She nodded. “Okay.” But that kiss of his wasn’t something she’d soon forget. She could still feel his mouth on hers. The heat of it. The press of it. How hungry for more he’d been.
He shifted into drive, but hesitated before turning onto the street. “I don’t know what Alonso did to you, but if he’s still alive, he’d better hope our paths never cross.”
Desi’s kiss had brought life to Julian. Not the living, breathing kind of life he’d said goodbye to nearly four hundred years ago, but the kind that reminded him why humans spent their years chasing love with every fiber of their being. She’d set him on fire with longing. His bones ached with it.
His need for her had surpassed simple wanting. He’d become sick with it. The ache in his heart felt like a gaping hole.
One that would never be filled.
And yet somehow, he was going to have to hold himself together while she lived under his roof until it was safe for her to go back to Vegas.
He pulled into the parking lot of the Excelsior and paused in front of the lobby doors. “I’m sorry to drop you here, but I just remembered I was supposed to see my brother today and I didn’t. If I don’t go see him now, it’ll just make things worse. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Her surprise registered for a moment, but quickly vanished. If that was because she understood what he was really saying was that he needed some time away from her, he was okay with that.
It was the truth, after all.
She nodded and got out. “See you later.”
He watched her through the lobby’s windows, waiting until she was in the elevator before he pulled away. He couldn’t go to his brother’s. Well, he could, but he couldn’t bear Sebastian knowing how badly he’d screwed up his life. Sebastian already thought Julian’s life was in serious need of help.
But he wished he could. If anyone understood unrequited love, it was Sebastian. He’d spent years pining for his ex-wife, who’d basically used him for his wallet, and all because of a long-ago promise to her dying father.
Now Sebastian was happily engaged to Tessa, a most amazing woman, and not just because she had the uncanny ability to make the grump of the family smile. (It was worth mentioning that, because of her, Sebastian also had a cat named Duncan living in his house. Something that basically counted as a miracle.) No, the chances he’d want to give Julian any advice besides move on were slim. There was no point in bothering him. He was probably asleep anyway, having adopted Tessa’s more typical hours.
So Julian drove without any real destination in mind, his thoughts going round and round the problem of Desdemona, and his heart aching with the knowledge that she was never going to be his.
Somehow, he ended up at the lake. Maybe because of their conversation about the movie theater. He parked, got out and sat on the hood of his car. Probably a sacrilegious thing to do to a Maserati, but a car was just a thing, and things could be replaced.
He lay back and stared up at the stars.
His problem was that she refused to love him back because of whatever Alonso had done to her. That meant his real problem was Alonso. Without knowing what had happened between them, that problem was impossible to fix.
His phone vibrated. He thought about ignoring it, but only for a second. He checked the screen. Remy.
He answered. “Monsieur Lafitte. You have perfect timing.”
“I take it that means you’re not too busy to talk?”
“I can absolutely talk. Do you have something to tell me?”
“I do. If you want to hear it.”
“Is it about Alonso?”
“It is. I talked to my grandfather—”
“Hang on a second. As much as I want to know what happened to Desi, this is clearly a deeply personal issue for her. It’s her story to tell. You get my drift?”
“I do. I could tell you what happened to Alonso.”
“That would be fine. I’d like to know. And I think Desi would too.”
“After cutting ties with Mora, my grandfather found out that the man had been stealing from him too. He tracked him down in Barbados a year later and ran a stake through him. He said it was more for Mary—I mean, Desdemona—than for the stealing. That he couldn’t live with himself without avenging her death.”
“But Desdemona didn’t die.”
Remy laughed. “I told him that. He was pleased to hear it. But still felt he did the right thing.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it.”
“Anytime.” Remy hung up.
Julian put his phone away. Alonso was dead. He’d have to find the right instant to tell Desi, a moment when she could process the information with whatever time she needed, but the knowledge that this man was never going to be an issue for her again ought to give Desi some closure on whatever had happened to her. He wondered if she’d ever tell him what that thing was. Would she eventually feel ready enough to share it? He hoped so.
Just like he hoped it happened sooner rather than later, because at some point, he imagined his new problem would be the emotional toll of loving Desi without her loving him back. The consequences of that worried him. He really didn’t want to have his heart harden the way hers had.
Then a realization came to him. There was a way to prevent his complete destruction. But it would require a great deal of effort on his part. Not to mention some pain.
Could he manage it? Maybe. But if he didn’t at least try, he’d be shattered by this.
Really, he had no other choice.
The delicious aroma of coffee awakened Desi. She opened her eyes. The sun was still up, but twilight was close. She could feel it. And they’d be leaving soon for dinner at Julian’s grandmother’s.
Julian.
He’d dropped her off last night, driven away, and when she’d gone to bed, unable to resist the pull of sleep any longer, he still hadn’t returned.
She tossed the covers back and swung her feet to the floor. If there was coffee, he must have made it. She chewed on the inside of her cheek. Was that a good sign? He wouldn’t have made coffee for them if he was in a bad mood. Of course, that assumed the coffee was for both of them and not just for him. Hmm. That would certainly determine where his mental state was at.
