Ever since I started to be pulled away and bounced all over the place, I have resented the fact that I’m a time traveler. But now, thinking about it, I have lived an amazing life. If only it was my choice, perhaps things would have been so different.
I realize Alex is still waiting for an answer. I don’t want to delve too deep into my memory bank, some of them are too painful and best left in the past. So I decide to stick with the latest, least painful one. “I was recently in the future and they don’t really talk to each other. They prefer the company of their computers than other human beings. It was very strange.”
“Something to look forward to then, huh?”
“I guess so.” I laugh, it’s better than crying.
Alex appears to be completely at ease now, his curiosity winning over any doubts. I feel good too, perhaps it’s the warmth of the tea spreading over me, but it’s nice here—cozy. It would be nice to spend a few days here instead of being taken away before I get to rest.
Like he can read my mind, Alex asks, “How long will you be here, in this time?”
“I don’t know, but probably not long. I rarely stay anywhere more than a day. Two at most. Although, I did stay somewhere for five days not that long ago.”
“Well, you’re welcome to stay here. It’s not much, obviously.” He gestures around the room. “But it’s better than being outside in the cold. And trust me, it gets cold out there. Especially at night.”
“Thank you, I really—” I’m cut off by a buzzer. It makes me jump with the surprise of it cutting through the otherwise silent room. Alex gets up immediately to turn it off. He doesn’t sit down again.
“I need to check on my experiments. Do you want to come?”
I need to help him in some way, I know that’s my mission here. If I stay in the warmth of the house, I might miss my opportunity. “Sure.”
“You’re going to need a coat,” Alex warns as he grabs two off a wall hook and throws one to me. It’s thick, orange, and reaches nearly to the floor. At least he won’t lose me in the snow.
I waddle after him, my hands lost in the coat sleeves. His jacket is neon green, almost yellow. We both stand out in the white snow and ice like beacons. I assume that’s the point.
He walks fast, his head down against the wind. I follow, having to keep looking up to make sure I’m still with him. He doesn’t look back to make sure he’s still with me.
My feet slip all over the place as I try to keep up. The ice has a thick layer of snow covering it, the moment that is swept away it’s nothing but blocks of ice. Skates would probably be easier to use on this ground.
“Wait here while I climb down. It’s dangerous down there,” Alex yells through the wind. I nod, unwilling to open my mouth to the cold.
He half slides, half jumps down an embankment. It’s steep, I hope he knows how to get back up again. He crouches down and examines the ground.
My eyes wander elsewhere, Alex isn’t that interesting. Further down the plateau, there is a mass of something black. It’s moving so it can’t just be rocks. I have to squint to make them out, but they are definitely penguins. Not just a few, but dozens of them. Perhaps even hundreds, I can’t see that far.
They are the cutest things imaginable as they huddle together in the cold. Not that the weather seems to bother them, they’re talking to each other and playing. I could stand here all day and watch them.
It gets even cuter when a few smaller penguins join them, the gray babies huddle up close to their parents. Even if I don’t manage to connect with Alex in this time, it was worth it all just to see this spectacular sight. Never in a million years did I ever imagine I would be standing in Antarctica watching penguins in their natural environment.
“We need to get back, the weather is getting worse.” Alex’s voice pulls me out of my daydream. I don’t want to leave the cuteness of the penguins but I guess I should. I turn around and follow the scientist.
I’m glad he knows where he’s going, because we could have been going in circles and I wouldn’t be any the wiser. Everything is white and it all looks the same. We can’t even follow our tracks back because the wind has covered them already.
Apparently I’m walking too slow because Alex comes back to grab my arm. He leads me along faster, trying to tell me something but his voice is lost in the wind. I think he wants us to get back quickly, perhaps the weather is about to get a lot worse in a hurry.
We finally reach his home and he pushes me through the door. A gust of cold snow follows us in, doing a lap of the tiny room before disappearing.
I shake myself out of the coat as Alex waits for me. He takes them both and restores them back on the hook. I guess with such a small living space it pays to be neat and tidy. I get the feeling he’s like that with everything—not just coats.
“So is your experiment going to plan?” I ask awkwardly, trying to make conversation again.
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“Isn’t that supposed to be a good thing?”
He looks serious all of a sudden. “The results are telling me the ice is shifting quite fast. It could be disastrous for the environment. Is there anything in the future that could help me?”
“I don’t think so,” I lie. I feel bad not telling him the truth but I can’t change something that’s meant to happen. Don’t they say everything happens for a reason? I can’t mess with that.
“Well, if you live in 2018, then the world hasn’t ended by then. So I guess that’s promising.” He shrugs and goes through to the kitchen in the other room. “Want some dinner? I have soup?”
“Sounds perfect.” I sigh and follow him.
The rest of the evening we spend talking about anything and everything. I haven’t spoken that much in over two years and it feels unbelievably good to just be in the moment. I don’t have to think or worry, it’s just a conversation between two people. It almost makes me forget about Noah for a few hours. But only almost.
