We enter an open courtyard which is a hive of activity. Large tables are arranged in the center with huge centerpieces of fruits and flowers. They’re in all different colors as the sun shines down on them. I guess they’re celebrating something, perhaps the springtime? Or summer? I remember something about how medieval people liked to celebrate the seasons.
As the sun starts to fade in the sky, lanterns strung on twine are lit. They glow with the fire encased inside, like oversized fireflies. Musicians play in the corner, they have a few lutes and someone plays the flute. They are keeping the atmosphere alive with their fast tunes.
People start to dance as a feast is spread out along the table. Every type of food I can imagine is there. Meats, cheeses, cakes, and glasses of ale line every available space.
I feel more invisible than ever as I am left to watch from the sidelines. People jostle into me and assume they misjudged the wall as they stumble away. I don’t want to be part of the furniture, I want to be in amongst it, having fun like everyone else. They don’t have to deal with being so lonely you want to cry. It’s crazy how I can feel so isolated when surrounded by so many people.
I don’t know why I should expect any different—or anything to change for that matter. Sure, Noah can see me but he is the only one in all of time and space. The chance of us meeting again is infinitely small. I know I need to go on like I never met him, but it’s difficult. For some reason, he’s got a hold of me. I can’t shake him from my mind no matter how much I want to.
In my mind, I imagine what it would be like to be dancing with Noah like all the couples in front of me. All the women are giggling with the thrill of being twirled around the dance floor, the men revel in their happiness. It’s just so sweet to see them having such fun. I wonder if Noah would be a good dancer? I wonder if I would be? We used to have discos at school but I was only eleven and boys were still to be avoided back then. My friends and I would jump around in place and that’s all.
I suddenly don’t want to watch the festivities any more, it’s too depressing. I weave through the people to make my way to the food. I fill my backpack with anything that looks like it might last for a while. Cheese and biscuits seems the more hardy options so I stuff them in. I also take a wooden goblet full of some liquid. At least I will be able to fill it with water to reuse later on.
Heading back inside the castle, I aimlessly wander through the corridors. There are so many of them, I easily get lost and completely lose my bearings. There are hardly any windows in the thick stone walls so I can’t even see out. Candles light my way but occasionally they’ve been blown out so I have to walk in the dark. I’m starting to have a great appreciation for electricity.
I try a few doors, hoping to find a warm room I can curl up in for the night and eat my dinner. Surely in the huge castle there has to be a spare room somewhere. Most of the doors are locked or lead to another corridor.
Finally, one of the rooms looks promising. It contains a small sitting room and beyond that is a bedroom. I go in and close the door behind me. The windows are shuttered with wooden panels so the wind can’t get in. Lights in the wall sconces are lit with fire, creating a warm ambience. It’s cozy in the room, I like it.
The bed is massive, I sprawl on it face down and enjoy the softness of the mattress. I could definitely be comfortable here. I take off my backpack and loop my feet through the straps. If I’m pulled away in the night, perhaps the connection will be enough to take it with me.
Nibbling on the cheese and biscuits, I think I could get used to living in a castle. If I don’t get pulled away for a while, it might not be a bad thing. I can imagine I’m a princess or something, I might even get a look at the king. A castle this big has to have a king and queen, right?
As I ponder the thought, the door opens and I freeze. I don’t want to make a sound in case I’m discovered. It’s a guy that enters, probably not much older than myself. He’s dressed in a deep blue suit, looking very dapper. He rubs at his dark hair as he sinks into the chair. I assume this is his room. I’m going to have to find a new one if he intends on staying here too.
He takes off his shoes, muttering to himself. I can just make out what’s he saying. “Dance with me? How stupid can you get? Why didn’t I just leave her alone? I shouldn’t have said anything. Why did I have to open my big mouth?”
He’s clearly beating himself up over something. He throws his shoes across the room in frustration. Whoever the girl is he obviously didn’t impress, must be blind. He’s good looking. He’s got these intense eyes where you know there’s a fire burning behind them. I like that look. Noah has that look.
“It’s her loss,” I respond before I can stop myself. I cover my mouth with my hand so I can’t do it by accident again. Why can’t I keep my big mouth shut?
The guy looks around quickly, wondering where the voice came from. It’s a fair question. “Who is there? Show yourself immediately.”
I admit, I’m bored with being quiet and hiding. Perhaps it’s not the smartest thing to talk back, but perhaps I’m not so smart. “I’m right here, you just can’t see me.”
“Are you a ghost?” He doesn’t move as he stands in the middle of the room. He’s looking my way, hearing where my voice is coming from.
“Something like a ghost,” I reply. It’s better for him to understand the concept of a spirit rather than to try to explain exactly what I am. “I take it you didn’t have any luck with a girl at the festivities?”
“Do I need to fear you?”
“No, I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Okay then.” He sighs, relaxing. I never expected him to be so accepting of a ghost, perhaps this castle is more haunted than I thought. “Yes, it was a girl. I asked her to dance and she said no. I shouldn’t have asked her.”
“Why did she say no?”
“I guess her heart belongs to someone else.”
