by Elle James
“Not at all,” said Mrs. Morris. “You remember the old saying, It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” The older woman’s brow furrowed. “Oh, wait. You might be too young to remember that saying.” She shrugged. “Anyway, enjoy your night out. And don’t be afraid to fall in love at first sight. I fell in love at first sight with my first husband. We were married for forty years before he died of a stroke. He could be an ornery old cuss, but he knew how to push all my buttons.” She heaved a big sigh. “I loved that man.” She let go of Beth’s arm. “Now, go. You have a lot of living to do before you get to be my age.”
Beth followed Nora out to Nora’s car.
Nora slid into the driver’s seat, grinning from ear to ear.
Beth sat in the passenger seat and pulled the seatbelt over her lap.
Once both doors were closed, Nora burst out laughing. “I like your neighbor.”
Her neighbor got into a boat of an old car and settled into the driver’s seat, barely able to see over the steering wheel. She smiled and waved at Beth and Nora as she backed out of her parking space.
“Mrs. Morris is one of a kind,” Beth said as she waved back.
“And she makes good points,” Nora said, wiping tears from her eyes. “You have to live.”
“Good grief.” Beth flung her hands in the air. “Can’t I just go have drinks with a friend without her trying to set me up with another man?”
“I promise not to set you up.” Nora shifted into reverse and left the parking lot of Beth’s apartment building. “I won’t have to. It will likely be at least two to one, men to women, at this hail and farewell. You’re an attractive woman. The guys will figure it out without my help.” She grinned as she drove to the Salty Dog Saloon outside the main gate of Fort Hood.
Beth cringed. She’d avoided social gatherings involving single, hot-blooded Delta Force men for a reason. They were too…dangerous…and appealed to the daring woman inside of her that she fought to subdue. Working with the special forces men in theater was hard enough. At least while deployed, they had strict orders not to fraternize. Since Nora had fallen for one of the Deltas, Beth preferred to stay home rather than go out with the couple where she was the third wheel. Nora had tried on several occasions to get her to agree to a blind date.
One of the reasons she’d agreed to marry Jonathan was because he wasn’t special forces. He was a doctor, someone who worked behind the lines, saving lives, not taking them. A doctor seemed a safe choice. But Jonathan didn’t choose safe. He chose to put himself in danger with the assignments he undertook in remote locations where he didn’t always have the benefit of being behind the wire in a hardened position.
And he volunteered as often as assignments came up.
Beth had been deployed on a couple rotations to Afghanistan. She’d gone as a volunteer on both rotations. But she hadn’t volunteered around the upcoming date of her wedding. Jonathan had, choosing his work over starting their lives together.
After calling off their wedding, Beth had canceled the venue and reception hall and forfeited half of the money she’d paid for flowers, the caterer and the photographer. She couldn’t return her dress. Nora, her only bridesmaid, couldn’t return her bridesmaid dress. They’d had to eat those costs.
Six months had passed since she’d returned Jonathan’s ring. He’d tried several times to get her to reconsider. Those attempts had been from remote locations or while he’d been in transit to his next voluntary assignment, cementing her decision. She’d begun to wonder if she’d been more in love with the idea of being married and starting a life as a married woman than she’d been in love with Jonathan.
With a sigh, she sat forward in her seat as her friend pulled the car into the parking lot of the Salty Dog Saloon and parked. Already, the parking lot was almost full, with more arriving even as Nora and Beth got out of her car.
Beth tugged the hem of her short dress downward, hoping she wasn’t flashing anyone a view of the black lace, thong panties she wore beneath. She frowned as she noted other women entering the bar wearing jeans. “I should’ve worn, jeans,” she muttered.
“But you look great in that dress. All the guys will be panting after you.”
“I don’t want to have men drooling on me like dogs,” Beth argued.
“Okay, so maybe not drooling, but they’ll be interested.” Nora shook her head. “At least, smile. You look like you want to bite someone’s head off.”
“Good.”
Nora stopped and gripped Beth’s arm. “Sweetie, I care about you and want you to be happy.”
