I hear the buzzing again and remember why I woke up in the first place. I search around the room, looking for the culprit that woke me from my peaceful sleep. I finally narrow it down to my purse and realize it's my phone vibrating. Before I reach it the buzzing stops, just to start up again a few seconds later. I grasp it in my hand and tap the answer icon on my smart phone.
"Hello," my voice comes out groggily.
"Where the hell are you two? Jared is ruining his career every time he doesn't show up to a shoot!" Kelly's yelling and I have to pull the phone a few inches from my ear to save my eardrums. "You better get him to his shoot today because he can't afford to miss this one."
"Kelly, I don't know where he is."
"What do you mean you don’t know where he is? The one text he so graciously sent me, after my hundreds of texts to him, said he was at some festival with you."
I take a deep breath; I'm not prepared for the wrath of Kelly this early in the morning. "Honest, Kelly. I just woke up and he's not here. I don't know where he is."
"Well, you better find him and get him here within the hour. The address is...," Kelly proceeds to give me the address of a studio outside of Los Angeles. Today Jared is shooting for the largest online distributor of porn.
"Alright, if I find him I'll get him there. I promise, Kelly," as I say the last word I hear the front door of the hotel room open. I look over to the entryway to make sure it's Jared and it is.
"He just walked in, Kelly. We'll see you soon." I hang up before she can yell at me some more and toss my cellphone on the bed. I look back over to Jared and he's showered and dressed in yesterday's clothing. Even in dirty clothes he looks like a sex god. He has a paper bag in one hand and is holding a drink holder with two coffees in the other.
"I brought us breakfast," he says cheerfully. He places the paper bag and coffee on the small table that the hotel room has provided. He looks over at me and a grin spreads over his cheeks. He looks me up and down, approvingly. It's then that I realize I’m still naked and standing in front of him. He walks over to me slowly and places a delicate kiss on my forehead.
"Last night was-"
"We've got to go."
We both speak at the same time, but my words stand out.
"Why are you in a rush?" His hand comes up to gently stroke the long locks of hair that have fallen across my face. He pushes my hair behind my ears, and his touch starts to stir back last night’s feelings for him.
"Kelly says you need to be at the studio in an hour. I figure it will take us that long to get there, so we need to leave now."
"I'm not shooting today."
"Jared, you have to. You've missed so much already. Kelly says this could be the end of your career if you keep missing your shoots, and she threatened to fire me-"
"First of all," he says glaring at me, looking angry. "Kelly doesn't have the power to fire you, only I do. Second, my career will be just fine if I miss today's shoot."
"Jared, you can’t keep missing work. This is important."
"You want me to work? After everything that happened last night between us you actually want me to continue doing porn?"
I don't know what he wants me to say. He has always made his feelings clear in the past. I almost feel insulted that he thinks I would turn last night into more than it was.
I pull away from him and start to search the room for my clothes. I find my panties and shorts first and slip them on. My bra is the next item of clothing I find.
"I'm under no misunderstanding about what last night was. You don't want a relationship, you've made that very clear." I clasp my bra in the back and pull the straps over my shoulders before adjusting my breasts in the cups. "You were having a hard time after running into your would be brother-in-law, and you needed to be comforted. I'm your best friend, so I comforted you in the way you needed. It was great... the best, but that's all it was. You get to go back to being Brandon Boner and I'll go back to being your assistant, and we can put this behind us. I don't want this to ruin our friendship."
I slip my tank top on but I toss the see-through blouse in the trash. The damage Jared caused when he ripped it off me last night can't be fixed.
Jared's quiet, way too quiet, and when I look over at him he's staring at me. His brooding glare almost makes me want to go to the farthest end of the room so I can be away from his piercing eyes.
"Is that what you want?" He asks gruffly.
I feel like it’s a trick question. It's not what I want, but if I tell him that, I'll be in my car on my way back to Michigan by the end of the night.
"Yes, silly. I know how it is; you don't have to worry about hurting my fragile feelings. I understand."
"Obviously, you don't," he mumbles under his breath, dragging his hand through the long locks of his fohawk.
"Come again?" I'm not sure if I heard him right.
"Nothing, let's go. I don't want to be late to today's shoot." He moves and grabs the coffee and paper bag off the table. "We'll eat the bagels in the car."
I follow behind him, sweeping the hotel room with my eyes to make sure we aren't leaving anything behind. We take the elevator downstairs to the lobby and I watch as Jared checks us out of the hotel.
When we get into his car it's awkward. Jared hasn't said a word to me since we walked out of the hotel room, and I don't know what is considered proper morning conversation after a one-night stand. Not that I would call what happened a one-night stand.
What would I call it?
I stick my hand in the paper bag and grab a chocolate chip bagel, my favorite. I take a bite and the chocolate mixed with bread is delicious and exactly what I need this morning.
"Thank you," I smile over at him. He glances at me, but then his eyes focus back on the road.
"No need to thank me. I've been pleasuring women like you for years, I know what to do to get you off," he says coldly.
