probably full-length dresses on her. The thought made me smile.
I found the pink Cinderella nightgown trimmed in yellow lace and slipped it on over her head. I noted a small puckered scar from a recent surgery and a pronounced dimple where her spine had failed to fuse properly before birth. Poor little thing. I delicately touched the patch of skin, wishing my hands held the power to heal.
I lifted her into bed and secured the covers around her. “Get some rest, sweet pea.” I brushed her blonde curls back from her forehead and leaned in to press a kiss to the center of it. She smiled sleepily up at me, her eyes already beginning to fall closed.
“Night-night, Caden,” she whispered.
I turned and saw his large form filling the open doorway, his expression serious.
Cade remained silent, but his eyes were locked on me. Watching everything I did, my every movement with her. The intensity of his gaze sent a rush of heat skittering along my spine. His look was both curious and possessive.
I crept from the room, and he backed away from the doorway, allowing me to close it behind us. I stood before him in the hallway, which suddenly felt crowded and narrow.
“You probably had better things to do than babysit all afternoon.” His voice was soft, careful.
“No, it’s fine.” I couldn’t believe I’d been here for almost six hours. The truth was it was nice being here, feeling helpful and needed. It was better than sitting alone in my empty apartment, studying the same material I already knew like the back of my hand.
He stepped in closer and lifted a hand to my cheek, brushing his thumb along the line of my jaw. “Thanks for taking care of her,” he said, his callused thumb whispering a delicate path along my skin. “I’m not used to accepting help.”
I nodded, not trusting my voice to work.
“Do you have to go or do you have time to stay for a drink?”
I nodded again, still finding it hard to put words together.
“You have to go?” He dropped his hand.
I shook my head, immediately missing the feel of his hand on my cheek. “No, I can stay.”
A lazy grin tugged at the corner of his lips. “Come on then. I have beer, and I think I could even rustle up a bottle of wine.”
“Beer is fine.” Something icy to cool me off would be perfect right now.
I headed to the living room while he collected two bottles from the fridge. I’d just sat down on the couch when he joined me and handed me an ice cold beer. The beer was refreshing after such a long day, and I leaned back against the sofa, propping my feet up on the coffee table and sighed softly. He grinned at me, as if in agreement that it was tiring caring for her. I returned his smile, knowing he also knew she was worth every second of work.
I glanced around the sparse living room. No feminine touch here. No throw pillows, knick-knacks or candles, or any of the other things that made a house feel like a home. The room contained a large picture window efficiently covered with wooden blinds, a hunter-green sofa and armchair and a pair of matching coffee and end tables, one of which held a softly glowing lamp. It was sparse, but it was enough. You could tell this house was filled with love. It was completely at odds with how I first pictured Cade’s life. I imagined him to be a playboy bachelor, probably out with a different woman every night of the week and living in a bachelor pad in the middle of the city.
When I finally looked over at the man himself, I realized he was watching me from beneath hooded eyes. I took another sip of my beer and broke the connection.
“What is it?” he asked, breaking the tension sitting between us.
“You said you’ve had Lily since she was three. I’m just wondering…what happened to your parents?”
He pulled back a healthy swig of his own beer before answering. “That’s too generous a term for them.”
I kept quiet, wrapping my fingers around the chilled bottle, waiting for him to continue.
“I was raised by my grandparents, and was left this place when they passed away. I was barely twenty, and my mother had given birth to a baby, and dropped the toddler off here. Lily wasn’t walking yet and needed more care than they were prepared to give her.”
I couldn’t help but compare how very diff
erent our lives were. My parents and I vacationed in Italy and spent Christmases at our ski lodge, and I never wanted for anything growing up—except for maybe more freedom. Cade was abandoned by his parents and then saddled with a special-needs child all because his parents couldn’t be bothered to care for her.
“I took one look at that little girl, and she stole my heart. I work hard and would do anything I needed to do to ensure her safety. I’m determined to give Lily the life my parents couldn’t. They were later busted for running a meth lab out of their trailer and are now in prison for a very long time.”
Wow.
Sensing my inner turmoil, he gave my hand a squeeze. “I promise you, we’re managing.”
