by Lori Wick
"As you can imagine, I'm not getting out these days."
"We knew you were back, but I wasn't certain if we should
call. Suddenly I couldn't stand it any longer. Was it pretty
awful?"
343
"Yes and no. I never really expected Tanner to be in touch,
so I wasn't surprised when I didn't hear from him. And then
after I'd learned that he didn't even know we were staying at
the Blackwells', it was torture. Roddy told me he came to
Brentwood a week after I'd left."
Sunny nodded. "He came to Bracken, looking beside himself.
We talked for quite some time. I don't know if you'll be
upset, but I told him about how badly the servants treated
you."
"I'm not at all upset, but do you know what he did?" Stacy
asked.
"He told us what he had planned. Did he do it?"
"Yes. Price is still here, and so is cook. That's it. Not even
the stable hands stayed. Sometimes I feel wretched about it,
but then I remind myself that they all made their choices."
"That they did," Sunny agreed, not at all afraid of sounding
harsh. She'd been waited on her entire life and honestly
believed that both lord and servant could make the best or
worst of it. Knowing what an undemanding person Stacy was,
Sunny knew that the original servants at Winslow had been
completely out of line.
"What do you hear from Roddy and Lucinda?" Sunny
asked
"From Lucinda, nothing, but Roddy came to Christ when
he came to see me at the Blackwells', and we've had quite a
bit of communication."
"Oh, Stacy," Sunny exclaimed and hugged her friend. "You
must be thrilled."
"I am that. God had certainly prepared his heart for our
time together. Roddy was so eager to let God fill the void he
felt inside. Now he's like dry ground in the rain with the way
he's reading the Word and growing."
Stacy had no desire to gossip, so she did not go on to say,
that he was also doing amazingly well considering that he and
Lucinda were not living together at the moment.
"But you say that Lucinda has not been in touch?" Sunny
inquired.
344
"I've written her twice," Stacy explained, "asking
write to me so we can talk this out, but I've not heard ax.,
love Lucinda and I've already forgiven her, but I did tell
want some answers. She's obviously not ready to give th
me."
"Another thing to pray about."
"Yes," Stacy agreed
Much to everyone's delight, Sunny and Brandon ended u
staying for the greater part of the day. However, Stacy found i
taxing. In fact she was so tired that Tanner had to hold ,
surprise he had been keeping over until the following da$ i
The look of delight on Stacy and Drew's faces when he brought!
Hettie into the breakfast room the next morning was worth
the putting aside of his own feelings about the old servant.
lucinda knew that all of london was talking about her
and Roddy. It was not the gentle variety of gossip as when
they'd been married or what a handsome couple they made,
but it was the vicious type, the type Lucinda herself had often
engaged in. Minds and tongues were speculating everywhere
as to why the Earl of Glyn's wife had chosen to move from
their home.
Some said it was because they'd ruined a beautiful relationship
by getting married in the first place. Others said that
nothing could last forever, and some even said that the affections
of both parties had drifted and each decided to seek out
greener pastures.
Lucinda knew better than anyone how far the rumors
were from the truth. The fact that the Blackwells lived so far
distant from London was the only reason the duplicity of
Lucinda's actions toward Tanner and Stacy were not on every
tabloid in the city.
Lucinda kept telling herself she didn't care. She staunchly
put aside all emotions and went shopping and to the theater
whenever she desired. She did not see other men, but she had
determined to be as worldly as ever, a facade she couldn't quite manage in the lonely confines of her own room.
This morning she was feeling every one of her years and so
346
lonely for Roddy that she wanted to weep. Their last convt
tion, the one she managed to submerge so deeply within
mind that she hadn't thought about it in all these weeks, ci
back to her now so sharply that Roddy could have beei standing in the room with her.
"How could you?" Lucinda spat in anger.
"How could I what? Go after Stacy? Return her to her^
husband?"
"How could you go behind my back?"
Roddy stared at her in disbelief. He'd returned from his
search for Tanner to find that Lucinda had received word of
his actions and had moved from Brentwood to one of London's
finest hotels. She was beside herself when he sought her
out at the hotel, but her worry had nothing to do with Roddy's
well-being in the last four days, only the exposure of her
subterfuge.
"How can you possibly accuse me of going behind your back?"
"You don't understand," Lucinda railed. "He's going to
hurt her again, just like he always has. She thinks she wants
him, but she doesn't really. She was probably completely over
him by the time you got there, but you've sent Tanner to her
and now he'll give her no choice but to return."
"You couldn't be more wrong." Roddy's voice told his wife
he was growing furious. "She was miserable and lonely without
him. You can ask her yourself."
