by Nana Malone
"No shit?"
"Zero shits here. They couldn’t believe we scooped Primetime and Dateline and hell, even the New York Times and the Post. I told them that you were the guy to bring them the kind of gritty stories they wanted."
Griffin’s gut clenched. "Except, in this particular case, it was Jaggar that got that story."
Ryan frowned. "You expect me to believe tits and ass was able to get a story like that? You think she slept with Randall to get him to give up the goods?"
"Shut the fuck up, Ryan." Griffin stared at the guy who'd been his friend for so long.
"You expect me to believe that she dug up the story? I know you hate to lose, but aren't you taking the vendetta a bit far? It's one thing to want to fuck her and see how far you can get, it's another entirely to be pussy whipped by some ass that you’re never going to have."
Griffin's gut clenched. And he unfurled his fist. "Dude, that's enough. This isn't a vendetta. She's a person and a fucking smart one at that. And I like her."
"You join the feminist movement when I wasn't looking? Or are you just so blinded by the flash of her tits in that dress?"
"Do you realize you sound like an asshole? Or maybe you can’t hear yourself?"
Ryan shrugged. "I've always been like this. You used to think I was funny."
Griffin shook his head. "Just lay off of Jaggar. You say the higher ups want to talk to me. That’s great. I’m just telling you she was responsible."
"What happened to the guy who was going to meet his father’s record at all costs?"
"He's still here. But maybe I'm a little less all about myself now that I see how hard she works."
Ryan shook his head. "When you find my friend, Griff, you let him know I'm looking for him. This guy, I don't recognize."
17
Griffin looked up over his laptop and grinned at Jaggar. She had a pen between her teeth and was tapping away furiously. The more he worked with her, the more he respected what she could do.
She looked up with a grin. "What?"
“Nothing, you're just sort of cute that’s all."
"I know. Did you call your source for the Bateman story yet? I was thinking we could also pair him with the Rodriguez story, maybe see what benefits are to their community grass roots programs. A little feel good without political intrigue and murder mystery."
"Oh, uh. Yeah. That’s a really good idea. We could continue it from week to week. I haven't called yet, but I’ll do that right now."
He should have called them last week, even before the first show aired. What the hell was wrong with him lately? Jaggar. Jaggar is what's wrong with you. He'd been so caught up in her, he'd been making these little mistakes and he needed to pull that shit together.
There was a knock at the door and he glanced up to see Ryan. He waved him in. Truth be told, he'd avoided his friend since the night of the first taping. He'd been there for all the planning meetings with the producers, but he'd avoided all one on one contact with him.
"Griffin."
"Hey man, what’s up?"
Ryan didn't bother to acknowledge Jaggar. Jaggar didn’t miss a beat. The moment Ryan’s back was turned to her, she stuck her tongue out at him and flipped him the bird. Griffin had to work very hard to school his expression.
Ryan's frown was deep. "Do you have the numbers you said you'd get for the Soma drug story we brought up earlier last week?"
"Yeah, I sent you those on Friday."
"No, you didn't."
"Hold on, let me check my sent mail." He checked and in the drafts he saw the email he was referring to. "Shit, Ryan. For some reason I didn’t send it. I apologize, I'll fix it now. There's been a lot going on."
His friend stared at him. "Are you fucking kidding me right now? What the hell is up with you lately? You're distracted, distant. You realize this story was time sensitive? If we wanted the opportunity to interview the CEO of Soma, we needed this information this morning to make a decision."
Fuck. "I said I'm sorry. You're right. I’ve been distracted. All the responsibility of the new show. I’ll step it up."
Ryan shook his head. "Step it up? I don’t think you get it. We all took a risk with this show. We were banking on you, Griffin. When that guy, the real kind of badass that will traipse into a war zone and tell human stories, and be on his shit shows up, let me know. Because, this guy? I don’t recognize him. What the fuck was so important that you couldn’t get this to me on time?"