By bedtime it’s back to being awkward again. Alex insists I take the camp bed while he makes a nest for himself on the floor. I keep telling him I have slept in worse places than his floor but he still insists on being a gentleman. It’s so nice of him I end up just giving in.
I snuggle into the blankets, feeling warm and snug. I’m not worried about being pulled away in the middle of the night, I don’t even sleep with my backpack on. Things are changing, I can feel it. I don’t have to be afraid anymore, I can do this.
And hopefully, soon with Noah.
Chapter 11
“Ugh, this is impossible,” Alex exclaims, slamming his notebook closed. I put down the book I’m reading to look at him. He is practically fuming with frustration.
“What’s wrong?” I dare to ask. I have been holed up in what is barely larger than an igloo for two days and I’m starting to go stir crazy.
“This formula isn’t working and it’s driving me nuts. What the hell am I doing with my life?” He throws up his hands in frustration, pieces of paper going everywhere.
I grapple for something positive to say but the longer I spend in this cold and isolated place, the harder it is. It’s like the rest of the world could have disappeared and Alex and I would never know. We’d just emerge one day and realize we were the only ones left. Now that is a scary thought. I need to get out of here, I never thought I’d be desperately awaiting the pull like this.
“Just because your formula isn’t working right now, it doesn’t mean it won’t work ever,” I assure him. “You can’t just give up because you’re having a bad day.”
“But how do I know when it is time to give up? I had so many goals when I came here and I can’t help but wonder if I was kidding myself thinking I could do this.”
“You only fail if you give up. If you leave without finishing your work, you’ll never forgive yourself.”
“Maybe I’ll never finish my work anyway.”
I wish I could say something to convince him. I know climate change is a big de
al, it disturbs me to think of there being one less scientist trying to do something about it. He has to keep going, even if it’s only to keep the cute little penguins company. I make a conscious decision to lie, hoping the means justifies the end.
“I know some stuff about the future, I was holding out on you the other day.” It instantly gets his attention, at least he’s not complaining anymore. “You need to keep going with your research. It’s worth it, trust me.”
“Really?” he asks, perkier than I have seen him since I first arrived. “Do I find something great?”
“I can’t give anything away. You just need to get back to it and keep going.”
Alex sighs, starting to nod his head slowly. “And you’re sure?”
“I’m certain.”
He bends over and picks up his notebook and the loose pieces of paper. He shuffles them all together and places them neatly on his desk again. Picking up his pen, he grabs his calculator and I know he’s back on track.
But it isn’t just his actions that are telling me that, it’s the pulling at my chest. I’m about to leave Alex alone to his research and I think I’m actually going to miss him a little.
“I’m about to go but I want to thank you for looking after me so well,” I burst out, talking at a million miles an hour. “Your research is important, promise me you won’t give up?”
His eyes are wide and startled as he processes what I’m saying. “Thank you for being here and enlightening me. I’ll never forget it, Ella. Safe journey.”
I grab my backpack and wave goodbye, closing my eyes and surrendering to the white light. I wait patiently, hoping Alex is all right there by himself. Maybe some other scientist will befriend him so he won’t be so lonely. If I was out there for years, cooped up in that little place, I would feel like giving up too.
I don’t even realize the light has gone away, I’m too worried about Alex to even think about it. But it’s short lived as my ears are suddenly telling me I am somewhere noisy and I need to open my eyes quickly.
One look around me and I would go back to the freezing cold Antarctica in a heartbeat. I have to get out of here. I try to make my feet move. It’s hot and stuffy and the faces of everyone around me are wrong. They are deformed and brightly colored, laughing and grinning at everything. It’s like a nightmare as I run through them.
They don’t chase me, just stand back to clear my path. There is a woman with three arms, a man with none at all. Then there are those whose faces are covered in growths, hair, tattoos, anything imaginable.
The room is like a maze, the lights are hot and making me sticky in my warm clothes. I’m suddenly short of breath, it’s getting more and more difficult to breathe. I don’t understand what is going on and I don’t know how to escape from it. My legs are starting to give out on me, I’m going to faint if I don’t sit down soon.
I stagger through, holding my backpack to my chest like a shield. It can’t do anything for me but it feels better having it anyway. I can’t let go of it or I’m sure I’m going to die.
The faces go on and on, the music throbbing in my ears. Voices intermingle with the rhythm so I can’t discern one from the other. It doesn’t help my breathing, all the air is being sucked out of it inch by inch.
Finally, I reach a doorway and grip the edge. It’s made of heavy canvas, it isn’t even the solid wall that I need right now. I go through anyway and I’m outside but not completely. It’s more of a corridor but with grass as the floor. Nothing makes any sense, I can’t even guess when or where I am right now.
But that’s not my main concern, I need to find some air so I can breathe again. Without oxygen I’m going to collapse and nobody will ever find me.
I follow the corridor, seeing daylight in the distance. Perhaps I’m just slowly dying and that’s the pearly gates. Or as I get closer, perhaps it’s really just the light of day.
I make it outside, truly outside, just in time. My legs give out on me and I fall to the ground. I sit there on the grass, holding my knees to my chest while I gasp in deep breaths. My lungs are killing me. I wonder if this is what a panic attack feels like? Am I actually dying, or was I just panicking back there?