"How could you?" was all Lucinda would say.
"Your line of reasoning frightens me. In fact,you frighten
me," Roddy told Lucinda coldly. Lucinda's eyes widened with
shock. However, Roddy went on without mercy. "You wait until I
leave, and then you sneak Stacy and Drew away, and now you
stand there and ask me how I could go behind your back. Like I
said, you frighten me." Roddy turned to the door but paused
just before leaving. "When you're ready to come to your
senses and talk about this, Lucinda, you know where to find
me." With that Roddy had walked out. They hadn't spoken
since.
347
Now the words, the entire scene, unfolded so clearly in
:inda's mind that she felt a stab of pain around her heart. He
^Jiad been so right. At the time she had refused to see her own
wrong. She had accused him so she didn't have to face her own
' actions. But now...
Lucinda could not finish the thought. It had been weeks
since she'd seen him. What if it was too late? What if Roddy had
given up on her and begun to look for another?
Lucinda found this thought so unbearable that without
(care for how she looked, she snatched her cloak and ordered
her carriage. She was at Brentwood before she really had time
to think about what she would say, but she needed to see
Roddy so badly that she didn't care. It felt strange to come to
the door as a guest,
but Roddy's man, Carlson, greeted her
warmly and, thankfully, told her that his lord was in.
Carlson tried to show her to the parlor, but Lucinda declined.
She was still standing in the entryway, taking in
the sights and smells of her beloved home, when she heard
Roddy's footsteps. He stopped just two feet away from her and
drank in the sight of her flushed face and messy hair. She was
wearing a simple day-dress, with no jewelry or special fixings,
and Roddy thought her beautiful.
Lucinda was feeling quite the same way. Roddy had never
looked more wonderful. He was jacketless, but his shin was
very white and crisp and his necktie was the same color as his
eyes. He stood tall, with his back straight and every hair in
place. Lucinda's eyes ate up the sight of him.
"Hello, Cinda," he said gently and in the next instant she
quite nearly threw herself into his arms. She sobbed without
disgrace and was still sobbing when Roddy led her into his office, gently helping her get comfortable on the sofa. When
Lucinda's sobbing had subsided, he began to question her
gently, his arms still tightly around her.
"Why have you come?"
"I missed you so,"
"I missed you too. Are you back to stay?"
348
349
"If you'll still have me," Lucinda hiccuped.
"There was never any question of that, Cinda. My love for
you is constant, but if you haven't apologized to Stacy then you
need to do that."
"She wrote me twice, but I was too angry to write back."
"And how do you feel now?"
Lucinda sniffed "I still think Tanner will hurt her, but I feel
just wretched for hiding her. It was so foolish of me. Do you
think she'll forgive me?"
"I'm sure she will."
"And you, Roddy? Can you find it in your heart to forgive
me?"
"I already have."
Lucinda let herself be cuddled against his chest for a long
moment. She was no longer crying, but she felt weak and
shaky all over. Some minutes passed in silence, and then
Lucinda sat up suddenly.
"I'll go to her, Roddy. I won't write. I'll go to Winslow and
make things right."
"I think that's a wonderful idea, my darling, but the baby is
due very soon now, and I wonder if maybe you should wait:"
Lucinda's face was a mask of horror. "The baby! I'd almost
forgotten about the baby. Oh, Roddy, what have I done?"
Roddy thought that her tears were spent, but he was
wrong. She was off again on a flood of weeping that took some
time to calm. When Roddy was certain that Lucinda was ready
to listen, he told her she could write to Stacy, but that they
would not visit until sometime after the baby was born.
Lucinda agreed without argument.
There was something different about Roddy. He was taking
charge of things in a very soothing way, and Lucinda, only
too happy to be back in his care, was for the first time in her
life thrilled to let him lead.
Tanner thought that if Stacy shifted one more time in her
chair, he was going to come undone. It was obvious she was
uncomfortable, but she was not at the moment going to say
anything.
Tanner's eyes kept straying to Hettie, who was knitting in a
chair but whose eyes constantly drifted to her mistress. He
was trying to read in Hettie's face what Stacy would not admit
to. All at once, Tanner could stand no more. He stood and
nearly accused his wife.
"You're in pain, aren't you? I wish you would just tell me."
"But I'm not, Tanner." Stacy's voice was reasonable. "I'm
not feeling the best, sort of achy, but I'm not in labor."
Tanner's seat hit the chair very hard. He really thought this
was it.
"I think I would like to go to bed, however," Stacy continued.