The guy looks sadder than I had felt earlier. Perhaps not everyone was having as much fun as it seemed down in the courtyard. “Do you really like her?”
He nods. “I can’t get her out of my head. I would love to ask for her hand in marriage. My parents approve and everything. I just can’t get her to love me.”
“Does she know how you feel?”
“I thought I made it quite obvious when I made a fool out of myself. Everyone heard her rejection of me. I don’t know how I can face them again.”
I can’t think of anything that I can say to comfort him. It’s not like I’m a love doctor or anything. I’m probably the least qualified person to be giving advice. The only guy that makes my heart flutter is someone I doubt I’ll ever see again. What do I know?
“Are you still here?” He looks around the room.
“Yes, I’m here,” I answer, forgetting he can’t actually see me. “Maybe you should fight for your girl. If you love her, then perhaps she is worth being humiliated for?” I take a stab, despite having no idea. I have to say something.
“Do you think I could convince her to love me too?” he asks, his voice full of hope.
“I think you’re good looking so I can’t see why not.”
He starts to pace around the room, looking at the floor as he thinks. He’s getting more excited by the second, I’ve obviously stirred something in him.
Suddenly, he stops. “Do you think I should go and demand she dances with me?”
If he leaves, I can go to sleep and probably get a few good hours before he returns to claim his bed. But should I give bad advice just to use his room? It’s tempting, but I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep if I did. “I don’t think you should demand she dance with you. But perhaps you could talk her into it? If you say the right thing, perhaps she will want to dance with you.”
“That is a wonderful idea. What should I say?”
I roll my eyes, how would I know? Do I have to tell him how to do everything? “Tell her she looks beautiful tonight and you’ve never seen anyone more stunning than her. Then tell her s
he smells like roses, or something.”
“And that will work?”
“Maybe, it can’t hurt.”
“Thank you,” he says, bowing to me slightly. He’s not only good looking, but he’s polite too. He hurries out of the room and closes the door behind him.
Finally, I am alone again. I waste no time settling back on the bed. I loop my arms through the backpack this time, determined not to lose it.
As I close my eyes, Noah’s words filter back through my head again. He said we stay somewhere long enough to connect with someone. If his theory is right, I should be pulled away at any moment now. I connected with the guy. I spoke to him and either helped or hindered his pursuit of a girl. Shouldn’t that warrant being pulled away again?
I wait for the feeling, the familiar pulling at my chest, to take me away to somewhere new. I hope they have electricity wherever I go next. A hot shower to get rid of the stale smoke smell wouldn’t go astray. I doubt I’ll get one here.
But it doesn’t come. I drift off to sleep and when I awaken, I’m still in the same place. My arms are cradling my backpack, the sheets are still wrapped around me. I’m in the castle and haven’t been pulled away.
Noah’s theory can’t be true. All that has happened in the past must just have been a coincidence. Why else would I still be here? I connected and remained where I am. I doubt I’ll stay here forever so there has to be something else going on. Some other reason why we are bouncing around throughout time. I just don’t know what it is. I doubt I ever will.
I leave the room how I left it, even remaking the bed. I’m glad the guy didn’t return last night. Maybe things turned out really good with the girl he liked? He might have danced all night with her under the moonlight. The thought makes me smile, she’s a lucky girl.
The corridors look completely different with the morning light streaming in through the small windows. Nothing looks recognizable from the night before. I may as well be in a maze for the sense it all makes to me.
Eventually I find my way outside. It’s another courtyard except this one is much bigger—and quieter. There is a barn across the way, the heavy stable doors are wide open. I wander across, wondering what I will find inside.
Horses are lined up in their own stables, blankets covering their backs and keeping them warm in the crisp air. They look very regal and well cared for. I pat one, running my hand through his mane. He nods and snorts at my touch. It’s nice being able to interact with something that can actually see me. Even if it is only an animal.
“You’re beautiful, aren’t you?” I whisper, he whinnies in response. I smile at the conversation we’re having. If only it was this easy with humans.
I wrap my arms around the golden brown horse and give him a hug. He’s lovely and warm. I’ve forgotten how nice it is to be close to a living being.
Hurried footsteps creep up on me. I stay still, waiting for them to pass me by so I can leave. A female voice giggles as they shuffle into view.
It’s a female and male, both look to be about sixteen if I had to guess. They’re young, that I’m sure of. I’m also sure they shouldn’t be in the stables together.
“Don’t move,” the boy says, staring directly into her eyes as he brushes the hair from her face. “The way the sunlight is catching your eyes makes me shiver inside.”
Her face lights up and it’s not just from the sunlight. She’s absolutely smitten by him. “You make me shiver all over. I’ve got goose pimples, see?” She holds up her arm. He doesn’t look at the goose pimples, just kisses her hand. Now I think I’m smitten by him too.
“Your goose pimples are the finest ones I have ever seen,” he murmurs in between kisses. She giggles with the anticipation. He moves up her arm, finally making his way back to her lips again. They kiss until they run out of breath. “I wish we could stay here together forever.”
“Me too. Will we be able to soon? Promise me you’ll speak with my father.”
