by Anne Hampson
‘I don’t think I want to go outside,’ she returned dully.
His manner changed dramatically and there was an expression of humour in his eyes.
‘Afraid? I’ll promise not to molest you—not in any way at all,’ he added significantly.
‘It isn’t that,’ she murmured, casting a glance in Rosa’s direction.
‘No?’ His brows lifted a fraction. ‘What is it, then?’
Beth shook her head, but before she could speak she was swung off the floor, on to the verandah, and then she was being propelled towards the darkest place in the grounds. Why didn’t she protest, turn back, refuse to be domineered like this? He had only brought her out here because he was tired of looking at Rosa flirting with another man. Was she trying to make Chad jealous? wondered Beth. Was this her subtle way of hurrying him on to his decision?
‘It’s cooler out here.’ He found a seat that ran round the trunk of a tree and Beth was drawn down on to it. ‘How are you feeling these days? Has all the weakness gone by now?’
‘Yes. I feel my old self again.’
‘Valerie wrote to thank me for the party and she asked about you.’
‘Tell her I’m fine, and thank her, won’t you?’
‘I’ll do that when I answer her letter. I don’t know when it will be as I’m remiss at writing letters. A wife comes in handy for such things,’ he added with a hint of humour. ‘She always remembers Christmas and birthday cards too.’
‘A wife ...’ She turned to him in the moonlight.
‘Are you thinking of getting married, Chad?’
Silence, deep and profound.
‘I might think of it some time in the near future,’ he said at length.
‘I see.’ Yes, and she saw much more than his marriage to Rosa. She saw her own heart ... and knew that she had come near to losing it—But his admission was timely; she was safe, heart-whole still, though even now she was vitally affected by him, by his nearness, by the way he slanted her a smile.
‘Do you see?’ Strange was the inflection in his voice, unfathomable, but in some way it caught her interest.
‘I believe I do, yes.’
‘Would you like to enlarge on that, Beth?’
She hesitated, conscious that this was a delicate subject. Yet he had invited her further comment, so she spoke at last, saying quietly,
‘You’re in love with Rosa, aren’t you?’
No answer for a long moment and then,
‘What gave you that idea, Beth?’
‘It’s obvious. Everybody knows.’
Another silence, far more profound this time. ‘Everybody?’ he repeated, and Beth nodded.
‘Alex said there’d be an engagement soon, and both Jo and Carole think so too.’
‘So I and my private affairs have been under discussion, have they?’
She nodded again, saying quickly,
‘Are you angry?’
‘About what?’
‘Us—er—people talking about you?’
‘Here, my dear, everybody talks about everybody else. Gossip is always rife in a small, close-knit community like ours. It mitigates boredom and doesn’t really do any harm.’
‘You’re so casual about it,’ she commented, idly tracing an imaginary pattern of a daisy on her dress.
‘Casual about the gossip, you mean?’
‘About your marriage.’ She hadn’t meant to say that, but now that she had said it she waited, breathlessly for his reaction. Would he be annoyed? Or would he confide in her, telling her when to expect the engagement to be announced?
‘I wasn’t aware of being casual about my marriage.’ His voice was dryly satirical as he added, ‘I wasn’t aware that I’d mentioned my marriage at all.’
‘You did. You said you might think of it in the near future.’
‘There’s a difference in thinking about it and being positive.’
She looked at him, nonplussed.
‘You’re not certain, then, of marrying Rosa?’
He seemed amused out of all proportion, for he threw back his head and laughed. However, all he said was,
‘You’re far too inquisitive, Beth. I’ve already told you that.’
She drew an exasperated breath.
‘You’re just trying to confuse me, Chad. Shall we change the subject?’
‘Why? Aren’t you happy with the subject of Rosa, and the possibility of her becoming my wife?’
She gave a start, nerve-ends alert. Had he guessed that the idea of his marrying Rosa was something she could not be happy about? In order to disabuse him—should this be the case—she tossed her head in a gesture of indifference and said,
‘Why on earth should I care what subject we talk about? I merely suggested we change it because you were being absurdly mystifying, and I’d no patience to carry on such a fruitless conversation.’
