by J. S. Lee
I burst out laughing. “You’re not pure. I’ve seen the body rolls you guys do in some of your songs. But equally, you’re not Jay Park. Maybe just turn those noises down a little…”
Youngbin stared at me in amusement while I squirmed uncomfortably under his gaze. “I don’t know if I should be offended or complimented by that-”
“Complimented.”
“- But don’t worry; I’ve already turned you down a little. I wanted to make it a little less obvious that it’s you.”
There was a hammering at the door. “Breakfast!” Taeyoon yelled.
“I’ll be down in a minute!” I shouted back.
Youngbin leaned over and kissed my nose, and then he extracted himself from my bed. “Now I need to work out how to get out of here without being noticed.”
While Youngbin got dressed into the clothes he had turned up in the night before, I pulled out fresh ones from my suitcase and changed too. With my hair in a messy bun, mascara and eyeliner as my only makeup, I turned to Youngbin. “You’d better let me go first.”
“Always.”
We were only fifteen minutes late to breakfast and no one noticed that Youngbin slipped into his seat only minutes after I did. I was halfway through my scrambled eggs, avoiding the black thing on my plate which was apparently a pudding, but most definitely didn’t look or taste like a pudding, when I turned to Sungmin who was sitting a few seats away from me. “I need to miss out on the photoshoot today. I need to finish up the photographs from the Warsaw concert.”
Sungmin nodded. “I’m not going. You need to let Taeyoon know not to wait for you after breakfast.”
“Why not?” JongB demanded. He was sitting beside Sungmin and had instantly started listening in as soon as I spoke. His question, however, was directed at his manager. Aside from after the accident this was the first time that I had witnessed Sungmin not attend a schedule.
“Taeyoon can handle it,” he said.
That wasn’t an answer.
It also sent alarm bells ringing in my head.
As we had arrived late for breakfast, it was a short affair as Onyx had to leave for the photoshoot. They would be going straight to the airport – I’d overheard Taeyoon declare that Sungmin and I would ensure the cases were on the minibuses which would take us to Heathrow after the shoot.
Wonderful – that was a lot of cases for just us, and one of us was still recovering from an accident. My guess, judging from the way Taeyoon had looked at Sungmin, was that this was a last-minute change to the plans.
The alarm bells got louder.
The only other person who stayed behind was Dongjun – as the photoshoot was providing their own photographer, there was no need for either of us to be there. As soon as the minibus disappeared with everyone else, Dongjun said goodbye and left the hotel.
I watched him leave, and then turned to Sungmin, only to see the elevator closing with him inside. I sucked in a deep breath and headed up to my room – in a separate elevator.
It took me a couple of hours to finish the photographs and I uploaded them onto the server, satisfied with my work.
And now I had another job to do.
Grabbing my jacket and my purse, I left my room and moved two doors down where I knocked on Sungmin’s door until he opened it with a glower. “Can’t you see the sign?” he asked, pointing at the ‘do not disturb’ tag hanging from the handle.
I glanced down, pulled it off the door, and then tossed it down the corridor. “Nope.”
“What do you want, Kate?”
“I really want to see Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament.”
Sungmin looked less than impressed. “Then go and see them.”
He started to close the door on me. I had gone with no plan and maybe I should have turned up on his door a little more prepared. “And I want you to come with me.” Sungmin let out a long sigh as he turned back to me. “Please?” I added.
“We only have a few hours before we need to be back here.”
“I don’t care!” A few of hours outside was better than nothing.
There was another sigh. “You’re not going to let up, are you?”
I shook my head, but I gave him a bright smile. “I’ve been told that’s a charming personality quirk.”
“Stubbornness?”
“You call it stubborn,” I shrugged. “I call it determined.”
“I’m getting my coat.” Sungmin walked off, but he didn’t shut the door in my face. I waited just away from the doorway, trying to keep the frown from my face. Sungmin wasn’t Sungmin. I knew why he was acting like he was, but I hated seeing this.
