"You're not Russian?"
I slapped her arm.
"You're impossible!" I said.
Allecra just giggled and kissed my cheek again as if in apology.
"I'm just kidding," she said. "My sweet Nina looks too adorable not to be teased."
A blush returned to my face.
"Allecra," I called her name and bit my lips.
"Yes?"
How do you tell someone that you want to make love to them?
"It's about time we—we—you know," I said, all the while blushing like an idiot. Allecra had a small smile flickered on her perfect lips.
"Are you sure about it?" she asked. "I can wait until you feel alright again after all this."
"I would feel more alright when we become one. It will reassure me that you belong only to me."
"I don't want to pressure you this way."
"Gosh Allecra, if we don't do it now, I might change my mind," I said. That came out more like a threat. I wasn't sure if I was the one pressuring my girlfriend into sex.
Allecra was silent like she was mulling over the options.
"You can always change your mind, Nina," she said. I groaned with an eye roll at her. Allecra chuckled back.
"You're still mean," I said. "Fine, if you don't want to. Let's not have sex...forever."
"Aw...why are you so blunt?" she said. "I know you're not a very verbal person. If we decide to do it tonight, I would just have to pay close attention to what you want and need. So it's better to take it slow. One step at a time."
"Does it hurt?" I asked uncertainly.
"I show better than tell, Nina," she said.
"Will you show me right now?"
"In this garden?" she said with an arched eyebrow. "How kinky."
"No, not here!"
"Then where?"
I looked in the direction of my room, but it would be awkward to have sex in my aunt's house. It felt like I was being disrespectful of her hospitality or something.
"I don't know," I said, feeling my heart started to drum against my ribs in nervousness. Although I had anticipated it, I wasn't prepared for our agreement to be met so soon and so overwhelmingly smooth.
I remembered some parts of a poem about the goddess of flowers.
‘Persephone is having sex in hell.
She is lying in the bed of Hades.
What is in her mind?
Is she afraid?
Is she afraid of her first time?’
Will I be afraid during mine with Allecra, I wondered.
"Let's go to my place then," Allecra suggested after a while.
"Are we sneaking out?"
"Not if you get permission."
"What?"
"Leave it to me, Nina, I can handle it."
Suddenly, her voice sounded thick with desire and needs. Her intense eyes made the heat pooling inside my body become more pronounced.
Allecra also wanted me.
Yet at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder, with a tingling anxiety and cowardice of a virgin, if I would return home stained with red juice like the character in Scarlet Letter.
All of a sudden, I felt dizzy. From all the emotional roller-coaster of the night to getting our relationship consummated in just half an hour apart seemed a bit much. Allecra had to hold me in her arms. Her darkened eyes stirred with concerns.
"Nina, are you alright?" she asked. "You know if you're not well, we don't have to do it. It's totally fine."
What happened tonight had set my suspicion astray and dragged back all questions and doubts in its filthy jaw. But I fought those thoughts and shooed away my doubts.
After tonight, I also knew I would not be what is called a girl any longer. But this is Allecra, my Allecra. And I wanted it to be with her.
"No." I shook my head resolutely. "I want to. I want it with you. Just take care of me."
Allecra still didn't look confident about that.
"Please," I said again in a pleading tone. It broke her resolves at last.
“Alright then, let’s go,” she said, and together we rose from the bench and walked hand in hand out of the garden.
CHAPTER 32
I was told to wait when Allecra went over to my aunt and her tipsy-looking husband inside the marquee. She talked for a few moments before walking back to me and saying, "You're a free elf now. Let's go!"
I asked her with a shell-shocked face what had just happened, and she merely smirked in mirth and shrugged.
"Don't worry, they won't think about you at least for another 24 hours."
"Are you kidding me? Tell me what you said to them exactly."
"I told them we would like you to have a sleepover at my house tonight since it's your birthday."
"Just like that? And they agreed?" I stared at her in suspicion and disbelief.
"Well, in case you didn't notice, I can be very persuasive," Allecra said with a mischievous grin.
"Tell me what you did to them, Allecra," I demanded. "I won't leave with you until I know the truth."
Allecra rolled her eyes.
"Oh Nina, it's nothing harmful," she said. "I was just—you know—channeling some good thoughts here and there — that's all."
"How could you do that?" I cried in accusation. "I meant—of course, I know you could do that, but still, how could you do that?"
She stared at me with a chiding scowl.
"Are we really going to talk about this now?"
I was silent for a moment then Allecra came to hold me by the waist and pulled me gently into her embrace.
"Please, just relax and let the moment take care of itself," she said consolingly. "I promise everything will be fine."
I bit my lips in consideration. But it wasn't a hard decision to make. I guessed the real problem was I always expected it to be difficult, so when things worked out far too easily, I chickened out and was afraid to take the chance. Perhaps I had to get used to life being simple and effortless with Allecra. Besides, I was the one who initiated the whole idea.
"Fine, let’s go then," I finally said.
Allecra grinned back and steered us out of the garden.
When we got inside her car, Triton was grinning widely at us.
"Oh stop it, brother," Allecra said. "Just go as fast as you could."
