But I pray there’s a lot more of that amazing thing he and I seem to have.
The night air falls cool against my face as I drive my bike back to Sturgis. It’s only about nine, I think. Maybe I should take a cruise through town and see if I can find his bike. Maybe surprise him.
But that might surprise me more. Nah, I better not do that. If I saw him with someone else, I don’t know what I’d do.
It wouldn’t be cool to have a hissy fit after one night of crazy hot passion. And I was the one who ran off so I couldn’t blame him if he was with another woman. But I think I’d have a hard time not throwing a punch or three at them both.
No, it’s best not to find him at a bar. Which I’m sure he’s at. The gang most likely wouldn’t let him sit alone in his motel room and sulk about some woman.
But what if he’s just sitting alone in his little motel room? Lonely, sad, depressed?
I could show up and make his night. That would be awesome.
I could drop off Cuddles at home and go see if I can find his bike parked in front of one of the motel rooms.
Oh God! I sound like a stalker!
The original plan of just going to work tomorrow and letting him see my bike there is a good one. A safe one. One where I don’t make a freaking fool out of myself.
The whole thing is my fault, anyway. I could’ve left him my cell number and maybe we could’ve talked some. But I had to go all paranoid and run off so quickly I even forgot my toothbrush and had to stop and get a new one before I left town.
And then another thought zips through my head that he might just be waiting for me at my house. Which would normally be a thing that would piss me off but now I’d love to find his bike inside my little, white, picket fence.
That would be awesome!
I could go inside and just hug him and tell him I’m sorry and we’d make love and I could spend the night wrapped up in his strong arms.
That feeling was the best thing I’ve ever felt. It took everything in me to move my body out of his warm embrace that early morning before the sun came up.
When I looked back and saw him sleeping so peacefully, I almost climbed right back into bed. But my damn insecurities stopped me and had me running away like an idiot.
I can’t think of another woman who’d be so stupid as I was when I left him there. Alone, in my bed.
What did he think when he woke up and found me gone?
I wonder if he was mad, sad, or relieved. Maybe a bit of all three.
Surely, he realizes now that I’m very damaged. He probably knows he dodged a bullet and left there with a smile on his face.
The headlight hits the white of my little house and my heart starts really banging hard in my chest. If he’s there, it’ll be great and if he’s not, then tomorrow will have to suffice.
As I pull up, I see no other vehicle here. So he didn’t wait for two days for me to show back up. It kind of hurts that he went on. But what did I expect him to do?
Letting Cuddles out of the doggy carrier on my back, I watch her run around the yard, sniffing like crazy. It’s almost as if she’s looking for something. I wonder if it’s him she’s sniffing around for.
The two certainly hit it off like she’s never done with anyone else. I wonder if she’s sad he isn’t here too.
I walk my bike into the yard and park it by the porch. Then I go up the three steps and find the note I taped to the door, asking him to lock it behind him, is still there.
Unlocking the door, I still have vague hope he’s inside the house. But all I see is darkness. Of course, he’s not here.
After I switch on the light, I look around and find the note I left him on the table and walk over to grab it and toss it in the trash can. But I see he’s written on the bottom of it and he left his phone number.
My whole body tenses as I see he’s demanding I call and wrote the words, ‘I love you’ on the note.
So it wasn’t just pretending to him!
I have fought myself the last couple of days about how real it all was. I did ask him to pretend after all.
And with these words, I see it was real for him too. But is it still going to be real since I’ve waited two nights to come back?
Have I waited too long? Has he found other women to fill his nights? Can I take it if he has?
Slowly, I take my phone out of my pocket and look at the number a long time. There’s a lot of exclamation points on the note. It does look like he really wants me to call him.
So I press in the number and wait to see what happens.
One ring, two rings, three rings…
Shit, he’s not going to answer me!
“Hello,” I hear his gravelly, sexy voice say.
“Hey, Benny.”
He sighs. “Angel.” His voice is so quiet and the sound of all the noise fades away as he must be walking out of the bar he’s definitely at. “You’re back.”
“I am. It sounds like you’re at a bar,” I say as I go and plop down on the sofa thinking he’s having a good time and might as well stay there.
“Yeah, my friends are here. But I’ll leave right now and come to you.”
“No! No, Blaze. You stay there. Do whatever it was you were doing. I don’t want you to leave your fun time to come here. That would be stupid.”
“I want to be with you, Angel. I’ve missed you more than I thought humanly possible. Didn’t you miss me at all?” he asks with a certain amount of sadness in his voice.
Should I tell him I did miss him like crazy and could only think about him these last two days?
“Blaze, we barely know each other. How could you miss me?”
“How can you say we barely knew each other? I think we got to know one another pretty damn well. So you’re saying you didn’t miss me at all, Angel?”
I hesitate then say, “I don’t know, Blaze.”
“Stop calling me that. I know what you’re doing when you call me Blaze. You’re not allowing yourself to like me. Or love me.”
“Love is a bit fast, don’t you think? I mean, you’re going to have to leave soon, anyway. Why bring love into this thing we have? Whatever it is,” I say and run my hand through my hair in frustration.