Griffin clenched his jaw. What the hell had been so important that he'd missed that? He didn’t make mistakes like this. His gaze flickered to Jaggar, grateful that she still had her earphones in. "Like I said, I’ve been distracted. But I'll fix it. It won’t happen again."
"It had better not. Not if you want to enjoy the same trajectory you have been. Get your shit together Griffin.”
He gave him a terse nod. What could he say, Ryan had a point.
Ryan finally turned to glare at Jaggar, then inclined his head out to the stairs that led to the balcony. “Follow me.”
This couldn’t be good if Ryan needed privacy. Griffin followed him and when they reached the balcony he asked, “What is it?”
Ryan handed him a file. “This is what we’re going to use to make your girlfriend quit.”
Griffin stared at the standard profile pack they got with each new story. The subject was, Bianca Collins. “What the hell is this?”
“That is your next story and a way for you to get back on your game.”
“She’s an old movie star. She hadn’t done a movie in what, five years? Ten? How is she relevant?” Even as he waited for Ryan to answer he sent up silent prayers that Ryan didn't know who she was. Hey Buddha, God, Allah, Whoever is up there, please don't let him—
“She’s relevant to us because tits and ass got it from her mama.” He tapped the folder. “They even look alike right? Well, anyway, a former employee is writing an autobiography on her. Apparently, America’s sexy sweetheart was not exactly mother of the year. More like Mommy Dearest. Miss Collins wants to refute the book with her own. And we’re going to give her a big old platform.”
“You can’t be serious.” He didn’t know all that had happened between Jaggar and her mother, but he did know that if they did this, it would hurt her. Maybe enough for her to quit. Certainly enough for her to leave him. His gut squeezed at the idea. “A story on her mother? That will humiltiate her.”
“Yeah well, you have to have thick skin to work in news. She’ll need to get on board or she won’t be here. I told you I’d fix it for you.”
“Jesus, Ryan. I told you not to.”
“Yeah well, you don't know what’s best for you. I do. And given you’re fuck ups lately, I’d get with the program. This story is happening. This is how you make up for screwing up. This is how you keep yourself top dog. You don't do it, someone else will. And there goes your show. You think about that while you ponder your soft spot for that ass downstairs. Speaking of ass, you think she likes that?” Ryan winked before turning to take the stairs.
Rage flooded over him in waves. His hands curled into fists as a protective possessive need overtook him. He could kill him. He would kill him. But then reason prevailed. He’s your boss. And this is a story. This is the job. The job he’d specifically asked for. He had to do it. At least for now. And maybe just maybe he could find a way to protect Jaggar in the process.
18
As much as Griffin hated to admit it, Ryan had a point, asshole though he may be about it. Griffin had been distracted. He had been spending a lot of time with Jaggar and he was slipping on little shit. But it was piling up. Before he'd met her, he'd been a fucking perfectionist. Before Jaggar, he'd had the perfect trajectory. He was the wonder kid.
And now because he couldn’t seem to keep his dick under control around her, his perfect record was slipping. He had to right that shit no matter what, otherwise Ryan was right.
And that's what he'd been doing. At least that was the lie h
e'd been telling himself since he'd been avoiding her. Or, not so much avoiding her as focusing on nothing else but work.
The knock on his apartment door yanked him out of his thoughts. He checked the clock and it was eight, so not too late. When he yanked the door open, Jaggar stood on the other side of the door in a cream colored trench and a pair of stilettos high enough to make him drool. Hell.
She gave him her usual sunny smile. "Hi."
He cleared his throat as he let her in reluctantly. He wanted to see her. But he also needed to work.
"Uh, hey, what’s going on?" He stepped aside to let her in.
She frowned and cocked her head. "Why aren’t you happy to see me? This doesn’t look like happiness to see me."
Damn. He pulled her close and brushed his lips over hers. "Of course I'm happy to see you. I’m always so damn happy to see you. You can feel how happy I am to see you." Sure enough, his cock was at the ready, prepared for any opportunity to slide into it’s favorite place on the planet.