‘Yes, you’re fully recovered,’ asserted Chad with infuriating calm. ‘We’re back to square one, it would seem.’
Beth made to rise, but his hand shot out and she was kept where she was.
‘I want to go back,’ she said petulantly.
‘It’s far more pleasant out here.’ A small pause and then, ‘Shall we walk for a while?’
‘I’d rather go back, if you don’t mind, Chad,’ she said, remembering that he was only out here, with her, because of what Rosa was doing. In fact, he was probably playing the girl at her own game and trying to make her jealous.
‘Walk with me, my dear, and don’t be so perverse.’ Beth threw him a darkling glance which had no effect whatsoever. He rose, pulled her up with him and the next moment they were walking through a grove of tamarinds where moonlight created a lacy tapestry on the ground as it filtered through the branches of the trees.
Chad stopped at length and looked down at her from his superior height. The breeze had tousled her hair and whipped colour into her cheeks; her eyes shone, reflecting the light from the moon.
‘Did anyone tell you you’re beautiful?’ he said, and without giving her time to answer his head came down and his lips found hers. She tried to move away, the vision of Rosa rising like a shadow on a beautiful dream. But Chad held her tightly in a hawser-like embrace and when he kissed her again it was with all the arrogance of a supreme master. She gave up, letting him have his way. And even when he released her she made no attempt to move.
‘No fight in you?’ He seemed disappointed as he shook his head. ‘No, you’re not yourself yet, sad to say.’
Suddenly her temper flared.
‘Just what are you trying to do?’ she quivered.
‘Revive the lost spirit in you,’ he replied tauntingly.
‘I did say that as I’m deeply indebted to you I’d never quarrel with you again—if you remember!’
‘You make me wish I hadn’t had you in my home.’
Beth twisted from his hold on her hands and began to walk away. He caught her up in seconds and fell into step beside her.
She was fighting tears of anger, but of something else as well. New and disturbing emotions filled her; she did not want to fight him any more, and the reason had nothing to do with her indebtedness to him. She wanted only to be friends ... good friends. Or was it more than friendship that she wanted from him?
Well, it was too late in any case. Chad was almost engaged to Rosa, even though he had not admitted it categorically. She said in a choked little voice,
‘Only a cad would kiss one girl while considering marriage to another!’
‘But you’re so tempting, Beth.’
‘And isn’t Rosa tempting?’ What sort of a conversation was this? she asked herself, suddenly enveloped in a mist of bewilderment. It was alien to Chad’s attitude of cool superiority for him to be talking in this manner.
‘Shall we leave Rosa out of it?’ he suggested, and now he was more like himself, unwilling for this intimacy to go on. Beth felt the tears pricking and then to her dismay they began to fall. She had no handkerchief and she brush
ed a hand across her eyes. And then she began to run from him, across the moonlit gardens and back to the lights and music coming from the Clubhouse.
She made straight for the powder-room to dry her eyes on a tissue. She had been there no more than a few seconds when Rosa came in, her eyes narrowed, her mouth tight and ugly.
‘Where have you been—?’ She stopped, seeing the evidence of tears in the unnatural brightness of Beth’s eyes. ‘Chad ... and you—Why are you crying?’
Beth was just about to say she was not crying when suddenly her restraint broke and her temper flared to burning point.
‘Mind your own damned business! Who do you think you are, coming in here and questioning me?’
Rosa’s teeth snapped together. That she was in a fury equal to that which enveloped Beth was plain indeed.
‘There’s no need for rudeness! I’m only asking why you’ve been crying. It must be something Chad has done to you, and I have a right to know what it is!’
‘Oh, and why?’
‘Because I happen to be his future wife!’
‘You’re engaged, then?’ Beth’s control was returning; she was very interested indeed to hear the girl’s answer to her question.
‘Not quite, but it’s a certainty that we will be—soon!’
Beth looked at her, a girl immaculately groomed, sure of herself, poised and arrogant. What did a man like Chad see in the creature!
