“You’re wrong. I would never do that,” I say strongly. “I may be afraid of relationships, but I’m not someone who makes rash decisions. This wasn’t a decision I made only because I saw you with him. I’d already been thinking about what an idiot I was being when I saw you two at dinner.”
She looks less irritated but still not convinced. She doesn’t trust me, when I’ve been nothing but 100 percent honest with her from day one about how I feel about relationships. For her to doubt my sincerity right now irritates the shit out of me.
“Look, I appreciate you care about me and Gracie, I really do. But I think you are confusing your feelings for me with being attracted to someone you can’t have.”
I almost argue with her. My mouth opens and closes several times to retort, but I know this conversation is not helping her understand what I need her to understand. Maybe this was a bad idea. She’s too worked up to have this conversation anymore. She’s mad.
After racking my brain for several quiet minutes, I move from the stool and walk slowly to her. She moves back, stopping when she’s pressed against the counter. I need her to let go of some of her anger, and the only way I can think of is to kiss the hell out of her. Both times I’ve kissed her, she’s turned into a puddle in my arms.
When my hands are buried in the back of her hair, making her mouth open in a gasp, I waste no time sealing my lips over hers. Her body instantly tenses, her hands coming to my chest, slightly pushing me away. It only takes a few seconds before she relaxes into my hold. When I can feel the tension release completely from her body, I pull away, placing a few tender nibbles to her bottom lip before watching her eyes open slowly. They’re filled with lust, and I almost hate I’m going to have to back away from her. I’d give anything to have her under me. But we aren’t there yet, and I won’t chance her hating me afterward.
“Promise me when the games are over and the craziness has settled, you won’t be married to the dickhead, and you’ll give me a chance to prove to you I’m serious.”
The anger that was in her stare a few minutes ago has transformed into a look of skepticism instead.
“I’m not jumping into anything with anybody. But I’m not going to lie to you and tell you I won’t go out with him again. His name is Malcolm, by the way. He’s a good guy, so stop calling him a dickhead.”
The growl that comes out of me even surprises me. “Please keep an open mind about us dating. I get you don’t believe I’m fully serious about this, but I’m going to prove it to you. You’ll see.” I place another tender kiss to her lips, but this time she doesn’t melt into it. She returns it chastely and pulls back.
“I’ll keep an open mind,” she whispers. I place another quick kiss to her lips before grabbing my glass, downing the rest of it, and placing it in the sink.
She heads for the entryway with me, and I feel a little less unsettled about leaving when she gives me a genuine smile before allowing me to kiss her cheek one last time.
“I mean it, Layne. Please don’t count me out yet. Let me try.”
“I will. Now go win the World Series. We’ll talk when things settle down.”
I remain silent, unsure of what else to say. I laid my feelings out there, and she didn’t tell me to fuck off, so I guess it’s a step in the right direction.
When I’m almost to my car, I turn back to the house and see she’s standing on the front porch watching me. She waves before turning and going inside.
That was painful, and she’s going to make me work for it. The thing is, I expect her to. She’s an amazing woman, and just handing her heart away is not something she’ll do. She’s smart and determined, and the ache in my stomach at the thought of her finding happiness with someone other than me is killing me. My dad was right.
Malcolm might be a nice guy, but does he make her feel like I do? I think not.
By the time I get home, I’ve orchestrated a plan. A good one that will show her how serious I am.
Layne
WHEN THE LOCK clicks into place, I turn my back to the door and slide down it.
Did that really just happen?
Did Bryant Nash tell me he’s into me and wants to date me? Is there a connection? Hell yes there is. But for him, the guy who doesn’t do relationships, to change his thoughts, for me, is hard to swallow.
I’m a nobody. A single mom who owns a bar. I’m not glamorous. I wear jeans and T-shirts almost every day. I own one dress, and I wear it to everything requiring fancy clothes. He’s a Major League ball player. He’s hooked up with super models and actresses…
Why me?
Pulling myself from the floor, I make my way back into the kitchen and rinse our glasses, placing them in the dishwasher.
My life is normal.
Do I want to bring Bryant’s crazy life into mine? Yeah. I think I do. But I’d be lying if I said I’m not scared he’s going to break my heart. Like “rip it out, throw it on the floor, and jump up and down on it” kind of break.
I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything that happened with Gracie. Although she’s getting stronger every day, I’m still focused on her getting better. Leaving her with Garrett yesterday afternoon almost killed me. I almost asked if I could stay the night at their house so I could be near her.
As I expected, Gracie was ecstatic when she found out she was going to be a big sister. She had happily burst into tears and then flung herself at Chrissy. All she talks about now is getting ready for her new sibling. As happy as I am for them, the selfish part of me is still having a little bit of a hard time that they are getting their happily ever after and I’m still alone.
I can change that though.
The question is, do I want to change it with a man who has a huge heart, makes mine flutter and my insides clench, but who will be gone a lot for work and could break my heart in a huge way? Or do I want to change it with a man who is safe, kind, has an amazing job helping people, one that doesn’t require him to be out of town for weeks at a time, but that doesn’t quite make me feel the electricity like Bryant does?
