by J. S. Lee
The rest was raw ingredients: chicken, fish, eel, vegetables, tofu… I had no objection to eating any of them. I just didn’t know how to cook any of them. After staring hopelessly at them, I glanced over at the leftover breakfast. I had said I would cook, not reheat. Ramyun counted, right? I pulled a pot from the cupboard.
“Is that what you call cooking?”
I glanced over at Sungmin. Now he was in the light and I could see him properly, I had to fight not to wince. It had only been a few days, but he looked thin; gaunt. He’d put makeup on to cover his scar, but it was clear that makeup wasn’t his forte. It wasn’t quite the right shade and it was pasted on quite thickly. It also did nothing to hide the fact the other half of his face seemed almost gray in comparison.
“I have rice cooking,” I said, pointing at the rice cooker.
Sungmin walked over to peer into the pot. “And you think that goes with ramyun?”
I shrugged. “You Koreans eat kimchi and rice with everything.”
“I didn’t leave that bedroom to eat ramyun.” Sungmin moved to the side and inspected the breakfast tray. “What’s wrong with this?”
“You tell me,” I shrugged. “You haven’t eaten it for the last few days.” When Sungmin shot me a look, I shrugged again. “I said I would cook.”
“Reheating this is no different from pouring hot water on dried noodles. At least this is more nutritious.” Sungmin moved around the kitchen, reheating some of the items, stirring some, and replacing others. Finally, he carried everything over to the table, including a second portion for me.
It wasn’t until he had set it on the table that I had realized one of the bowls was for me, otherwise I would have told him I had already eaten. While he poured a glass of water and drank it, I sat in the chair and eyed the food. It smelt as delicious as it had earlier, but I wasn’t hungry.
Sungmin drank two glasses of water before he started poking at the food. His bites were small to start with, and then slowly, he worked his way through his bowl. “Aren’t you eating?”
I shook my head. “I got up and had breakfast with everyone.”
Sungmin’s spoon hovered in the air, inches for his mouth, and then he set it back in the bowl. “I can’t face them, Kate.”
“Who?” I asked. “Onyx?”
“She left me at the altar, in front of everyone.”
“That makes her the bitch, not you,” I promptly told him. “And the guys, and me, aren’t judging anyone but her.” Judging was an understatement as to how I felt, but I didn’t quite know the words to explain the pure rage I was feeling and the desire to go to her house and dump kimchi over her head. “We all care about you. We also want you to join us on tour.”
“I’m not sure,” Sungmin muttered, his gaze dropping.
“It’s going to be more than two weeks out of Korea. You can’t tell me a trip away wouldn’t be amazing about now. You can relax and put it all out of your mind.”
Sungmin’s gaze snapped up to me. “At what point do you consider managing you and Onyx as relaxing?”
“We’re not that bad!” I objected.
Sungmin cocked his head, saying nothing while giving me a pointed look.
“Whatever,” I muttered, reaching over and grabbing a piece of radish. I stuck it on his food. “Just eat up.”
We ate in silence. I wasn’t going to force conversation, worried it was going to scare Sungmin back into his room. Once we had finished, I gathered up the dirty dishes and started washing them. I hadn’t expected Sungmin to join me, but suddenly, he was at my side with a dish towel.
The sudden appearance made me jump and my hand shot through the water. I let out a yelp of pain as the palm of my barely healed hand was sliced by a knife. My hand was out of the water, dripping blood everywhere as I grabbed the towel Sungmin was holding.
“What happened?” he cried, reaching for my hand and trying to pull the towel away. “Kate, that’s not clean!”
I clung onto it. “The other option is bleeding all over the kitchen floor!” I snapped, before biting my lip at the pain.
“Stay there,” Sungmin instructed me, running out of the kitchen.
I wasn’t planning on going exploring Seoul, but I did move – over to the dining table so I could sit down as dizziness washed over me. The towel was already turning red. I lifted my hand just above my shoulder. I was sure this was supposed to work, but all it was doing was making blood run down my arm.
