by David Smith
“Thank you Commander, I wish I could take the credit. Sadly, my Helmsman and my Science Officer came up with the idea and the Tactical Officer worked out how to circumvent the asteroid at speed. All I had to do was find a way of delaying the mission start” said Dave honestly.
“Well that just makes it a brilliant team effort, and my congratulations are still valid” she smiled. “You’ve set the bar high, and caught the Commodore out, but he’ll be more careful now. You’re not out of the woods yet.”
“Thank you Commander, I understand that. The Commodore called as soon as we got back. I couldn’t understand much of what he was saying but he seemed very …. animated? I doubt we’ve heard he last of this.”
Chapter 8
“Good morning everyone, welcome to the brief for Mission Two. This mission is intended to test the ship’s sensor capability, precision maneuvering and transporter systems. I’m sorry to have to tell you that the whole of this exercise will be undertaken within one of our asteroid belts.”
Chamberlain pulled up a holographic display of a portion of the same asteroid belt Tiger had passed through on the first test. Eight of the asteroids were coloured red and a series of barely visible red planes stretched between these eight points creating an elongated cuboid within in which hundreds of asteroids were contained. In the very centre of the approximate cuboid was a single green coloured dot.
The Commander continued her briefing “Tiger will begin the exercise at this point,” she indicated the green dot, “and to succeed you’ll have to locate the fifteen marker devices hidden within the red boundaries. Some of the devices have beacons, others only give out a particular wavelength of radiation, and the emissions will not be consistent or regular.”
There were groans from around the table. From talking to personnel from other ships the crew had expected to hunt a needle in a haystack. They hadn’t expected the needles to try and hide themselves.
“As with the previous test there are conditions that must be complied with. One, you must complete the mission within an eight hour period and recover all fifteen devices intact. Two, you're not to use the ships navigational deflector to move asteroids out of the way. Three, the devices with beacons take absolute priority and must be collected within thirty minutes of the beacon having activated."
“Assuming Commander Hollins doesn’t have any objections,“ she said casting a pointed glance in Dave’s direction, “the mission will begin 0900 station time tomorrow. Good luck, everybody.”
The crew stood up and began to leave, but as Dave headed off she said “Commander Hollins, could possibly have a word?”
Dave waited until the others had filed out of the briefing room and approached her. “What can I do for you, Commander?” he asked politely.
“Nothing, really, I just thought I’d give you a heads-up. I can’t go into specifics, but the Commodore has gone out of his way to make this exercise exceptionally difficult. The sequence of beacon activations will require you to move back and forth a lot, so you’ll be very dependent on your Helmsman and Transporter Chief. I suggest you make sure you brief them thoroughly.”
“Thanks for the warning, Commander, we’ll be ready.”
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That night Dave was woken by a buzz from his comm-set. Sitting up, but still half-asleep he answered “Hollins here.”
“Sorry to disturb you sir. It’s Lieutenant Janus, sir, Duty Watch”
“What’s up Lieutenant?”
“It’s Crash, sir: he’s been arrested.”
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“I’m sorry Commander Hollins, but the Commodore left specific orders that he was not to be disturbed for any reason while off-duty” said the Yeoman who acted as the Commodore’s PA.
“He was on duty less than half an hour ago when he ordered the Station’s Master Sergeant to beam across to Tiger with an armed party and arrest my Helmsman!” complained Dave.
“Well the Commodore’s off-duty now and I’m not disturbing him over something as trivial as this. It’ll have to wait until he’s back on duty” said the Yeoman.
“When will that be?”
The Yeoman huffed and checked his pad “That will be ……. 1000 station time tomorrow.”
“But we have to have the ship on the range for a 0900 start! It’s a maneuvering test and I need a Helmsman!” objected Dave.
“Ah, well the Commodore did suggest you might say something along those lines” smiled the Yeoman “so he asked me to pass you a message.”
“Which is?”
“Tough titty, old son!”