“Where are we going?” Sungmin asked, reappearing suddenly. He shut the door and looked at me expectantly.
“I had a longer list, but as time is short, I thought we could walk along the Thames to the Houses of Parliament and see Big Ben.” At Sungmin’s expression, I nearly wrapped my arm around his, just to make sure he didn’t disappear back into his room, but I refrained. Thankfully, he followed me to the elevator and outside.
It was a cool day, and dangerously dark clouds hung overhead, but it was dry. London was busy, but I was so used to being in cities, that all the people on the streets didn’t phase me. Instead, checking periodically to make sure Sungmin was behind me when the crowds got too thick, I led the way to the Thames, following my map app.
Along the riverbank was a pedestrian walkway that followed the river in either direction. It was also a lot less busy. Sungmin fell into step beside me, standing in silence as we looked over the river. Finally he looked at me and arched an eyebrow. “Isn’t that the Shard?” he asked, pointing at a tall glass building on the opposite bank.
I nodded. “I think so. That’s Tower Bridge behind us.”
“Did you even look at the map? Big Ben must be an hour away.”
“I thought it would be a nice walk. There’s plenty to see along the way.”
Yet another sigh escaped Sungmin. “We should go if we are to be back in time.”
I was taking that as a good sign. We walked along the river in silence, stopping occasionally (frequently) when we (I) spotted something I wanted to take a picture of.
I was so occupied with taking a photograph of the London Eye, that I didn’t notice Sungmin had left my side until I turned around and found him sat on a bench, staring at the river.
While I knew not every good-looking guy in Korea wanted to be an idol, Sungmin certainly had the looks to join the ranks. Even with the makeup that was plastered on over his scar. I hadn’t seen him without makeup since… I hadn’t seen him without makeup on.
I raised my camera and took a few shots before studying the screen on the camera and flicking through them. He was really photogenic.
“What are you doing?” Sungmin demanded, the anger in his tone making me jump more than the volume.
“Just taking a few photographs.”
“Delete them!”
Without question, I did as he ordered. It was a stupid move – I should have known he wouldn’t have liked that. “It’s done,” I told him, showing him the camera. “I’m sorry.”
“You do not have my permission to take my photograph,” Sungmin snapped at me. He turned on his heel and stormed off in the direction we had been heading.
Fuck.
I followed, walking just behind him, trying to work out how to give him a better apology, when I looked up and saw Big Ben. “No!” I exclaimed, miserably.
The tower was cloaked in scaffolding and a protective cover with an image of the actual building printed on it. I’d wanted to see Big Ben when I had been here last. OK, I knew Big Ben was the name of the bell and not the building. Getting to go up and actually see the bell wasn’t going to happen, but the tower was such an iconic part of the landscape.
“What’s wrong?” Sungmin asked, reappearing at my side. At least he wasn’t ignoring me. I pointed up at the tower, and after Sungmin followed my outstretched hand, he turned back, nodding. “It’s closed for restoratio
n. It has been since 2017. I thought you knew that.”
“Why would I want to walk all this way to take a picture of a construction site?” I asked him. Disappointment was setting in and I knew I was going to be in a funk about it all afternoon.
“There is still plenty of London to see,” Sungmin declared. His matter-of-fact tone was a welcome change to what I had experienced on the walk here. I arched an eyebrow. “Follow me.”
He started walking towards Westminster Bridge and I hurried to catch him up. “Where are we going?” I asked as we started to cross the river. This time, it was Sungmin’s time to point. “The London Eye? Do we have time for that?”
“If you don’t want to go on it, you don’t have to, but I am.”
“I never said I didn’t want to go on it!” I yelped. Like hell I was missing out on this opportunity.
If luck was against me for Big Ben, it was much better on the other side of the Thames: there was only a five-minute wait time and one couple in the pod with us. The clouds hung low and I couldn’t see as far as the signs claimed you could, but the rain held off and the view was still spectacular. I took a few photographs, but not many; the glass was too dirty for the picture to be clear.