"But?" she prompted.
"But, I totally forgot we were supposed to Netflix and chill tonight. And Ryan has been riding me hard."
She pursed her lips. "Isn't that supposed to be my job?"
Griffin laughed. She was so good at that. Just getting him to loosen up and not take himself so seriously. "Yes, and you do that very well."
"I get it. You have work. I can bust out my laptop and we can work together."
He didn't dare tell her the real reason, that Ryan wanted him to betray her to prove his loyalty. That an interview with her mother was weighing on him. That he had no idea how to tell her what he was doing.
He had to tell her. He couldn't let her be surprised, and at the end of the day, there was no way in hell he was going to spring it on her. He would tell her. He just had to figure out how to do that. "I'm sorry. I've been so out of it lately. I don’t know what's wrong with me."
A frown marred her forehead. "Is something going on? Do you need to talk?"
Yes. Yes, he needed to talk to her, to tell her the shit he was walking around in. "No. I'm good. I just need to focus tonight. If that’s okay. I'm not good company right now."
"Of course. You just have to tell me that. I get it. I of all people totally get it. You do what you have to do and we'll talk tomorrow. I mean, I can’t guarantee that I'm not going to DVR cheat on you for our shows, but hey, that’s the price you pay."
She gave him an impish grin and he kissed her again. Shit he loved her. Damn it. Where had that come from? It was way too early for love. He swallowed hard. "I hear you. And it's a consequence I accept readily."
And because being with her settled the roiling emotion in his gut, he kissed her again, sliding his tongue between her lips and taking advantage. He missed her. She’d been working on something else for the last week and he'd barely seen her.
She moaned and molded her body against his. Her moan filled his head with the injection of lust and need he knew he wouldn’t shake for hours. But then she pulled back. "You, sir, are too good at that. If you want to work, I need to go. Or I'll distract you."
Reluctantly, he let her go. This wasn't something he wanted to do. But it was something he needed to do. His job hung in the balance. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"
“Okay.” Her smile was sweet, and then her gaze flickered to the paused television screen. “You're watching one of my mother’s movies?”
Fuck. “Background while I worked. I was curious.” The lie tasted bitter on his tongue. “She’s a good actress.”
She shook her head. Shadows darkening the light in her eyes. “If only she was a half decent human being.”
He frowned. “You don't talk about it. About her. I know nothing except what I see in the movies.”
“Yeah well. How does one say my mother was verbally abusive and blamed me for my father leaving? It’s her favorite story to tell. That I was too much work. And so he left.”
“Shit. I’m sorry.”
She put up her hand. “No, it’s fine. I guess we still have a lot to talk about.”
“I don't want to force you.”
“Yeah, well. It’s part of being in a relationship. The sharing is caring stuff.”
He laughed, despite the pit in his belly. “I’m here if you want to share anything.”
She nodded. “Okay, I hear you, and I’ll take you up on that. But first, you work. We have plenty of time to talk.”
Yeah, but was she going to want to talk to him after she learned everything? He kissed her again. “I’ll see you later.”
The moment she was gone, he pulled out his laptop. He had work to do.
19
Something was wrong. Jaggar could feel it. Griffin was distant and seemed to be working on a lot of side projects for Ryan. She knew the two of them were friends and she didn’t want to get in the middle of that crazy pile of shit. She wasn’t going to bust up that situation. But for two friends, the situation hardly seemed friendly. Every time Ryan popped into their shared office, Griffin was short with him and they vanished to the balcony to talk.
But every time she asked Griffin about it, he told her nothing and closed up. She knew it had to be some story, but he wasn’t talking. At all. And he wasn't kissing either. They'd had dinner last night, but he'd run off and hadn’t gone home with her, saying he was tired. She recognized the signs, but she didn’t want to believe it, particularly because everything felt so different with him. Felt easier. But maybe she was wrong. He was getting ready to bolt.
