“He’s going to get us.”
Noah grips my hand. “I’m not going to let him hurt you. We’re going to be pulled, we have to be. They won’t let us get injured.”
“They let you get stabbed and punched,” I point out, remembering Noah still bears the scars of the incident. “What if we don’t get pulled this time?”
“We have to,” Noah replies resolutely. I wish I had his faith but the screaming voice inside my head keeps telling me otherwise. It’s louder than any declaration of faith.
I have to grip the bars to stop myself from falling over in the rickety cage. I don’t know our destination and I don’t think I want to either. Nothing good could ever come from being locked up and paraded through the streets.
The man is following us. Every now and then his head pops up amongst the crowd of people. Every time, he’s just staring at us with that same menacing glare that seems to be a permanent scowl on his face. I think of the knife he sliced Noah’s chest with and it sends me into a new round of panic.
The trip takes an interminable amount of time and is too short at the same time. We eventually come to a stop and the guards all gather around the entrance to our cage. I grip the bars tighter, refusing to be torn away. I don’t want to go anywhere they want to take me. Once we are no longer in the public arena, they can do whatever they like. I don’t want to find out what their intentions are, I really don’t.
“Get your hands off her!” Noah screams as the guards reach for me. They already have him and pull him down onto the ground. He has to watch the entire thing without being able to do anything.
Noah continues to yell but I tune him and everything else out. My sole intent is to hold onto the bars and not let anyone pull me away. If I can just focus, I need to focus.
But it doesn’t work. The guards are far stronger and bigger than me. My grip will never be enough to overpower them. It’s three against one and I’m definitely not Superwoman. They pry my hands away and carry me to the ground.
They don’t stop moving. With one guard at each of my sides, holding me off the floor by my arms, I stand no chance of having a say in what happens to me.
My mind goes to Noah, I look around in a panic to make sure he’s coming too. I don’t want to leave him, we have to stay together in case we’re pulled away. I doubt we’ll go to the same place if we’re not together. If we’re pulled away anyway, I wish I could feel it beginning.
We enter a building, the large foyer much cooler than the outside sun. I finally see Noah again, he’s got three guards on him, holding him in place. They take him in the opposite direction that I am taken. I can’t do this alone.
“Noah!” I scream, just wanting him to stay with me. They can’t take him away from me, they just can’t. We’re supposed to be together, this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.
“Ella!” I hear the panic from my own voice yelled back at me. The guards spin me around so I can no longer see him at all. The guards have no soul, they don’t care at all about either of us. All we were doing was sleeping in the desert, it wasn’t a crime.
I start to seriously struggle against my captors. I thrash about, causing as much pain to them as possible. I don’t want to make their job easy, I want to make it as difficult as possible to keep me captive like a prisoner. I didn’t do anything wrong, why can’t they see that?
I don’t even feel the pull at my chest until it’s almost too late. I don’t want to be pulled away now if I’m without Noah. There is no guarantee he’ll come with me. I might never see him again, we might spend the rest of our lives tumbling through time and never crossing the same path.
I can’t stop it though, just like I have never been able to control it. I’m being pulled away and I don’t think it’s even a better alternative than staying and facing whatever punishment they want to give us for whatever crime they think we committed. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to be gone from Noah.
I wait for the bright white light but it doesn’t come. Instead, everything goes pitch black. If I couldn’t still feel the pulling at my chest, I would think that perhaps I had died somehow. It’s like nothing exists anymore, just the darkness. I blink my eyes, at least I think I do, I can’t see a thing to tell me whether my eyes are open or closed. I’m just floating in nothingness.
Chapter 19
“No!” I gasp and scream as I feel myself return to my body. I’m lying down, a soft mattress underneath me. My eyes jolt open as I try to regain my breath. My heart is thundering in my chest. It’s beating so fast that surely this is what a heart attack feels like? A heart can only take so much and I think mine is at its limit.
I have to wipe the sweat from my brow, but there is something stopping my left hand. It’s anchored down, attached to something. I look around for the first time, trying to take it all in.
I’m not in the desert. I’m not even still in my own clothes. I’m in a hospital bed. Everything is white and sterile. A bunch of machines beep at my side. This is modern times and the thing preventing my arm from moving is a drip—I’m attached to an IV with clear liquid dripping down every few seconds.
More importantly, I’m alone.
“Noah!” I yell, over and over again. He wasn’t with me in Egypt when I bounced so he might just be in another room. He might not know I’m here. “Noah!” I’m not going to stop yelling until I find him. I have to get to Noah, there is no option about it. We are supposed to be together.
Using my right hand, I push back the blankets covering me. They’re the white, waffle patterned ones you only see in hospitals. I need to get up and go looking for him, I can’t just expect him to find me. I need to get moving.
But my legs are too shaky, they won’t do as I tell them. My entire body feels weak and tired. I don’t understand what’s going on. Just minutes ago I was putting everything I had into fighting against the guards and now I can’t even move? I hate this, I just want to know what’s going on.
