by Marilyn Lee
“If you did, you’d be the biggest fool on the planet.”
Damn right I was for what I’d just suggested.
She shook her head. “I know we have no damned business fucking each other, but I didn’t come here to break up your marriage.”
But that’s probably what I’d just allowed her to do. No. She hadn’t done it. I had. Jemma hadn’t forced herself on. I’d been only too eager to hop into bed with her again—knowing I had a woman worth two of Jemma and three of me. “Then why did you come?” I asked, feeling a dose of cold reality fill me with dread at what I’d done—with a woman who thought of me only as a big dick.
“These days with you were off the charts.”
“But?”
“But I’m engaged and I have no interest in breaking it off.”
I felt as if she’d slapped me in the face. “I don’t understand, Jemma.” I knew I didn’t sound very gracious, but I couldn’t help it. I’d been prepared to leave Tasha for one last chance with her, and now she’d made me feel like the low–down heel that I was.
“Dave and I are getting married in a couple of months.”
“What?”
“Yes.” She smiled, pinching her nipples. “He’s a great guy.”
She got a faraway look in her eyes and I knew she was thinking about him.
“He and I talked it over and he agreed to let me have one final fling. I just needed to get you out of my system once and for all. I’ve done that. Now I can settle down with my Dave.”
I stared at her, speechless.
She frowned. “Didn’t you mean it, Jimmy? Don’t you love Tasha? She is very sweet and you know she loves you.”
I felt about two inches tall. Of course I loved Tasha. I always had. But it had taken a love affair with Jemma the first time around to make me realize it. And now, it had taken a rejection from Jemma to make me realize that I still loved Tasha and that I’d probably just thrown away the love of the sweetest woman in the world for a meaningless fling.
Jemma offered me one final fuck, but I’d finally learned my lesson. I refused, took a shower and left her.
All the way home, I kept thinking what an idiot I’d been to betray Tasha. Yes the sex with Jemma was out of this world. But how could I have lost sight of what was really important? I knew without a doubt that Tasha would always have my back and always been there for me—no matter what.
I knew the same could never be said of Jemma. I’d known that before I slept with her. And yet, for the sake of sex, I’d ruined my marriage. When I tried to imagine a life without Tasha, I felt almost physically sick. She was everything to me. Everything. And I’d betrayed her for a few nights with a woman I didn’t really even like. I’d always had a scorching lust for Jemma, but I’d never liked her. Never. With her, it had always been about the sex with nothing of substance between us. We’d never shared even a casual friendship or mutual caring.
I wanted to call Tasha, but couldn’t. What could I say to atone for what I’d done to her on a day when I should have been giving thanks for her love and the marriage I feared I only belatedly valued?
After a long, miserable day, I lay in bed, staring at Tasha’s picture. How was I going to face her? The thought of confessing sent chills of dread through me. I couldn’t tell her what I’d done. Yet I couldn’t pretend I hadn’t betrayed her. It was just a question of finding the best way and time to tell her. And then pray like hell that she could forgive me.
I had dozed off when the phone rang. At the sound of Tasha’s voice, I flushed with guilt. “Hi, sweetheart. How’s your mom?”
“She’s in some pain, but that’s to be expected. She sends her love.”
“And mine to her and your dad.”
“Are you all right, Jimmy?”
I’d never been less all right. “I’m okay,” I said.
“Are you sure? I thought something had happened. I’ve been calling all weekend. You never picked up the house phone or your cell. I was worried. I was about to fly home.”
I sighed. “I spent the weekend out.”
“You had Thanksgiving with friends? Was it a good one?”
It was the worst one of my life. “No,” I said. “It wasn’t.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” She paused and I could imagine her moistening her lips before she spoke again. “I heard from Beth that she thought Jemma might be in town.”
Oh, fuck! “She is or was.”
“Did you…see her?”
God, I wished seeing her was all I’d done. “Yes. As a matter of fact we spent Thanksgiving day together.”
“Oh…well, did you have fun?”
