“But how do you expect to even find these hunters? They don’t exactly advertise their activities.”
Jeffrey eyed her slowly up and down. “I won’t. You will.”
* * *
“A Berserker, two Arctic Devils, and three Duck Farts.” Haley rolled her eyes as she called out the order to the bartender.
She’d thought her waitressing days were over when she’d left San Jacinto, but here she was, dressed as a nineteenth-century saloon girl in a smoke-filled bar in the middle of nowhere. She could barely breathe from all the cigars and cigarettes. At almost eight bucks a pack in Alaska, you’d think people would give it up.
Her mission hadn’t proven as difficult as she’d first thought. The Hole in the Wall Saloon catered to the beer-swilling, Duck Fart–shooting, big-money hunters from the Lower 48 who’d drop seven to ten grand without batting an eye just for a chance at big game.
Although winter days in Alaska were short and unbearably cold, the darkness and frigid temperatures didn’t keep people from the bars. If anything, it seemed to foster social drinking, and drinking encouraged talk. Over the past weeks she’d compiled an entire notepad filled with places, dates, and times. It was only a matter of weeks before the days would be long enough for these would-be wolf hunters to take to the skies.
While Haley gathered information, Jeffrey had returned to California to hire a film crew. With several California legislators friendly to conservation, all they needed was video evidence to garner legislative support. Although she’d hoped to be home for Christmas, and missed her grandparents and the California sun, she told herself that her future required sacrificing certain creature comforts for the greater good.
Haley filled three frosty mugs from the tap while the bartender topped the trio of shooters with Crown Royal. “Thanks, Mike.” She offered a smile, adjusted her corset, and then scooped up the tray. She delivered the drinks with a forced smile, endured a lewd joke and a slap on the ass, and then moved on to bus the next table.
She was on her break when her phone vibrated. Her pulse sped. Jeffrey said he’d try to return to spend Christmas with her. Maybe she wouldn’t be alone for the holidays after all.
Her heart sank when she didn’t recognize the number. She debated whether to answer, but it was a California area code. Her next thought was for her grandparents. Maybe something had happened? “Hello?” she answered tentatively, half-braced for bad news.
“Merry Christmas,” replied a deep, velvety baritone.
Was her imagination playing tricks? It couldn’t be him after all this time.
“Who is this?” she asked.
“It’s Reid.”
“Reid?” she repeated dumbly. “You’re back? You’re safe?”
“Yeah. Just arrived in Wyoming, actually.”
“So you’re spending Christmas with your family? I’m glad.”
“Thanks. I took a detour to San Jacinto hoping to convince you to come with me.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. I thought you might like to see Wyoming. I also hoped we could make up for some lost time. I’ve waited a long time, Haley… I’ve been looking forward to seeing you again.”
She swallowed hard. What could she say to that? She’d been so busy that Reid had hardly entered her thoughts. She hadn’t heard from him in months and had thought herself long over her infatuation until she’d heard his voice again. The timbre alone awakened something she’d nearly forgotten.
“I met your grandparents,” he continued. “I like them… I think they liked me, too.”
“They would,” she replied dryly. “Gramps and I aren’t exactly politically aligned.”
Reid chuckled. “No wonder he and I hit it off. Personal politics aside, it’s clear that they love you very much. They miss you too.”
His words made her heart ache for home. “I love and miss them too.”
“But you’re not coming home for the holidays?”
“No. I can’t. What I’m doing here is too important.” She saw no point in divulging more to someone who had at least one foot in the enemy camp.
A brief silence followed. “I thought you’d set your sights on vet school. Seems you’ve veered pretty far from that plan.”
“Maybe not as far as you think,” she said. “I’m still helping animals, just wild ones now instead of pets.”
“How is it going?” he asked. “Do you like it there?”
“Well enough, I suppose, but not enough to stay permanently, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“So you plan to come back?”
“Eventually, yes.”
“I want to see you.”
“But why?” she asked.
“Do I need a reason? I just do. Why did you reply to my emails?”
“I don’t know.” She twirled a lock of hair. “It just seemed rude to ignore them under the circumstances.”
“It’s more than that,” he insisted.
“Look, Reid. I’m truly glad that you’re home safe, but there’s no point in us seeing each other.”
“Why not?”
“It doesn’t make any sense when you’ll just be leaving again.”
“But not for another six months. Why can’t we just see where it goes in the meantime?”
“Because this is crazy. We hardly know each other. We met only once almost two years ago.”
“Nineteen months,” he corrected. “But who’s counting?”
“That’s my point,” she argued. “And we’ve not seen each other since.”
“That’s what I want to rectify. I want us to get to know each other. We need some time together just to talk. Come to Wyoming and spend Christmas with me.”
“I can’t, Reid. Even if I wanted to. I have a job here and responsibilities. They’re all counting on me. But even if I could, this thing between us can’t go anywhere. I’m too busy to get involved with anyone at this point in my life. I have plans that are going to require all my time and energy.”