“I am coming over,” he says with an air of authority. “We can talk all about this in person. Face to face. While we hold each other, skin to skin.”
“No.”
“No? Then why did you call me, Angel?”
“Your note was very demanding. I suppose I thought you might want to know I was alive and made it home. I didn’t call you to drag you out of a bar where you were probably having a great time with random bimbos and make you come and talk to me about what this is we have or don’t have.” I get up and go to see what kind of alcohol I have in the fridge as my nerves are bristling.
“I was not messing around with anyone. I haven’t touched a girl since you. Not once. Not at all. I’ve waited for you. I wanted to. I want you to know I think you're special, Angel. My Angel. I’m coming over,” he says with a slight whisper in the last words.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. It’s late,” I say when I find no alcohol to numb me. “I’m going to bed.”
“Stop,” he says with aggravation in his voice. “Just stop this. I’m going to come and see you. If you want me to leave after I take you in my arms and kiss you one time, then I’ll leave. But you have to let me kiss you and hold you. I’ve ached to do that for what seems like forever.”
“Have you really?” I ask as I walk toward my bedroom, peeling my clothes off as I go. His reminder of holding me and kissing me has my body heating up quickly.
“I have. I’ve barely slept and when I did manage to sleep, it was restless with dreams of you and I making love in your cute little pink and black bedroom. My God, how I’ve missed you, Baby. Please just…”
“Tomorrow, Benny. I promise tomorrow.”
“Angel, how could you not miss me?” he asks and I don’t know what to tell him because I did miss him.
“Benny, it’s just that this is intense. I need time to understand this. It’s enough for me to know that you still want to see me. I’ve struggled between thinking it was all a pretend game and something real. So now I know it’s real.” I lie down on my bed, naked now and climb under my blanket as Cuddle's hurdles herself onto the bed, taking her position at the foot of the bed to guard me through the night.
“Okay, since you know what we have is real, then why not let me come over and at the very least hold you for a while? I need to see you, baby. I need to smell you and taste you. I need you, Angel. This is a thing I’ve never done before. I feel as if I’m pleading with you and this isn’t me at all. This is the me I am with you.”
“Am I making you weak?” I ask as I find myself biting at my fingernail then stop as that was a thing I did when what’s-his-ass left me. I chewed all of my fingernails off and it took me some time to stop doing that.
“Not weak. It’s not weak to know you love someone and know you need to be around them. That’s not weakness, Angel. That’s being human. I’m coming over. I need you and need to be with you.”
His words are getting quieter and I know this is wearing him down. “You sound tired, Benny.”
“I am. I’m so tired. You have no idea.”
“Then rest. I’m tired too. I haven’t slept well either. Tomorrow I’ll see you. If you want to that is.” I close my eyes and wait to hear what he says.
“No, I don’t want to see you tomorrow.”
I open my eyes and try to understand what that means. Then I hear giggling in the background and a woman’s voice says, “Blaze, are you coming back inside?”
“Not messing around with any women, huh? Go back inside, Blaze! And don’t even worry about tomorrow. I don’t want to see you. Goodbye!” I end the call.
Tears burn my eyes but I don’t let them fall. He calls me right back and I send it to voicemail.
I knew he was too good to be true. I knew it!
The liar. Lucky for me that chick got tired of waiting for him to go back inside and came out to get him or I’d have never known what he was really doing.
Prick! Making me believe he’s been waiting for me all this time!
And for a few minutes there, I was believing his lying ass. I should’ve known better. I should’ve never even called him.
What I should’ve done was go find him, see him in action and leave without saying a word to him.
At least then my heart and head would agree that love sucks and ends up leaving you hurt.
The phone rings again as he tries to call me back. I send it on again and then turn my phone off.
It’s obvious he won’t quit.
The thing I don’t understand is why me? If he can get any chick he wants, then why does he need to step into my life and give me more pain than I’ve already been dealt?
I roll on my side and yank the blanket up tightly around me. Tears flow over my cheek even though I tried hard to stop them.
Fine, I’ll allow myself to cry a little over the ass wipe. But only a little because I knew this was going to happen, and I allowed it, anyway.
Fuck! I invited it.
He wasn’t trying to get me into bed that night. He was being a gentleman.
It was me who suggested he take most of his clothes off and lie with me on the sofa. I knew what I was doing when I said it.
And it was me who asked him to come to my bedroom. Then I went so far as to ask him to tell me he loved me and would never leave me.
All me!
So I am an idiot. Okay, now that I completely realize that about myself I can begin to move forward. Good riddance to bad rubbish. I’m moving on.
BLAZE
Poor Phoenix is beating herself up for interrupting my phone call and making Angel hang up on me when she thought it was some chick I’d been hanging out with at the bar.
I promised I’d bring Angel around tomorrow so she could back up my explanation that Phoenix was only looking out for me. She wanted to make sure some woman wasn’t trying to hit on me while I was outside.
But Angel jumped to conclusions and hung up on me and turned her damn phone off. So I’m on my way over there now to talk or rather, kiss, some sense into her stubborn, insecure ass.
I thought the conversation was going pretty well up until that moment. Even though she kept telling me, no, to coming over. But my plan is to bang on the door until she has no choice but to open up or call the cops on me.