"I know it's early, but I'm tired"
Tanner nodded and rose, trying hard not to dread the next
days or weeks. He was certain the baby was coming tonight,
but he was not excited, only anxious. This was all new for him,
and he simply wanted to get it started and over with. He knew
that Stacy wouldn't appreciate his feelings, so he kept them to
himself.
Five hours later, he wished he'd voiced his thoughts, if for
no other reason than to have them off his chest. Stacy had
fallen asleep immediately, but not Tanner. He had still been
awake at midnight and at one. At any other time he'd have
gone off and done some work, read, or even taken a walk, but
his need to be near Stacy right now put him in bed at nine
o'clock and kept him there even when all he did was stare at
the ceiling.
Tanner finally drifted off somewhere around two in the
morning, which was the cause for all sorts of confusion when
Stacy woke him at three.
"Tanner," Stacy called softly, but her husband did little
more than stir.
"Tanner, can you wake up?"
"Urn."
350
351
The response was slightly more than the first time, but not
enough.
"Tanner, I need you to get Hettie."
Her voice was louder this time, and Tanner finally stirred.
"What did you say?"
"I need Hettie."
"What do we need Hettie in here for?" His voice sounded
very crabby, and Stacy had all she could do not to laugh.
"Things are starting, and I want Hettie."
"Things? What things?"
Stacy did laugh this time, but another contraction hit and
her breath was cut off in a sharp gasp. Understanding finally
dawned, and Tanner flew out of the bed. He didn't bother with
his robe. If Stacy had been able to speak, she would have told
him to cover up for poor Hettie's sake.
The sun had been up for hours when Stacy, feeling utterly
spent, lay back against her pillows. She knew she had less than
a minute before she would need to push again, but right at the
moment, she didn't know where she would find the store.
"Is this one worse, Hettie?"
"Than Drew?"
"Yes."
"I can see you're not going to bleed as badly this time, but
the pains are all 'bout the same, I 'spect."
Stacy would have replied, but another pain was on top of
her. Tanner had been with her for most of the time, but when
he'd become shaky, Stacy had finally sent him away to eat
something. He was just coming in as the pain subsided
"I feel like I can't keep this up," she admitted softly, and
Tanner looked into her exhausted eyes with tenderness. He
thought she was the most amazing woman on earth.
"I'll be here for you."
"What if I can't do it, Tanner? What if I can't push again?"
Tanner did not need to answer because another pain
racked Stacy's body. He supported her back as she pushed.
"I see the head," Hettie cried, and new strength seemed to
pour over Stacy. She waited anxiously for the next contraction,
ready to do whatever was asked of her in order to meet this
baby.
"Here it
comes, Hettie," Stacy gasped, and the old woman
stood ready.
A long minute passed.
"One more and we'll have it," Hettie crooned, and she was
right. The next contraction hit, and the old woman cackled
with delight.
"A girl! A big, healthy girl with a head full of black hair!"
Stacy lay back and laughed weakly with relief. She wanted
to reach for the baby, but her arms felt weighted. A glance at
Tanner made her chuckle again. He was staring at the squalling
red infant in Hettie's hands as if he were in a trance.
Tanner Richardson had never seen anything so miraculous
as the birth of his daughter. She was a mess, all red and
curled up and howling at the top of her voice, but he thought
she was the most precious thing he'd ever seen.
/ love her, he thought to himself. She's my daughter, and I
love her. I love her the way I loved Drew the first time I set eyes
on him.
The magnitude of his thoughts was overwhelming. He
glanced down at Stacy, her own eyes now back on their
daughter, and thought about what she'd just given of herself.
She'd been in agony to accomplish this wonder, and now she
was smiling and talking to their baby.
"Don't cry, my darling. Mumma's here. Don't cry. May I have her, Hettie?"
"Just another minute, and she's all yours."
Hettie finished the cleanup, and after wrapping the baby in a soft warm wrap, she handed her to her mother. Stacy
crooned softly into the baby's face and after a moment, the
tears stopped. She couldn't rock her very well, but she moved
her arms just enough. Within moments, the baby was asleep.
"Would you like to hold her?"
Tanner's eyes flew to Stacy's. He'd been so intent on the
baby that he hadn't immediately realized she was speaking to
him. He shook his head.
352
353
"Another time" was all he said
"All right." Stacy watched him for a moment. "Are you
disappointed that it's not another boy?"
"Not in the least," Tanner told her. There was so much
more that he wanted to say, but none of it would come. Had
they been alone he might have tried, but Hettie's presence
along with that of three housemaids caused him to keep still.
He was suddenly very tired. Tanner opened his mouth to
tell Stacy that he was headed off to get some rest, but her eyes
were already closed, the sleeping baby still tucked in the
crook of her arm. Seeing this, Tanner made his way from the