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“Lieutenant Stallworth is under arrest for desertion, sir” said the huge, and very heavily armed Marine Sergeant blocking Dave’s way into the Station’s Brig.
“That’s ridiculous! You’ve just forcibly taken him from his quarters on the ship he’s been assigned to for the last eighteen months. He hasn’t even used up his leave allowance yet! How can he possibly be a deserter??” said Dave, completely mystified.
“Because according to Starfleet records Lieutenant Stallworth has never been assigned to USS Tiger, sir.”
“WHAT?!?”
“If you’d care to consult the personnel listings from fleet records, you’ll find that Lieutenant Stallworth was assigned to USS Tigris, a “River” class runabout in Sector 113. He never arrived there and the Commanding Officer listed him as AWOL.”
"WHAT?!?" said Dave for the second time.
"He was listed as AWOL for three months, but after that amount of time with no further feedback, he's officially designated as a deserter."
Dave was going to say "WHAT?!?" again, but realised he'd probably already over-used the word. "Can I speak to him?"
The guard thought about it, and said "The Commodore told me specifically that he was only allowed to communicate with his Commanding Officer, and he's still on USS Tigris about a fifty light years from here. But as the Commodore is something of an asshole, I guess it won't hurt. Make it quick."
Dave headed through the door to find a second guard. Telling him he was here to see Lieutenant Stallworth, he was lead into the Brig's cell block.
The Brig on Tiger was small and spartan. Here on a major space-station, they had more physical space and greater resources for a more elaborate structure. Dave was led down a long straight corridor with a dozen smaller passages off each side, each segregated by a force-field between the passageway and corridor. Down each smaller passage was a series of cells, each with their own force-fields to contain the inmates. As they passed each passageway he caught glimpses of familiar faces from Tiger, albeit most of them being faces altered by cuts, bruises and black-eyes. At least Crash wouldn't get lonely down here, he sighed.
At the very last passageway, they paused and the escort dropped the force-field to allow Dave into the cell area. In the very last cell he found Crash, slouched on the floor in the corner of the bare cell.
"Hey Crash, if you wanted to have a day off the tests you only had to ask." Dave quipped.
Dave's voice startled the young Lieutenant and he sprang to his feet and saluted, before visibly slumping "Sorry sir, I guess they’ve got me dead to rights?"
"Desertion?"
"Well ..... I guess ..... after a fashion." replied Crash uncertainly. "Either way, it's my own fault, and I am sorry sir."
"So what's the story?"
The young Lieutenant walked to the back of the cell, turned his back to the wall and slid down into an untidy crouch before explaining. "I was pumped when I left the academy, couldn't wait to get to my ship. I heard my posting get read out and couldn't wait for my written orders to arrive so I was on the comms a minute later sorting out travel arrangements. I transported straight to Space-dock and jumped on a freighter, changed at Regulus the day I got there and was at the Tiger three months to the day after graduating"
"We all thought it was just perfectly routine: Tiger's Helmsman had disappeared without trace a few wee
ks earlier, and I turned up ready to take the seat. It didn't occur to anyone at the time that he'd disappeared a few weeks earlier, but I'd already been in transit for months. ASBeau and the rest just assumed Joynes had somehow actually ..... well ...... done something for once."
“Anyhow, I was just in the nick of time. Cassini was doing his nut that the ship was ready for an attempt at the class speed-record but they didn't have a recognised Helmsman, and then I turn up out of the blue, all "Manna from Heaven" like.”
“I take the ship for a few spins, everyone is happy, we break the speed-record and break the ship on the same day. Next time Santiago comes to Hole she's carrying a dispatch for me that's been in the post trying to catch up with me since I left the Academy. It tells me I'm assigned to USS Tigris, not USS Tiger. I panic, go see Commander Joynes, and he says "Don't worry, man, ah'll fix it tamara"”
"Nothing more gets said, and stupidly, I assumed Joynes had actually done something about it. It would appear that was not the case. So here I am, and I guess here I'll stay, until this is cleared up", Crash shrugged.
"So this is all a daft misunderstanding??" said Dave incredulously.