“Good: you elevated it.” Sungmin hurried back over, carrying a first aid kit. With careful movements, he took items out of the box, and then reached for my hand. The moment the towel was taken away, I was hit with another wave of pain and dizziness. I hissed. “This needs a doctor.”
“I’m not-”
“You’re going to the doctor,” Sungmin cut me off. “This needs stitches and you need antibiotics.”
“Then, can you take me instead of an ambulance?” I asked, watching as Sungmin bound my hand up in a bandage.
“Kate…”
“Please,” I begged.
“Ok,” he conceded, tying the bandage off. “Can you walk?”
“I cut my hand, not my foot,” I told him, standing. I was promptly hit with a dizzy spell. Fuck,” I muttered, my unbandaged hand reaching out for Sungmin.
Sungmin took it, draping it around his shoulder. “You’re not going to let me carry you, are you?”
I turned my head and arched an eyebrow.
Sungmin let out a long suffering sigh and led me down to his car.
제 11 장
Long Flight
Three stitches, another prescription of antibiotics, and more bandages on my hand. It was as if the universe was trying not to let my hand heal. By the time we were supposed to leave on tour, the doctor had agreed I could remove the bandage and replace it with a band aid until the stitches disintegrated on their own. But he was adamant I needed to finish course of horse-pill sized antibiotics.
The day before we flew out to start the tour, Taeyoon collected the members of Onyx to take them back to their official dorm to pack. By now, most of their things were in the house, so it was a case of packing that, and as MinMin texted me, unpacking it all in the dorm so they could repack it in front of the staff.
I hadn’t acquired many more items than when I’d arrived back in Korea from the European tour. There were a few keepsakes which I had found a home for in my bedroom but otherwise, it was almost everything going back into my suitcase.
The dates and locations had been announced. Honestly, I had no idea how K-pop fans coped with so little notice when it came to concerts. How the hell did you save up and arrange time off work or school when you were told less than a month before they were going to arrive?
The last leg of the tour had been rescheduled to include all of the same locations as Onyx were supposed to go on the previous schedule: Mexico City, Sao Paulo, Salvador, Buenos Aires, and Lima. The only difference was that we were heading west instead of east. Our first date was in Poland to complete the missed show there.
I stared down at my iPad and the copy of the schedule that had been emailed over to me. There was a stop in London for a couple of days before we flew to Mexico, but no explanation. The same for a stop in L.A. on the way back, and then the very last show – a reschedule of the one Onyx were supposed to have in Seoul.
Although things had stayed quiet in Korea, as an added precaution, I had been asked by Holly to arrive at the airport and check in before the others and meet them at the gate.
I was glad I had. The car dropped me off at the terminal just before check-in opened and there was already a small crowd of fans gathered. At least they looked happy.
Onyx and the crew arrived an hour after I had reached the gate. By the time they cleared security, it was almost time to board. The crowd of people was bigger than last time with a couple of extra faces I didn’t recognize.
Sungmin walked over to me, “I need to introduce you to Baek Ahreum and Park Dongjun.”
“How does it feel to be back at work?” I asked as he led me over to the new members of the team. After finally getting out of the bedroom, although he had seemed anxious when Onyx had returned home – something very out of character for Sungmin – he had started to spend time with all of us. Seeing as he would have been on his honeymoon, he didn’t go into the office. In fact, he spent the entire time in the house with me, making sure he was around to help out until my bandages had been removed from my hand.
Not once was Moonhee’s name mentioned.
“Everyone on this tour has been an employee for many years,” Sungmin continued. It was as if he hadn’t just spent over nearly two weeks living with us. “But we have made them all sign very strict NDAs for this leg and given them no explanation for it. It’s just myself and Taeyoon who know about you and Onyx and I want to keep it that way. Understood?”
