by Alexa Kang
"What's that?"
"Stay alive. You and I didn't choose to be here. We're not here to earn medals. We're not here to prove we're warriors. All that matters is we stay alive, because if we're dead, then nothing else matters. Stay alive, and try to keep everyone else alive. That's all you need to worry about. Good job, bad job. What does it matter?" He held up his shot of scotch. "To staying alive." He downed his scotch. Anthony picked up his shot and did the same.
"You need to get your mind off everything else," Jesse said. "I know just the thing to do."
"On yeah?"
"After dinner, you're coming with me to pick up a couple of Red Cross donut girls. We'll all go watch the comedian together and have some fun. How about that?"
"No," Anthony said. "I'll go see the comedian but I'm not picking up any girls. I've told you before, I have a girlfriend."
"Who said anything about you?" Jesse signaled the bartender for more. "I am picking up both of the donut girls for me. I'm not planning on sharing. I only said you're coming with me. But feel free to tell them all about your girlfriend and how faithful you are to her. Girls swoon over that kind of stuff." With a conspiratorial smile, he gave Anthony his second shot. "You'll make me look good. I'm with you so they'll think I'm just like you."
Anthony laughed. Garland. The guy was outrageous.
But, was Garland right? Was he overthinking things? Was staying alive the only thing that mattered?
He thought of the ruins he had seen since he came to Italy. Cities, obliterated and turned to dust from Licata to Acerno and beyond. Naples, with its people starving and children begging for food from Darnell. Darnell, the mild man who loved children, the father of four kids who was better suited to selling ice cream than to fighting a war.
No. Staying alive could not be the only thing that mattered.
But Garland did say, stay alive, and try to keep everyone else alive. Wesley said the same thing. Wesley said it was now up to the two of them to look out for their men.
That was it. Keep everyone alive. He drank his second shot.
Yes. That was what he must do. Innocent civilians, fellow soldiers, the men in his unit. Especially the men in his unit. Keeping his men alive would be his own priority, no matter what Harding's plans and motives might be. He must do whatever it took to make sure of that.
28
When the vessel docked at the port of Naples, the only thing on Tessa's mind was to go straight to the administrative office to find Colonel Callahan. All newly arrived personnel must report to Callahan's office to obtain their registration instructions, but she could not care less about all that. What she wanted was to find out where Anthony was and to go see him.
Behind her, Gracie Hall, her cabin mate on the ship who was also assigned to the 33rd Field Hospital, walked as fast as she could trying to keep pace with her. The trip had been grueling for Gracie. She had lived in Wisconsin all her life and had never been on an ocean liner. While at sea, a storm raged for three days, bringing horrifying waves. So seasick, she kept telling Tessa she was going to die. It was a total relief for them both when they at last landed.
But now that they had landed, they were practically sprinting to the registration office instead of taking it easy as Gracie had hoped. "Tessa! Slow down. Wait for me. What's the hurry?"
"You can go at your own pace," Tessa said.
"I'm afraid I'll get lost. I've never been to a foreign country before. I've never even been to another state until I was deployed."
"Then hurry." Tessa continued on at an even faster speed.
They reached Colonel Callahan's office with Gracie completely out of breath. Tessa pushed the office door open and went straight to the staff sergeant on duty. "Hello," she said, her voice full of anticipation. "We're nurses arriving for duty with the 33rd Field Hospital. We're here to register."
"Lieutenants," the staff sergeant said. "May I have your names please?"
"I'm Tessa Graham."
"I'm Gracie Hall," Gracie said from behind Tessa.
"Just a moment please." The staff sergeant pulled two folders of documents from the file cabinet and handed one to each of them. "This is a map of the area. Follow this street, make a left turn two blocks from the post office here, go another three blocks and you'll find the General Hospital. The nurses of the 33rd Field Hospital are stationed there. Here are your registration papers and passes. Keep them safe with you at all times."
"Thank you." Tessa took the information. "Is Colonel Callahan here? May I please speak with him?"