"Yes sir, but from what I hear, it's played right into the Commodore's hands."
Indeed it had thought Dave, and he knew that no matter how obviously this was just a misunderstanding, the Commodore would undoubtedly make sure Crash stayed in the Brig for the duration of the tests.
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Dave called the Adjutant immediately and explained the situation. It didn’t get quite the response he’d hoped for. “So you’ve got yourself in a mess and you want me to help you?”
“Well, I’m hoping you may be able to see this as the harmless misunderstanding it is.”
“Hollins, it’s 3am. Harmu …. Hurless ……. mmm ….. muus …… muuhuu …… yeah. Thought so: I can’t even say it, let alone understand it. Call me back at a reasonable time.”
“But we’re on the Range by 0900!”
“Really? How desperately sad. Chamberlain out.”
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Dave realised he wasn’t going to get Crash back in time, and as Chamberlain had pointed out in the lead-up to the last exercise “incarceration” didn’t allow the same delays as “incapacitation”.
The relief Helmsman was Lieutenant Janice Lyle. He’d never actually met her, as when he was on duty the senior staff were on duty too. He checked her service record and was disappointed to see that Janice had been transferred around several ships and had always been moved to the relief Helmsman role, which didn’t speak well for her capability. Sadly, he didn’t have a choice, and decided to call her early to give her time to come to speed on the mission’s requirements.
“Lyle here. What the hell’s so important it can’t wait ‘til sun-up?”
“Lieutenant, this is Commander Hollins …… “
“Oh shit. Sorry sir, it’s not often I get called.”
“Quite alright Lieutenant, I couldn’t agree with you more, this is a stupid time to be calling, and I’m sorry to have to call you so early. Unfortunately, we have a situation. Crash isn’t available for today’s mission and I need you to step up to the plate.”
“Of course sir, it would ……. Ooooohhh …….. be ….. ahhhhhh …… an honourrrrrr!” she moaned.
Dave felt massively embarrassed: had he interrupted her in a private moment??
“I’m sorry Lieutenant, I seem to have caught you at a bad time, but I really need you on duty as soon as possible.”
“Of course sir, uhhhh, I’m on it …….. oh boy am I on it! Uh, uh, uh ……….. ahhhhhh!”
“Er ….. I’ll see you on the Bridge as soon as you’re ready Lieutenant.”
“Yes, Yes, Yes, YES, YES, YYYEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!” she screamed and Dave hastily cut the comm-link.
--------------------
Thirty minutes later, Dave relieved Lieutenant Janus and shortly after, Lieutenant Lyle arrived.
She stepped out of the turbo-lift, and seeing Dave turn around to face her, she suddenly blushed bright red, and immediately went to take her station at the Helm.
She started quickly running through her duty checks, making sure everything was in order and when satisfied everything was set and ready to go, she turned to Dave. “I’m sorry, sir, I thought you might have heard about…… “
Dave didn’t want to pry into her personal life and interrupted her “It’s quite alright Lieutenant, we’re only human, and it’s my fault for calling you in your off-duty time.”
She blushed again “Oh, I don’t mind that sir, but I don’t know if anyone has explained my circumstances?”
“As I said Lieutenant, it’s a personal issue, what you do off-duty in your private life, is none of my business.”
Still blushing she started to speak again, “Thank you sir, but I thought you ought to know …..”
She was interrupted by the arrival of the turbo-lift and a half-asleep ASBeau stomped onto the bridge “What the hell is going on??? Janus just called me to say Crash has been pulled??”
Dave sighed, “Yeah, it’s true. They’ve got him on a bum rap, but there’s no way we’re going to get him back in time for the mission. I’ve called Lieutenant Lyle up to fill-in.”
ASBeau looked at her, then back at Dave and said quietly, “Has she spoken to you yet?”
“About what?”
“Err….. Well ….. she, uh ….. “ ASBeau stuttered.
“I think I caught the gist of what you’re saying, I caught her at an inopportune moment earlier” said Dave.
