by MV Kasi
"Of course I want to stay in touch and be involved," he gritted.
She nodded slightly at the look of annoyance on his face. She had come here for a purpose, and she was done.
And now, it was his turn.
She stood up to leave, but she suddenly felt the ground tilt below her. The added stress and her usual nausea were making her feel dizzy from the past few weeks.
Seeing her sway, Ajay rushed to her side to hold her arm firmly.
"Are you okay?" he asked gruffly in concern.
"Yeah. Slightly dizzy, that's all. A little food and rest, I'll be right as rain," she replied.
"Sit down for a while. I'll get you some water and food—"
"No. I don't want anything. Just give me a minute to recover."
She sat back on the couch, and pulled out a few dry biscuits from her purse. After having a couple of them, she felt slightly better.
Ajay was frowning at her. "I'm not comfortable with you driving in this condition. And it's pouring outside. Let me drop you—"
"I'm fine, Ajay. I didn't drive. Someone else drove me here. Please carry on with your call and whatever plans you have for the evening."
Right on cue his phone began to ring again.
She got up from the chair. "No need to see me off. I'm really fine," she repeated.
But Ajay ignored her, and followed behind her as she walked out of his penthouse. And before she could say anything, he pressed the elevator button, and stood waiting next to her.
And when the elevator arrived, she didn't get in. She stood still, looking at him, making it obvious that she was waiting for him to get back inside.
But when he didn't react, or indicate in any way that he was going to leave, she raised an eyebrow at him. "I think I know how to operate an elevator and find my way down without your help," she said, turning away from him. She kept her back ramrod straight, and raised her chin up, giving him the impression that she was dismissing him.
She had the knack of knowing how to rub people the wrong way. At first, she had used it as a defense mechanism. Later, she used it to get people off her back.
Even with someone like Ajay—who was usually pretty chivalrous and easygoing—it worked. He looked at her for a while, and then nodded curtly before getting back to his penthouse and closing the door shut.
When she was quite sure he wouldn't be returning anytime soon, she sighed in relief.
She moved away from the elevator and began to walk towards the stairs.
Her legs, which had been shaky at the thought of taking the elevator, became slightly steady again.
She hated taking the elevators.
And even when she was forced to take them sometimes, especially in high rises or for some other occasions, she would discreetly rock back and forth, staring at the control panel, praying that the elevator didn't stop to let anyone in.
Stairs were better. But only slightly. Because they weren't the safest places either. Most gruesome scenes and attacks could happen on the staircases too.
The only good thing about Ajay's building's stairs was that they were visible from the main doors of the other residents' homes.
She could scream, and someone would see her. She could escape relatively easily.
She kept repeating that thought in her paranoid head. But her heart never slowed from its panicked thudding, and she felt even more breathless because of it.
Luckily Ajay's penthouse was only five floors up. And so by the time she walked outside towards the car, she was only slightly breathless.
She was getting out of shape. And also weaker.
A month ago, after learning that she was pregnant, she had to give up her intense workouts. She had settled for some light exercise regime, which she hoped would keep her fit until she could get back to being strong.
She shook her head slightly, to stop the world from spinning, and especially to get rid of those more persistent paranoid thoughts that were waiting to rush into her mind.
Maybe she should have stayed at Ajay’s place a little longer until the dizziness went away completely. But he wasn’t thrilled to see her again at his home. And neither was he thrilled to hear the news she had delivered to him.
She knew she could have let him know about her pregnancy in a much tactful way. But however tactful she could have possibly gotten, there was no way that particular news would have been received with calm acceptance from his end.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the blinking lights, and a short car horn in the parking lot.
She went towards it and opened the door. "You okay, Sia?" asked the woman who had driven her here.
"I'm fine," she replied, even as her hands trembled slightly, remembering how closely she had escaped taking the elevator.
Claustrophobia.
It was one of the several phobias that she still suffered from. Along with paranoia.
According to Dr. Patel, they should slowly disappear once she began to 'heal'. But what exactly was healing, she didn't know. And how can someone who had suffered what she did, ever recover or heal?
Sighing, she closed her eyes to rest briefly while the car drove across the city, heading towards her house in the suburbs.
Ajay's words swam through her head. I'll need proof that the baby is mine.
Any other woman would have shown proper outrage at that statement. But she hadn't. She couldn't. Maybe she should have at least pretended.
But Ajay was quite intuitive, even though he didn't know enough about her. He didn't know that when it came to her former life, it was an extremely plausible question.
"What is wrong with you, Sia? I told you I loved you, and that I wanted to spend my life with you," shouted a distraught guy.
Krish was his name, and he had caught her in bed having sex with his roommate. She had known that he would be back to his dorm at that time, and had deliberately planned to be caught by him.
"Spend our lives?" she laughed at him, not bothering to cover up. But the other shocked guy next to her on the bed pulled the blanket over her, and them himself in a hurried manner.