"May I ask what your business is with the colonel?"
"General Frank Castile sent me. He told me to speak to the colonel directly."
"I see. Please wait." The staff sergeant went to an office upstairs.
While they waited, Gracie asked, "You want to see the colonel?"
"Yes," Tess said. "My boyfriend is here. The Colonel can help me locate him."
Realization dawned on Gracie. "That's why you were in such a hurry."
The staff sergeant returned with an older man who wore a full bird on his army uniform. "Lieutenant Graham," he said to Tessa. "You've arrived. I've been expecting you. General Castile sent me a message about you."
"Colonel," Tessa said. "General Castile told me to come see you when I got here. He said you'd be able to help me locate Lieutenant Anthony Ardley. He's a second lieutenant with the Third Infantry Division."
"Yes, of course. Bad timing though. The Third Infantry left for a mission yesterday. They're due to be relieved in two weeks. I'll be sure to arrange for you to meet up with him when his unit returns."
Tessa's heart sank. Two weeks. She made it all the way here and still she had to wait another two weeks.
It's all right, she told herself. Just two more weeks.
Following the staff sergeant's road directions, Tessa and Gracie came to the army General Hospital at Naples. From the outside, the hospital's exterior was unremarkable, having been previously a local hospital which the Allies had taken over after their arrival. Inside, though, was a massive scene of organized chaos unlike any hospital Tessa had ever seen. Too many people were in transit and too many things were happening all at once. All the operating systems seemed to be a patchwork. Make-shift surgical wards, stacks of cartons and metal boxes used as chairs and tables, the place was held together with ingenious but temporary and desperate solutions thought up by someone to make up for the lack of one thing or another.
And so many people. Everywhere, cots and beds filled with wounded soldiers resting or asleep from exhaustion lay all around in no particular order. By the hospital entrance, nearly a hundred men, all immobilized by war injuries, spread across the floor. Their litters were up against each other with no place in between. They lay waiting to be carried to a medical vessel to return home, if and when a ship arrived. There was no telling when. Strangely, they looked to be in good spirits. Perhaps they felt relief because for them, the war was over.
With Gracie behind her, Tessa went up to the second floor and made her way to the hospital's administrative offices. There, she found a familiar figure at a table reviewing patient files with another nurse.
"Ellie!"
Ellie Swanson looked up. "Tessa?" She dropped the files and gave Tessa a welcoming hug. "You arrived! I've been looking forward to seeing you since I got your letter telling me you're coming. This is unbelievable. You did it. You're here!"
"Hi there," Gracie said from behind Tessa, "I'm Gracie Hall. I'm assigned to the 33rd Field Hospital too."
"Hello Gracie," Ellie said.
"Don't forget me," said the other nurse in the office. "I'm Irene."
"Tessa, you and Irene will have much to talk about," Ellie said. "Irene's sister is an actress in New York." She turned to Irene. "Tessa's father is an actor in London."
"We'll have to trade stories," Irene said to Tessa. "Ellie, why don't you help them get oriented? I can finish up here."
"Yes," Ellie said to Tessa and Gracie. "Let me take y
ou to our quarters."
After settling in, Ellie took them on a tour of the hospital, guiding them through the different parts of the building and introducing them to the hospital staff. "Our unit is on reserve right now because the army has just secured Naples last month," Ellie said. "Some troops are still on the front north of here holding the line. For a while, it looked like we would follow them and continue up north, but last week, the army command changed course and pulled everyone back, so for now we are on hold. Many of us in 33rd are helping out here until we get instructions for our next mission. There's a minor epidemic of malaria going on so we're all very busy."'
The door swung open when they passed a surgical unit. A middle-aged doctor came out looking exhausted from having finished another surgical procedure, but as soon as he saw Ellie, energy returned to his face.
"Ellie," the doctor said.
