Desperately Inn Love with the Duchess: A Historical Regency Romance Novel

by Patricia Haverton

  She wished she could do more. At that moment, all she wanted was to scoop him up in her arms and run out of the house with him to safety. Never had her lack of sight been so inconvenient and frightening.

  Straightening up, Aurelia fixed her dress. She was on the last of her nerves, barely holding it together. But I have to. For Timmy. She gasped for breath, but only inhaled smoke. Coughing, she realized her mistake. She had to pause as her lungs struggled. Certainly a fine lady raised properly would have handled this situation better, she thought to herself. She would better care for her family and know how to protect them.

  But this was all she had. And she wanted to keep what she had. Gripping the child tightly by the shoulders, she tried to keep her voice light and calm. “Lead me, Timmy. We must hurry.”

  He took her other open hand and then a slow step forward. It was a game they had played before, but quieter now and with higher stakes. There was no time for giggling. Neither of them said a word as they panted for breath.

  Aurelia realized the room was growing more stuffy with every step. She could feel the smoke billowing across her face. It was getting hard to breathe.

  Timmy moved forward, slowly but surely with each successful step, they started across the room. He led them around what must have been the chair and toward the exit. She could tell when they were close because of the heat.

  Then she realized why the room was so horribly stuffy. The door to the room was closed. Timmy put her hand out to it for her to turn the knob, but it wouldn’t budge. Aurelia’s heart sunk. Her family’s old house was still in good repair. She had been there only months ago. There was no reason for it not to open.

  Panic clenched her soul as she held Timmy’s hand tightly in hers. Aurelia turned to look over her shoulder, though she knew she saw nothing. It was all so dark. Everything felt so helpless. She reached up to feel the door, her fingers spread out as if to find some way to free them.

  “Help!” She cried out. “Hello? Please! Help us!”

  There was smoke clinging to her lungs as she shouted. As she gasped for more breath to call out for help for them, she heard banging on the other side of the door.

  Aurelia’s heart stopped. Covering Timmy’s hand in both of hers, they both gingerly took a step back as there was another thud. Then a third. After that, she flinched as she heard a crash in front of her, frightened of what it could have been.

  “Timmy!” Donovan’s hoarse voice called out. “Aurelia!”

  Tears of relief flooded down her face. The child left her grasp as she felt the presence of her husband there. She put out a hand before her, feeling Donovan’s face. He was breathing hard and there was a stiffness to his jaw.

  “I’m getting you two out of here now,” he informed her.

  With that announcement, the Duke scooped her up in his arms along with his son.

  Aurelia’s heart hammered as she curled in close against his chest as she heard the flames crackling all around them. Only then did she feel hope inside her soul that they might get out safely. The fire must have been growing all this time. She wondered how much it would ultimately consume.

  As her husband carried them toward safety, she wondered if this fire would bring her another loss like the last one had. Flames had taken so much from her in the past.

  Chapter 1

  March 10, 1814

  There was a blackcap bird singing in the nearby apple trees.

  Jocelyn and Bridget were sitting nearby while arguing about Mrs. Poppersby, hardly noticing the nature around them. The two of them rarely paid attention to the birds, of course. They liked to hear their own voices more than anything else. Most folks were like that.

  Sitting on a bench of her own, Aurelia wondered which tree the bird was singing in and if the bird liked that tree the most.

  Birds made for pleasant music to the young woman who used her ears to enjoy most of the world around her. Over the years, she had attuned them to learn the calls of different birds, different wagons, and all sorts of creatures. But birds were her favorite. They had always struck her as a cheerful sort of creature.

  In her hands, she played with a rose that Bridget, her companion, had cut for her. The petals were as thick as they were soft. She closed her eyes as she tried to imagine how they might look. Her companion had mentioned this one was a soft pink, the color of an early sunrise.

  She had lost her sight over twenty years ago. After living a life without her eyes for much longer than she had used them, Aurelia had adapted to her sightless lifestyle in exile on her family’s property. Yet there were some days where she wished she could still see the blue sky, an intricate brocade, or the pink of a lovely rose.

  “If you had wanted to become the housekeeper, you could have had the role, I’m certain,” Bridget was teasing Jocelyn. “You had only to write and ask the Duke.”

  “What?” Jocelyn squawked rather loudly. “And say what, exactly? ‘Sir Harold Blackmore, I’m only a lady’s maid but I’d like to become your head housekeeper for your Greenfair Estate’? I think not!” An embarrassed laugh bubbled out of her. “I could just as easily accept the role as you could.”

  Aurelia smiled as she listened to her friends. A blackcap was more musically inclined, but Bridget and Jocelyn could always make her laugh.

  The three of them had been together for several years now. It was just them together at Greenfair with the rest of her father’s household. They passed their days in the garden, the music room, and playing games. She liked how quiet and amiable it was for all of them. It allowed everyone on the staff to shine in their own manner.

  It was Bridget’s turn for melodrama. She was usually the instigator of such activity. “But of course I could. After all, I have a close connection with his daughter, you see. I guide her and could just as easily guide the entire household.”