I hesitated only briefly and then told her that I’d spent the weekend with Jemma. I didn’t actually tell her of my infidelity. I wanted to, but I just couldn’t. My lack of courage didn’t matter because I knew she knew. We’d grown very close during our marriage and she almost certainly read between the lines. She was after all my best friend.
“So how was it?” Her voice shook as she asked the question.
I didn’t know what to say. Did she want me to tell her that she was better in bed than Jemma? Well, she wasn’t as uninhibited as Jemma, but she’d always given herself to me with love. Why the hell hadn’t that been enough for me? Why had I gone chasing lust with so little regard for the only woman I’d ever loved?
Why was I so late in realizing that were more important in a relationship than sex—like the devotion and love of a woman who’d always been there for me and never let me down. If only I’d found that out before I made the biggest mistake of my life and slept with Jemma.
“I’m sorry, Tasha. I do love you,” I said weakly, a vision of the miserable existence I’d have without her by my side. “I must have been mad.”
“Oh, God, Jimmy. So you and she…?”
“Yes,” I whispered, feeling my eyes water.
“You made love to her?”
“No. I fucked her. The only woman I’ve ever made love to is you because you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved.” I waited for her to call me a lying cheat and to scream abuse at me. God knows I deserved it and fully expected it.
But that’s not my Tasha. She’s never been vindictive or foul–mouthed. Just sweet, supportive, and totally too good to and for me. And now I’d lost her. “Oh, God, Tasha. Baby, I’m so sorry.”
“You’re sorry?”
“Yes! Oh, God, I swear I am.”
“So am I.”
She sounded so bleak I knew it was over between us—unless I could find a way to change her mind. “I know I don’t deserve it, but baby, please forgive me. Forgive me. Please. If you do, I swear I’ll make it up to you. I’ll spend the rest of our marriage making it up to you. I’ll be good to you, Tasha. I swear. It won’t ever happen again.”
“Why did it happen this time?”
Good question. If only I had an answer that made sense to any part of me but my dick. “Because I was a total fool. I really need you to forgive me, Tasha.”
“And if I don’t?”
Oh, God! Please help me find the right words to say to her. “If you don’t, I don’t know what to do.”
“You’ll go on with your life. It’s not as if you’re going to die, Jimmy. You’ll just find yourself another Jemma.”
“There’ll never been one like you who I love and who loves me.”
“And where exactly did that love get me with you, Jimmy?”
Oh, hell! What now? “I fucked up and I am so sorry, baby. I swear I am. It’s not just words. I know I hurt you and if I could kick myself I would. Please forgive me.”
She was silent for so long, I half expected to hear the phone slamming down in my ear. Instead, she sucked in a deep breath and spoke in a voice that trembled. “Did you use protection?”
Oh, shit, man. You blew it. No wife should ever have to ask her husband that question and then wait in fear for the answer. “Yes. Tasha, baby, please. I know I fucked up and it must not seem like it, but I love you.
I swear I do. I just got caught up in the moment and—oh, baby. Please forgive me. I do love you.”
I heard a sound that was probably a sob before she spoke again. “Do you or are you just used to me?”
“I know I’m a dickhead, but I know the difference between the two. Yes. I do love you.”
“My heart feels as if it’s broken into a hundred tiny pieces.” She sucked in a deep breath that made me ache with shame.
“Oh, baby, I’m so sorry. What can I do to make this not hurt so much for you?”
“Oh, God, Jimmy! How could you?”
What could I say in response to that?
“I’d like to scream and shout at you.”
“I wish you would, baby. That would make me feel better.”
“Really? Well, you know what? This isn’t about making you feel better Jimmy! It’s about me! You deserve to feel like shit.”
“You’re right. I do deserve it and I do.”
“Good! Oh, God. I wish you hadn’t done this Jimmy.”
“So do I. I’d do anything to undone it, but I can’t.” My voice cracked and I had to pause to give myself time to regain my composure. ”Oh, baby. Before you say anything else, please listen. I can’t believe I ruined our marriage for her. It was just sex. What you and I share is so much more.”