"Dr. Haley," Ellie said, reflexively running her hand down her hair and pushing it behind her ear. She sounded almost shy. Tessa had never heard her speak like this to a doctor before. "Doctor, this is Tessa Graham and Gracie Hall. They just arrived. They're joining our hospital unit," Ellie turned to Tessa and Gracie. "This is Colonel Aaron Haley, Chief Surgeon and Superintendent of the 33rd Field Hospital."
"Pleasure to meet you both," the doctor said, extending his hand for a handshake. It was an unexpected gesture by a superior ranking officer.
Tessa shook his hand. The doctor, perhaps in his mid-forties, looked relatively handsome despite being tired. His handshake felt steady and reliable. When he smiled, the gentle kindness in his eyes disarmed her. She felt at ease with him right away. "Pleased to meet you too, Colonel."
"Same here, sir." Gracie shook his hand.
"I'd really prefer it if you all call me doctor instead of colonel or sir." He looked at his watch. "It's almost lunch time. I'm hungry. Should we all go and have lunch?" He asked them all but was looking only at Ellie. Ellie did not answer but looked down at the floor. A blush of pink passed on her cheeks.
Seeing Ellie's reaction, Tessa said, "Thank you, Doctor Haley. We would definitely like that."
"Let's go then," he said. Ellie was about to say something when a harsh voice interrupted her.
"Swanson! I thought I told you to organize the X-ray files. What are you doing loitering around here?"
Tessa looked past Ellie to see where the harsh voice came from. An older nurse, possibly in her forties, approached. Her glasses obscured her eyes. A bitter hardness hung on the corners of her lips. Her hair, pulled back tightly into a bun, looked dry, brittle, and uncared for even for military nurses too busy to tend to vanity grooming. She held her head high, as if she wanted to show off her low-maintenance appearance as a symbol of superiority.
"I'm sorry, Captain," Ellie said. "This is Tessa Graham and Gracie Hall. They're our new replacements for 33rd. They arrived this morning. I'm showing them around the hospital." She turned to Tessa and Gracie. "Captain Fran Milton is the 33rd's Chief Nurse. We all report to her."
Milton eyed Tessa and Gracie up and down once. Without addressing them, she said to Ellie, "Finish your tour and take them to Lieutenant Sanford. Get them assigned to work immediately. Then I want you to finish organizing those X-ray files today. Your inefficiency is trying my patience, Lieutenant."
Tessa could not believe Milton's harsh tone toward Ellie. Ellie was so nice and sweet to everybody. How could anyone talk to Ellie this way? Inefficient? Ellie? Everyone knew Ellie was an excellent nurse. What was this woman talking about?
"Captain," Dr. Haley said. "These young ladies just arrived. Why not give them a break? I'm about to take them to the canteen for lunch."
"Colonel, if you don't mind me saying, someone of your rank and file should know better than to fraternize with young nurses of lower rank."
"You know I'm not big on military etiquette. We're not soldiers. We are medical professionals." He gave the three young nurses a reassuring smile. "Anyway, it's lunch time and we're all hungry."
"We're not here to socialize, Colonel. We have a lot of work to do." Milton held the files she was holding up to her chest. "Swanson, finish your tour and show the new nurses where to get K rations from the kitchen. Then take them to Sanford as I said and get them assigned to shifts to start work right away."
"Yes, ma'am," Ellie said.
Milton wasn't finished. "Colonel, since you are on your way to the canteen, then it's a perfect time for you and I to have a working lunch to go over our management procedures for our next mission, as well as our plans for repatriating patients."
Tessa glanced at Ellie, whose disappointment was obvious.
"Well, Lieutenant?" Milton said to Ellie. "Go."
"Yes, ma'am," Ellie answered and signaled Tessa and Gracie to follow her. Tessa wanted to say goodbye to Dr. Haley, but his gaze followed only Ellie while Ellie walked away. Tessa decided to leave him be.
29
For days, the rain would not let up. The dreary cold and wetness tested Tessa to her limit. The climate of the approaching winter here was even worse than England. Things would be better if they had heat and electricity, but the Germans had destroyed the city's utility lines and cables. Relief from the weather would come only if the systems were fixed, but the constant rain kept hampering the repair progress itself. There was no relief from the weather because of the broken heating system, and the broken heating system could not be fixed because of the weather. It was all one dreadful, vicious cycle.
