by Kendall Ryan
“How is it possible you’re still a virgin, cupcake? You’re sexy as hell.”
I considered not only his question, but also my answer. It wasn’t something I’d planned on. “I went to an all-girls private school, and the few dates I had were mostly chaperones to my dances, arranged by my parents. We spent Christmases in Aspen, summers at our lake house, and I guess there just really wasn’t time to meet anyone.”
I shifted, snuggling in closer to his warm body. “I decided to stay nearby for college rather than moving away and finding my own path like I’d promised myself I would. And I guess I just kept right on living in the mold my parents had created. Stupid, huh?”
“Not at all, baby. That’s not what I meant.” He gave me a squeeze, holding me close. “I know I’m not the type you usually date, but maybe…just for now…”
“Shh. Let’s just go with it, Cade. Maybe I haven’t dated anyone like you before but maybe that’s why none of those other guys stuck. Maybe I’ve been dating the wrong guys my whole life,” I laced my fingers with his and brought them to my lips to press a kiss to the back of his hand. He chuckled against my ear, sending a warm whisper of breath down the back of my neck. In his arms I felt safe, protected and free, and while I had no idea at all where this was going, for now, I just didn’t want to think about anything other than right now. I wanted to enjoy the moment and not overthink it to death, like I seemed to do with everything else in my life.
“I can think of something I’d like you kissing better than my hand.” His voice was low and rough and a bolt of heat raced down my spine.
I reached behind me to feel the growing erection in his jeans and he sucked in a ragged breath. I rolled over on the narrow couch to face him. His eyes were dark and intense, and full of desire. Wordlessly, we each began unbuttoning the other’s jeans while our tongues collided in a frantic kiss.
Cade yanked my jeans down my legs, taking my panties with them. I tugged his pants and boxers down just enough until I felt the warmth of his solid cock pressing against my naked belly. I grasped him in both hands, plentiful as he was, and carefully stroked him. A raspy groan rumbled in his chest.
“Fuck that feels good.” He watched my hands work up and down, growling low in his throat. He tugged at the hem of my shirt, and I released him momentarily to lift my arms above my head, allowing him to remove the offending piece of fabric. He dropped it to the floor beside the couch.
He hauled me on top of him so I was lying flush against his body, his thick erection nudging at my opening. We were so close, just a few millimeters more and he would be inside me. His dark gaze collided with mine and held me speechless. I rocked my hips against his, sending him sliding against my damp center. I felt his body tense and when I opened my eyes, his were squeezed closed and he was breathing unevenly.
The sounds of soft whimpering drifted from Lily’s bedroom. We pulled apart, our eyes searching each other’s.
“Caden!” Lily cried out.
He hopped up, tugging on his jeans, and jogged from the room.
I sat up on the couch and pulled on my clothes. The moment was gone. I could hear Cade’s low voice murmuring soothing endearments to Lily. The poor little thing must have had a bad dream.
I slipped on my shoes and jacket. It had been a long day, and my warring emotions over Cade and fussing over Lily had left me feeling exhausted. Not that I regretted anything, but it was a lot to sort out and my brain was tired.
Cade returned a few minutes later, looking worn out.
“Is she okay?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, she’s fine. Just a bad dream. I put her in my bed so she’ll be able to settle and fall back to sleep.”
Oh.
He eyed my jacket and frowned.
“It’s getting late,” I explained with a shrug and soft smile. “Maybe I should get home.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I suppose so.” He crossed the room in two easy strides and pulled me to his chest, planting a soft kiss on my mouth. “Thank you for everything today.”
“I had a really good day. Thank you for letting me spend the day with her.”
“Of course. She loved it. And I wish you could stay a little longer but I know it’s probably for the best.”
I nodded, wishing I could stay too.
Good night.”
“Night,” I whispered, breathless from his kiss.
He walked me to the curb and stood near the car door when I climbed inside.
“So … your parents. Tomorrow, right? What time?”
