She smiled. After it was all done, she came back and wrapped her arms around my body, tenderly holding me close to her. But I felt my chest grew heavy and I couldn't breathe. Allecra was surprised to see a tear roll down my cheek.
"Nina, are you alright?" she asked in alarm. "Are you hurt?"
"No," I said, my voice croaked in an effort to speak again. "I'm fine...I don't know why I'm crying."
"You're just a little overwhelmed after sex," she said. "It's understandable."
"I guess so," I said and cried a little in her arms. Maybe it was the fact that I had just lost my virginity. But I was glad that I lost it to the person I loved.
"Oh baby girl..." she said and stroked my hair. "Shh...It's okay. I'm right here."
She wiped away the tears from my face and kissed my cheek.
"I just... can't believe we finally did it," I said.
"Me too," she whispered back.
"I thought I wouldn't be able to bring myself to...you know?"
"I know."
"I love you, Allecra."
"I love you more."
And we lay there, kissing and cuddling each other with all the stars in the sky witnessing us.
CHAPTER 38
It was 9:30 in the morning by the time I awoke. The bed was empty, but I could still feel the warmth that Allecra left behind. Beyond the skylights overhead, the Alaskan sun framed the clouds with an ethereal glow.
I squinted against the late-morning light, but my head was clear from a wonderful thick sleep. I sat up and looked around. Most of the clothes from the night before scattered beside the bed, and I was actually naked. There was a trace of that special feeling in my lower half, the sweet lassitude that comes after having your insides powerfully churned.
So this wasn't a dream.
I was glad that it did happen. At last, Antonina Volkova, or Nina Black if you prefer, is able to lose herself to the wonder of sex. But to be honest, I still didn't know how to take this new status yet. Anyway, having sex or not having sex doesn't define who you are. I was still me.
I got up to get dressed in my old night shirt and hurried down the ladder. Then I heard the sound of running water and the jangling of pots and pans in the kitchen. When I reached where the noises came from, I realized Allecra was making breakfast. Her back was turned as she stood in front of a stove. There was a potful of boiling spaghetti and a whistling kettle.
The windows were open, letting all the good spring smells float in with the fresh icy scent of the mountains.
I watched Allecra in contented silence for a while. She had on a loose sleeveless tee that revealed those curving inks on her arms and a pair of black panties. The sight of her backside alone caused a shiver in my body.
Allecra's hair was tied up in a messy ponytail. I had hardly ever seen her wearing her hair up like that. The sunlight that shone through the window seemed to make a golden frame around her whole body. The view of the snow-peaked crystalline mountains at the backdrop was shockingly perfect with Allecra in it.
She was also moving around barefoot, and I couldn't stop staring at her smooth slender legs. She held her postures like a principal dancer in the tiny space, all grace with refined movements and strength.
Then Allecra turned around and caught me staring at her. She smiled and walked up to me. Then we both stood, looking at each other's face again. For a moment, we just gave shy and weird grins, as if we were at loss for words or not knowing how to begin. There were too many things to say. But maybe because of our ridiculous awkwardness, the two of us burst out giggling at the same time. Allecra came to pull me into her arms and spun me around in our light-filled cottage. I laughed and wrapped my arms around her neck.
"You sneaky kitten," she said.
"You should've put some pants on." I giggled.
"Look who's talking!"
She put me down and gave me a peck on my lips. Her breath smelled like fresh mint, like mountain air and snow and sunshine.
"Well, someone didn't give me any last night," I said.
"Because I knew you would wake up beautiful without them."
"Gosh, you and your sugary words," I said.
"Can't blame me. I've been eating something sweet lately."
"What is it?"
"Your lips," she said and smiled. I smiled back, but then she leaned over to whisper in my ear. "All of them."
I gasped and shoved her away.
"Why are you being such a pervert all the times?" I said with a glare.
"Only with you," she laughed back.
"Did you say that to the other potentials, too?"
It made Allecra scowl at me. My breath hitched when I realized what I'd just said, fearing that I had offended her about her past lovers, but Allecra just pinched both of my cheeks and stretched them hard.
I yelped.
"Don't spoil my morning mood, or else..." she said and then went, "Oh shoot!" before going over to the stove and lifted the cover off the spaghetti pot. A cloud of steam emitted into the air.
"You're making spaghetti?" I asked, rubbing my cheeks and also attempting to change the subject.
"There's nothing else in the house except some cans of Bolognese sauce and pasta," Allecra replied while stirring the boiling pot with a wooden ladle. "I remember you didn't have any dinner last night. You must be hungry."
As if on cue, my stomach growled. I clutched it in embarrassment.
"That's really thoughtful of you," I said. "But give me a moment to wash up first, okay?"
"Okay," she said.
In the small bathroom, I showered with lukewarm water that was probably heated by the hydropower from the creek. Then I came to stand in the big mirror and began to brush my teeth. But then I let out a gasp after a closer inspection. There were a few little red bruises around my neck and collar bones and several tiny ones above my breasts like dead rose petals. Though they weren't big, they were still pretty much visible and could last for days.
"Allecra!" I yelled as I got out of the bathroom and headed towards the kitchen again.