I’m a little worried she might take off again so I’m hurrying to get to her house on the outskirts of Sturgis. My headlight reflects off her white picket fence and I also see the reflection of her bike near the front porch.
Even though the house is all dark, I bet she’s home. I turn the engine off and coast in so she doesn’t hear me and barricade herself inside.
I park the bike and go up the sidewalk, being careful to be quiet so the dog doesn’t bark and alert her. And suddenly I realize that I have a lot of stalker tendencies.
Oh well! When in love…
Slowly I go up the stairs trying hard not to let the steps creak. I twist the handle to see if by some miracle it’s unlocked and find it is.
“Fuck!” Doesn’t she know enough to lock her damn door?
I lock the door behind me then sit on the sofa and take off my boots and everything but my underwear and head back to her bedroom.
As I push the door open, I hear a low growl from her dog. “Hey, Cuddles,” I whisper and she gets up, wagging her tail and jumps into my arms with lots of puppy kisses.
Aww, she missed me!
I’m putting her outside in the back yard so she won’t bark when I shut her out of the bedroom because she thinks the bed is hers too and I don’t need any company for my reunion with her mommy.
I grab her a handful of doggy treats that are in a cookie jar in the kitchen and place her little panting, happy ass out the back door. She wags her tail at me as I close the door.
In the living room, I ditch my underwear leaving them with the rest of my clothes and go stealthily back into her bedroom. Her tiny snores are still going and she has no idea there’s been anyone in her house much less her bedroom.
I’m so jumping her ass about leaving that damn door unlocked but that can wait until tomorrow.
Sliding under the blanket, I can feel her warm body as I face her. She’s lying on her side and her long dark hair is covering her beautiful face.
She might try to hit me when she wakes up, so I gently run my hand down her arm to hold it down, if need be. Her body shivers with my touch and mine has little shots of electricity shooting around in it.
I can’t stand not to do it, so I press my lips to hers. A little moaning sound comes out of her and she scoots in close to me. Instead of hitting me, she moves her hand up my arm and over my shoulder and all the way to the back of my neck where she pulls me in to kiss her harder.
Her lips part and I run my tongue into her mouth. My cock is growing by leaps and bounds as she kisses me. The sweetness of her breath is a thing I missed more than air itself.
She throws a leg over me as I run my hands over her naked body. Seems she was most likely getting in bed and getting ready to let me come over. Until she went crazy, that is.
Her soft breasts press against my chest, then her head pulls back a little, and she ends the kiss. Those deep blue eyes are open and looking at me when I open mine.
Her voice is soft and raspy as she says, “I missed you, Benny.”
“I missed you. I hope you’re not mad I came in anyway. And you left the damn door unlocked, making it easy. I plan on explaining that woman to you, but it can wait until tomorrow.” I pull her back to me and kiss her neck as she makes a little purring sound.
“I’m sorry,” she whispers.
Now it’s me who has to pull back and look at her. “You’re sorry. I bet you don’t say that often.”
She shakes her head a bit. “Not often enough. But I am sorry and I wa
nt to be different with you.”
Leaving a soft kiss on her cheek, I say, “I want to be different with you too. I’m not the same man when I’m with you. I think the world is made up of rainbows and butterflies when I have you in my arms.”
She giggles and bats her thick dark eyelashes at me. “You silly boy.”
“I am silly over you, my Angel.” I kiss her throat all the way down, over her collar bone and make her groan as I take her plump breast into my mouth.
“Damn it, Benny!”
I nip her tit then suck it hard. Popping it out of my mouth, I look back at her as her hands run all through my hair. “Don’t ever run off again.”
She shakes her head. “Never again.”
“Where are the keys to that set of cuffs you have hooked to your headboard?”
Her eyes go wide and she gestures with a nod toward her nightstand. I pin her body to the bed with mine as I lean over her and open the drawer to make sure they’re there and see the little set of keys.
Moving my body over hers, I take her right wrist and place it in the loose cuff, the other already around the bedpost. The click makes her moan and I run my fingers down her body and then inside her, and find her wet and ready.
“You won’t be running off from me again. If I have to chain your sweet ass up every night, I will do it, you tenacious woman,” I say as I kiss my way down her hot body.
She arches up as my hands run down her waist and my tongue runs over her stomach. “Yes, Sir.”
I stop and look up at her and give her a wink.
“I like Master Blaze when I administer punishments.”
“Oh yes, punish me, Master Blaze. Show me who I belong to,” she hisses out as she writhes beneath me.
My fingernails make red streaks as I rake them down her sides. The sound she makes has my dick hard as a rock but I must torture the shit out of her before she gets to feel my liquid heat fill her.
She does have to be punished after all.
With a firm grip, I take her ass in my hands and pull her up to me. For almost a minute, I only breathe out hot breaths on her very hot and wanting pussy.
She knows enough not to ask for more. That tells me that she is practiced and knows how to obey and take what she has coming. Only she’s never been punished by me, so I expect to hear her begging for my mercy before I let her have what she will be craving when I’m through with her.
Dirty Money Page 71