  “Like when I was seven and you were mad at me?” Aurelia asked pointedly with her chin raised, speaking up at last.

  Usually she let her two companions squabble, for it was more entertaining to listen than to participate. But the ability to slide in the occasional comment to overturn their silly little conversations gave her a delight like a newly wrapped Christmas gift. There wasn’t much she could do while she just sat there.

  She could feel them turning to look at her. They always kept her in their sight, and she could always sense their presence. It was reassuring to know that she was never alone.

  Aurelia blinked as she tried to imagine their expressions.

  With the sun shining, the world wasn’t completely black to her. It was a soft shade of yellow with shadows where she assumed there were trees and the estate nearby. Everything was a blur that merged with each movement. When the accident happened, this used to give her a headache and make her dizzy. But it was something that she had grown used to over the years.

  When they were children, Bridget would lead her around the house in circles with nowhere to go whenever they were upset at one another.

  “I wouldn’t, I’m not,” Bridget stammered as she looked for an excuse.

  The only problem Aurelia had when she inserted herself into her companions’ conversations and silly squabbles was that even now, after all these years, they tended to take her seriously.

  She was quiet most of the time so they always forgot she was the one tempting them to sneak out to the kitchens late at night for muffins or to play games in the dark around the house after everyone had gone to sleep.

  Her soft-mannered way of speaking as a Duke’s daughter had allowed her to be raised in grace, but also occasionally hindered her relationship with her friends who forgot that she enjoyed a good jest as well as anyone else.

  Aurelia smiled. “Exactly.”

  Upon realizing that she didn’t mean anything by her words, the other two girls giggled. There was the sound of footsteps across the cobblestones and then Aurelia found her maid and her guiding companion on either side of her. She stiffened in surprise before relaxing beside them.

/>   “What do you think?” Jocelyn proposed to her with a note of hesitation in her voice. “With Mrs. Poppersby retiring, a new housekeeper must be found. It’s been over ten years since anyone retired from Greenfair. I think your father would rather promote someone who is already here, would he not?”

  The question sounded innocent enough. Aurelia considered answering the question. As the daughter of a duke, she had no reason to respond to either of these women, even if she considered them her friends.

  Nobody came or left the Greenfair Estate.

  Unless they were part of the family or part of the household, there was no reason for someone to step foot on the property. No one came to visit and no one left permanently until they retired, like Mrs. Poppersby had requested to do just last month.

  If they were losing someone on the staff, it meant someone new had to come. The very thought made Aurelia’s stomach knot up. She would never share such a confession, but after all this time, she liked her quiet lifestyle. Whether someone called it exile, privacy, or another matter, it was her life.

  “I don’t quite know,” Aurelia claimed at last. “But Father arrives today and is here to meet someone. Whether they take Mrs. Poppersby’s position or another’s, I’m not certain.”

  No one could be employed on the estate unless her father personally vetted them. He went through every rule with them carefully and explained the strictures in detail. It was a delicate matter, he had claimed. He never explained why, but everyone knew it was because of her. His blind daughter. Even though he had not lived there in two decades, it was still his property and she was still his daughter. He might not live here or care for her, but he would make sure that we are both cared for.

  She supposed that would have to be good enough.

  “I’m certain it will be Penelope,” Bridget groaned as she interrupted Aurelia’s thoughts. The bench rocked slightly as she shifted in annoyance. “I know it. Then she’ll insist on being called Miss Tyler and I’ll never eat biscuits at midnight again.”

  Jocelyn’s knees knocked against Aurelia’s. “Certainly not. She’s never worked a day in the kitchen. The Duke would certainly want someone trained in the kitchen and the house. He’ll promote Patricia.”

  “Probably Penelope.”

  There was a sound in the street that caught Aurelia’s ears. Turning away from the silly argument, she leaned forward to see what that sound might be. She stopped breathing and put her hands over those of her friends to stop them from talking. They both knew her well enough to obey immediately.

  The blackcap was gone. In its place was the sound of a squeaky wheel rolling over a dirt road.

  “What is it?” Jocelyn asked her impatiently after a quiet minute.

  “Jocelyn,” Bridget hissed in annoyance.

  “Father’s here.” Aurelia stood up. She inhaled deeply as she started to straighten her dress. Hopefully, it had not gathered much dust or dirt. Beside her, the other two women did the same and ran their hands gently over her dress as well to be of service. “Well?”

  The time for games was over. Aurelia was the gentle one in their party, the silent leader as the lady of the house, and her companions were quick to follow after her actions.

  “Let us go to greet him,” Jocelyn announced graciously.

  A knot started to form in Aurelia’s stomach. It tightened as she accepted Bridget’s arm and went with her two friends toward the edge of the garden. As they walked, she could hear the carriage drawing closer.

  It arrived in front of the house. She remembered receiving his letter just last week. He didn’t write very often. But Mrs. Poppersby had announced her intention to retire, so action had to be taken. She had a letter written to her father and he had responded that he would be arriving to handle the matter within the fortnight.

  Four months ago would have been the last time she’d seen him, when he wanted to ensure that the renovation for the stables had been properly completed.