Triton simply raised two fingers in a salute like a knight pulling on a visor and then drove off.
"Wait, what about Jack?" I asked.
"Jack who?" Allecra said indifferently.
"The guy you almost turned into a turnip earlier!" I said. As soon as she was reminded of him, Allecra's face darkened and her eyes looked slightly murderous again.
"Let the ants eat his head!" she snarled back. "Why do you care about that idiot?"
"I don't care about him," I tried to tell her, "but what if he tells someone what happened?"
"He can't," was all she said. "From now on he won't bother you anymore."
"Oh my god, please don't tell me you already..."
"No, not yet," Allecra said, still sounding not so pleased about it, "I wish I had, though. Anyway, I did select a special drawer in his brain and scattered the files of his memory, altered and shuffled them around. Now he won't remember anything. And I made sure to instill in his brain an unidentifiable terror of tonight."
"What does that mean?" I asked in total confusion.
"Well, I give him this fear that if he dares to get near my girl again, his life will be hell."
"Now, he couldn't recognize me anymore?"
She nodded back, and I sank into my seat in amazement.
"Are you okay?" Allecra asked me in concern. "If you're still in shock, maybe I can just..."
"No, I'm fine. I'm not that emotionally fragile," I said with a wave. "Believe me, I recover from unpleasant things pretty fast. In fact, I feel surprisingly detached from all that."
"It can be because you're still in denial after a trauma," she said. "and your subconscious mind decided that you need me as a distrac
tion."
"What are you talking about? I wouldn't think that way about you," I protested in vehemence. "I have already prepared for tonight. Besides, I knew you would come to my rescue. Deep down, I still believe in us. Even though I had thought all the light was sucked out of this world when I saw you and Eva, I'm still in love with you."
It made her smile and shook her head.
"Nina, how could I ever be with anyone else when every beat of my heart is only meant for you?" Allecra said. "I'd still choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred dimensions, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd love you— always."
Her words brought joyful tears to my eyes.
"I love you, too, Allecra," I said, my voice broke with sheer emotion. Then we reached for one another and stayed tangled up in each other like that for the rest of the car ride.
The long Cadillac pulled into Allecra's estate half an hour later. After he parked the car, Triton shot out of his driver's seat like a lightning bolt to open the door for me. The whole time he was smiling. I felt my cheeks flushed at his strange enthusiasm. Could he know what we were up to? They were all some psychic interstellars after all.
Allecra gave her brother a nudge in his ribs after she got out.
"Go, Triton, you started to creep her out,” she said, which earned a playful pout from him. He turned to wave at me and said without making a verbal sound and much to my embarrassment, 'I wish you a long blissful goodnight!'
I blushed openly this time.
"Triton, just go!" Allecra growled at him. The tall quiet guy snickered as he turned to leave. When Triton was gone, we entered the house together. The air around us seemed to be charged more than usual. Maybe it was because this visit was different from any other visits.
"Alone at last," Allecra sighed in relief.
She took off her blazer and laid it neatly on the back of the sofa. I watched her slender hand went up to pop two buttons off her collar and deftly rolled up her sleeves. The gesture was subconscious and a natural thing to do, but it struck a chord with me as a balance between boyish charm and voluptuously feminine elegance. This didn't fail to make the temperature in my body grow more ardent. It felt different from any other time I was here and alone with her.
She led me through the living room towards the kitchen.
"Would you like something to drink?" Allecra asked after she sat me down at the island and went over to the fridge.
"Just water please," I said. "I like water."
But the way I said it made Allecra turn around to look at me.
"You're sure you're alright? Am I putting any pressure on you?"
"No!" I reassured her. "It's not you, Allecra, really. Just give me a moment to adjust to this, that's all."
She flashed me a gentle smile and then set two wine glasses on the island in front of me.
"Maybe this might help you relax a little," she said and poured a well-chilled white wine into both glasses. She slid one over to me.
"Sorry, I'm a bit nervous," I said.
"Would you believe me if I tell you it feels like my first time, too?" Allecra said.
"Oh, I wouldn't have guessed," I said.
"Trust me, you have no idea what effect you have on me," she said. I didn't know what else to say to that but it sure did make me feel a whole lot better.
We both took a swig of our drinks in silence. The smooth sweetness of the wine calmed me down a bit. Allecra's hand reached over to mine and rubbed it lightly like she was petting a frightened kitten.
"Nina, I just want you to know that you don't have to pressure yourself into this. You can just come here and cuddle up with me. We can talk. We can ramble about meaningless things like we always do. Then you can fall asleep in my arms. And I promise you that before darkness swallows this already darkened world, I'll whisper in your ear just how beautiful and precious you are to me, and how much I love you with all my heart."
Oh, Allecra...
I shook my head vigorously with joyous tears in my eyes.
"You're everything I've ever wanted, and I want this with you. I really do."
"Me, too," she said softly. "But it's not necessary if you..."
I leaned over to kiss her lips, cutting her off mid-sentence.
"Believe me," I whispered afterward. "I really really want you."