“But the sex with her is better?”
How the hell was I supposed to answer that? “It’s more uninhibited. I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer so it’s taken me awhile to realize that doesn’t necessarily mean better. I had sex with her—raw and emotionless. With you, I make love with all the emotion and feels sex with a woman I love involves.
“Please, baby. Please. Forgive me. I’ll do anything you want. I’ll go to marriage counseling. I’ll—”
“Just please tell me the truth. Is it finally over?”
I nodded. “Yes it’s over.”
“For good? Because if I forgive your dumb ass, I’m not going to go through this every few years. If you want her, tell me now and I’ll let you have your slut and walk away.”
I blinked. “My slut?” I’d never heard Tasha talk that way.
“Your slut! What else am I supposed to call a whore who can’t be satisfied unless she’s fucking another woman’s husband? She’s a sleazy slut and you’re a stupid bastard who had better stop thinking with his dick or you’ll lose the best thing that’s ever likely to happen to your stupid ass!”
Her outburst made me feel better because I hoped her anger meant she still cared and just might be able to forgive me in time.
“I am a stupid ass.”
“You’re damned right you are, Jimmy. You’re a stupid, horny bastard who doesn’t know the meaning of fidelity.”
Oh, fuck! She wasn’t going to forgive me.
“You’re a useless ass—but I love you.”
“Oh, thank you God!” I whispered and closed my eyes a tear slid down my cheek.
“You promise me it’s over and I’ll do my best to forgive you.”
“It is—”
“Don’t say it unless you mean it because if that sleazy hoochie mama comes anywhere near you again, I’ll kick her skinny little ass all over this city. And you? I’ll fuck you up if you ever hurt me like this again, you bastard! You’re not a boy. Be a man and stop thinking with your dick! That big dick belongs to me and I’ll be damned if I’ll have you sticking it anywhere but in me!”
My dick belonged to her? Holy hell. I was speechless, impressed, aroused, and incredibly thankful. Who knew my Tasha had such fire and passion in her? I felt my cock stirring. “It was a mistake that I’ll spend years trying to atone to you for. I swear, baby. It’s over.”
“And you want to be with me?”
“Yes. I love you.”
“No more sticking my big, beautiful cock into strange pussies?”
“No.”
“Good. Then I can tell you that in just seven and a half months there’s going to be another Relihan to complete our family.”
As I lay on the bed reeling with delight, my beautiful, understanding treasure-of-a-wife spoke in a low, warning voice. “So you just watch yourself, buddy. Soon there’ll be two of us you have to answer to and neither of us will be in any mood to take any shit from you.”
“I won’t give either of you any. Damn, I love you, Tasha.”
“I love you, too, Jimmy. Please don’t ever forget that,” she said with a wistfulness that made me ache.
I knew she was asking me to promise that I would never even think of cheating on her again. I couldn’t promise I’d always be in love with her—even though I thought I would. But I could promise to always remember how much of a treasure I had in my beautiful wife and lifelong friend. If the unthinkable happened, and I fell out of love with her and in love with someone else, I’d tell her. I’d never sneak around behind her back. “I won’t,” I said softly.
“Then I’ll think about forgiving you, Jimmy because I love you and want to be your wife and only lover.”
“I want that too, baby.”
“And I want our baby to grow up in a home with two parents who love each and respect each other.”
“I want that too.”
“Then we’ll move on.”
For those few words, she did what she’d always done—made everything in my world right again.
Tasha and I never talked about my infidelity again. We talked each night for the rest of her two week stay with her parents.
The morning of her return, I woke with what felt like butterflies in my stomach. I couldn’t concentrate on work and had no appetite. The day seemed endless and I found myself afraid that she’d decide not to forgive me after all and not come home.
That night, I arrived home to find soft jazz playing. As I walked through the house, it was lit only by candlelight. There was nothing on the stove. I returned to the foyer and looked up the stairs. “Tasha? Baby? Are you home?”