She finished up the segment she was doing on an adoption case. She'd already completed the interviews; she just had to finish her notes to the segment producer. Griffin walked in and froze when he saw her. "Oh, hey. I thought you'd be gone already."
Her stomach clenched. "No. Not exactly like I have some banging life at home. Just as easy to work here."
"Right." He studied her for a long moment as if he wanted to say something, but then he shut his mouth. His gaze was hot, greedy, but his lips were in a firm thin line. Like he wanted to be anywhere but here.
Get it over with, Jaggar. No point in crying about it. The faster you do it, the sooner it'll be done. "Listen, can I talk to you for a minute?"
He sighed and headed straight for his desk. "You know, Jaggar, this isn’t the best time."
She pushed herself up to standing. If they were going to do this, she needed all the courage and leverage she could muster. "Yeah, well, it's never the best time lately. We said we were going to be adults about this but right now, you haven’t been. You've been distant and uncommunicative. You won’t talk to me. You won’t touch me. You avoid me."
He ran his hand through his hair and tossed his laptop on his chair. "Jaggar. I am begging you, please don’t do this. I know. It's been a shitty few weeks, but just hang tight with me and I'll be able to explain it later."
She shook her head. "Explain what? I mean, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with you right now. You act like I've got the plague, but you don’t want me breaking up with you. Tell me. What? What did I do? Tell me something. You can’t just expect me to hang around chasing you, begging you to love me. I've done that before and it doesn’t really work for me."
He winced. "Jaggar, stop."
"No." He was treating her like her mother treated her, dangling her on the edge wondering if he cared about her. "I can’t do this, Griffin. I can’t feel like I’m begging you to care about me. I’ve had too much of that in my life already."
He stepped forward and wrapped his hands around her biceps. Even though his face was tortured, his hands were oh-so-gentle. His thumbs caressed her skin and he whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about all of it."
"I don’t understand."
"I know. Just please don’t give up on me. Not yet. I just need a little time." He kissed her deep and Jaggar’s body melted like it always did. He pulled back slightly and whispered, "Please. Give me a chance and you'll see. "
"See what?"
"How
much I fucking love you."
20
Griffin's hands clenched on Jaggar's waist. Fuck, there was no way he was letting her go. He fucking loved her. He wasn’t even sure how the hell that had happened. One minute she was his rival, the next she was the woman he wanted to spend all his time with. But he couldn’t keep lying to her. He was terrified of losing her, but he wasn’t going to lie to her any more. "I love you."
Jaggar's dark eyes focused in on his. "Griffin I—"
He shook his head. "No. Don't. I can’t hear you say it."
She frowned. "You can say it, but I can’t?" She reached up and touched his face. "Come on, just tell me what the hell is going on? And for the record, I love—"
The door to their combined office opened. "Well, isn’t this cozy. Certainly explains why you've been having a fucking hard time doing your job."
Griffin leaned his head down, placing his forehead against hers. "I am so sorry." He whispered to her. Then he spoke louder. "I know what you want, Ryan, I'll be out in a fucking minute."
When Ryan walked out, Jaggar stared at him. "Let me guess, this is part of what you can't tell me?"
"Nah, fuck him. I'll tell you everything. But give me a few minutes to talk to him okay?"
She nodded. "I'll head down to advertising to grab some stuff. Meet you there?"
"Yeah." His gut churned. He was about to blow up his career.
He took the back steps to the balcony and found Ryan leaning up against the rail. "How fucking long, Griff?"
Griffin shook his head as he joined him. "Not your business."
"What are you talking about? I’m your boss. This is an HR issue."
"Bullshit. This has nothing to do with HR. You're just pissed that I'm with her."
Ryan blinked at him. "The fuck? You’re together? What, the two of you brunch and shit?"
"Take it easy, Ryan. My relationship with Jaggar has nothing to do with you. We clicked and that was that. You don’t even factor in to my decision. This isn’t your business and frankly your obsessive shit with her is fucking getting old. I'm done with it.”