She drew on her short robe, untied the silk scarf from her hair and ran her fingers through her curls to loosen them. A quick glance in the mirror to check that she hadn’t woken up on the hideous side of the bed, and she padded out to the kitchen.
Julian was there, his back to her, wearing nothing but silk pajama pants that hung low on his hips. The sight was enough to make her throat tighten in hunger. He was lean and hard (as she’d found out for herself last night). The muscles in his shoulders and back danced as he moved.
The man was beautiful in every way.
“Evening.” She tried for a light tone, testing to see if he’d even respond.
He spun around, a big smile on his face that brought her instant relief. “Hello, beautiful. How’d you sleep?”
“Great.” He was saying all the right things, but there was tension in the air between them. She could feel it.
“Coffee?” He held up the carafe. “We’re due to my grandmother’s in about an hour. I hope that’s enough time for you to get ready.”
“Coffee would be great, then I’ll put it into high gear.” She took a seat on one of the sleek counter stools as he turned to get a cup. There was no point in pretending what had happened…hadn’t. So she dove in. “About last night…I wanted to say again that I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too.” He slid a mug and spoon toward her, then added a sugar bowl and a short pitcher of cream. “I shouldn’t have just dumped you here and taken off. You threw me.”
“You don’t need to apologize.”
“I do. For one thing, I lied about going to see my brother. That was just an excuse.”
“I figured that.”
“And for another, you’re my guest, and it was rude. I let my feelings get the best of me and I’m sure it didn�
��t make you feel very comfortable.”
“I’m a big girl, I’ll be fine.” She added three spoonfuls of sugar and a splash of cream.
He sipped from his own mug. “Doesn’t change that I acted inappropriately.”
“Well, you’re forgiven, but there’s nothing to forgive.” She gave the coffee a stir.
He smiled and shook his head. “Very kind of you. It won’t happen again. I had a long think last night. Wasn’t fun. But I realized that I’ve been a little childish about this whole thing.” He shrugged. “So we got married. There’s no point in me holding you hostage for four more months.”
“You’re not hold—”
“You’re a grown woman. You just said so. You know your mind. And I’d rather us remain friends, than let things go south just because of some silly, self-imposed deadline.”
She squinted at him. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I did what I should have done a long time ago. I called an attorney this morning before I turned in. The annulment papers will be drawn up by the end of the week. When you return home, it’ll be as a single woman once again.”
“That’s…great.” But a gloom settled over her. “You can just turn your feelings off that quickly?”
He stared into his coffee. “Last night was a real eye-opener. I’ll just say that.”
“Oh.” The happiness she’d felt just a few moments ago had completely drained away. But she shouldn’t be feeling that way. She should be thrilled. This was what she’d wanted. She fixed her expression into a smile and made the right words come out of her mouth. “That was nice of you. Thank you.”
He nodded and tossed back the rest of his coffee. “I do have to ask you for one favor.”
“Anything.” She would have given him the world in that moment. Anything to make him stay.
“Would you be willing to wear your ring this evening? Seeing as how I told my grandmother we were married and all. If you don’t show up with a ring, she’ll give me such grief if she thinks I didn’t get you one. She’d probably think that’s why you were divorcing me.” He laughed. “It would just make things easier. For me, anyway. Would you?”
She wanted to sob. She held her smile steady instead. “Absolutely.”
“Thanks.” He put his cup in the sink. “I’m off to get ready. See you back here in sixty?”
She nodded, face still frozen in a grin she didn’t feel. “You got it.”
He strode off.
Her smile died. She looked at her bare hand. All night long she was going to wear the beautiful reminder of how much he loved her. Had loved her. And all night long she’d think about how his emotions had shifted as quickly as a werewolf in heat.
She swallowed. On the surface, this proved what she’d believed about men since Alonso had betrayed her. That men could turn their feelings off and on as if they worked on a switch, but she’d done this to Julian. Pushed him to this with her refusal to love him. She had only herself to blame. And Alonso, damn him.
She cursed him and her past for the thousandth time, disappointed that her fight to get beyond what had happened to her raged on. She wanted to move ahead, to trust the future, but her fear always won.
If ever there was a man worth accepting, worth the struggle of overcoming, it was Julian. Too bad he’d already decided he’d waited long enough. And too bad that decision had come after she’d fallen in love with him.
Julian leaned his head against the shower wall and let the hot water beat on him. He had never felt worse than he had lying to Desi. But it was the right thing to do. In a twisted sort of way. He had to let her go in order to salvage what was left of his heart before it hardened like hers had.
And if she never told him what had really transpired between her and Alonso, that was fine. Maybe it wouldn’t help him understand anything about her. Maybe it was just a crutch she used to keep herself from getting hurt again.
Good for her. At least one of them would come out of this unscathed.
He rinsed and got out. He’d have time to wallow in his misery when this was all said and done, which meant that starting tomorrow he was going to get to the bottom of whoever was harassing her so that she could return home as soon as possible.