“I can respect that,” he said. “My job is a big strain on my resources too.”
“Yes,” she said. “I imagine it is.”
“But you still shouldn’t be alone for Christmas, Haley. We have plenty of wolves out here too. I’ll even drive you out to Yellowstone to see them. Say the word and I’ll buy your ticket.”
For a few crazy seconds she actually considered it, but then reason returned. “No, Reid. I can’t.”
“It’s your boss, right? That professor guy? He won’t let you leave?”
“It’s not that, exactly.”
“Is he there with you?”
“No,” she replied. “He went back to California.”
“And left you alone in Alaska?”
“He had important business to take care of.”
“Are you involved with him?”
“That’s none of your business,” she snapped.
Although shared politics and common values had originally brought them together, Jeffrey had recently hinted about taking their relationship in a more personal direction. She’d thought about it a lot lately.
“That’s answer enough,” Reid said. “He’s not the one for you. He’s a jackass.”
“How the hell would you know that? You’ve never even met him.”
“He left you there alone. That says everything. He’s not right for you. When do you come home?” he asked.
“I don’t know for certain. It’ll still be a couple of months yet. Probably early April,” she answered his question without knowing why.
“Good. I’ll still be around.” She could almost hear the smile in his voice. “I’ll be waiting for you, Haley Cooper.”
“Good-bye, Reid.” Haley ended the call feeling dazed and confused.
His doggedness was flattering. No one had ever shown th
at kind of interest in her before, but she resented how his words had roused her own feelings of self-pity and loneliness. She also hated that he made her feel unsure of Jeffrey, a man who’d offered nothing but encouragement and support. Reid, on the other hand, made her question almost everything she believed in.
She still couldn’t deny her attraction to Reid, but it could never be enough to overcome their incompatibility. Nevertheless, late that night, in the darkest and loneliest hours, it wasn’t thoughts of Jeffrey, but a tall cowboy with sky-blue eyes that heated her body and haunted her dreams.
* * *
Dubois, Wyoming, the same night
Reid had stepped outside to escape the sudden crushing sensation in his chest. He’d never suffered claustrophobia before, but the music, the laughter, the smells, and the questions he wasn’t ready to answer were like sensory overload. His family all just carried on like normal, but he couldn’t. He almost wished he hadn’t come home. It was just too much, too soon after his deployment.
He sucked in a breath, filling his lungs with frosty air and then shut his eyes in a silent prayer for all the guys who’d never see another Christmas. Bravo company had arrived in Kuwait with 185 men; a quarter of them would never return to their families. His platoon had been among those hit the hardest. They’d accomplished their mission but had paid a heavy price in blood.
He took a long swig of his beer.
A moment later he’d dialed his phone. He hadn’t even thought about it. He’d just wanted to hear her voice. The conversation was short, even a bit terse. He’d felt her resistance about seeing him again, but in the end she hadn’t actually said no. He pocketed his phone with a smile.
“Hey you! The party’s inside.” Tonya sat down beside him, drink in hand. She rested the other one on his thigh. Her touch and voice were light, as if testing the waters.
He tensed slightly but couldn’t think of a tactful way to get away from her.
“Who was that on the phone?” she asked.
“A friend.” He decided just to play it cool. Tonya wasn’t dumb. She’d eventually get the hint.
Her black brows arched, but she didn’t press that line of questioning. Instead, she tilted her head skyward and released a long sigh. “I love the cold weather, don’t you? It lights up the night. The sky seems darker, and the stars more intense. And I love the snow too, walking in it, skiing on it, and even catching the flakes on my tongue. Did you miss it much, Reid?”
“Yes, I did. I hate the desert.”
“Then why did you go? Your family’s outfitting business is doing well. Better than well. There’s a whole new lot of oil barons coming in from the Dakotas.”
“I’m doing what I was called to do. If you don’t understand that by now, you never will.”
She shrugged. “I was hoping you’d be back for Christmas. We really need to talk, Reid.”
“That so? Then why didn’t you just text me?”
“Ouch.” She winced. “I’m sorry about that. More than I can say, Reid, but I just didn’t know how else to break it off. I was afraid that if I called you, I wouldn’t be able to do it, and that wouldn’t have been fair to either of us.”
“At least it was clean. I’ll give you that much,” he replied with a dry laugh.
Although it had hurt like hell when she’d dumped him, he was over it now. Over her. Utterly and completely. He resented that his well-meaning but misguided sister had invited his ex for the Christmas Eve family gathering. Then again, he should have expected it, given that Krista had set them up to begin with. She and Tonya had been best friends forever. It was only natural that she’d want to see them reconcile, but he had no interest whatsoever in resurrecting the dead relationship.
“It was a mistake,” she insisted. “I realize that now. I was lonely and resentful, Reid. At least I was honest about it. I didn’t cheat on you.”
“You think I wasn’t lonely?” he countered.
“But it was your decision to leave. I had no part in it, and then you went and signed on for another four years.”