“I promise. I don’t want to sneak around like this. I want to be able to walk around freely with you on my arm for all the kingdom to see.”
“And I would be proud to do it,” she says, blushing.
Another set of footsteps interrupt their rendezvous. They hurry away before they can see who it is. I’m almost sad to see them go, they really were the cutest couple.
A guy enters and I have to look twice at him before I realize he’s the same guy from last night. He’s dressed in a brown coat and pants with a hat on his head. He looks even better than I first thought.
The stable boy runs over to him, bowing low. “M’Lord, do you wish to go riding?”
“Yes, I think I’ll go out for a run. My father is always on me to improve my riding skills.”
The boy nods. “The king is an excellent horseman.”
Did he just say king? His father? I was giving advice to a prince last night? I wish he’d said something, maybe I should have kept my mouth shut. If I knew he was trying to win over a princess, my advice may have been very different.
The stable boy helps him get a horse’s saddle on. “We’re going to need another horse,” the prince declares, pointing to a white horse next to his own. “How about Sundown? I think she’ll be perfect.”
“Someone is joining you?”
Instead of replying, the prince just grins. He hauls himself onto the back of his horse as the boy leads the other out into the sunshine. I follow, curious about his secretive smile. I desperately want to see who his riding partner is.
A girl joins them, she is equally as dressed up as the prince. Her red hair glistens in the sunlight as her face lights up at seeing the horse. She immediately starts patting him. “He’s beautiful, just like you said.”
“I told you we only had the finest of horses here,” the prince says proudly. She might only have eyes for the horse, but he only has eyes for her. This has to be the girl he was talking about last night, he is absolutely captivated by her. Not just any girl could have got him as upset as he was.
I wish I could ask him. I have an urge to run out and demand to know everything that happened after he left my room last night. What did he get up to? How come he never returned? I would love to know all the juicy details.
But I know if I did, it would freak out the girl and probably the stable boy too. They would probably spook the horses who would start charging. The prince might get knocked off the saddle and hurt himself. The girl wouldn’t speak to him again and he would never love anyone like he did her. There would be no heir to inherit the kingdom and the castle would crumble. And it would be all my fault.
So I have to just stand here, being invisible and quiet. At least I’ve got a horse for company. The stable boy helps the girl onto her horse, she sits side saddle which does not look comfortable. Still, they start trotting off down the path to get to the rolling green fields. The entire time, the prince’s eyes barely move from his love. I don’t know who is cuter, the couple stealing a moment in the stable or the prince and the girl. It’s tough to decide.
The pull starts on my chest but I don’t want to leave. It’s kind of fun exploring this place and time, I’m not in the mood to go somewhere else. I’m tired of running and fighting, searching for food and shelter. I wish it would stop.
I glance up, clutching at the pull on my chest. For just a moment, I can see nothing else but someone staring right back at me. He’s tall and solid, his hair dark brown and his clothes ragged. I know he can’t see me, but it’s like he can. I feel completely exposed and naked under his intense gaze.
How can he see me? I swear he is looking directly at me but I know it can’t be possible. In that moment, all logic and reason goes out of my head. I know he can see me, there can’t be any doubts about it. I just don’t know why.
Chapter 9
When I open my eyes, I’m nowhere I have been before. But I have seen photographs of places just like it. I think I’m in India, in a tribal village. The ground under my feet is nothing but dark orange dirt. S
mall round houses made out of sticks and hay are dotted around the place. A well sits near a lonely tree. If I had to describe the place in one world it would be desolate.
Mostly-naked people walk in all directions, on missions of their own. They are skinny in their limbs and rounder in the stomach. Their skin is a beautiful chocolate brown. The skirts they do wear are brightly colored, they stand out bluntly against their bodies.
I follow some women, they all seem to be going to the same place. At least, they’re all going in the one direction. I don’t have any better ideas so I have nothing to lose. Thankfully, my backpack made it through with me so at least I know where my next meal is coming from. The sun is high in the sky so I have plenty of time before I need to find shelter.
The women lead me to a large fenced off yard which holds a small building. This one is sturdier than the houses, it can’t be a place of residence. Leaving the women, I start exploring on my own, that way I don’t have to be so careful to remain quiet.
The building only has three rooms and everyone is in one of them. Judging by the dozens of kids sitting cross-legged on the floor, I think it’s fair to assume this is a school. One teacher sits in front of them, reading a book out loud. I don’t recognize the language, I can’t even pick up a word here or there. It’s all just gibberish to me.
I stand at the edge of the small classroom, leaning on the edge of the desk. I may not understand what the woman is saying, but the teacher’s voice is calming nonetheless.
It takes me back to my childhood, when I was just a little kid in elementary school. Parents used to come in to read to us in small groups, we were taught to read that way. I used to love it when my mother volunteered to be one of the readers. She was really good at it, I was always proud to be able to call her my mother.
The thought brings a smile to my lips at the memory. I hope these kids all have nice memories like that. Every kid deserves them, each and every one.
The teacher closes the book when she reaches the end. She talks directly to the kids and they all leap up to run outside. I stand too, just in case one decides to run into me on their way out.
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