“Up here,” she called.
Taking a slow, deep breath, I ran under the stairs. I paused in our bedroom doorway—staring. A nearly naked Tasha laid spread eagle on our bed on her belly with a tube of lube resting between her legs. She had on three-inch black heels and thigh-high hose. A red ribbon with a tag lay on her big, beautiful ass.
And damn if her reaction didn’t illustrate just why I loved her so much. I was the one who had fucked up and risked our marriage. Yet, there she was showing me she was ready to tear down the last barrier between us. And I’d never deserved it less.
I put the red roses and champagne on the dresser and quickly crossed the room to bend down to kiss her neck. “Damn, baby, I’ve never seen such a beautiful sight,” I told her.
“And it’s all yours,” she said before she turned her head and we shared a long, sweet kiss.
“Welcome home, baby,” I said when we broke our lip lock to breathe.
“Glad to see me?”
“Oh, hell yes.” I caressed her beautiful ass cheeks and moved around the bed to lift the tag resting on her ass to read the words she’d written on it.
Jimmy’s ass.
My heart pounded and my cock roared to life. I knelt beside the bed and looked into her beautiful eyes. “Does this mean what I think it does?” I asked.
“Yes,” she whispered. “My ass is yours, Jimmy.”
I’d occasionally suggested we try anal sex, but she’d always been hesitant and I’d never pressed the issue. All doubts about her ability to fully forgive me vanished and her generosity humbled and shamed me. “Oh, baby, you’re too good to me. I can’t. Not under these circumstances.”
“What the hell is wrong with you, Jimmy? I’m spread out like a damned turkey and you’d better get your cock in gear and get it up my ass, or I’ll kick yours!”
Holy shit! I was so excited, I felt as if I was in heaven—and I hadn’t even touched her ass yet. And there was no way in hell I could say no to her or my own desire. I kissed her neck. “You and your love is like a gift from God that I’ll
spend the rest of my life cherishing.”
“Never mind the cherishing, Jimmy. We have the rest of our lives for that. Right now, I’m feeling a little adventurous. Be gentle, but my ass is yours to fuck.”
“And my heart is yours,” I told her.
“Is it? Well, right now I’m more interested in your cock than I am in that fickle heart of yours,” she said. “So are you going to fuck or are you going to talk me to sleep?”
I was an ass, but not fool. I was definitely going to fuck. I ripped off my clothes, masturbated until I was hard, and then I put on a condom. I sucked her toes and then kissed my way up from her ankle to her pussy.
She trembled and turned onto her back and parted her lovely legs.
Oh, hell, yeah. I’ve always enjoyed eating her. I love the taste and fragrance of her aroused pussy. There’s something extra special about tasting it and knowing mine is the only cock that’s ever been inside it.
While I normally devoured her with a quick, greedy enjoyment the moment I slipped my tongue inside her, I knew she deserved something special from me besides the roses and champagne—like a long, slow pussy suck. Steeling myself against making her come in a heated rush, I ate her slowly.
She moaned and bucked her hips off the bed and smashed my face against her pussy.
Oh, yeah, baby, come for me.
Then she gushed against my tongue.
Damn, I loved the taste of her cumming pussy. So I cupped my hands under her big ass and licked her clean. While she lay moaning with the aftermath of her climax, I urged her onto her stomach.
Pushing a pillow under her hips, I positioned myself above her in preparation for my dessert.
She reached back to spread her cheeks and hold them apart for me. “This is your ass, Jimmy. Take it. Enjoy it.”
Oh, hell! That’s what I wanted and needed. I poured lube over my condom covered cock and into the crease of her lovely cheeks. Then I pressed my cock against her hole and slowly pushed it inside her virgin ass.
She tensed.
“I’ll be gentle,” I promised. After giving her a moment to adjust to having me lodged inside, I eased more into her.
She gasped, her body shaking as I slowly eased in and out of her tight ass.