“I did it because we’re not done over there yet,” he said. “Would you turn over a half-broke colt for use on the trails?”
“Of course not. I’d finish the job.”
“Same here. I’m damn well going to finish what I signed on to do.”
“But you extended your time without even discussing it with me. Of course I was angry. Did you expect me to wait forever?”
“No. That’s why I bought a ring.”
“A ring?” Her brown eyes widened. She visibly swallowed. “You did? When?”
“A few weeks before your text. I was going to surprise you on my next leave.” He shrugged. “Look, there’s no point in rehashing it all.”
“But I think there is. Do you have any idea what it’s like watching the news and hearing about all those guys getting blown to pieces? That’s what I was afraid of. You risk life and limb with every deployment. I wanted all of you, Reid, not some lesser, broken version.”
“So you’d just scratch that line that says ‘in sickness and in health’?”
“Don’t twist my meaning, Reid. Maybe I was being selfish, but I still want you. Can’t we just start over?” She set down her glass of wine on the porch rail and turned to face him, running both hands up his thighs, before settling on his lap, arms twined around his neck. “It was really good between us once, wasn’t it?”
“Maybe once, but that’s in the past now, Ton.” He lifted her back onto her feet. “You’re the one who broke it off. Not me.”
“But here we are, both still free, aren’t we?”
He didn’t answer. Yeah, technically he was free, and she was still the same Tonya, but the attraction he’d felt was gone. Dead as dirt.
She glanced at the phone in his hand. “Or was that more than just a friend?”
“Not yet,” he replied. “But I have hope.”
“Really?” Her lips curved into the slow, sexy smile that had once dazzled him but now had little effect. “Then so do I.”
Chapter 8
San Jacinto, California
Haley had barely dropped her duffel and backpack before her grandma folded her in a smothering hug. “Sweetheart! We’re so glad you’re finally back!”
“I’m glad to be home too, Grams, but it’s only for a couple of weeks. I’ve enrolled for the summer semester to try and make up for the nine months I spent in Alaska.”
“But weren’t you working on research while you were there?”
“Yes,” she said. “And I’ll get some special credit for it, but I still have another year to finish my undergrad degree. The good news is I’ve just been offered a position with the Wolf Recovery Alliance. They’re studying wolves in all the national parks.”
“So this is a paid position?” Gramps asked.
She pursed her lips. “Well…not exactly. It’s still voluntary, but there is a stipend. What matters is how it’ll look on my CV. I’m certain it will help get me into the master’s program at Montana State.”
He eyed her skeptically. “Sweetheart, while I fully understand a young person’s yen for adventure, are you really certain this is the career direction you wish to take?”
“Yes,” she insisted. Her work with the wolves had given her a feeling of purpose she’d never known before. “I’ve never been more certain of anything. You have no idea what it’s like to be out there in the wild. Wolves are unlike any other beings, Gramps. They’re affectionate, monogamous in their mating, and will die to protect their pack. They even mourn the loss of their loved ones. In some ways, I almost think they’re superior to us.”
“We appreciate your passion, Haley,” Grams interjected. “But perhaps you could work with wild animals in a more practical setting? How about in a zoo? They hire veterinarians, don’t they? All those creatures need care, and San Diego
has a lovely zoo.”
“But they’re captive, Grams, don’t you see? Sure, they get food and medical care, but so do people in prison. It’s a miserable life for them. How could I ever be part of that?”
“But you could have a normal life,” her grandmother suggested with a look of concern.
“It’s my life, isn’t it? Shouldn’t I be allowed to decide? And what’s normal anyway, Grams? Maybe the wilderness is not what you would want, but living close to nature is normal for thousands of people.”
“You want to be one of them? With no electricity? No plumbing?” Gramps shook his head. “Why on earth would anyone want to go back to the Stone Age?”
“Maybe technology hasn’t advanced society as much as you think it has. Our lives are so rushed that no one takes time out to care about anything or anyone anymore. That’s what impressed me most about the wolves, how they look after one another.”
“So you’re saying you want to give up your car, laptop, and iPhone?” Gramps asked. “All for the betterment of society, of course.”
Haley flushed. “That’s not fair, Gramps. You know I need those things. How can I finish school otherwise?”
“But sweetheart, you just said…”
“You’re missing my whole point!”
“Then maybe you can explain it to me a little better?”
Haley exhaled a big sigh. “I’m just saying I want to make a positive impact in the world.”
“That’s admirable, Haley,” Grams interjected. “But perhaps you should take some time to think all this through. There are many careers that could give you a similar feeling of satisfaction. How about something in medicine? Nurses make a difference every day.”
“The universities are full of nursing students,” Haley argued. “But how many people are fighting to save the environment? Our wildlife? You can’t even begin to understand the magnitude of the issues until you’ve seen them with your own eyes. That’s why we’re making a documentary—to show the world what’s really happening.”
“Haley,” her grandpa began, “you know we love you and have always encouraged you to follow your dreams, but this time—”
Sharp Shootin' Cowboy Page 6