“HI, MAMA,” GRACIE calls out from Garrett’s front door as I make my way to her.
“Hey, baby girl,” I reply, pulling her into a hug the moment I’m within reach.
“You’re squishing me,” she squeals through my embrace, wiggling around trying to free herself.
“Well, I missed you.”
My eight—going on eighteen—year-old rolls her eyes and replies smartly, “You saw me yesterday, Mama.” Her giggles echo through the house as we walk into the entryway of Garrett’s house.
It’s always made me feel weird to be in his house, but I’ll admit over the past few months, since I met Bryant actually, it has gotten easier.
“We’re in the living room,” Chrissy hollers.
Heading to them, Gracie laces her fingers through mine, swinging our arms back and forth as we walk. Her smile makes a lump lodge in my throat. A few days ago, I was terrified of losing her, and here she is, bouncing around like nothing happened.
“Hey, guys,” I announce as we breach the living room.
Chrissy hugs me quickly, ushering me to sit. Our relationship has really become so much more since Gracie got hurt.
“Gracie, why don’t you run upstairs and play with the new game you and Chrissy bought today. We need to talk to your mom real quick,” Garrett says in what I call his “dad tone.”
My eyes swing to Chrissy’s, but she is looking at Garrett, not giving anything about what they want to talk to me about away.
“Cool!” Gracie runs for her room, the one I know is covered in all things pink and sports. They really do make her feel like she has two complete homes. Not just a room at her dad’s house.
“All right. What’s going on? I mean, I already know you’re getting married and are pregnant. What else could there possibly be?” I joke.
Garrett’s smile is ridiculous.
“Did you watch the interviews they did with the Smoke players today
?” Garrett asks with a shit-eating grin on his face.
“Um, no. I did some paperwork for the bar, went to the gym, then grocery shopping. Actually, I don’t think I even turned the TV on today. Why?”
The smile that is plastered on Garrett’s face spreads even further, which doesn’t seem possible.
“Well, I recorded it, because I thought you might want to see if it you hadn’t.”
He reaches for the remote on the table as my phone chimes. Garrett holds the remote in his hand, watching me as he turns the TV on.
I pull the text up that came in and my hackles immediately come up.
Bryant: Did you see the interview? :)
My eyes swing to Garrett’s, and he motions toward the screen.
When I see the frozen face of Bryant on the screen, my stomach clenches. How does seeing him on TV do that?
“Mr. Nash, tell us how the shoulder is holding up as we near the first game of the World Series.”
“It’s doing great,” Bryant replies, his signature smirk firmly in place.
“That’s good to hear. There has been some speculation that you’ll be sitting out the first game with the hit you took from Samuelson last week.”
“Nope, I’m right as rain. My surgeons were amazing and my shoulder is holding strong.”
I know he’s so full of shit, but he doesn’t want to give the other team any ammunition. If they know he has a weak spot, they’ll go after it.
“Baseball aside for a moment, rumor has it you are officially off the market.”
My attention snaps back to the TV.
“Not a rumor, John. Totally true.”
The Slam smirk is on full display, looking directly at the camera, he winks. That smug bastard. I can’t even remotely help the stupid smile that covers my face, and when I hear Chrissy giggle, my head snaps toward her.
“I told you he was talking about our Layne!” she squeals. The smile that’s taken over my face may be on the creepy side.
“Well, tell us about the lucky lady.”
My heart hammers in my chest. Is he going to say my name?
“Oh no. I’m keeping her to myself. She knows who she is. That’s all that matters.”
I know that look. He’s looking at the camera the way he looked at me right before he’s kissed me. That sultry smartass smirk.
“Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Bryant “Slam” Nash is off the market, and I think I hear hearts breaking all over the world tonight.”
Even though the video has stopped, and I can feel Garrett and Chrissy looking at me, I can’t tear my eyes away from the screen that is paused with his face on it.
“Something you wanna tell us?” Garrett asks, a smirk on his face.
I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything that’s happened in the past week. I don’t really know how to tell other people about it when I’m not quite sure what is happening myself.
“We have agreed to date.” There. That is true but not too much.
“Layne!” Chrissy screeches, causing me to cringe. “You’re dating a Major League Baseball player!”
“We’re dating, not getting married, Chrissy, calm down,” I whisper-shout. The last thing I need is for Gracie to hear her.
“I know, but it’s so exciting. I’m so happy for you,” she chokes out, grabbing my hands and pulling me to her.
“All right, let’s not go overboard. We may date for two weeks and realize we hate each other. You’re making way too much out of this.”
Just in time to save me from this conversation, Gracie comes tearing down the stairs.
“Mama, can we go? I remembered earlier I promised Odie I’d watch the new episode of Gravity Falls with him.”
“Her. Odie is a girl, Gracie,” Garrett laughs out.
“I know. Her. I promised her.”