“Then stop pushing me toward every available man.” Beth loved that Nora wanted her to be as happy as she was. Beth sighed. “Maybe I’m not ready to let go of Jonathan. Maybe I’m not ready to be happy.”
“Six months is a long time to mope, honey.” Nora squeezed her arms. “Look, I won’t push anyone in your direction if you promise to at least be open to a conversation if someone comes up to you.”
Beth stared into her friend’s hopeful face. “Okay. I’ll try to be open to a conversation, but don’t expect me to go home with anyone.”
Nora grinned and dropped her hands from Beth’s arms. “I won’t. We’ll take baby steps. That’s all I’m asking.”
Beth tugged at her dress once more and nodded. “Let’s do this. But I’m not staying past ten o’clock. And you might want to give me your keys if you plan on going home with your man.”
“Oh, I will be going home with Rucker, but he’s riding in with Dash. Rucker’s truck is in the shop. We’ll drop you off on the way.”
Beth stopped in her tracks, nearly tipping over on the impossibly high heels. “You’re telling me now? I could’ve driven my own car.”
“You would’ve chickened out. The only way I could get you to come was to drive you here myself.” Nora crossed her arms over her chest and gave her a challenging look. “I’m right, aren’t I?”
Her lips pressing tightly together, Beth wanted to tell her friend no, but Nora was correct. If she hadn’t insisted on driving, Beth wouldn’t be at the Salty Dog Saloon for the little social gathering of the Deltas. She’d have wimped out before she’d even left her apartment.
“I can catch an Uber ride back to my apartment.” Beth had brought her cellphone. That was all she needed to call for a ride back to her apartment. “No need for you to drop me off. It would be too far out of your way.”
Nora’s brow furrowed. “You’re not riding with a stranger. Don’t worry. We’ll get you back to your place.”
Yeah, but at what time? Beth squared her shoulders. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”
“That’s the attitude.” Nora rolled her eyes. “You’re putting up walls before we even get inside.”
Beth tightened her lips. “Just be glad I’m here.” She hooked her arm through Nora’s and walked through the door into the saloon, where she was immediately bombarded by the noise of people trying to talk over each other and the music.
The introvert in Beth winced.
“Oh, there’s Rucker.” Nora smiled and waved at her fiancé.
He held up one of the two drinks he had in each hand, indicating he’d already gotten her a drink.
“Go on,” Beth said. “I want to get a drink at the bar and find a quiet corner.”
Nora raised an eyebrow. “Good luck with that. This place is hopping.” She hurried through the crowd to her fiancé.
The tall, dark man engulfed her in an embrace and kissed her soundly before he let go of her.
Longing welled in Beth’s chest. Why couldn’t she find that kind of love? Jonathan had always held her at arm’s length in public, saving any displays of affection for when they were alone. But he’d been a gentle lover and had made sure she was satisfied…when they were together.
Beth turned to the bartender. “Hey, Sarge,” she greeted the bartender and owner of the Salty Dog Saloon, Jim Walker, with a smile.
“Ms. Drennan, it’s been a
while since you were here. What can I get you?” He tipped his head. “Wait, let me guess…margarita on the rocks.”
She smiled. “Not tonight. I’d like a light beer; whatever you have on tap.” Margaritas were for when she was in the mood to laugh and have fun. At the moment, she wasn’t in the mood for either.
“No margarita?” he said with a dip in his brow. “What’s wrong?”
Beth frowned. “Does anything have to be wrong for me to want a beer instead of a marg?”
Sarge chuckled. “No.” He filled a mug from the tap and set it on the counter in front of her. “Just different. You’ve never ordered a beer before.”
She sighed, curled her fingers around the handle of the mug and lifted it to take a sip. Foam coated her upper lip. Beth licked it off. “I’m just in a funky mood. I really don’t want to be here, but my friend insisted.” She looked around for a quiet table. Unfortunately, all the tables had people sitting at them.
Sarge tipped his head toward the empty stool at the far side of the bar. “If you’re looking for escape, that seat at the end of the bar is out of the way and as secluded as you can get in a crowded room.”