Ignoring him, she stared at Krish. "We are just nineteen, Krish. No one decides anything permanent at our age. And besides, what kind of an idiot thinks he is in love after a month of being together?" she mocked.
She was in the second year of college and there were plenty of guys available to get her fix. Krish was her last conquest. When he had confessed to her that he was attracted to her, she had taken him to his dorm room for a quick round of sex. But he was quite good. Good enough for her to meet him each night from the past month.
It was one of her longest hook-ups. But the last time they had been together, Krish had confessed to her that he had fallen in love with her and wanted to spend his life with her.
Which was why it was time for him to go.
"Come on Krish, stop boring me with this emotional outburst. Why don't you join us? It'll be fun," she told him, patting the empty space on the bed below with a smile.
"You are sick! And trash! I don't know why I thought I saw something beautiful in you. If only the outside matched your rotten core. You have no conscience or soul!" Krish raged and stormed out.
Sia sighed. Sex was sex as far as she was concerned. There was nothing more to it than a physical connection between two bodies. Or sometimes more bodies.
Of course movies, books and some poets would fiercely argue otherwise. And some foolish idiots like her previous conquest were influenced by them.
"He really looked upset. I feel even guiltier now," her new conquest spoke, looking worried.
She had forgotten about him during the drama. She didn't even remember the guy's name or know much about him. She only knew that he was charmingly clumsy. Probably because he was a virgin until she had initiated him. But what he lacked in skills in bed like his roommate, he more than made up with his enthusiasm to be led.
She slid out of the bed, and stood up naked, smiling into the glazed eyes of her victim as he
watched her.
"Tell Krish the truth. That I seduced you. That you had no choice but to follow my lead," she said. She pulled up her jeans. "So tomorrow again, here at nine?" she asked.
Her victim nodded helplessly.
She had always chosen men who were willing to be led.
When it came to a chase, she was always the predator...
But over the past three years, after a life changing incident, she had ensured that her lifestyle had changed drastically. And even more since she had moved to India from Boston.
And during the past eight months in Hyderabad, she hadn't dated anyone, and neither did she show any interest in doing so. She had kept a low enough profile that people didn't pry. And the few men, who had dared to be interested in her, gave up when she froze them with her coldness.
All she was interested in was her mission. And she wasn't going to rest until her real prey was captured. No matter how many other people she had to use or hurt.
Including Ajay.
CHAPTER FOUR
"YOU ARE RIGHT, Little Princess. Playing hide and seek is so much fun. Let me join you in there."
Sia woke up with a gasp.
It wasn't a dream. It was a flashback.
She hated having flashbacks. And they came at the worst times.
According to Dr. Patel, daytime flashbacks were one of the symptoms of stress caused by a trauma.
"Sorry for startling you, Sia. We've reached your place," said the woman who drove her.
It was dark outside, and she could see the brightly lit lights of her house. She had purchased the house not for its beauty, but rather for the privacy.
"Thanks Anjali. Come inside for a while," she invited, getting down the car.
Anjali smiled and took up her offer.
Anjali was an old friend and also one of the marketing directors who worked for her at the company. Over the past few days, Anjali had been giving her a ride to work.
When they stood in front of the main door, Sia scanned her fingerprints and then her irises. After which, she entered a code to finally unlock the door to get inside her house.
She also called for the maid who lived a couple of minutes away from the house.
A few minutes later, she and Anjali sat down with steaming cups of coffee and snacks.
A couple of days ago, she had told Anjali about the pregnancy. She did it because Anjali had been very concerned about the frequency of nausea and dizziness at their work.
Taking a long whiff of the strong coffee, she sat back without sipping any. "God, I miss coffee," she remarked, staring at the coffee placed artistically in a small steel glass and bowl with regretful eyes.
"Some pregnant women drink caffeine. One cup a day, I believe. I’m sure it might be okay," said Anjali.
"Maybe. But I don't want to risk it."
She had given up caffeine since she began the hormone therapy a few months ago. She didn't want to take any chances.
At her reply, Anjali stared at her in bemusement. She had often caught Anjali doing that, and she couldn't blame her. The old Sia that Anjali knew from much before had zero self-control over most things.
They had met in Boston during their undergraduate studies, where both of them were business majors.
During their college, Anjali had been passionate about organic and eco-friendly cosmetic items, because of which she had a chance to intern at Blush Enterprises, a small company Sia's aunt had built into a huge corporation over the years.
And during that time, Sia hadn't given a shit or been serious about anything in her life, let alone intern at Blush Enterprises. But things changed for her during the final year.
It was Anjali who had found her after the drug overdose.
She felt she owed Anjali her life. And it was also one of the other reasons why she had decided to work closely with Anjali in-spite of her trust issues.
"I'll set up an early morning meeting tomorrow, to go over the new season's product line," said Anjali.