“Well, she …… has a lot of “inopportune moments” said ASBeau quietly.
“We don’t have time …… “ Dave started, and as if on cue, the Computer pinged.
“Commander Hollins, it is 0555 station time, you have called the senior staff to the Officer’s Mess at 0600 station time for a final briefing.”
With that, Dave took the lift to the Officer’s Mess, and when the team had assembled, he explained the situation to them. He felt the engines cut in as Lyle took them to the starting position for the mission.
He was still explaining the situation and trying to find out if anyone had ideas that could improve their chances of success, when he took a call from Chief Money.
“Hi Chief, make it quick please, we’re in the middle of a briefing.”
“Sorry sir, I heard what happened and thought I’d see if I could help.”
Jeez, bad news travels fast, Dave thought. If they could harness the power of bad news, warp-drive would be obsolete overnight.
The Chief continued “I’m on the bridge with Lieutenant Lyle now sir, I have some information that will make the mission considerably easier.”
“Really?? What ….. How?”
“I called in a favour sir, best if you don’t ask. Plausible deniability on your part may be an asset later today.”
“Uh ….. Thanks?” said Dave, not sure what to make of the Chief’s unexplained plan.
“Just doing my duty sir. And before you ask, have you got any idea how long it’s taken me to build up the team and business I have here on Tiger? I can’t afford to let them split my team up!”
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At 0900 station time, Lyle powered up the drives and moved Tiger into the mission field. Shearer, O’Mara and ASBeau were also scanning the area for signs of activity using all of the considerable number of sensors the ship carried.
To his surprise, Lyle kept the drives burning and accelerated through the belt.
“Uh …… Lieutenant, please reduce speed. We’re in an asteroid belt?”
“Sorry, sir, I’ve plotted these manoeuvres with the Chief and we really need to get a move on.”
With that, a large asteroid swam into view on the screen and Lyle skillfully rolled the ship through three hundred and sixty degrees while also using thrusters to accelerate the ship sideways, performing an elegant barrel-roll around the asteroid whilst still accelerating.
Dave’s eyes widened and he found himself holding his breath as the Lieutenant casually threw the Tiger through the unexpected manoeuvre.
They approached another even larger asteroid and as Lyle swung the Tiger around it, another asteroid swam into view, heading straight towards the ship. There was a collective drawing of breath from everyone on the bridge except Dolplop and Lyle. Dolplop remained as impassive as always, but Lyle was cool and collected, very gently slipping the Tiger sideways and evading the errant rock by meters.
“Ooooooh” she moaned.
Spinning the Tiger through one hundred and eighty degrees she hit the reaction drive, Tiger’s engines growling as the drive cut in at one hundred percent, and slowing the ship enough for another large asteroid to drift pass.
There was a collective sigh of relief, except for Lyle who merely said, “Mmmmmm!”
Dave tore his eyes from the view-screen long enough to notice that his Helmsman seemed unable to sit still and was wriggling in her seat in a most unprofessional manner.
“Oooooooooaaaaa……” she moaned as she span the ship back around to face her original heading and accelerated hard.
“Are you ok, Lyle?” asked Dave, slightly concerned.
A light blinked on O’Mara’s console and she yelped “Got one! Passing co-ords to Transporter Room.”
“Uh …. Uh ….. uh ….. uh ……” continued Lyle.
Shortly after, Chief Andy Carstairs called from the Transporter Room “Tagged it! One down, fourteen to go.”
“Yes ……... Yes ……... Yes ……. Yess …. Yess..yes..yes.yes.yes.yesyesyesyes,…..OOOOOHHHH YEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!! screamed Lyle, throwing the ship through another elegant, almost balletic manoeuvre as she did.
She seemed to be shaking in her seat as she did, and Dave had to ask, “Lyle, what the hell is wrong???”
O’Mara answered, as Lyle was clearly having some kind of fit. “Janice suffers from Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder, sir. She suffers from almost random sexual arousal and being sat down can actually result in spontaneous orgasm.”