She gave Sarge a weak smile. “Thanks. I just don’t want to be bothered.
“Well, you came to the wrong place for that. A lone female in a bar filled with horny men…” Sarge shook his head. “You’re doomed before you start.”
“I believe you.”
Drink in hand, Beth glanced one more time at her friend, Nora, who was happily chatting with a group of young Deltas. She wouldn’t miss Beth for a while. Beth dipped her head toward Sarge, walked around a few men seated at the bar and found the only empty stool at the very end. She slid onto the wooden stool and set her beer on the counter, avoiding eye-contact with the man beside her.
Surely, if she didn’t acknowledge his presence, he wouldn’t try to strike up a conversation.
Out of the corner of her eye, she studied the man. Like the other Deltas present, he was tall, broad-shouldered and damned good-looking. He would have been tempting, had she not sworn off men.
The man lifted his chin toward Sarge. “Can I get another?”
“You bet.” Sarge poured whiskey over ice cubes and set the full glass in front of the man.
Beth had seen this man before, on a number of occasions when she’d attended functions with Nora and her fiancé, Rucker Sloan. Beth had met most of Rucker’s team, but she couldn’t remember all their names. The guy beside her had been at the last barbecue she’d gone to with Nora. Beth hadn’t spoken two words to him.
She peeked again under her lashes. If she recalled correctly, this guy’s call sign was Dawg.
The man took the drink Sarge handed him and raised it toward Beth. “Here’s to finding a quiet corner in a noisy barroom.” He tipped his drink back and took a long swallow.
Beth lifted her beer mug, raised it toward him and drank, hoping that would be the end of the conversation, since the man obviously recognized that she’d chosen the corner that was as far away from the crowd as she could get.
Dawg put his drink down and held out his hand. “I’m Doug Masters. You’re Beth Drennan, aren’t you?”
Well, damn. She wouldn’t get the peace and quiet she’d hoped for. Beth set her beer on the counter, sucked in a fortifying breath, took the extended hand and smiled tightly. “I’m Beth. I believe we’ve met before. They call you Dawg, don’t they?”
What would it hurt to talk to him? It would make Nora happy that she was engaging in a conversation with the opposite sex. And It wasn’t like she was going home with the guy.
Chapter 2
The man’s lips curved into a crooked grin, and he nodded. “Yes, they call me Dawg, for the lack of any other name more interesting. Doug…Dawg… They sound about the same…and I do have a dog. I think I’m one of the few members of our team who does.”
Beth tilted her head, strangely open to talking to this stranger who hadn’t hit her with a weary pickup line first thing. “What do you do with your dog when you’re deployed? Leave him at boarding kennel or a shelter for months at a time?”
He shook his head. “No way. Chewy wouldn’t make it in one of those places.”
“Is he too aggressive?”
Dawg chuckled. “Yes, but that’s not why. He has severe separation anxiety and is afraid of thunderstorms, vehicles backfiring and squirrels burping in the night. I keep a prescription of Xanax on hand at all times.”
“What is he, a German Shepherd, pit bull or lab?” Beth asked.
Dawg laughed, his cheeks turning a ruddy red. “Hardly. The little dude only weighs eight pounds. He’s some kind of Yorkie, chihuahua mix as far as the vet can guess. He’s all black, perky ears and fuzzy with a whole lot of attitude.”
Beth grinned. “Not what I pictured you with. How did you come to be the owner of such a small dog?”
Dawg smiled down at his glass of whiskey. “I’m not sure I’m actually his owner. I really think it’s the other way around. He owns me.”
“How did you find him?”
“I didn’t. He found me.” Dawg took another sip of his whiskey. “He was wandering around on the street near my house. He ended up making a little den beneath one of the bushes in front of my house and slept there at night. One morning I came out, and this little creature darted out from the bushes. Scared the daylights out of me. I thought he was a rat.”
“As small as he was, I’m sure he looked like one,” Beth said.