‘You don’t trust your—er—future husband, obviously,’ she said, aware that she was being bitchy but not caring a damn about that.
‘Certainly I trust him,’ snapped Rosa, furious that she had provided Beth with the opening to say such a thing. ‘I don’t suppose for one moment he’d bother about a girl like you anyway!’
‘In that case,’ said Beth, all dignity now, ‘what are you so troubled about?’
‘I’m not troubled!’
‘You appear to be,’ said Beth quietly. ‘Would you care to put your questions again and I’ll do my best to answer them?’
Rosa’s face coloured to a deep crimson. Without another word she turned and flounced from the room.
Beth followed a short while later, having combed her hair and applied a little lipstick taken from her bag which was hidden beneath her cloak. She felt much better and there was a ready smile on her lips when as she came into the ballroom, she was approached by Doug and asked for a dance.
Chad was standing talking to two other men; he saw her, and that quirk of a smile lifted the corner of his mouth. Had he seen Rosa come from the powder-room? Beth wondered, glancing around for the girl. Beth spotted her, and saw Chad move with long smooth steps to reach her. The next moment they were dancing, Rosa all smiles and charm and allure, Chad’s face taut, enigmatic.
Strange unfathomable man! Was he going to marry the girl or wasn’t he?
‘I don’t care one way or another,’ Beth whispered, and threw herself into the enjoyment of the dance.
CHAPTER SIX
Beth opened her eyes to a room bathed in sunglow. She got out of bed and moved over to the window. Over the wide expanse of veld lay a coating of saffron light, with the distant kopjes shadowed but lit here and there by skeins of gold and pale orange. Another dawn ... beautiful beyond compare, an African dawn with the world awakening around her. The familiar spectacle of men working contentedly in the fields brought movement, the flowers in the garden provided colour and their exotic perfumes filled the clear morning air. It was July now, and the days and nights were cooler, but there were no dramatic changes of season, autumn having merged almost imperceptibly with winter.
Beth, vitally alive to the beauty awaiting her out there, in the open, went to the bathroom and after showering she dressed in a sun-suit of crisp green cotton—brief shorts and a sun-top, but over these she wore a matching skirt and blouse. She would discard these two garments later, when she went out to the garden to sit in the sun.
Jo was already at breakfast when she went into the dining-room, but Carole was still in bed.
‘Another day—’ Jo’s voice held a note of discontent, astounding her cousin and bringing a frown to her face as she added, ‘I’m getting bored with doing nothing.’ She glanced at Beth and gave a small sigh. ‘Don’t you get fed up at times?’
Beth sat down and shook out her serviette.
‘No, I love it here.’
‘You couldn’t settle, surely?’
She hesitated, her mind on Chad. She had been speculating lately on the fact that no announcement of an engagement between him and Rosa had been made. He had said he might think of marriage in the near future, but as yet there was no sign of his having made up his mind. He was still very friendly with Rosa, still spent a lot of time with her when they were at the Club. Beth and her cousins had gone to watch a polo match one Saturday afternoon, when Chad was playing. Rosa had been there and afterwards Chad took her to tea and then they disappeared, neither of them attending the dance at the Club that particular evening.
‘I could settle,’ she said, aware that her cousin was waiting for an answer. ‘But on the other hand, I sometimes feel I’ll be glad when the year is up. I felt like that just now—’ She tailed off, troubled at the restlessness within her.
‘Problems?’ murmured Jo softly, and Beth, in the act of tackling the paw-paw put in front of her by Sara, glanced up, a question in her eyes. ‘I feel we all three have problems,’ Jo added, then said no more.
She was buttering toast and it seemed to be demanding all her attention.
‘We all have problems? What problems have you got, Jo?’
Her cousin shrugged.
‘Alex, for one, and boredom for another.’
Beth had known for some time that Alex was becoming fond of Jo, but it seemed that his feelings were not returned.
‘You did say,’ she reminded her, ‘that you weren’t sure now if you still loved David.’