I gasp in shock from his words. I can't believe he said that to me. "I meant for the breakfast," is the only words I can manage to get out.
"No need to thank me for that either. I was hungry and it would have been rude to eat in front of you and not give you any food."
"Did I do something? Are you mad at me?" I can't understand why he's being so cold and malicious to me this morning.
"Nope, I'm just ready to forget last night and move forward."
His words sting and I can feel the tears start to form. I do my best to keep them at bay, and I turn towards where my window would be if I weren't in a convertible. I don’t want him to see how much his words hurt me.
The rest of the ride is completely silent aside from the passing cars and the wind. Jared doesn't turn on the music and I have no desire to say anything to him. When we pull up to the studio, Jared doesn't park the car; he just puts it in park, opens his door, and gets out of the driver's seat.
"You can take this back to the house and have the rest of the day off." It's the first words he's said to me in almost an hour.
"You don’t want me on set?"
"Kelly will be here if I need anything. I don't want it to be awkward for you to watch me having sex with multiple women hours after you and I slept together."
His words hit me like a ton of bricks; almost as if I'm just realizing what he's here at the studio for. It's silly, I know. His tone almost hurts more, he speaking to me as if he can barely tolerate my presence.
"Okay... are you sure there's nothing I can do for you?"
He looks at me and I can't tell what he's thinking or feeling. An almost evil grin comes over his face and he walks over to my side of the vehicle, leaning over so we are face to face. "There's nothing more I need you to do, babe. You did your job last night and I was thoroughly satisfied." His words come out viciously, yet I can see the hurt in his eyes as he says them. That doesn't stop me from reaching out and slapping him across the face.
"Don’t you ever speak to me as if I'm some whore! I'm your friend, Jared, or did you forget?"
&nbs
p; "Oh, trust me, you make it almost impossible for me to forget that fact."
He turns and walks off to the studio while I try to simmer my feelings before I go on a homicidal rampage and there are dead porn stars everywhere, starting with Jared.
After I've finished calming myself down, I move over to the driver seat and peel out of the parking lot. I push my foot down on the gas; I can't get out of here fast enough. The nerve of him thinking he can just say things like that to me, like I’m some cheap prostitute that gave him pleasure for the night.
I make it back to his place in record time, but I have no idea what I’m going to do with myself for the rest of the day. Yesterday was amazing. We had so much fun at the festival and last night was just... heavenly. Despite his harsh words to me this morning, I wouldn't change anything that happened between us yesterday.
I decide to shower and wash any remains of last night off me, including the paint all over my chest. When I finish I get dressed, go grocery shopping, and organize his office. I make sure not to give myself any time to think over everything from this morning, it will only hurt and my homicidal feelings will come back.
When I finish with everything, I know I have very little time until Jared gets home, so I grab my purse and leave him a quick note.
Jared,
Groceries are put away and your office is organized. I don't know what I did to make you treat me like such an invalid this morning, but I have never had anyone make me feel so cheap in my life. I'm sorry you feel that way about me. I'll start looking for a new place and job tomorrow and I'll be sure not to come back to the house until I know you are asleep.
xoxo The whore from last night
I know the way I signed the letter will piss him off, but I don't care. That's exactly how he made me feel this morning, like a whore. I lock up the front door and hop in my car. I don't know where I plan on going for the rest of the day, but I know that I can't stay here where I am obviously unwanted.
★★★
When I pull back into Jared's driveway late that night, the house seems eerily quiet on the outside. The driveway is lit up from the beautiful lights in the landscaping and the light outside the front door is on. I can only hope he hasn’t had time to change the locks on me.
I turn off my car; I'll move it to the garage in the morning. I'm so exhausted from the little sleep I got last night and the day I've had today. I ended up driving to the beach this afternoon and walking up and down the coast. When it got dark I sat in the sand and listened to the waves.
I feel like I've been making mistake after mistake and I don’t know how to fix it. Brock was a mistake, an eight-year mistake. Coming to California was probably a mistake, falling for Jared was definitely a mistake, and sleeping with Jared was a monumental fuck up. I ruined a friendship, a friendship that means everything to me.
I make my way into the house and am immediately pulled into the darkness. I'm intoxicated by the smell of mint and cigarettes. Jared holds me in a warm embrace.
"I'm so sorry. My actions earlier were inexcusable and I'm so sorry, Autumn."
I collapse into his hold, the emotions of the day taking over, and the next thing I know I'm sobbing into his shoulder. Big, fat, ugly, uncontrollable tears. I'm inconsolable and I don’t even know why.
Jared holds me, whispering words of apology in my ear.
"Babe, I promise to never act like such a dick again. I was just having a hard time and I took it out on you." He kisses the top of my head and it's comforting just like it always is.
"I had some feelings I had to deal with, but I promise you," he moves his hands to the sides of my head, raising my head so my eyes are on him. "I promise I never wanted to make you feel like a whore. In the moment I was angry, and I wanted to hurt you, but I never imagined how hurting you would make me feel. I was a wreck all day. Kelly is probably ready to quit working for me."