  But now he was there for the next two nights. She wondered how busy he would be. Aurelia had supervised the menu for the evening and ensured his favorite room was prepared for him. In case he cared for some leisurely activity, she had practiced a few of his favorite songs on the pianoforte as well. Though she knew better than to expect it, she was dearly hoping they might even have time for an afternoon walk around the estate.

  She heard as the carriage rolled to a stop. The footman climbed down and opened the door.

  Aurelia stepped forward as she heard familiar footsteps across the gravel. The knot in her stomach turned into a thicker tangle as her eyes searched the sky for him, knowing she would never see his face.

  All she knew was the young father he had been when he still used to help her slide down the banister. That was a lifetime ago and he had changed in many ways since that time. She wondered how he had aged through the years.

  “Welcome, Father,” she said loudly upon hearing him.

  “There you are,” he called out.

  “He’s waving,” Bridget whispered in her ear. “And he’s turning back. He’s looking at the carriage. There’s something still in there.”

  Jocelyn gulped loudly. “Oh dear.”

  While Bridget was the braver of her friends, Jocelyn was only outspoken when the three of them were together. Otherwise, her maid was quiet and collected. She had been with Aurelia since they were young, for Jocelyn’s mother had been maid to Aurelia’s mother before her early passing. When Jocelyn came of age to work, she was warmly welcomed back to Greenfair.

  Aurelia opened her mouth to ask what was happening, but then she heard it.

  The first time she had heard Lorena Morrisey’s voice, she had been hardly eight years old. Her father had brought home a new bride two years after his first one had passed away in the accident. Lorena had been only eighteen herself at the time, but she had enchanted the older man and married him quickly wherewith a new heir was produced. In all their years as a family, there had never been time for the women to bond.

  “It’s still standing, is it?” the woman asked distastefully.

  Aurelia had never seen her stepmother’s face, but she used to imagine how hideous it must be with her high-pitched voice, stale perfume, and bitter attitude for never giving anyone a fair chance. Just hearing the woman’s footsteps toward the mansion made her cringe.

  “I’ve never been more relieved to live in London. I’ve never seen anything so ghastly in all my life,” another voice announced. This one stemmed from Lorena’s son and Aurelia’s half-brother, Nathan.

  “Ah.” That was all she could manage before her father called her over to greet them at the door.

  Bridget was there to take her hand and lead her around the rose bushes.

  Jocelyn followed closely behind. The three young women made it to the front of the house, where Bridget helped Aurelia guide everyone inside. It was her role to act as Aurelia’s eyes, for the Blackmore family liked to pretend she did not exist.

  Her father spoke before she could. “Thank you, child. I have business to attend to, so I’ll be in my study for the rest of the day. I shall see you all for dinner. Aurelia, make certain you join us in a timely fashion. I have news to discuss with you.”

  “Of course, Father,” she said, wondering what news this could include.

  His footsteps echoing in the hallway told her that he was already moving away. She didn’t have time to ask him and would have to wait until supper. Just as she was about to turn to Bridget and Jocelyn to suggest visiting the music room, she paused.

  By the smell of a familiar stale perfume and old water, Aurelia knew that her stepmother and brother were still nearby. She had nearly forgotten her other guests.

  “Welcome to Greenfair,” she told them, hoping she was looking in their general direction. She clasped her hands behind her back for they always made her anxious. “Will the two of you also be joining us for supper, or would you like it brought to your rooms?”

  That’s when she realized she didn�
�t have rooms prepared for them. She would need to have something done about that immediately. Mrs. Poppersby wasn’t retired yet and still had plenty of work on her hands.

  “Our rooms?” Nathan’s voice had deepened since they had last visited. “What do you think we are, naughty little children who must be locked away?”

  She didn’t know how to answer that question. Aurelia was relieved knowing she didn’t need to worry about spending time with them often. Typically, they visited once every other year when they claimed they weren’t too busy with their London lifestyle.

  His mother chuckled alongside him. “You poor dear, knowing nothing about children. Or supper, it would seem. You’re so fortunate to have a household that takes care of you. Oh, if only I could trust my staff enough to manage all of my needs. Perhaps I should offer you recommendations? It sounds as if you will need them.”

  It sounded like there was a jest within their words that she didn’t understand. Aurelia forced a smile upon her face. “I will be certain to have enough places at supper for the two of you, then.”

  “Two of us? How lovely. I’m sure you’re not used to that, are you?” Lorena sighed loudly. “Well, I suppose that had best change soon.”

  Aurelia hesitated. “Pardon?”

  Any confidence she had felt back in the garden had since vanished. This was her home, but she stopped acting as the lady of the house once her stepmother arrived on the property. She had always hated that, but there was nothing she could do about it.

  She had been raised to not be a passionate person. It was important to hold in her feelings and to always remain composed. For that reason, her anger and her frustration showed itself as nerves as her hands shook. It made her wish she could shove the two of them right out the door and make them never come back.

  They had never respected this house nor cared for it. Thus, they had no right to be there. And now, they spoke in riddles around her as though she were a simple child. Aurelia tried to rein in her passion but there was bitter distaste on her tongue for the family before her as she forced herself to stay put before them.