The couple were sat on the bench on the other side of the pod, barely paying attention to what was outside. Sungmin was sat on the one beside me, but he was looking outside. “I know it’s not the best, but are you not taking any photographs?” I asked him.
“We went on this last time we were here,” Sungmin shrugged.
I took a couple more snaps and then I sat down next to him. “I’m sorry I took your photograph without permission,” I told him, sincerely. “I didn’t think it would upset you.”
Sungmin fixed me a look before pointing at his face. “You didn’t think it would upset me?”
I frowned. “I don’t see you as a scar.”
“How could you not?”
I chewed at my lip before responding, taking the time to word my answer as well as I could. “I haven’t seen you without makeup, but with it, it’s not as noticeable as you think. I notice your foundation before the scar. And even if I could see your scar, you’re still a very attractive guy. The only thing about the scar I care about is how you feel about it.”
“That’s not how Moonhee feels.”
I stared at him. “Please tell me the reason Moonhee didn’t go through with the wedding wasn’t because of your scar?” I asked, slowly, before I could stop myself. Sungmin didn’t say anything. I leaped to my feet, angry at the fact I was trapped in a glass pod on the other side of the world, and furious that Moonhee would ever say that.
“Kate?”
I whirled around, glowering at Sungmin, even though he wasn’t the target of my anger. “She is a shallow, stupid bitch, and I swear as soon as I get back in Seoul, I am going to give her a black eye and a real reason for the fake nose she already has.”
“Kate, sit down,” Sungmin requested, shooting a nervous look at the couple who were now watching me with interest. I hoped they didn’t understand Korean. “It’s OK.”
“It’s not OK,” I snapped back at him. “You do everything you can to avoid being out unless it’s work-related. How dare she make you feel that way?”
“What can you do about it now?” Sungmin wasn’t denying my claims, and that made me angrier. My hands clenched into fists. Once more, I wished she was in front of me. Sungmin sighed. “Sit down.”
“I don’t want to sit. I want to punch a bitch.”
Sungmin tilted his head. “You never struck me as a violent person. Even when your ex was troubling you.”
“Yes, well, someone hurt you, not me. I’m not a violent person, but if you come after the people I care about, I will hurt you.”
Sungmin gave me an odd look. “It’s OK, Kate.”
“It’s not OK,” I cried, indignantly. “I can’t believe she would say something like that to you.”
Sungmin said nothing, looking out of the window, with the occasional glance in my direction as we finished the ride. We walked off in silence, and unspoken agreement that it was time to walk home. Judging from the dark skies, we wouldn’t have long until the heavens opened.
Apparently, it was the few minutes it took for us to get halfway back over Westminster Bridge. It wasn’t the rainfall which starts slow and gets heavier – it was like someone poured a bucket of water over the area.
Thankfully, I had put my camera back in my bag before we had gotten off the London Eye so I didn’t have to worry about that. Instead, I had to battle with a crowd of frenzied pedestrians as we all tried to get off the bridge and to shelter. At one point, Sungmin grabbed my wrist, leading me through the throngs of people.
Finally, we were under a shop shelter with a dozen other people, trying to avoid the rain. I was already drenched, but I huddled with Sungmin watching the rain. He said something and I turned, trying to hear him over the din of people and rain, and then I was being shoved into him.
He caught me, unable to do much more than put up with me pressed into him. “I’m sorry,” I squeaked at him, trying to shuffle back to give him room.
The grip around me tightened and I stopped, looking up at him. “It will give others room under here.”
His words didn’t match the expression in his eyes. I barely dared to breathe, confused as to why, when we were surrounded with so many people, the only one I could focus on was him.
Stop it, Kate.
I dropped my gaze.
“Thank you.”
And just like that, it was back on him again. “Huh?”