I chuckle and lift my hands to wipe my tear stained cheeks.
"I didn't think you'd be up," I smile softly, my voice barely above a whisper.
"I couldn't sleep, not with the way we left it."
"I'm sorry."
"No," he says sternly. "You have nothing to be sorry about. You did nothing wrong. All you did is repeat everything I've already told you a million times before, I'm the only one who should be apologizing. I acted like an asshole. You're the most important person in my life right now, which should be weird because we haven’t known each other very long, but it's not weird. I need you, but instead I pushed you away and I promise to make up for it."
"You're the most important person in my life right now, too."
He kisses the top of my head again and then slowly releases me from his embrace.
"Let's go to bed." He reaches for my hand and starts to pull me towards the stairwell.
"Jared?"
"Yeah, babe?"
I can feel a lump forming in my throat at what I'm about to ask. I don't want to know the answer yet the sick side of me is dying to know. "Did everything go okay on set today? Were you able to work and get Kelly off your back?"
He continues to move forward and we walk up the staircase to the second floor.
"I don't want to talk about work, or Kelly. I just want to go to bed and have you in my arms. I want to know we're okay."
That wasn't an answer, but in this moment I need exactly what he's proposing. We go to his room and prepare for bed in silence. I put on his t-shirt and a pair of his boxers, while he's in the bathroom brushing his teeth and stripping down to just his boxer briefs.
I crawl under the covers and Jared follows, after turning off the bedroom light.
"Turn on your side," Jared gently commands. I do as he says and my back is facing him. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into him, spooning me from behind.
"Goodnight, my precious Billy." His words bring back the smile to my face and I close my eyes, completely content. All the worries of today have been washed away because I'm in his arms. All is right with the world.
Chapter Eleven
"I'm sorry, sir, you'll have to call the eight hundred number at the bottom of the screen... because they're the ones who deal with your subscription... Listen, I'm trying to be nice, but I guarantee this number is not listed as the number to call if you are having an issue with your subscription... because it's unlisted." I hang up the phone and then unplug the phone line from the receiver.
"Having trouble there?"
I turn around at the sound of Jared's voice. He's standing in the doorway of his office in a pair of light denim jeans, a white t-shirt, and his black chucks. He's always wearing those black chucks.
He walks over to the chair on the other side of the desk from me. He sits down and lifts his foot to rest it on his knee.
"I'm sorry I lost my temper, I just don't know how he got this number. That was the fourth call from him in the last ten minutes and I just had to hang up."
"You call that losing your temper? Shit, I'd have hung up on him the first time. My number's unlisted and the prick knows it."
I smile his way, happy with the start of our conversation. The last week has been... weird. I don't know what I expected. I guess after the night I got home and he apologized, I thought things would go back to the way they were. They have in some ways, but in other ways it's so different.
Jared and I still sleep in his bed every night, although I'm not sure why. He makes sure not to touch me. There's no hand holding or snuggling. He stays on his side of the bed and I stay on mine. The mornings are relatively the same. We both get up and have our morning coffee together, but then he leaves for the set and has a to do list for me. He’s made it very clear he does not want me joining him on set anymore.
I run his errands and help Kelly with the business side of things. She told me it was such a relief to be able to give me things because she is dealing with so much involving Jared at the moment. When I asked her to elaborate she said she couldn't.
I wish I could help with that som
ehow. I get the feeling Jared isn't doing so hot at work, and I can't help but think it has something to do with me. The one and only time I tried to dig some information out of Kelly, Jared walked in and told Kelly that what happens at work is between just them, and it none of my business.
That made me feel like crap, but in those moments I have to remember he's my boss and I need to abide and respect what he says. It's the personal moments that piss me off the most.
We'll be watching a movie, or be out at dinner and he treats me like a casual acquaintance. There's no more silly Jared, no more flirty Jared. So when I get those moments where he lets his guard down a little, I soak it in, missing my friend.
"Well, I wish you would have answered the phone, you could have put him in his place."
"If he calls again, give me the phone. I'll make sure it doesn't happen again. The man wants free porn and he thought he could call me personally to get it. Well, if the bastard wants free porn he should watch some of the free amateur shit that's all over the internet, I'm a fucking professional," he chuckles the last part and I can’t help but laugh with him.
"So, what's on the agenda today?" Oh, so him visiting me in his office is work related.
"Um, you have to be at your cameraman's house at one. You're shooting today in his basement's man cave. He said something about three naked women and strategically working a pool stick." When the man told me this in his email yesterday, I tried to ignore the images that came to my mind. Anything my imagination showed me had me holding my vagina in pain.
Jared doesn't look too interested in this information as I catch his eyes staring at the top of my cleavage.
"Jared," I snap my fingers to get his attention. "Did you hear me?"
"Yeah, one pool table, three chicks... what's with the outfit?"
I look down at my business casual attire. Kelly came in one afternoon that Jared was busy in business meetings, and took me shopping. I guess if business acquaintances of Jared's were to ever come by the house, I couldn't be walking around in yoga pants and tank tops.
Changing His Game Page 13