How, he wasn’t sure, but he’d figure something out. Maybe her people would get back to her with the ticket info. Maybe they already had. He needed to ask her about that.
He dried off and dressed in a simple suit, although he allowed himself a slightly bolder tie choice than his grandmother would probably approve of. He didn’t care. He needed to make himself happy.
The last thing he did was take Desi’s engagement ring from the drawer in the island in his closet. It should have been in a safe.
No, it should have been on her finger.
He closed his eyes and sighed. Those kinds of thoughts weren’t going to help him. Just like keeping the ring with the rest of his personal effects wasn’t a healthy thing to do either. He opened the box and studied the brilliant, flashing stone. It was enormous and had cost a ransom, but he hadn’t blinked at the price.
She was worth a thousand diamonds like this. No matter what happened between them, she’d still have a place in his heart, but one thing was for sure. This ring had to go somewhere else.
Maybe he’d take it to Willa and see if she could find a buyer for it. He snapped the box closed and tucked it in his pocket, then headed out to wait on Desi.
But she was already in the living room. “You got ready fast.”
“Didn’t want to be the reason we were late.” She was in a sleek black dress. The hem was a giant ruffle that danced above her knees in the front and just below them in the back, showing off the dress’s hot pink lining. Her high heels were also black, but covered in jet crystals. Her earrings, dangling below her riot of curls, looked to be made of the same. He imagined this was about as conservative as she got.
She held out her arms and did a slow twirl. “You like?”
“Stunning.” As always. He put his hand to his broken heart. “Just one thing you’re missing.” He dug the box from his pocket and opened it.
Her smile wavered. Or had he imagined that? She stretched her hand out as she walked toward him. “Ah, yes. The ring.”
He took it out of the box and slid it onto her finger, holding her hand a moment longer than necessary.
She laughed. “It’s heavier than I remember.”
“Well, you only had it on for a few hours. And most of those you were asleep for.”
“True.” She looked up as he looked at her. Their eyes met and the tension that had been present over coffee returned. Then she smiled. “So tonight I’m the good little wife, am I?”
“No need to lie, but…it would be nice if my grandmother could see that we are actually friends.”
“Easy enough.” She picked up the black clutch on the counter. “Because we are. Friends.”
Was she reminding him or herself? He wasn’t sure. But if there was tension between them, Elenora would pick it up like a hound dog after a rabbit. Sure, she knew that he and Desi were getting divorced and tension would be natural, but it would set off Elenora’s uncontrollable urge to fix things. If she thought everything was going well between them, she’d be more likely to leave them alone. Maybe he could play off an uneasiness on Desi’s stalker. That was a good reason for them both to be on edge.
He took his keys out of the glass dish on the foyer table. “Come on, I’ll give you the Elenora Ellingham primer on the ride over. Everything you ever wanted to know about your soon-to-be ex’s grandmamma. And probably some you didn’t.”
They headed down to the car and were soon tooling along. Julian told Desi a few funny stories about Elenora, mentioned some of his grandmother’s pet peeves along with some of her favorite things, talked about the history with Alice and how her spell on the town’s water supply kept the tourists in the dark, and finished up with all the charity work Elenora did. He hoped that provided some balance to Elenora’s pri
cklier side.
He ended just as he pulled into Elenora’s long drive. The estate was lit up, as it was every evening when she was expecting company, and even to his eyes it looked impressive.
Desi must have thought so too. She leaned forward to see out the windshield a little better. “Is this for real?”
“One hundred percent.”
“You didn’t mention your grandmother was a baller.”
He laughed. “She is basically the OG of Nocturne Falls.”
Desi squinted at him. “You’re way too white to talk like that.” Then she laughed too, and went back to looking at the house. “This is one legit crib. I can’t wait to see the inside. You think she’ll give me a tour? Or would that not be appropriate?”
“She’d love to show you the house. Just know it’ll add at least half an hour to the evening.”
Desi shrugged as he parked in front of the grand double doors. “Aren’t we a little early anyway?”
“A little, yes.” He smiled. What did it matter if they stayed longer? “So you should definitely ask her.”
“Thanks. I will.” She kept her gaze on him. “Are you nervous about tonight?”
“Not really.” He was a little. Why, he wasn’t sure. What did it matter if Elenora and Desi got along? They’d never see each other again after this. And frankly, getting an amulet for Desi was only going to be a temporary situation now that the divorce papers were being processed.
Nothing that happened tonight would make much difference in anyone’s life. And yet, as he got out and walked around to open her door, he wanted everything to go smoothly in the most desperate way. As if Desi liking Elenora was going to change her feelings about him.
He was a fool, despite his decision to push his feelings down and see Desi on her way. It was proving much, much harder than he’d anticipated.
He opened her door, helped her out, then offered her his arm. “Shall we?”
She took it. “Lead on.”
He did, taking her up to the doors. He rapped the knocker three times. About thirty seconds later, Wentworth, Elenora’s special occasion butler, answered the door. Elenora must really want to impress Desi if she’d brought Wentworth in.
The Vampire's Accidental Wife (Nocturne Falls Book 8) Page 12