Oh yeah, dinner with my parents. “Six. We’ll meet in front of the Sherman Oaks Country Club.”
He shook his head, immediately looking nervous. “Damn, cupcake…”
I knew I’d conveniently left out the part about the dinner being at my parents’ club. I grinned at him sweetly. “Oh, and Cade? Wear a tie.” I closed my car door on his stunned expression and pulled away. How he went from porn-star-slash-patient to pseudo-boyfriend, I had no idea. Despite the cozy domestic day we’d shared, I couldn’t forget that Cade and I came from very different walks of life, and knew that tomorrow’s dinner with my parents would test whatever fragile relationship we’d developed. Hell, it would probably do more than test it—it would most likely smash it into smithereens.
CHAPTER 15
* * *
Alexa
I spotted Cade right away. He was dressed in a white button-down shirt and navy tie, with navy slacks to match and my lips tilted up as I took in his broad, muscular frame.
He looked sinfully sexy, but I couldn’t help but notice how out of place he looked in the entryway of the hoity-toity club, his tattoo playing peek-a-boo with his shirt collar. And he must have felt it too, because his eyes darted around the parking lot, searching me out and his shoulders only relaxed when his eyes met mine.
He appraised me with a sexy grin as I approached, my stiletto heels clicking against the brick walkway. He pressed a hand to my lower back once I was near and drew me close, dropping a kiss to my throat. “You look gorgeous, cupcake,” he growled.
I blushed at his compliment, looking down at the fitted black dress I rarely got the chance to wear anymore. “Thanks. You look great too.” My eyes searched the parking lot and when I spotted my parents’ approach I pulled away from Cade’s embrace.
My mom wore a pale-blue pantsuit and my dad was in his customary Sunday attire—chinos and a navy blazer, collar unbuttoned, no tie. It was the only day of the week he went sans-tie, considering he worked nearly twenty-four seven. But I knew Cade wearing one would make the right impression.
As they approached, Cade leaned in close, whispering toward my ear, “Why did I have to wear a tie if he didn’t?”
I elbowed his ribs, fixing a smile on my face as my parents approached.
A man in a suit approached from our left, tossing a set of keys into Cade’s hand. “Hey, keep it running, I’ll be back in a few.”
Cade’s eyes met mine, full of irritation at the man’s insinuation that he was the valet. Cade grumbled something at the man, and tossed the keys back to him just as my parents stopped beside us.
My mom and I exchanged kisses and I gave my dad a quick hug before introducing them to Cade.
They smiled at him politely and he and my dad shook hands.
“What was that?” my dad asked, tipping his head towards the guy now waiting by the curb for the actual valet.
“Just a misunderstanding,” I interjected quickly before Cade could open his mouth, and fixed a smile on my face.
This felt strange. Way strange. I shrugged it off. Go with it, Alexa.
My mother’s eyes roamed over my dress and her mouth pinched closed. I tugged at the hem of my skirt, willing it closer to my knees. Cade noticed what I was doing and took my hand in his, giving it a firm squeeze before releasing it. I took a deep breath and trailed behind my parents into the dining room.
The hostess seated us at my parents’ usual table near the windows overl
ooking the golf course. Seeing how fall was settling in, not many golfers were braving the course today, but for a few dedicated souls just finishing the back nine.
Cade was ever the gentlemen, seeming to have moved passed the valet mishap, and pulled out my chair before settling into his own. He frowned at the expansive quantity of silverware at his place setting and I gave his knee a gentle squeeze underneath the table.
“Alexa’s never brought a date to our Sunday dinners,” my mom said, suspiciously eyeing Cade.
Cade, thinking quick on his feet, grasped my hand on top of the table. “Well I’m very happy to be here.”
My mom settled back into her chair, her back still ramrod straight, but seemingly satisfied with his response.
The server came by for our drink order, beginning with Cade—he ordered a bottle of beer. I winced. We never drank at Sunday dinners. It was sort of a thing with my parents. The rest of us ordered iced tea.