I start sobbing, letting all the frustrations burst out in the salty tears. I just want everything to stop. I want Noah and I to be able to stop running from everything. Why can’t it just be easier? Why can’t we just be normal?
“She’s awake.” A woman stands at my door and calls for others to join her. I doubt I am supposed to be here but it’s not like I can run anywhere. Even if I didn’t have this stupid drip in my arm, my body won’t co-operate anyway.
The woman is dressed in a gray uniform, as are the two other women that join her. They look like nurses, their faces set in a permanent look of sympathy.
She places a hand on my forehead, pushing my hair away from my face. “How are you feeling?”
I have to take a few deep breaths before I can speak. “Where’s Noah?”
“Noah?” She looks from me to the other nurses, they shrug in response. “Who’s Noah?”
“He’s… he’s… my boyfriend.”
She completely ignores me. “Do you remember what happened? Anything?”
“We were in Egypt. We were captured.” How do I make her believe that finding Noah is the most important thing in the world?
“Oh, honey, you weren’t in Egypt. You’ve been here for the past four years.” She gives me that look again, the one that screams sympathy. I don’t need her sympathy, I need to find Noah. Lying here isn’t going to work.
“No, I was—”
“Honey, what’s your name?” She cuts me off, not listening to me anymore.
“Ella.”
“Ella what?”
“Ella Breeland. You need to help me find Noah. Please.” I push back the blankets again, this time I am going to force my body into co-operating. I’m the boss, it needs to listen to me.
I push my leg toward the side of the bed, instantly making the three nurses jump into action. “No, you have to stay in bed. We’ll get the doctor to check you out. You need your rest.”
“No, I need to find Noah.” I push back against them, I will not be forced to stay here when I have
to find him. He’s not going to know I’m here. “We don’t belong in this time. We need to leave. We need to go and find a way back to our own time.”
“This is your own time.” The nurse speaks calmly and gently, like a mother trying to placate a child. It’s not going to work on me, I can see through her trick.
“It’s not my own time. I belong in 2018.”
“This is 2018.” The moment the words have left her lips, my head snaps around to stare at her. Was that just one of her tricks too? Was she lying to placate me? Surely this couldn’t be my own time? She’s just trying to mess with me.
“It’s not,” I reply determinedly. “You’re lying.”
“It’s August 30, 2018. I’m telling the truth.” She says it with such conviction that I actually think she might be right. Either that or she’s the world’s best actress.
I hesitate long enough for the three of them to push me down onto the bed. But even if this is my time, I still need to find Noah. He’s got to be here, I don’t care what they say.
I struggle against their arms, not caring that I’m hurting them. I have to leave and they can’t stop me. They can’t force me to stay in this bed. I’ll pull out the IV myself and just go. Finding Noah is more important than anything else.
Suddenly, one of the nurses pulls out a sharp needle. She plunges it into my leg and I slow down. It’s like I’m sinking into quicksand and my body weighs the same as an army tank. Fatigue grips me and I can’t fight it. Before I know it, I’m falling into the dark oblivion.
I don’t know how long I’m out. I don’t dream and I can’t see a clock anywhere. The constant beeping of the heart monitor filters through my ears. Beep. Beep. Beep. I become conscious of my body again. I can wriggle my toes and flex my fingers. I can move everything but it’s still an uphill battle.
Opening my eyes, I expect to see nothing but the sterile hospital room surrounding me. Instead, I’m confronted by a group of people. The moment one notices that I’ve awoken, they all flock to my side.
But they aren’t strangers, I recognize them all. My mom is here, as is my dad, and my two brothers. Gran completes the group, sitting in the visitor’s chair by the door. It’s been so long since I’ve seen them, I don’t even trust that they’re real.
“Mom?” I ask, my voice coming out husky.
“She needs water,” my mom says, pushing aside my brother to reach for the jug and plastic cup. She pours me a little and guides it into my mouth. I take a sip.
My family can actually see me. They can hear me, and they can touch me. The thought is overwhelming. I’m home. I’m actually home with my family and they can see me. Tears start to stream down my cheeks again.
“Oh, baby girl, don’t cry,” my father soothes. He pats my arm, afraid to touch me in case I might break. I’m scared I’m going to be pulled away again.
“We’ve missed you so much,” Mom gushes, holding onto my hand tight. “We didn’t know what happened to you.”
I’m having a hard time trying to figure it out too. I don’t understand how I could have been in Egypt and then allowed to return to my family? What game is someone playing? Are they just trying to tease me?
“How did you know I was here?” I ask, the only question that sounds kind of reasonable.
“The hospital tracked us down.”
“You thought I was missing.” My mind flashes back to all the missing person posters. “What happened?”
“You didn’t come home from school,” Mom explains, her eyes misty with the memory. “We didn’t know what happened. We thought you might have been kidnapped or hurt. We just didn’t know.”
“So we reported you missing,” Dad chimes in. “But the police couldn’t find you. There was no trace.”
My mother picks up the story again. “Until we got the phone call from the hospital yesterday saying you had been found. I didn’t believe it until I saw you lying here, exactly how I remembered you.”