She was arranging the silverware on the table when I went over to her.
"What's wrong?" she asked in alarm.
"Look!" I said, yanking the collar of my shirt to show her. She glanced down my chest and then back at me.
"Well, you have beautiful breasts," Allecra said.
I pinched her bare arm. She jumped away with a yelp.
"That's not what I meant!" I hissed. "Tell me who gave me these hickeys?"
Allecra put her hand over her heart with a fake gasp.
"You think it could be me?" she said. I pinched her again.
"You're not funny, Allecra!"
She pouted and peered over my shirt to check the bruises.
"Oh wow," she said. "Oopsy!"
"Oopsy?!" I glowered at her in accusation. "If Piper sees these, she'll put me on a trail again."
"If she wants to know, let her know," Allecra said with a casual shrug. "Why do you need to be embarrassed about it?"
"You don't understand," I said. "This is like me holding up a sign that says, 'I just had sex'."
"And a great one at that," she added, quirking a perfectly arched eyebrow at me.
"Oh stop it," I muttered.
"Come on, Nina, I thought that was what humans like to do," she said. "They mark each other during sex, isn't that right?"
"Right, and I'm dead if my aunt sees this," I grumbled.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, lapochka. No more marking from me then, I promise," she said. "Now let's sit down and eat your breakfast before we get back."
She pulled the chair for me, and I grumpily sat down. Allecra settled on another one opposite mine. She placed a plate of steaming spaghetti with Bolognese sauce in front of me.
I dug up a forkful of the pasta, gave it a few air blows and shoved it into my mouth. It tasted strangely delicious, or maybe I was just hungry, or both.
Allecra had also made us some hot chocolate. I watched her curling
the pasta around her fork tines until it formed a tiny neat ball of spaghetti and put it into her mouth. No mess. I loved watching her delicacy and effortless maneuvers towards things. It never ceased to amaze me. Sitting together in a small kitchen facing the view of the mountains with the sunlight streamed through the windows, I realized this was what I wanted to wake up to every day for the rest of my life.
"I still don't want to go home yet," I said out loud.
"We can always come here again," Allecra said.
"I know. But this moment is too perfect; I just don't want to leave it. It feels like living my dream already."
"Your dream is living in a cottage and watch auroras?" she asked. It made me chuckle.
"Well, no, not exactly, but I heard someone said, 'If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.' And I thought to myself I would make it happen and that would be my life. I don't want a big house or any fancy cars. If I can have a small patch of garden and a little library, if my kitchen is nice and filled with necessary utensils, and my fridge never runs out of foods, my tiny car can get me places with no problems, then I have all that I want."
"It sounds perfect, Nina," she said with a soft smile then she placed her palm on my cheek and brushed it with her thumb. I put my hand over hers.
"What about you?" I asked. "What is your dream?"
"I don't have any dream," she said, eyes studying my face. "Because I have you. You are better than a thousand dreams. You are real."
My fork dropped from my hand, and just like that, I got up from my chair and rushed towards her. Allecra promptly welcomed me into her arms and settled me on her lap. I put my palms on her soft cheeks and stared into her eyes. Her long lashes looked like one of those glossy ads for mascara, so thick and curved.
"Will you stay with me, Allecra, for the rest of my life?" I said. My voice quivered with emotions.
"Why do you have to ask when you already know the answer?"
"I just want you to confirm it," I said.
"Nina, I will be with you, forever and always, I promise."
"Don't break your promise, okay?"
"I won't."
"What if you're forced to leave me?" I demanded. Allecra furrowed her brows at me at those words.
"What makes you think I would be forced to leave you?"
I bit my lower lip before I spoke.
"Eva talked with me the other day when we went out..." I started. "She said that you might break my heart by leaving me someday—just like you did with her. And even you don't want to, your siblings would make you. I remember what Xenon said to me. She wouldn't allow it, at least not for long."
Allecra sighed.
"Is that why I felt a strange kind of hesitation the morning before we came here?" she said.
I looked down, guilty.
"I just had too many questions about us."
"So what changed?"
"It came in spontaneity and also in perfect clarity that I know whatever happens, loving you is still worth everything in the end."
"I won't let anyone break us apart, Antonina," she said, using my full name as if in finality. "Not even Xenon and Triton. I had never known what I really wanted. It'd always been for my people, for the future generation of Arzuria, but now for the first time, I realized what I wanted for myself — and I want you. I do not take it lightly when I say that. No one can take you away from me."
It was in that moment that I gained a perfect understanding of both her heart and mine.
Allecra and I were quiet for a long time. The feeling of craving from last night flying between us in a crazy jagged way of a bird caught in a room. The feeling was so strong it made us unable to resist it anymore. Allecra narrowed her gaze to my lips then leaned forward until our lips joined in kisses. It always started gently and sweetly, but then growing more urgently, soft lips moving against each other, exchanging breaths and moans. It was crazy how we wanted each other again already. Every single inch of me became alive with the same starving need. Allecra seemed to feel the same way. That was the feeling I loved best in the world.