When the server returned with our drinks, Cade waved away the suggestion of a pilsner glass and I thought my mother’s eyes were going to pop out of her head. But when he tipped his head back and drank straight from the bottle, exposing a little section of his tattoo, my mother sucked in a gasp and gripped the tablecloth in front of her.
I wanted to go to the bathroom and hide. It wouldn’t have been the first time I’d done so. The farthest stall back on the left side of the ladies’ room had served as a disappearing place a few times over the years when I needed to escape my mother’s meddling.
Dad finally asked the question I knew had been on his mind since meeting Cade. “So, what do you do, Cade?”
Cade pulled back another fortifying swig of this beer before answering. “I work construction. Roofing mostly.”
“Hmm,” my mother pursed her lips. “That sounds awfully … manual.” My mother shot me a disapproving glare letting me know that she was none too happy to be sharing a dinner table with this man she obviously viewed as below her.
My blood turned hot and my nostrils flared as I tried to contain my sudden flash of anger.
My dad simply nodded. “You enjoy working with your hands? I never was much good at it. Hell, I practically have to call an electrician just to change a lightbulb.”
Cade smiled, relaxing just a bit into his chair. “Yeah, I enjoy seeing the tangible results of my work. I do all sorts of things, carpentry, electrical—let me know if you ever need a hand. I draw the line at plumbing, but the rest I can usually figure out.”
I’d never really heard Cade talk about his work, I realized. I liked hearing him describe it. It was the same way I felt about nursing. I liked the notion of helping to improve something, leaving it in better condition than the way I found it. Sure, my work was with people, and Cade’s was with inanimate materials, but I still understood what he meant. I doubted my dad could relate, balance sheets weren’t exactly exciting. But I liked that he nodded and smiled, at least trying to relate to Cade. My mother on the other hand looked like someone had shoved a stick up her ass. I refused to look at her, focusing instead on the place setting in front of me.
The waiter was soon back, taking our order. “The prime-rib special Mr. and Mrs. Blake?”
My parents nodded in agreement. Cade handed over his menu without looking at it. “You have burgers here?”
The waiter nodded. “Certainly, sir.”
Without knowing what possessed me, perhaps it was the carefree chicken-wing-eating Lexa making her comeback, I followed Cade’s lead. “I’ll take the burger too.”
“But you always get the prime rib—” my mother interrupted.
I finally glanced at my mother. “I know, but I’m in the mood for a burger tonight so that’s what I’ve decided to order.”
“Don’t be silly, she’ll have the prime rib,” my mother told the waiter.
The waiter’s gaze bounced between me and my mother, seemingly unsure of who to listen to, when Cade interrupted. “Alexa’s a big girl, she knows what she wants.” The statement was laced with deeper meaning and we all knew it.
I couldn’t help but smile at him before turning to the waiter. “The burger, please. Well done with gouda cheese. And mushrooms.”
Cade leaned back, draping his arm over the back of my chair, casually sipping his beer.
“Have you seen much of Peter, dear?” I winced at my dear mothers’ question. Nice timing Mom.
Cade’s gazed flicked to mine, clearly interested in my response. I hadn’t hidden my date with Peter from him, but maybe my mom thought I had and thought she’d get the upper hand.
“No, mother,” I said in a clipped tone, sending her a drop it glare. “And no plans on seeing him any time soon.”
The rest of the dinner passed without further drama. My dad and Cade tried to find topics to discuss, and after several false starts with 401k investments, and then politics, they finally settled on something on which they could both agree—Chicago Bears football. They were soon animatedly discussing draft picks and the quarterback’s latest arrest.
My mother ate in silence, stabbing at her dinner and pushing it around her plate. My burger was delicious, and I wondered why I’d never ordered for myself before. I ate every bite and was nearly bursting from my dress by the time we left the restaurant a short while later.