I kept my gaze on Sungmin’s trying to avoid looking at his scar. There wasn’t a single day he hadn’t come out of the room without makeup on, and it was always that shade out. I hadn’t said anything, and neither had any of the others. Right now, I was trying hard not to stare at it in case it left him feeling self-conscious, but it was a very obvious reminder of what could happen if the world found out. Non-disclosure agreements or not, his instruction was valid. It also wasn’t threatening – it was a request.
No, it was a plea.
“I will do my best,” I promised him.
I wasn’t sure if Onyx had also been told the same thing by Sungmin, but for the rest of the wait at the gate, I made a conscious effort not to sit anywhere near to Onyx, even making sure not to be on my phone at the same time as them.
Ina’s replacement, Ahreum, was a bubbly woman. She was obviously aware of what had happened with Ina, but she was taking it in her stride, already up to speed on each member’s styles and preferences.
Dongjun, by comparison, had buddied himself up with Taeyoon, which, given the surly personality of the latter, I could tell they would be a match made in heaven. Dongjun had had one thing to say to me when I’d been introduced to him; “At least Atlantis doesn’t have to worry about rumors of me sleeping with the group,” without a trace of humor.
The flight to Warsaw was fourteen hours long. I was sat next to Sungmin like I had most of the other flights, but this time, it felt like I was sitting by myself. He barely spoke to me.
I was trying hard not to be upset about that. Before we had left this morning, I had thought that things had changed between me and him. Nothing earth-shattering, but enough to feel comfortable around each other; dare I say it, friends.
Now, an ice-cold exterior had wrapped around Sungmin, like he was taking the professional relationship to the extreme. It made the flight seem twice as long.
The only moment of short-lived interaction was from Xiao about ten hours in. It was the equivalent of late evening in Seoul, and many people had fallen asleep. I’d glanced up from the movie I had been watching and found him turned in his seat to face me.
When his gaze caught mine, he briefly looked around, and then, slowly, he pointed at me, and then himself. Just when I was beginning to think he was offering to swap seats and let me sit next to JongB for a while, he held up his finger and thumb, creating a circle. Then, with his other hand poked a finger in and out.
I pursed my lips as I shook my head.
Xiao cocked his head back at me, and then replaced the single finger with two, repeating the motion. He lowered one hand and used the other to point at the airplane bathrooms. This wasn’t the first time he’d tried to get me to join the Mile-High Club.
For half a second, I was tempted.
And then Sungmin leaned over and whacked Xiao around the back of his head with his inflight magazine.
One day.
By the time we had landed, cleared customs and gotten our bags – Onyx had gone on to the apartment with Sungmin and Taeyoon, leaving the rest of us to handle the two dozen checked cases between us – it was dinner time. With my mind on food, I was surprised when we stepped out of the minivan which had collected us and found we were staying at the same apartment we had stayed at last time.
I was tired from the travel, but also, I was hungry. I dropped my bags off in my room – the same one I’d had last time – and hurried down the stairs.
“The others have already gone across to get us a table,” Taeyoon declared as I reached the door. Dongjun was waiting with him. I looked around for Ahreum and Eunhae. “They went for groceries,” Taeyoon told me, knowing who I was looking for.
I followed the two men to the small Polish restaurant we had eaten at the last time we had been in Warsaw. My mood picked up as I slipped between JongB and MinMin at the table, and a bottle of beer was pushed my way. “I need this,” I muttered. I took a large mouthful, enjoying the feeling of the crisp liquid running down my throat.
“Did you get all the cases OK?” Xiao asked from opposite me.
“Yes,” Dongjun replied. “We have put everyone’s personal cases into their rooms.”
I dropped my gaze back to me beer, just in case something in my expression gave away my slight annoyance. As well as putting my own suitcase in my room, I’d put half of Onyx’s in theirs too. I had no objection to that. It was the sarcastic comment from Taeyoon that had accompanied it. “Just because you know where they sleep doesn’t mean you should be joining them.”
The food was as good as it had been the previous time and it put me in a better mood. It also had the unusual effect of waking me up instead of putting me in a food coma.