I got off Allecra so that she could run to my bag and grab a foil package. There was something wanton about all of it, but neither of us cared. Allecra returned to me. Her lips found mine amidst the passion.
She hoisted me onto the table and got between my legs. Her hands feverishly worked over the buttons of my shirt before stripped it off my shoulders though not all the way. We were in a hurry, and nothing was sexier and sensual than that. I was emboldened after everything was no longer tangled between us. It was the first time amongst other first-times as long as I could remember that this desire wasn't out of sexual perversion.
It was simply a way of being in love and showing it when all verses failed.
Allecra's secret member reappeared, springing forth from her panties when she pulled down the waistband. I shivered at the sight of it. She immediately put on a condom, not bothering to hide from me anymore. She kneeled over between my legs and eased my panties down and then off. Her roughness made my heart go nuts inside my chest. It was like she couldn't wait to taste me. All I felt was her velvety tongue and soft lips going all over my sensitive flesh, slipping in and out like something curious and hungry. Until my bloodstream turned to hot lava and my brain and body was on the verge of eruption that Allecra stood up to hold my trembling form in her arms. She took my hand and wrapped my fingers around her stiffness. It felt harder than the last time, miraculously hard.
We kissed again as our hands traveled even farther down to her girlhood. It was slippery just like mine. Allecra was very soft, too. I was amazed how it could be possible to be so soft and so hard at the same time.
After a while of this, she helped me off the table. I stood up, feeling my own wetness smeared on my inner thighs. Allecra sat down on the chair again.
"Come over here," she said, gesturing towards her.
Those words were like a casting spell over my body, and I did as I was told. She pulled off her panties all the way down, leaving only her tee. Then she pulled me over by the waist. I didn't know what she was doing, but as her hands helped to balance me, I automatically raised my leg and straddled her.
I felt the burning need intensified once I was spread, moving closer to Allecra's pinkish head. Her eyes once again took on a shade or two lighter.
"Allecra..." Our eyes traced one another's face.
"Trust me," she whispered.
I took in a sharp intake of air when I felt her tip poised right at my glistened entrance.
Without any more word passed, she let me sink into her. I was so wet that her hardness slipped right in, ending to the base and with no resistance at all. My walls quivered and tingled at the sweet impaling sensation. I whimpered while Allecra bit her lips and knitted her brows together in pleasure. Her breaths were hot and heavy on my chest. Now that I was completely sitting on her lap with every inch of her buried inside me, I didn't know what else to do.
I waited for Allecra to take action, but she only sucked on my breasts earnestly and stayed silent.
"Allecra..." I said in a coy tone.
"Hmm?" she said, still obsessing over my perked nipples. I was losing my patience.
"Shouldn't we start now?"
"If you want to, you start it," she said. Then I understood what she was doing. Allecra wanted me to be in charge, to break through my fear of sexual intimacy. She really took her sex therapy seriously. I was hot and embarrassed and desperate at the same time.
"Allecra please," I said and shook her a little. Instead, it sent a rush of blissful havoc up my inner depth and throughout my body. I gasped and felt her smile over my blushed skin.
Allecra flexed her hips a little under me, I moaned louder. And soon by sheer sexual instinct, my own hips began to stir like they had a life of their own. I tried to refrain myself, but it was fruitless once it started. Allecra seemed to enjoy seeing my growing enthusiasm. Her lips curved up at the corners smugly. I just wanted to
wipe that smile off her face. I wrapped my mouth around hers instead. She helped me gyrating against herself. I gave up feeling shy. I gave up being self-conscious and thinking and just becoming one with her.
We were perfectly fit into each other.
With Allecra tightening her hold around my waist, I clung to her neck like I was drowning. I began rocking myself harder, grounding onto her and clenching and swallowing her again and again until Allecra threw her head back and moaned with me. I kissed her neck but then had to let my back arch as the motion and intensity were taking us into a perfect limbo where nothing could stop us.
~*~
After we got back home, I tried to adjust to our old reality again. My head felt like it was having a hangover, a good kind of hangover. And the second-round was probably a mistake, not that Allecra didn't make me come, because she did, and it was really hard and powerful and all-consuming that I thought I had forgotten what universe I was in during that solid blissful moment, but it resulted in me walking home like a duck.
Piper was having some friends over when she caught me climbing up the stairs.
"Hey Nina, you're back?" she said. "How was the sleepover last night?"
I had texted her before we left to Alaska that I was going to have a sleepover at Allecra's house. She had been cool about it, and only replied with 'Have fun, gal!' and an emoji of two girls and a bed and some hearts.
"It was alright," I lied. “We studied for SAT test.”
Piper cringed.
"You guys are nerds," she said. "So nothing else? No eating tacos afterward?"
I shot her a look.
"Don't you have things to do with your friends, Piper?"
"Oh we're about to go out soon," she said. "Wait, is that a hickey?"
"No, it's not!" I said and then started to run up the stairs to my room as quickly as my feet could go. I heard Piper burst out laughing from below.
"You go, Nina!" she yelled.
Once inside my room, I closed the door behind me and leaned my back against it. A tiny smile on my lips began to stretch wider, and then I was giggling to myself.
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