“Yes, he did. But he wasn’t eight pounds then. He was only three pounds. All skin, bones and fur. Not much more than a puppy. He was covered in fleas. It took me a week sitting out on the porch in the evening with a bowl of dog food before he’d get close enough for me to reach out and touch him. It took another week before he let me pet him. After that, he moved right in. I treated his fleas, worms and every other parasite that was feasting on his little body. I put him on a diet of healthy food. That little rat ballooned up to eight pounds within a few months. And he sticks to me like glue.”
Beth had hoped to be left alone. But after listening to Dawg talk about his little Yorkie mix, she was at ease with the man. He hadn’t asked her any questions about herself; he hadn’t hit on her or tried to get into her pants. This man really did care for his dog. She found that kind of adorable.
“If he suffers such terrible separation anxiety, what do you do with him when you go out to eat or have to work during the day?”
“He sleeps all day while I’m at work. I have a pet cam set up in my house so I can watch out for him during the day while I’m gone. When I go out at night or when I’m deployed, he stays with my next door neighbor. She feeds him treats and lets him sleep with her at night.”
Up to that point, Beth had been enchanted with the big, tough Delta who had a thing for his rescue dog. The mention of another woman gave her pause. “She must be a good friend,” Beth said, “to take your dog at the drop of a hat.”
Dawg nodded. “She is. And I think she enjoys having Chewy come visit, since she lives alone. She’s dog sitting now.”
Not that it was any of her business, but Beth had to ask, “Why didn’t you bring her with you?”
Dawg’s brow wrinkled. “Chewy or my neighbor?”
Beth shrugged, trying to look like she didn’t really care, though she did…strangely. “Both or either.”
“Chewy gets nervous in crowded environments. Sometimes he gets so nervous, he pees on people.”
Beth couldn’t help the smile that tilted her lips.
“My neighbor doesn’t get out much. At eighty years old, she’d be worn out pretty quickly in a bar. Although I don’t think the noise would bother her.” He grinned. “She’s mostly deaf.”
Feeling suddenly happier, Beth smiled. “Being deaf would be an advantage in this place.” She sipped the last of her beer before she realized she’d drank the whole mug while Dawg had been talking. She was actually glad Dawg hadn’t tried to pick her up.
Th
e man glanced down at his watch and looked around at the folks there for the hail and farewell. “I guess I better make my rounds. I can’t keep Mrs. Doherty too late. I want to pick up Chewy.” He held out an elbow. “Would you care to make my rounds with me? I’d appreciate an excuse to be leaving earlier than anyone else. The guys give me hell for going home to my dog.”
“And how would I be an excuse to leave early?” Beth’s eyes rounded. “You want to tell your friends that we’re leaving together?”
Dawg gave her a crooked grin. “Come to think of it…” Then he shook his head. “Never mind. My apologies for insulting you. Did you ride with Nora?”
She dipped her head. “I did. But I told her I’d hire a car to get me home.”
“So, are you leaving now?”
She smiled and nodded. “I think so. After I make my rounds.”
Dawg shook his head. “I take it you didn’t really want to come to this shindig.”
Beth nodded.
“Is this kind of event not your thing?”
Beth lifted a shoulder and let it fall. “No, it’s not that. It’s just that she’s trying to get me back into the dating scene. I’m just not ready.”
Doug winced. “Bad break up?”
She shrugged. “Not really.”
“Did he dump you?” Before she could answer his eyes widened. “No, he cheated on you.”
“Not really,” she said.
His brow furrowed. “How can somebody not really cheat on you?”
Beth smiled. “He didn’t cheat on me with another woman.”
Dawg grinned. “Did he cheat on you with another man?”
“No,” Beth said, giving him a mock glare. “He didn’t cheat on me. He just chose his career over our relationship.”
“Sounds like a Delta.” He heaved a heavy sigh. “We have to go when the boss tells us. I guess that means you and me getting together is out of the question.”
“No,” Beth said.
Dawg grinned. “No, you and me aren’t out of the question, or no, he wasn’t a Delta?”
She laughed. “No, he didn’t leave me high and dry except when he deployed. And I was okay with him deploying. Just not volunteering to deploy two weeks before our wedding.”