Cade and I lingered in the parking lot after my parents pulled away in their Mercedes. His pickup truck stuck out like a sore thumb in the parking lot full of luxury sedans and SUVs. My own included. Cade had kissed my mother’s cheek in farewell, while she’d stood stiff as a board, but at least he’d tried. My dad made a comment about Cade coming by to fix something at the house sometime, which I wasn’t sure how Cade felt about. He’d mumbled something and nodded.
I stepped in close to him, having wanted to be closer to him all night. “Is Sophia watching Lily?”
“Yeah,” he replied.
“Thanks for coming today.” I smiled warmly at him.
“Of course.”
“Do you have time to come over for a drink? I don’t live far from here.” I liked the idea of him seeing where I lived, not to mention, I was eager to finish where we left off last night before we were interrupted by Lily’s nightmare.
He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, then yanked his tie loose at the collar. “I’d better not.”
The air around us changed. It felt stiff, cold. “Cade?” I shifted a step closer. “What is it?” I braced myself, ready to hear that my judgmental mother had proved too much for him and he was cutting out on me.
“I need to get home to Lily.” His eyes refused to meet mine and I knew there was something he was holding back.
I was about to tell him that Lily would be fine for an hour, but something about his stiff stance told me to not to press him, instead I offered another solution that would allow us to spend more time together. “How about I come to your place then?”
He took a step back, shaking his head. “Not tonight, Alexa.”
I frowned, and when I suddenly realized that he’d called me Alexa rather than Lex or cupcake, my stomach twisted into a painful knot. “What’s wrong?”
“Listen, you and I are fun, but we both know I can’t afford the shit you’re used to. Prime-rib dinners and three-hundred-dollar pedicures don’t fit in to my life, and they aren’t the lifestyle I can allow Lily to get used to. Whatever the fuck is happening between us was always bound to end sometime and the more time we spend together will only hurt Lily when that happens and I refuse to be the one to hurt that little girl. ”
My heart squeezed painfully in my chest at his words, but I held my ground. “I’m sorry, I just thought the warm soak and massage would be good for her legs.” That spa visit hadn’t been about me. I’d done it with Lily in mind. His eyes widened in understanding, and a flash of guilt flickered through them.
“Regardless, you know I’m right. The disapproval was written all over your parents’ faces. I didn’t go to college. I don’t have some fancy degree. I have responsi
bilities—a mortgage, and full custody of a six-year-old.”
“What was all that stuff inside about Alexa’s a big girl, she knows what she wants?” I challenged. Sure, he had responsibilities, but when had I ever showed him I wasn’t on board with Lily? And so what if he didn’t have a college degree? He had a freakin’ masters degree in how to be a kind, considerate person. My mother could take some lessons from him.
“You’re an adult. You should be able to stand up to your parents.”
“Well…I know what I want.” My tone was defiant and my eyes didn’t waver from his.
He sighed and looked past me. “That may be, but I have a little girl to take care of. She doesn’t have anyone else. She has to come first. I’m sorry.”
“I know.” I understood that, I truly did. I’d never ask Cade to slack on his responsibility to Lily. Never. “And I would never ask you to choose me over her, but I know what I want.”
“Are you telling me you think your parents would ever accept us dating?” He waited a second. “You know they wouldn’t. You mom was trying to set you up with Peter while I was sitting right there.”
I shook my head. “They don’t get to choose who is in my life, I do. I don’t care what they say, Cade.”
“I do.” His expression didn’t waver. It was like someone had stomped on my chest, and I struggled for breath.
“Cade…” I reached out for his forearm, but he took a step back.
“Go on home, Alexa.”
His emotionless tone all but froze my skin and I stumbled a step back in my heels. Not wanting him to see me cry, I turned and fled for my car, desperate to get out of there as quickly as I could.
CHAPTER 16
* * *
Cade
Keeping my distance from Alexa was proving more difficult than I ever imagined. Every single day I had half a mind to drive up to the hospital to see her, and Lord knows I wanted to check on her, hear her voice, see how she was doing. God, just the chance to see her smile. I hated how I left her in that country club parking lot looking so hurt and stunned.