“It’s not OK, and I’m glad you said that. I keep telling myself it is, because if I don’t, I wouldn’t be able to leave my room. It's better that she called it off rather than me getting married to someone who felt that way about being with damaged goods.”
“Damaged…”
Rage flooded me. With a few half-assed apologies, I pushed my way out from under the shelter, into the rain. I was so angry, the last thing I needed was to be around people.
“Kate!”
I spun around, nearly taking out a man in a suit as he shot past me, and I started to glower at Sungmin. The anger started to leave me when I saw the scar. Aside from picking the wrong shade, he’d also picked something which wasn’t holding up in the weather.
The scar was less than three months old and while it was healing well, it was still a dark burgundy color. If Sungmin was sensitive enough to cover it up, he wasn’t going to be comfortable if he knew it was beginning to show.
I grabbed his hand, ignoring his questions, as I led him down the street to a store I had spotted. It was a British chain which sold cosmetics and personal hygiene products, and just what I needed. Although the entrance was crowded from people sheltering from the rain, it was quieter in the cosmetics section.
Spotting a pack of wipes that had been left for customers to remove their makeup testing, I grabbed a few and handed them to Sungmin. “Wipe it off.”
“What? No!”
I sucked in a deep breath. “You have the wrong shade for your skin and the rain has started to let some of your scar show through.”
In an instant, Sungmin’s hand clamped down on his cheek. “I need to get back to the hotel.”
“You’re going to run back in this weather holding your face?” I shook my head. “Just wipe it off and I’ll get you a better shade and put it on for you.”
“I don’t want you to see it,” he protested.
“I don’t care about it like you think I do,” I told him. “I would honestly be happy if you chose not to cover it up – and frankly, so would the others – but you do care about it, so let me help.”
I didn’t wait to see if he wiped it off, instead browsing the aisles beside me for a foundation which was a better match. When I turned back to him, he was bare faced.
It was worse than I expected. The area was darker and redder across the cheek, and the edges more noticeable. But, I could see that it
was healing. It didn’t make him any less attractive.
It did make me angry at Anita.
I pushed that woman from my mind and focused on covering the scar back up. Sungmin didn’t say a word, but his gaze was fixed on me the entire time I gently patted the foundation on his skin. “You really need to use a brush, but I think they would freak out if I opened a pack. This foundation matches much better, so I’m going to buy you a tube.”
Sungmin’s hand reached up, holding mine steady. “It doesn’t repulse you?”
“Not in the slightest.” I met his gaze, almost daring him to doubt it. Finally, he nodded, releasing my hand. “Wait there,” I told him, disappearing to grab some fixing powder. “This will help more than you realize.” Figuring that he might be uncomfortable buying the makeup, I gathered it all up and marched to the counter. I wasn’t going to tell him so, but the fact he thought he was now repulsive was what repulsed me. Moonhee had a lot to answer for.
제 17 장
Turn It Up
Midway across the Atlantic Ocean, I started to feel… off. Once again, I was exhausted, only this time, it was accompanied by an uneasy stomach. Considering we had gotten drenched in the rain and had to get back to the hotel, I was sure I was coming down with a cold.
“Eat something,” Youngbin told me.
I was sat next to Sungmin once more, but this time I was in the aisle seat, just across the way from Youngbin and CX.
“The chicken is good,” CX assured me.
The meal in front of me looked appetizing, and it smelled delicious, but I was not feeling like my stomach could handle food. It was the last meal before we landed, and my luck was that I would be hungry as soon as they cleared the meal away.
Unenthusiastically, I ate about half of the meal. I felt a little better for doing so. “Are you OK?” Youngbin asked me.
I shrugged. “I got soaked earlier. I’m probably coming down with a cold. Don’t worry, I’ll keep away from all of you; the last thing you need is to catch something too.”
“Actually, tonight I wanted to play my song to everyone.”
“What song, hyung?” CX asked, instantly.