“Does anyone want to play Monopoly?” CX suddenly asked. The plates had been cleared away and we were in the process of finishing off our drinks when he asked us.
“Monopoly?” Dongjun repeated, confused. “What is that?”
“It’s like Blue Marble,” JongB explained as CX squeezed out from behind the table to the shelves in the back of the restaurant. In Blue Marble they played for cities instead of streets, according to CX, but it was very similar. He returned with the board, grinning.
As he opened the board up and put it in the middle of the table, Jiwon leaned over and scowled at it. “Can you even read that?”
While the game had retained its name in translation, all of the street names were written in Polish instead of English.
“We got drunk and made the names up,” MinMin shrugged. We’d also made the Chance and Community Chest cards up too.
“I’m out,” Jiwon said, pulling a face. He stood, yawning. “You be weird and play board games. I’m going to bed.”
“I would suggest that we all do,” Sungmin said, giving the maknae line a pointed look.
“But hyungnim,” JongB whined. He pouted at him and I had to turn away not to snort my mouthful of beer everywhere. If he used that look on me, I’d have given in, but it was wasted on his manager.
“Actually, I think it sounds fun,” Dongjun agreed. “I loved playing Blue Marble with my family on rainy Sunday evenings.”
Once again, I found myself staring at the table. I was willing to bet he was a sore loser.
“I think I want to go to bed,” Sungmin muttered. “It was a long flight.”
It had been a long flight, and I knew he hadn’t slept on the plane, and under normal circumstances I wouldn’t have questioned his response, but he had just spent two weeks hiding out at our place. But this was Poland and not Korea, so I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he really was tired. He stood. “I will settle the bill.” He walked over to the small bar.
“Who else is staying?” CX asked, holding up a pile of Monopoly money, ready to share it out.
“Are you serious?” Xiao asked, arching an eyebrow. “Couldn’t you play poker instead?”
“There are no cards over there,” CX replied.
“I want to put some finishing touches to my mixtape,” Youngbin said.
“Oooh, how is that coming, hyung?”
The moment the question was out of JongB�
�s mouth, I pointedly stared at the bottle in front of me.
“I’d say it’s coming quite nicely,” Youngbin responded.
He saw the opportunity and took it.
I sneaked a look at the others at the table, but none seemed to pick up on his innuendo – including JongB. My gaze drifted to the group’s leader and found him staring at me. Damnit… “I’m staying,” I told CX. Youngbin didn’t look the slightest bit phased.
“This place had a gym, didn’t it?” Xiao asked, his question seeming too innocent given the heat in my cheeks.
“What about you, Taeyoon?” Dongjun asked.
Taeyoon’s attention flickered over to the bar where Sungmin was limping back to the table, his gaze finally settling on me. “I think I will stay for a while.”
The last time we had been here, he had returned to the apartment with everyone else and hadn’t witnessed that we had genuinely played Monopoly for most of the night. Clearly, he thought we were going to strip and have sex on the table, but I was down for a game. I had really enjoyed myself last time, despite how ‘normal’ it seemed.
I reached over and picked up the boat, setting it on the board. “Dibs on the boat.”
“OK, I’m going before I fall asleep for the sheer boredom,” Youngbin muttered getting to his feet.
The ones who had decided to leave, gathered their things and left with him as CX dealt out the money.
For the first game, Taeyoon barely took his eyes off me. Even when he was talking to Dongjun about the last, failed, concert in Poland, he kept sending me suspicious looks. I somehow refrained from rolling my eyes, instead keeping up with the drinks CX was bringing over and trying my best to persuade MinMin to sell me one of the green properties.
He didn’t. He ended up winning the game.
“Let’s play again,” CX declared, even though he had been the first one to go bankrupt.
“Again?” Taeyoon repeated, watching CX in disbelief as he gathered all the houses and hotels back up to return to the small pile. “No. Thank you. I’m… again?”