A slow brilliant smile lit up on Allecra's face. For a moment, she seemed flattered by my honest declaration. She placed her soft hands on both sides of my cheeks and joined our foreheads together.
"Then we can have a goodnight sex, a middle of the night sex, and a good morning sex if you want," she said in a low husky voice. "Or we can do all of the three until you can't possibly walk right the next day. Everyone will know I got a hold on you tonight and everyone will know you are mine — my Nina, my other half, my one and only."
I chuckled. "I still don't know what I'm supposed to do."
Allecra grinned with a playful gleam in her turquoise eyes.
"You don't have to do anything. Just watch how I make you come," she said, which earned a smack on her arm from me.
"Allecra!" I said. My cheeks were blushing from her words. She giggled back at me like a goofy school girl. When she stopped, she let out a contented sigh and poured us a second glass of wine.
"I'm going to freak you out a little, though," she said.
"Why? You mean—with your—thing?" I asked before I could stop myself. The wine must have gotten to me. As expected, Allecra frowned at my word choice. I knew she didn't like it when I called her secret member that, but good grief, she seemed even more appealing and utterly adorable when she got annoyed.
"Do you still think having sex with my thing is disgusting?"
"No, I don't!" I protested with a slight blush. "You know I'm not a straight girl. I never thought it was possible for me to feel this way. Sex with a guy, in my mind, always seems like letting an eel from the river take liberties with me. It's just unthinkable."
"So what makes it different with me?"
"When I'm with you, I feel safe," I said. "To me; you're not a hermaphrodite alien anymore. You're just Allecra, my Allecra."
I could feel her smile before I saw it on her chiseled face. Her eyes had a look of gratitude and pride.
"And when did you realize you have an affinity for women?"
I took another sip from the glass.
"I liked looking at Renaissance paintings of naked maidens when I was young. As I grew older, I realized there was something different about me. Most of my friends started talking about boys and I was just there unimpressed. When I started dating boys, I had no real sexual appetite. It was never easy for me to reveal the intimacies of my soul to another person. At one point, I suspected myself to perhaps be a door that was actually a wall."
I let out a dry chuckle at my own inside joke, but Allecra seemed to understand what I meant. I remembered how hard it was before I came out. No matter how long the queue of hopefuls or how vicious the slander that I was an arrogant snob, who had her legs welded together, or an implacable iron maiden, who denied men pleasure, I would never betray myself.
“I thought there was no one in this world specifically made for me. And I was right, depends on how you look at it now." My eyes lanced at her as I said it. "I was right because it takes you all the way here to show me what love feels like."
When looking into her enigmatic eyes, that familiar unutterable connection began to push and pull with our beating hearts again.
"Being with you makes me feel special. I just never want to share my body with anyone like this. It's the first time in my life that I've felt this way," I went on. "If I have ever given you an impression that I'm hesitant or having a second thought, it can only be that I have never experienced such an intense intimacy before, and it overwhelms me. But I still want you. I just don't want to ruin this special moment."
"Don't worry, Nina. Everything will be perfect. Everything will be beautiful," Allecra said, looking back to match my gaze
. "In fact, as long as it's with you, it will be more than all the joys in the world for me."
A smile slowly found its way to my lips again.
"I love you," I said for the hundredth time.
"I love you, too," she replied with an impish smile. We stared at each other like that for a moment, just soaking up the comfortable silence and basking in an empyrean glow of our love.
Allecra leaned forward and our lips locked like they are meant for each other.
As if to signal the anticipated moment, Allecra pulled away and emptied her wine in one swoop before putting the glass down in an urgent manner.
"Alright," she exhaled. "Let's make love tonight."
It made me giggle at the blonde's straightforwardness. At the same time, her very words churned up my inside with accumulative heat. I felt my heart clenched in the midst of anticipation and nervousness.
As we climbed the stairs up to the second floor, Allecra wouldn't let go of my hand. She drew me behind her like a comet drawing its tail of fire. I gingerly followed her, passing the evergreen plants in the glowing glass case. We reached her room and entered it. Soon, I was surrounded by her wonderful smell. I almost felt dizzy with the intoxicating feeling that was inspired by Allecra herself.
Once again, my heart started drumming in an excited rhythm in my ears. When we finally reached her enormous bed, Allecra turned slowly back to me. Her hypnotic gaze raked over me as if to savor the moment. I could see those bright turquoise eyes glowing with a profound passion.
Like a seed of desire that was planted and ready to sprout, she stepped forward and tipped my chin up. I looked into those stirring galaxies. My head swam with suppressed longing and hunger. It was like reality elaborating with fantasies, and I was seduced by the knowledge that I could be this lucky to have this person. I felt my heart swoon and my breath shortened beyond control.
Allecra ran a hand through my hair and trailed her fingers down my heated cheek then over to my throat and collarbones. I shivered under her electrifying touch. She was patient with me. Every move was no faster than a slow motion of a sea diver.
"Just relax," Allecra whispered and leaned her tall handsome figure over me. Then we aligned our mouths. Our tongues entwined as we slowly slipped into the uncensored world of craving.
Black Knight Page 32
