by Anna Post
Elderflower Mimosas
(page 109)
Louise’s Spring Pea Soup
(page 145)
Curried Cashew Chicken on Bibb Lettuce
(opposite)
Whole Grain Toasts
Birthday Cake or Buttermilk Feather Cake with Nutmeg
(page 85)
Whole Strawberries
Curried Cashew Chicken
Serves 4 as a main-course salad
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 tablespoon kosher salt
2 tablespoons good-quality fresh curry powder
1 cup roughly chopped toasted cashews
¼ cup roughly chopped raisins or currants
1/3 cup full-fat yogurt, preferably Greek yogurt
¼ cup roughly chopped fresh cilantro
¼ cup finely sliced scallions
Juice of ½ lemon
Preheat the oven to 350°F.
Rub the chicken with the salt, then rub in all of the curry powder. Place on a lightly oiled or parchment-lined baking sheet pan and bake until just cooked through (160°F), 10 to 15 minutes. Let cool to room temperature. Cut the chicken into ¼-inch dice, and, in a medium bowl, mix in the remaining ingredients. This may be done up to 24 hours in advance.
To serve as a salad, place ½ cup or more of the chicken on a bed of butter lettuce. Garnish with cucumber slices, slices of peeled orange, additional cashews and raisins, or any combination of the above.
To serve as an appetizer, serve on crostini or in cucumber cups. To make cucumber cups, peel lengthwise stripes into the skin of a hothouse or English cucumber. Cut crosswise into ½-inch-thick slices. Using a small spoon or melon baller, hollow out the shallow center of each slice, being careful not to scoop through to the other side. Lightly salt each cup and fill with several teaspoons of chicken salad. Garnish with plucked cilantro or chopped scallions.
Showers
Whether they’re held to honor a new baby or a bride, showers are a lovely tradition. Friends and family of the happy couple or the expectant parents literally shower them with gifts for their new home or child. Showers range from simple and casual to elaborate—and while they were once for girls only, these days guys are often included as well. They’re meant to be adaptable to busy schedules, and can be held almost any time of day—even after dinner. Anyone can host a shower, but guests should be limited to family and close friends of the honoree. Most baby showers are held a month or so before the mom’s due date, although some people prefer to wait until after the baby’s safe arrival.
Wedding and baby showers usually last 1½ to 2½ hours, enough time for refreshments, gift opening, and perhaps games. Match the food to the time of day, but lighter fare is the norm. The gift opening is the main event, with everyone oohing and aahing as each present is unwrapped. Some honorees find it overwhelming to be the center of so much attention, so it’s fine to stagger the gift opening with refreshments, a game, or conversation. As for the refreshments, you may opt to skip alcohol if it’s a daytime event. Serve iced tea or lemonade, or make punch or spritzers with a pretty fruit garnish. Nuts, crudités, and little tea sandwiches make a great start and cookies or cake a lovely finish. Cupcakes, whether homemade or store-bought, offer room for lots of creativity with the frosting.
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Thoughtful Showers
All first time parents—couples, single, or adopting—can benefit from a shower to help welcome the new addition to their family. It’s okay to have showers for second and even third children, but be sensitive and limit the guest list to family, close friends, and new friends—you don’t want to overtax anyone’s generosity.
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Shower Invite Smarts
Consult with the honoree(s) about the guest list.
Send out invitations 4 to 6 weeks ahead of the party. Shower invites are usually mailed, but e-vites and even phone invitations are fine.
Include the honoree’s name, the date and time, where the shower’s being held, and RSVP contact info.
Add directions to the host’s house.
For a wedding shower, list the theme: kitchen, bar, lingerie, monogram. For a baby shower, list nursery colors or boy or girl if known.
Never, never, never put specific gift requests or registry information on the invitation! You always want to keep the focus on the people, not the gifts. Since showers are a gift occasion, it’s fine to include a separate note with registry info. As the host, keep a list of what the honoree might need or like, and share it with guests who inquire when they RSVP.
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Saying Thanks
All wedding and baby shower gifts must be acknowledged with a thank-you note, even if the honoree thanked the participants in person. You can help your honoree by:
Asking a guest to be a recorder, writing down each gift as it’s opened, along with a short description (“onesie” alone won’t give her a clue whether Aunt Christine gave her the pink one or the blue) and the name of the giver. This list is critical, especially if a card gets separated from a gift.
Providing her with names and addresses of all the guests. Note: It’s tacky to have guests preaddress their own thank-you notes, no matter how “efficient” that might seem. A handwritten note is a handwritten note, envelope and all.
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Welcome!
Celebrate your new or renovated house or apartment with a housewarming party for friends and neighbors. Plan to spend time giving tours, unless you’re comfortable letting your guests explore on their own. Needless to say, everything—even closets—should be in tip-top shape. People’s curiosity knows no bounds, and at a housewarming it’s considered fair game to look anywhere and everywhere. (Items such as bills, prescriptions, and underwear should be out of sight—for everyone’s sake!) If you’re planning on being the tour guide, designate a partner or friend to greet guests at the door.