The faces of those inside whirl around my mind, making me relive my nightmare again and again. It was so confronting, so terrifying. It was the last thing I expected.
I sit on the ground until I can feel the world stop spinning around me. I can eventually breathe normally again as I calm down. Looking around for the first time, I’m not alone here. Nobody is paying attention to me but there are lots of people milling around. Not just adults but kids too. What on earth are kids doing here? This is no place for children.
Everyone is dressed up but they aren’t in modern clothes. I’ve gone back in time even further, to about the twenties if I had to guess. The women wear dresses down to their ankles and plain hats on their heads. Beads surround their neck and gloves cover their hands. The men are all dressed in suits, mostly dark colored ones. The kids are all perfectly put together, even the little boys have perfectly combed hair. It is a stark contrast to the horror inside.
I stand and take a few steps, testing my legs. They seem to be holding me up well so I venture along further. Suddenly, everything starts to make sense. I laugh to myself, feeling like a fool. I had nothing to be worried about inside, it was just my own mind playing tricks on me.
This is a circus.
The canvas walls I tried to use as a handrail are the walls of the tent. I wasn’t in the main building but the side alley. The one where all the freaks charge for admission to see them.
I shouldn’t say freaks, they’re just normal people with unusual talents or deformities, but I’m pretty sure that’s what they called them back then. They’re part of the freak show, one that travels with the circus, providing a vast array of amusements for townsfolk.
Instantly I feel bad for being so frightened of them. But with the lights and the music and the noise, I didn’t realize they were just normal people. Everything was so overwhelming and I let it scare me.
At least I now have my body under control, I can handle whatever else is inside the big top. When I think about it, it might be really cool to go inside and have a look around. I’ve seen pictures of shows like this one and they always intrigued me. I can’t believe how stupid I was before.
I return the way I came, trying to avoid the ticket vendor and the general public. I’m still dressed in my jeans and shirt I got from my foray into the future, I don’t exactly fit in by any means. I make a mental note to keep an eye out for some new clothes I could borrow. I don’t want to steal but now that everyone can see me I’m going to have to. Come to think of it, stealing is going to be a lot harder now too.
I skirt past the tent where I arrived and go to the big top. On the other side of the canvas walls are rounds of applause and cheering. The circus must be going on now, the audience having a good time.
Finding a loose flap, I slip into the tent. The crowd, along with the music, is overwhelming. It’s hot and stuffy in here too under the midday sun. The stench of sweat and animals assault my nose. If I wasn’t so curious, I would totally be out of here fast.
I brave the mass of bodies and start weaving my way through to the front. I really want to see what all the fuss is about. The crowd helps to disguise me too, I don’t look so oddly dressed compared to the circus performers.
Finally, I reach the front and can see the center ring. It’s fenced by only bales of hay, coming loose with the people getting too close. A woman is standing atop a horse’s back, not holding onto anything as it runs around in circles. Her balance is amazing. If I tried that I wouldn’t even be able to fully stand.
Around and around the horse goes, ribbons in its tail flying behind. It wears a mask around its face, the same green color as the girl’s blouse. They are obviously a good team, she trusts the horse not to buck. One sudden stop or weird movement and she will tumble to the ground in an instant.
The
ringmaster is trying to garner louder cheers. He waves at the crowd to get them even more excited. Suddenly, the girl jumps off, landing perfectly on both feet. She earns a hearty round of applause for her efforts. I join in, clapping readily. She deserves every one of them.
Next to appear is a clown, I don’t think he’s going to be able to beat the girl. I don’t like clowns as a general rule and this one is no different. He’s creepy, that painted on smile and crazy hair does nothing to hide that fact.
My eyes wander to the crowd, trying to avoid the clown’s shenanigans that are making everyone else laugh. He keeps beeping a horn which is annoying. I wish someone would rip it out of his hand to shut him up.
Someone waves across the ring, catching my attention. I have to look twice to make sure I’m seeing right. It’s Noah. He’s on the other side of the tent and being swamped by people, but it’s him. I just know it.
I instantly move, weaving and pushing my way through the crowd where necessary. My sole focus is to get to Noah, I can’t let him disappear. My heart pounds in my chest with the anticipation. I have to see him and that means I have to get to him. I step on too many feet to count and I accidently elbow a few kids. I murmur apologies without slowing down.
The tent seems to go on forever, the mass of bodies never seems to abate. I can only hope I’m going in the right direction as I can’t see anything but shoulders and children’s heads. It would have been much easier to get through them all while I was still invisible. Now, I actually have to try to be polite.
“Hey,” a man’s voice complains as I tread on his foot. I mutter an apology and move faster. His foot will stop hurting but my pain from not getting to Noah in time won’t ever fade. I have to get to him.
I put my head down and charge on, trying to stay off other people’s feet this time. I move as quickly as I can and just pray it’s fast enough. I hope Noah saw me and is doing the same thing. If we can both get through the crowd, then we have to find each other eventually, right?
Perfectly Timed Page 10