“I know, I can see that.” And they truly were. Cade, or Caden as Lily called him, was doing the best he could, providing a safe, loving home, even if he went about paying the bills in unconventional ways. Who was I to judge?
“Why’d you come today?”
I knew the question hadn’t been forgotten. I hesitated for just a second before recovering. “For Lily.” Which was mostly true.
He waited, eyeing me curiously. “Are you sure that’s all?”
Images from the sexy video replayed in my mind—the sensual curve of his mouth as he devoured hers with kisses. His large, rough hands softly caressing her skin. The skillful way his fingers touched her and rubbed slow circles in just the right spot. “I… I don’t know,” I breathed.
He ran a hand across the back of his neck, and let out a deep, rumbling sigh. “Fuck. Don’t tempt me, Lex.” His voice was a rough plea in the silence of the room. The nickname on his lips felt far more intimate than it had any right to. Friends shortened my name all the time, but never before had it made my heart jump, never made my pulse skitter like that.
I turned to face him on the couch, knowing this was crazy. He was a freakin’ porn star. Not someone I should crush on, but there it was all the same, pulsing in my chest. A want, a fierce desire I couldn’t name. Something I definitely wasn’t supposed to explore.
I wanted to be at the receiving end of that touch. I wanted to have those big hands, strong and calloused from working construction, yet still gentle, all over my body.
I wondered if it could be a simple infatuation, like the kind you developed for a movie star. I’d watched him in the most intimate of moments, so maybe my brain had created some type of freaky fascination that wasn’t based on anything but his sexy body sending my sexless one into overdrive.
But when Cade turned to me and brought his hand up, cradling the back of my neck to pull me close to him and his waiting lips, all coherent thought escaped me.
He leaned in slowly, giving me time to pull away before his mouth captured mine in a slow, scorching kiss. Oh, God, it was mouthwateringly good. Tender and sensual, worshipping at my mouth, nipping at my lips, tasting me and making my sex wet and needy. My tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip and his responded in turn, colliding with mine in a tangle of wet heat. His fingers threaded themselves farther into my hair while his thumb traced slow circles on the sensitive skin at the back of my neck.
A mix of emotions flooded my system. Everything from desire to fear that Lily might catch us, to shame that to my parents would never approve of him as my boyfriend. I knew I was getting way ahead of myself even thinking like that when Cade stopped suddenly, and pulled back.
His eyes studied me, trying to understand what had just transpired between us. “You’re going to be the death of me, cupcake.” He brushed the dampness from my top lip with his forefinger.
I glanced down and caught sight of the huge bulge straining against his jeans. I pressed my lips into a tight line, trying to avoid grinning like a fool at the thought that I’d affected him just as much as he did me.
He lifted my chin with a single finger and made me meet his eyes. “Hey, it’s okay. Don’t get shy on me now.”
I swallowed and relaxed into his hand. His thumb stroked my cheek and I automatically moved in to his caresses, my lids drowsily closing.
“That’s better.” He smiled and dropped his hand. “I don’t know what’s going on in that pretty head of yours, but if you ever really do want this, I’ll be the one to do it. Hell, I’d be honored. But you should do it when you’re ready, and with someone special.”
I nodded, sucking in my bottom lip so Cade wouldn’t see it tremble.
“It’s late. You should probably get going.” He stood and adjusted his erection. “Come back and see Lily anytime.”
He ushered me to the door and out of the house, and if I didn’t know better I would have thought he was trying desperately to get rid of me.
I drove home, still breathless, and totally confused. But when I pushed the thoughts of Cade aside and remembered Lily’s little face smiling up at mine, or her determination to excel at each exercise I showed her, it tugged at my heart and I held onto those memories, wondering if I’d see either of them again.
CHAPTER 9
* * *
Cade
As badly as I wanted Alexa, she deserved better, especially for her first time. It wasn’t right for her to just look for someone to get it over and done with. She wasn’t that kind of girl. She deserved roses, candles, that kind of shit. And I was not that kind of guy.