A housewarming is often a cocktail party or cocktail buffet, as simple or as elaborate as you wish. Or it can be “Drop by for minestrone, bread, and salad on Sunday afternoon.” Phoned, e-mailed, or informal written invitations all work well for this kind of event, but be sure to issue them two to three weeks ahead. Because a housewarming is similar to an open house, add a start and end time to your invitation. Three to four hours is a typical time frame, with guests coming and going. If you’re inviting a small group, include only a start time and expect the party to last two to three hours.
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Presents for You
It’s traditional for guests to bring gifts to celebrate your new digs, a birthday, or an anniversary. If you have a small group and everyone brought a gift, open them at the party and thank the giver in person. Otherwise, save them to open later and send a thank-you note. By the way, rule or not, a thank-you note is always appreciated.
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Happy Anniversary
Young couples celebrate early anniversaries on their own or with a small cocktail or dinner party with friends. The guest list can include family members and their children, members of the couple’s wedding party, and friends.
Hosting Away from Home
You might decide to host certain parties—like a significant birthday or your parents’ anniversary—at a club or restaurant. There are definite advantages to this, especially if you’d like to invite more people than you can fit comfortably into your home, or if the honoree lives far away and you’re hosting the party in their town. If you do this, the one guideline you absolutely must follow is that you cannot ask your guests to help pay the bill. (See Who Pays?, page 188.)
The key to a successful party away from home is to arrange everything with the club or restaurant manager ahead of time. Once you’ve secured your date and sent out invitations, meet the manager to discuss the menu and beverage options. If you have a cocktail hour you can either offer an open bar and run a tab, or offer a signature cocktail, wine, beer, and nonalcoholic options. It’s fine to select a red and a white wine to serve with dinner (and
a Champagne or sparkling wine for toasts). You can either choose one meal that’s served to all, or create a mini menu from what the venue offers. This second option lets guests choose among a limited number of appetizers, entrées, and desserts. If all the items are in a similar price range, it makes it easy to stay within your budget while still offering choices. For a nice flourish, print your chosen menu on card stock and set the menus at each place setting so guests can check out their choices before the waitstaff takes orders (they make nice keepsakes, too!).
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Who Pays?
You wouldn’t ask your guests to pay for dinner at your home, so don’t ask them to do so if your party’s held elsewhere. When you’re the host, you pick up the tab. Better to host a smaller or less elaborate party at home than risk insulting guests with an invitation asking them to pay $50 a head. Worse would be to invite guests simply to celebrate Tim’s birthday, say, and then—surprise!—expect them to split the bill when it arrives.
If a group decides to host the party together, then splitting the cost is fine—but everyone should agree on the concept and the details ahead of time. Invitations are then sent to the honoree(s) and any other guests (who, of course, are not required to pay anything). Include the names of all the hosts on the invitation, so guests know who to thank.
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Group Gifts
A popular idea these days is the group gift, where family and friends pool their resources for a big-ticket gift, like a baby stroller or an anniversary trip. While this is a fine idea in theory, group gifts can run into etiquette problems if they’re not handled carefully. A few tips to keep in mind when going this route:
Remember, the choice of gift is always up to the giver. If someone chooses to opt out of a group gift in favor of giving something else, that’s her prerogative.
Gift information should be on a separate enclosure with the invitation, not on the invitation itself.
Refrain from asking people for a specific amount. Instead, be willing to accept (and keep anonymous) all contributions. Deliver the gift (or the check) with a card that includes the names of everyone who contributed, so the giftee can send a thank-you note to each person.
Giving Toasts
If you’re hosting a special occasion like a birthday or an anniversary, it’s your privilege, if you wish, to offer a toast to your guest of honor. No need to be intimidated: The best toasts are short and come from the heart. A simple “To Susie: May each birthday find you among good friends” will fit the bill. Or you can share reminiscences, tell a story, or speak to your guest of honor’s best qualities.
You don’t need a special occasion to make a toast, however. No matter what kind of party it is, if the mood is right, it’s lovely to give an informal toast to good friends around the table.
Toasting Tips
At a dinner party, it’s the host or hostess’s prerogative to give the first toast.
If the hosts don’t offer a toast, a guest may propose a toast saluting the hosts.
Typically, toasts are proposed as soon as wine or Champagne is served—usually at the beginning of the meal or just before dessert.
The person proposing the toast stands or raises a glass and gathers everyone’s attention before launching into the toast itself.
At the conclusion of the toast, everyone except the honoree(s) stands or raises their glasses and drinks.
The honoree doesn’t rise or drink the toast; instead he or she simply smiles, nods, and enjoys. After the toast or toasts are drunk, the honoree rises and drinks to his or her toasters in return with a “Thank you” or his or her own toast.
No need for everyone to drain their glasses during a toast—a sip will do just fine.