‘I’m not sure,’ Jo agreed, ‘but that doesn’t mean that I can automatically care for Alex.’
‘He’s nice, Jo.’
‘I wouldn’t argue that point. But who wants to spend their life behind a counter? All right, it does happen to be a bookshop, which is a darned sight better than an ironmongers, but all the same, I’d go mad after a while.’
‘I must admit a shop counter would never do for me,’ said Beth. ‘But what makes you think you’d have to work in the shop?’
Jo looked at her.
‘There’s work enough for two so, if anything happened to his father, or if he retired, then Alex would naturally expect me to help in the shop.’
Beth nodded.
‘That does seem a reasonable assumption.’ She dug her spoon into her fruit and for a space there was silence between the two girls. ‘Have you told Alex that there’s no hope for him?’
Jo shook her head.
‘He himself hasn’t got that far. He likes me, that’s obvious, and so does his father. In fact, I’m certain his father would be delighted if I married his son. However, I’m fighting very shy at present, because I’ve a strong suspicion that the old man is looking for a housekeeper, and that’s the real reason why he would like a daughter-in-law.’
Again Beth nodded.
‘It wouldn’t be much fun looking after two men, I agree. But if you did decide to marry Alex you could insist on having your own house.’
‘It would look dreadful, Beth. The old man would be hurt.’
‘Well, there’s no way out that I can see.’ Beth concentrated on her fruit again. ‘It seems, anyway, that you’re not greatly attracted to Alex.’
Jo remained silent, considering for a moment.
‘I could like him if I let myself, but I’m not going to. I feel sure I’d regret it if I married Alex and settled here.’ Her glance wandered to the window. One of their boys was busy in the garden, weeding after the heavy downpour of the night before last. It was amazing how swiftly the weeds appeared after rain, but the rain was welcome, since the earth needed it and in addition the
intolerable dust was laid for a time.
Beth became thoughtful, then said curiously, ‘These other problems you mentioned, Jo. Carole has problems?’
‘Yes,’ answered Jo. ‘She’s desperately trying to be loyal to Dick but admits she’s beginning to like Doug.’
Beth said nothing. She reached for a boiled egg, then buttered a piece of toast. ‘In addition,’ said Jo with a wry grimace, ‘Carole’s not immune to the attractions of our friend Chad.’ Jo’s gaze was fixed on Beth’s face as she added, ‘You yourself are not immune, either, from what I can see.’
Beth looked at her toast, the strokes with her knife deliberate as she buttered it.
At last she looked up, conscious of her fluctuating colour.
‘He’s practically engaged to Rosa,’ she reminded Jo. ‘I’d be crazy to fall in love with him.’
‘It seems to me that falling in love is crazy, and I’m seriously considering remaining a bachelor girl. As for you—well, you weren’t in love with Kevin, so you’ve no problem there. But no matter what you say about Chad, it’s plain to me that you like him.’
‘We’re always quarrelling,’ Beth was swift to remind her.
‘Nothing serious, though.’
‘How do you know? We go at it hammer and tongs at times.’ Only last week, she thought, they had almost come to blows—and Beth could not now even remember what it was all about! But she had had to enforce all her will-power to prevent herself from saying something that would have assuredly brought down his real fury upon her. And she suspected that he himself had had to exercise supreme control in order to keep his hands off her. It was a ludicrous situation, since they seemed almost always to derive some inexplicable pleasure from these battles, these verbal slanging matches where, as Chad said, they shot poison darts at one another. For his part, though, he usually managed to remain perfectly calm, using as his weapons satire, amusement, taunting remarks ... all deliberately designed to infuriate her so that she could not control her temper. ‘Some of our quarrels are very serious.’
Jo’s eyes were a study of perception.
‘You like him, Beth, so don’t try to convince me that you don’t. He’s darned attractive and from what I’ve seen all the girls appear to fall for him. He’ll choose Rosa, I’m sure of it, and so you have a problem, Beth. You know you ought to go home before you’re so badly hurt that you won’t get over it in a hurry.’