Whenever she thought that she could not tolerate it anymore, she thought of Anthony. He had it worse, she reminded herself. How miserable it must be to be outside all the time and sleeping in pup tents and foxholes in this weather. She would not let herself complain. As long as she could see him, everything else she could endure. She focused on her work and did her best to help the patients. That, too, was challenging because of equipment shortages and lack of supplies, and overcapacity of patients continued to be a problem.
No matter, she thought. Each hour that passed brought her closer to the day when she and Anthony would be together again.
When the rain eventually stopped, the day was brightened not only by the rare sun, but also the word that she had been waiting for from Colonel Callahan's office. Anthony's division had returned. An armored jeep had come to take her to his base camp in Naples. On Colonel Callahan's order, she was to be relieved from duty for the afternoon.
Nervous anticipation filled her heart during the ride. She had looked forward to this moment for so long. Now that she was about to see him, she felt overwhelmed. How should she greet him? What should she say to him? He would be so shocked, for sure, but would he be happy to see her? They had not seen each other for almost a year. Would everything still feel the same? Emotions whirled in her heart like waves.
The vehicle stopped at a roundabout surrounding a water fountain. In the center of the fountain was the statue of the Roman goddess Iris carrying a water pitcher and pouring water onto the ground. No water flowed from the pitcher though since the water pipes were broken, but at least, the statue remained intact and unharmed. A remnant of the city's beauty was preserved.
A full convoy of military vehicles was parked on the cobbled-stone streets. Her driver pointed to a building beyond the crowd of returning soldiers. "Check with the administrative outpost over there," he said. "They'll be able to help you."
But she didn't need their help. She already saw him. He was right before her eyes, standing by an armored truck talking to three other men while soldiers unloaded packs of guns and equipment from the vehicle.
"I'll pick you up back here in two hours," the driver said. Barely listening, she thanked him as he drove away.
Hesitant, she walked toward him, but stopped. She couldn't just walk up to him, could she? Would her unexpected appearance cause a scene? There were other soldiers with him. This was too embarrassing. All she could do was look at him.
He looked so good in his uniform. Just seeing him like this made her heart melt.
She stood there, watching him, wondering what she should do. At first, he did not notice her. Deep in conversation with the other three soldiers, he glanced briefly in her direction, pointed at something behind her, and looked away.
And then, as if something turned in his mind, he looked in her direction again. This time, he froze. He stopped talking and stared at her, his face in complete shock.
"Lieutenant?" Jonesy asked. "Lieutenant, what's the matter?"
Anthony did not answer. The others with whom he was talking all turned in the direction he was looking. Stunned, Anthony walked toward her.
"Lieutenant?" Jonesy called out to him.
Anthony ignored him and continued walking as if he did not hear him. He came up to Tessa and grabbed her shoulders. Although he couldn't utter a word, she could see a thousand questions on his face.
"Yes," she said. "Yes, it's really me."
Without saying anything, he wrapped her tightly in his arms and kissed her. His kiss was so voracious and deep, it almost suffocated her. Laughing, she put her own arms around him. At last, she could feel him. He was really there, tangibly there in her arms again.
Behind him, the three men he was talking to watched in wild disbelief.
"Yowser!" Jonesy shouted. "Holy Mother of Christ! Am I really seeing what I'm seeing?"
Embarrassed, she pulled back. She did not mean to be so indiscreet, but for a moment, she had forgotten all the people around them. The instant her and Anthony's eyes met, she felt as if only the two of them existed.
She glanced over at the three men. One of them, the one with raven dark hair, caught her eye. She could not help noticing his extraordinary good looks. Having grown up in the theater community with her father, she had seen her share of good-looking people. Rarely could anyone impress her with their looks. But this young man was so exceptionally attractive, even she noticed. He, too, was looking at her. His intense, dark eyes drew her attention like an enigma.