Sia nodded. "Sure. I'll go through the budget with the team tomorrow, and we can pick the ones we can release over the coming season."
When Sia moved away from Boston to open a new branch of Blush Enterprises, she looked up for Anjali and was able to find her. At that time, Anjali was working for another major cosmetic business. But after Sia offered her a better position as a creative and marketing head in Blush Enterprises, she accepted, and they began to work together.
The executive board of Blush Enterprises wasn't too happy having a young and relatively inexperienced employee at such a critical role in the new region. But Sia knew her instincts would be right. And they had been.
Anjali and she made a good team. And with the right kind marketing and sales techniques along with Anjali's local business contacts, the new Blush stores that had opened, met with a good amount of success within less than a year.
"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow then," said Anjali.
Seeing Anjali off, Sia returned back to the house.
"Do you need anything else?" the maid asked her.
"No. I'm fine. You can leave now. I'll call you if I need anything."
The maid nodded and left. But not before giving a long speculative glance at Sia's stomach.
The loss of appetite and weight weren't probably the only giveaway. Sia was nauseous by simply looking at certain foods. She often ran towards the bathroom to puke her guts out.
Well, soon people would find out anyway. In fact I have to advertize my pregnancy.
As soon as the maid left, Sia locked up immediately. Her hands were trembling slightly, noticing the dark outside.
As always, she felt like a phony.
She put on a brave, confident and cool act when she was with other people. But when she was alone, especially during the nights...that's when all the chips fell off.
She was still a coward.
She wasn't magically cured.
The neighborhood was safe, but as always she double-checked the deadbolt on the doors. She went to every window to make sure each one was locked. And instead of turning off all the lamps, she left most of them on, especially the ones that looked out onto the street. Just so people would think she was still awake.
Then going into her bedroom, and then into the attached bathroom, she checked behind the shower door. And then, coming outside, she placed a chair underneath the locked doorknob of the bathroom.
She did the same with the heavy bedroom door.
The house was huge. There was a watchman outside, and the maid's quarter was close enough. But still... she felt it was always better to be prepared than be sorry.
When she finished securing her room, she made her nightly call. It was answered after a couple of rings.
"You are late," a gruff male voice said.
"Sorry about that. You know I had an important thing to do today," she said quietly.
There was a pause.
"You broke the news to that pretty boy?" the man asked.
"Yes."
More silence.
"I don't like him or trust him," the man said.
"You have never met Ajay to form an opinion about him. He is a good person. Maybe a little too nice, especially to be used by me in this way. But it's too late to do anything about it now."
There was another pause.
She heard a sigh on the phone. "Are you coming to meet me tonight?" he asked.
"No, I'll meet you tomorrow."
"Okay."
"Good night, Varun," she said and hung up.
She lay on the bed, feeling slightly jumpier than usual. Rubbing her still flat belly, she let herself think of the father of her child.
Ajay.
A sweet, funny, passionate, and fearless man. She hated what she was doing with him—lying and manipulating him.
Sometimes she wanted to be honest about what she wanted from him. But there was no way she could do that. Because she couldn't afford to trust him. And besides, it was too late, since she had already pu
t several things in motion.
The only saving grace about the whole thing was that, during all their interactions, she didn't have to put on an act in front of Ajay. She had always been her cold, unemotional self. But Ajay had still pursued her, as though he found the real her, quite interesting.
CHAPTER FIVE
EIGHT MONTHS AGO
Sia pushed the ear buds of her headphones into her ear and strapped her phone to her arm. She turned the volume of the thumping bass up, until it was almost at the hearing damage levels. She wanted to block out everything as she focused on her workout.
She could have gone on her usual run a little early, but she didn't want to. She needed to hit something. Hard.
So she was at the gym, trying to pound away her frustration at a bag with jabs and kicks. Wrapping her hands with the gloves, she moved towards one of the hanging bags. Immediately, she started pummeling her fists in, as though it was someone's face and body.
But unfortunately, the longer she threw in the punches and kicks, the worse she felt. She felt suffocated due to the lack of control she was feeling with regards to her plan.
Even though the music was blaring in her ear, and she tried to stay focused purely on the target, her mind still wandered.
It had been a two weeks since she had moved from Boston. Since then, she had been religiously working on her goal, trying to find some contacts.
And during her digging, she tried finding out that one person who had been kind to her and helped her feel safe momentarily.
But she was met with devastating news.
She had called up her old school where she was enrolled for two years from the age of seven. When the call got answered, she could hear the background noises of the school. The same old bell marking the lunch hour.
"Hi, I am calling to speak to Mrs. Sita Chandra. I know she might have retired or no longer works at the school. But can you please give me her forwarding contact number or address?" she asked.
A man answered. "I'm sorry. Mrs. Sita Chandra passed away almost fifteen years ago."