“How long have I been gone?” I ask, trying to fit all the pieces together. It still wasn’t clear to me.
“Four years. The hospital has had you here for four years but they didn’t know who you were. You didn’t have any identification and you were too badly injured to match you up with the missing person’s reports. It was only when you woke up yesterday and told them who you were, that they were able to find us.” My mother leans over to kiss me on the forehead. She looks older than I remember, the years of worry taking their toll on her.
So I’ve been lying in this hospital bed for four years. But how could I be when I was travelling through time? I couldn’t have been in two places at once.
I couldn’t have been.
The shocking realization hits me harder than a missile. I really couldn’t have been in two places at the same time. I was here, all along. I never travelled through time, it was all just a dream. Everything that I thought was real, wasn’t.
But, above all, Noah wasn’t real. My imagination has somehow conjured him up from nothing. My chest hurts with the realization. I feel like I’m falling through space again. Everything is wrong, I was wrong. Four years of my life have been spent asleep, lying in a sterile hospital bed with nobody even knowing my name.
And to make it all worse, I can’t tell anyone about it. They’ll think I’m crazy. Time travelers aren’t real, it’s impossible. Of course they’ll think I’m completely nuts. I’ll just exchange my hospital bed here for one in the psychiatric ward. I’ll probably waste another four years there.
I don’t want to see anyone anymore. As much as I love my family and I’m happy to see them, I can’t deal with it all right now. I need time to process everything, to adjust to my real life again. I can’t do that when they’re all around me—expecting the person I used to be.
“I’m really tired,” I say as I try to smile.
“Of course you are, I’m sure it’s a lot to take in,” my mother coos. She leans over and gives me another kiss. Looking around at everyone, they all look worried but in a relieved way. Getting that phone call yesterday must have been a big surprise for them.
They all leave except Mom, she stays and sits silently in the visitor’s chair. She pulls out a book and starts reading, determined not to disturb me. I guess after four years she probably doesn’t want to let me out of her sight. Perhaps I’ll disappear again, just like I did then.
I know what they are telling me is the truth, I don’t have a reason for thinking they would all be lying to me. But I also can’t remember anything that happened. I don’t remember what I was doing just before I was first pulled away. I can recall the time I was pulled to, but nothing before that. I always just assumed it started one day out of the blue. Now, I know none of it ever happened.
I don’t know why I’m so upset by it. At least now I know I’m not going to be pulled away again. I can live that normal life I yearned for, year after year. I can be the same old Ella, slot back into my old life and carry on like nothing ever happened.
But I will have to do it all without Noah. He’s not out there looking for me, he never existed. Everything was just a figment of my imagination, a way for my brain to stay stimulated while my body was idle. He was too good to be true because he was. I know I’m going to miss him more than anything.
I close my eyes as the tears start to well. I let them pool before sliding down the edge of my face. I can’t deal with it now, it just upsets me too much. I want to be asleep again, perhaps I can find Noah in my dreams.
Chapter 20
It takes the hospital five days to deem me well enough to be released to my parents. They suggest some kind of rehabilitation program which I’ll need to follow up at home. My body is still weak but there is nothing more they can do for me. I have to rest, eat well, and build myself back up again. There will be no quick fixes.
I know I should be happy about going home for the first time in four years, but I’m nervous about it. I don’t know how much will have changed. Will my room even be the same? It wouldn
’t surprise me if they turned it into something else more useful. There would be no reason to keep a bedroom for someone who was long gone. I doubt they ever expected me to return.
The car ride home is quiet. My parents try really hard to be happy and make conversation, but it’s difficult to know what to say to them. To say I’m having trouble processing everything that has happened is a huge understatement. I can’t believe I was in a coma for four years. Lying in bed, unconscious, not travelling through time.
Between my parents, the police, and the hospital they had pieced together what happened to me four years ago. Apparently I was on my way home from school when I decided to go shopping with my friends. We went to the mall but I wanted to leave early so I left by myself.
Somewhere between the mall and home, I had crossed a road and got run over. It was pretty bad, apparently. I was all smashed up and I had damaged my head badly when I hit the car. My brain swelled and they induced a coma to allow it to recover. When it was time to ease me out of the drug haze, I decided I wasn’t ready and remained in the coma.
In all the turmoil of the accident, my backpack with all my identification was forgotten. Nobody knows what happened to it, but the police think someone might have stolen it. Apparently there are opportunists out there who would steal from anyone, given the chance.
I was admitted to the hospital as Jane Doe and remained that way for four years. I couldn’t tell them who I was and they couldn’t figure it out. The police showed me the photos they were using to try to identify me and I didn’t blame them. My face was so swollen with jagged cuts everywhere from the impact. I barely recognized myself and I had spent a lifetime seeing myself in the mirror.
When I didn’t come home that night, my parents reported me missing. Unfortunately, my accident occurred on the other side of the city so they never thought the Jane Doe might be the missing girl too. The two precincts never communicated their cases. I fell through the cracks.
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