“All right, kiddo. Grab your bag. We’re out.”
As she once again disappears up the stairs, Garrett turns his attention to me. “Are you going to tell her?”
“Not yet,” I reply quickly. “We’ve literally been on one date. Weeks ago. This could be nothing. I don’t want to introduce them and then him disappear because things didn’t work out. She has enough to deal with in our crazy lives.”
They both nod, and it makes me feel better they understand why I’m not telling Gracie yet.
Seconds later, she bounds down the stairs with her backpack.
“Let’s go, Mama!” she screeches. “I promised Odie.”
“All right, baby girl. Let’s go.” I usher her toward the front door, both Garrett and Chrissy following us to give goodbye hugs.
“I’ll see you tomorrow after school, sweetie,” Garrett tells Gracie as he hugs her tight.
Tasha is sick and Candi’s mom is having surgery, so I’m picking up an extra shift tomorrow night. I had no other option.
“Okay, Daddy. Love you,” she yells as she bolts for my car.
“Thanks again, you guys.”
“It’s never an inconvenience for her to come here. Anytime,” Chrissy responds before Garrett has a chance to.
I don’t reply. I don’t need to. They’re right. Our relationship, all three of us, may not be the norm for most, but it is perfect for us.
“We’ll see you tomorrow.”
Making our way out to my car, my phone buzzes in my pocket before we make it. I still haven’t responded to Bryant’s text about the interview, so it’s probably him. It can wait till I get home and get Gracie in bed. I’ve missed her, so we need to catch up.
Gracie fills me in on her day with her dad and Chrissy. They went to the zoo and walked around for hours. She’s tired and needs a good solid night of sleep before school tomorrow.
Before we even make it to the house, Gracie is passed out in the back seat. After pulling my car into the driveway, I take a minute to check my phone because she needs to get into a deep sleep before I try to move her. It’s almost her bedtime anyway, so I’ll carry her straight to bed, a feat that is getting harder and harder the bigger she gets.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I can’t help the smile that takes over my face when I see the texts from Bryant, followed quickly by a sinking feeling in my stomach when I see another text from Malcolm.
Bryant: Why aren’t you responding? Did you marry the dickhead and run away together?
I assume he wouldn’t be texting me and asking about in the interview if he hadn’t been talking about me. Why would he text me if it was someone else that took him off the market? The thought that he announced to the world that he was dating someone exclusively, me, makes my stomach do that stupid girly fluttery thing again.
Malcolm: Good evening, beautiful. Would you be interested in dinner tomorrow night?
I really like Malcolm. He’s a great guy, he’s gorgeous, we get along well and seem to have a lot of common interests. But the feeling in my stomach tells me he is not the guy for me, and I’d be an asshole if I kept stringing him along.
Even if things don’t work out with Bryant, I’d rather be alone than to force a relationship with someone I’m not crazy about. He deserves more than that. I deserve more than that.
After getting Gracie into bed, I pour myself a glass of wine and head to my room to text them both back.
Malcolm first. I need to get this over with. Honesty is the best policy, right?
Me: There really is no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to throw it out there. I had a really great time with you, and you’re a really great guy, but I’d be lying by omission if I didn’t tell you I’m dating someone else.
I press Send before I can talk myself out of it. We deserve better than second best and us together would be second best. I’m doing the right thing.
I’m considering a smartass response to Bryant’s text when my phone chimes.
Malcolm: I see. Is he aware you went on a date with me as well?
So polite.
Me: Yes, he knows. I want to be completely honest with you. I fee
l like I’d be stringing you along if we continued to go out.
I set my phone down, take a sip of my wine, and start stripping out of my clothes. I need my comfy sweats on.
When I sit back down a few minutes later, he’s already responded.
Malcolm: I really think we have great chemistry. Are you sure you won’t reconsider?
Me: I’m sorry.
After a few minutes of no response, the tightness in my chest lifts a little. I hate hurting his feelings, but I won’t lie to him. He’s a great guy. I’m sure he has plenty of dating opportunities.
Opening Bryant’s texts, I see I’ve received another one.
Bryant: Soooooo…
I can’t help the chuckle that escapes me. Stubborn ass.
Me: Actually, I did run off and marry Malcolm. Too bad, so sad, Nash.
Bryant: Damn it. I TOLD YOU TO WAIT!
Me: Nice interview, Slam.
Bryant: Stop it. You know I hate that.
Me: Yeah, I do. So, declaring your undying love for me on national TV was a bust.
Bryant: There is nothing I wouldn’t give to be able to kiss the hell out of your smart mouth right now.
The memory of the kisses we’ve shared is burned into my brain. I can taste his bubble gum every time I think about it. I’ve dreamt of those kisses more times than I’ll ever admit. His roaming hands too. Those big, strong, calloused hands.
Me: Too bad you’re on the other side of the city or I’d let you.
Their GM rented an entire floor at a hotel near the stadium for the players, and they’re on lockdown since the first game is in two days.
Slam: A Colorado Smoke Novel Page 14