You don’t need an alcoholic beverage to propose or drink to a toast. Any liquid will do, but we think it’s more fun if the drink is something bubbly: Champagne, sparkling wine, sparkling water, fruit juice spritzers, or ginger ale. (See Chapter 8, Delicious Drinks, page 95, for more on Champagne and sparkling wine.)
When the Party’s all About You
If you’re the lucky honoree at a shower, birthday, anniversary, farewell, or other party, you know you have some pretty good friends. Sometimes, though, it’s hard to be the center of all the attention. Just remember that people are making a fuss because they care about you and want to celebrate your milestones with you. So do your very best to jump into the spirit of the event with a smile, and go along graciously with everything your hosts have planned. Be respectful of your host’s budget if you’re asked for any special requests, and stay within your limit if you’re asked to provide a guest list.
Whenever you’re feted, it’s traditional to thank your hosts with flowers or some other gift either the day of or the day after the party. And of course, your hosts should get a handwritten note from you as well, as should anyone who gave you a gift.
Chapter Thirteen
Celebrate! Holiday Parties
Starting with Thanksgiving and lasting through New Year’s, the holiday season is a whirl of celebrations—Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa. This is the time of year when entertaining is at its most fabulous and frenetic. It’s a blizzard of celebratory elements: holiday traditions, glittering decor, traditional holiday foods, and the coming together of family and old friends. Communities celebrate with tree or menorah-lighting ceremonies, carol sings, and potluck dinners, and most businesses host an annual party. This is the time of year when we want to connect with everyone. We send cards, letters, and photos to those far away, and even greet strangers with “Happy holidays!” A holiday party is a special gift to friends—a chance for everyone to eat, drink, and be merry at this most joyous of seasons.
Start Early!
The spirit of the season is infectious, and calendars fill up fast during holiday time. For your party to make it on this year’s calendar, start planning early: Believe it or not, mid-October is not too early to book vendors or locations. You’ll want to be sure that any hired help—caterer, servers, a bartender—is lined up before you send invitations. Mail holiday invitations up to six weeks ahead of time, (that’s two weeks earlier than the norm) especially for a party on a Friday or Saturday evening in December. If you’re inviting relatives to stay during the holidays, extend your invitation as far in advance as possible so they can make travel arrangements.
We may laugh seeing commercial holiday decorations appear before Thanksgiving, but it’s a good reminder to have your house cleaned and decorated a good week before your party. Putting up seasonal decorations can be a big job, and you don’t want to leave it to the last minute. Besides, it’ll put you in the holiday spirit, which will make the rest of your party prep much more fun.
While Christmas is a focus for many, it’s only one aspect of the holidays. It’s just as easy to be festive without a Christmas tree, wreaths, and everything red and green. Capture the spirit of the season with lights, generosity, family, community, peace, and goodwill. Add touches of blue and silver for Hanukkah or feature red, green, and black for Kwanzaa. White, gold, and silver are great holiday colors in general. To celebrate winter, decorate your space with masses of candles and showcase white flowers, either in arrangements or pots of forced bulbs, like amaryllis and narcissus. (You can grow these yourself, but you’ll need to start the bulbs five to eight weeks ahead. Purchase bulb kits or ask a florist for directions.)
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Let It Glow
Even if you keep your decorations simple, bumping up the lighting will instantly create a warm, festive atmosphere during dark December days.
* Light candles on mantels, dining tables, and sideboards.
* Light your Christmas tree, even if it’s not decorated yet. (If you’re having a big Christmas party, you’ll want to display a decorated tree. For a simpler event, just the lights will provide atmosphere if you don’t have time to hang ornaments.)
* Wrap garlands (faux or real) with strings of little lights. Drape over window and door frames or wrap a bani
ster.
* Put battery- or solar-powered candles in windows.
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fa-la-la-la-la—la-la-la-la
There’s enough holiday music out there to suit everyone’s style: Traditional, chill, soul, hip-hop, jazz, Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole...what’s your style? What will your guests enjoy? Most likely it’s a mix of styles, so put your CD player on random or create your own mix. Label it “Holiday 20___” and start a tradition—a new mix each year.
The Scent of the Season
We don’t mean spraying your house with “Eau de Noel.” Your tree may do the trick, but adding fresh greens around the house—tucked behind pictures and mirrors or added to flower arrangements—lends another subtle layer to the holiday atmosphere. No access to holiday spruce? Find candles with a hint of northern forest or spiced berries. Simmer mulled cider or wine on the stove...you can even cheat and boil spices such as cinnamon sticks and cloves in water for a steam potpourri.
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Holiday Party Checklist:
Hire professional or nonprofessional help.
Extend invitations up to six weeks ahead.
Put in orders for flowers and greens.
Put up seasonal decorations (inside or outside).
Trim your Christmas tree with lights—and ornaments if you’re having a gala event.
(Check water daily.)
Polish, polish, polish. (You want your home to really sparkle!)
Check outdoor lighting. Does your home look inviting?
If you live in the snowbelt, make sure your entryway is cleared of ice, snow, and slush.