I’d ushered her out of my house as quickly as I could without seeming like an asshole, my dick screamed in protest with every step I took. I wanted her like crazy. Just the thought of burying myself in her tight, wet heat was enough to drive me insane. Yes, I’d made the right decision sending her home. But dammit if I hadn’t hid inside like a fucking pussy while she walked out to her car alone. I’d turned on the porch light and watched her from the window until she was safely inside her car and pulling away. I didn’t trust myself to be near her just then.
It was for the best. At least that was what I told myself as I climbed into bed with a raging hard-on that refused to go away.
The following morning I met Ian at the gym once I got Lily off to school. All she talked about over breakfast was ‘Lexa this and Lexa that.’ Drove me up a fucking wall. I had a hard enough time keeping the woman out of my own thoughts, but with Lily now firmly planted on Team Alexa, it was damn near impossible.
I’d hoped lifting weights with Ian would clear my head, but so far it had proven difficult.
“What’s got your panties in a twist?” Ian mocked me from a nearby weight bench. “You’re lifting like a pansy ass today.”
I sent him a don’t fuck with me scowl and added another set of forty-fives to my bench press. I was struggling under the weight by the fourth rep. Damn.
Ian pulled the bar up and helped me re-rack it. “Seriously, man. Talk to me.”
“This isn’t Oprah, bro. Mind your own damn business.”
He chuckled and shook his head, leaving me alone on my bench. When I met up with him in the steam room later, he kept true to the sentiment. He hadn’t asked me any further questions about my shitty mood, and instead we talked strategy of his upcoming fight.
Ian was an up-and-coming mixed-martial-arts fighter. He was much better than me, and I was man enough to admit it. I also wasn’t afraid to spar with him in the ring, even though he was lightning quick and his kicks ripped the air from your lungs. But my left hooks were nothing to fuck with, and I occasionally caught him off guard. More often than not, though, he didn’t miss a blow—and my ribs had the bruises to prove it.
But damn, he had to be good. He had a handful of local businesses sponsoring him, and had parents that had paid for every lesson imaginable growing up. He was born to do this. Me, on the other hand, I learned on the fly and won fights out of sheer determination.
Ian wiped the sweat from his eyes with a hand towel. “So what about you? Are you planning on fighting again anytime soon?”
The money was pretty good—if you won. “I don’t know man, you try working construction with cracked ribs and a broken finger.” Not to mention trying to explain to a six-year-old why you
were black-and-blue and watching her eyes well up with tears when you explained it was from a fight. It wasn’t something I ever wanted to do again. She wanted to know who I fought with and why he was mad at me. I didn’t like upsetting her like that. But it wasn’t like I could say to my opponent, hey man, no face shots, my little sister gets upset. There was no way around the bumps and bruises—and even if I won, I’d still usually be sporting a black eye for weeks.
One way or another, I needed to get my shit together and find a well-paying job that didn’t require me to fight in a ring, or get naked on camera.
Easier said than done though.
• • •
By the time I got home from the gym, Lily was due home from school. I had just enough time to make the phone call I’d been thinking about all day before I chickened out. I couldn’t get Alexa and the way she’d left the night before out of my head. She’d done nothing but help with Lily and I’d practically mauled her on my couch, told her I wanted to fuck her, and then sent her packing without even walking her to her car. Classy, I know. A real romantic here.
I dialed the number to the hospital and asked to be connected to Alexa in nursing. I didn’t know her last name, but thankfully, a few minutes later, they tracked her down for me.
“Cade? Is everything okay…?”
Her voice was frantic. Shit. She’d probably assumed this call was about Lily. “Everything’s fine. I didn’t mean to make you worry. Listen, I’ll keep this quick because I know you’re at work, but I needed to call and tell you I’m sorry if things got weird last night. That was totally my fault.”
She hesitated for a minute. “That’s okay. I had a lot of fun with Lily and—” she stopped short.
“Me too. Listen, can I return the favor? I’d like to make you dinner. Or at least buy you dinner, since you probably don’t want me cooking.”
Soft feminine laughter filled the silence between us. God, I liked that sound way too much. “Okay,” she murmured a few seconds later. “I’d like that.”
