by Frost Kay
They were a sad pair, the two of them. Both broken and scarred. Their experiences had bound them in ways most people would never be able to understand. They loved each other, but they weren’t in love with each other. Blair was the only family she had. “You know I love you.”
Blair straightened and flashed her a smile. “Such heavy subjects today.”
“It’s having Mer aboard. I wish I could tell her who I am.”
“There’s no reason why you cannot.”
“I have every reason. It’s enough to be her friend.”
A soft smile lit her friend’s face. “She breathes life into the people she’s around.”
“I wish I could bottle it up.”
“You would make a fortune off it.”
Lilja sniggered. “Just like a pirate. Always thinking about profit.” A wicked smile danced across Blair’s handsome face, making him look like a true pirate with his black hair, dark eyes, and sea-stained leather.
“I live to loot.”
“That’s a bad line,” she accused.
Blair winked, and glanced over her shoulder. “Higgins isn’t cleaning a damn thing, that bag of lazy bones.” He brushed a kiss on her cheek and strode away, barking at Higgins.
She tipped her head back, basking in the warm sun. Down in the deep, Sirenidae didn’t experience the sun. When she had first come above, the sun had burned her something awful, but after a time, her skin began to build a tolerance and absorb the rays, turning her pale coloring to a soft gold. Still not tan like her crew, but at least she wasn’t the color of a dead fish. In the deep, the dark blues complimented pale skin, but in the harsh light of day it was odd.
Lilja cracked her neck and decided she needed to make friends. If Hayjen didn’t trust her, it was going to be a long couple of weeks. She spun and followed the delicious smells of the kitchen. She sauntered in, smiling as the room quieted, and many of the women’s eyes followed her. Stopping in front of the cook, the thin man who created food that could tempt anyone’s palate, she smiled. “What do we have today?”
His thin mustache lifted as he smiled. “Soup, and a hearty bread, Captain.”
“Mmmm,” she hummed as he doled out her lunch. Lilja thanked him and moved to an open spot among the slave group. She smiled at everyone and ignored their stares as she began to eat. They weren’t used to her, but they had warmed up. A little body plopped down next to her, almost knocking over her soup.
“Mer!” a deep voice scolded. “Watch what you are doing.”
Lilja peeked at Mer, looking properly chastised, and grinned at her, letting her know it was okay. “That’s alright, no harm done.”
The little girl’s lilac eyes looked up at her with excitement bubbling just under the surface. “Do you like it? I helped Cook make it.”
“It’s delicious. You did a fine job.”
Mer leaned forward and gestured to Lilja to do the same. Lilja cocked her head so the little girl could speak in her ear.
“What makes it so good is the secret ingredient. Cook says the secret ingredient is love. I put lots of love into the soup.”
Lilja grinned at Mer. “I can tell. Only love would taste so good!”
“You did a fine job,” the quiet woman she’d come to know as Lera spoke.
“How are you today, Lera?” she asked.
The mousy woman gave her a sweet smile. “I am well, thanks to you.”
She waved a hand at Lera. “All I did was provide the vessel for you to escape on. You kept yourself alive and whole on a Scythian slaver. That’s extraordinary.” And it was.
“Many of us would have died if it weren’t for Hayjen.”
So that explained the worshipful looks the girls cast at the burly man.
Lilja finally looked at the man who hadn’t stopped staring at her since she walked through the galley doors. His eyes still shocked her. They were such an ice blue that it felt like if you got too close, you would be cold. She’d never seen eyes like his. Ironic really—he had probably never seen eyes like hers either. He broke their stare off and looked to Lera.
“Anyone else would have helped.” Hayjen glanced around the group. “It was your care for each other and your determination to stay strong that kept you alive.”
Lilja observed the reaction of the women around him. Most of them stared at him like he held the moon. He was a natural leader; he was humble, kind, fierce, and self-sacrificing. The women were lucky that he had been captured with them.
She felt eyes on her and glanced at a girl around the age of 15 staring at her. Lilja smiled and raised a brow. The girl colored and dropped her eyes to her lap. “Was there something you wanted to ask?” The murmurs halted as the girl turned a bright shade of red. “It’s okay to speak to me.”
The girl’s eyes darted from the slave leader to Lilja, and back to her lap. “I a-am curious about your eyes, my lady.”
Lilja snorted. “I am no lady, I am a pirate. Please call me Lilja.”
“Lilja,” the girl tested.
“What’s your name?”
“Beth.”
“Well, Beth,” Lilja leaned forward, “I was born with these eyes.” She crossed her eyes, making some of the women giggle around her. “Do you like the color?”
“They’re pretty,” Beth commented.
“They’re not pretty.” Hayjen’s deep voice rumbled through the room. “They’re striking and exotic.”
She ignored his comment and focused on Beth. “That’s nice of you to say, but I would love to have beautiful hazel eyes like yours. They remind me of a forest at autumn time.”
Beth tucked a hair behind her ear, blushing. “Thank you, Lilja.”
Lilja lounged on the pillow behind her, and eyed the girls. “It’s interesting that we admire others’ beauty but we rarely see it in ourselves. Why do you think we do that?”
“Because we live with the flaws every day,” a girl named Jess spoke.
“Ah, but what makes them flaws? Who told you that they were flaws?”
“My mum used to say my hair looked like yellow straw instead of silk.” Jess brushed her thick blond hair out of her face.
Beth pointed at her own cheeks. “Boys made fun of my freckles.”
“Exactly.” Lilja sat up. “Others belittled things about your body so that now you look at it in a negative light. Don’t buy into what they say. You only have one body. Love it and take care of it. Their opinions only influence you if you let them.” She stood and turned in a circle. “What do you see?”
“Sex and grace,” Lera blurted.
Lilja nodded and met the girl’s eyes. “At one time, others condemned me and ridiculed me for it. They tried to shame me because of my long limbs and curves. They blamed me for their lust. After a while, I began to believe them, to blame myself and hate my body. All I saw were flaws and sin.”
“How did you change?” Beth asked.
“A close friend told me differently. He said if I couldn’t accept myself, how could others? That stuck with me. It took time, but eventually I accepted that this is the body I was born with and I began to love it.” Dropping into a crouch, she popped a piece of bread into her mouth and chewed, watching as the women absorbed what she had said. She swallowed and continued. “Stop looking for flaws in yourself and embrace the beauty. Each and every one of you are beautiful. I see it, and Hayjen here sees it.” Lilja brushed Mer’s white blond hair out of her face and stood. “Thank you for the wonderful conversation. I hope to have dinner with you all later.”
She turned her back and allowed herself a smile as the conversation continued with them telling each other what they appreciated about each other. Quiet steps followed her. “Yes?” she said, turning abruptly to speak with whoever was following her. Lilja’s nose came in contact with a very broad chest. One that smelled extremely pleasing.
She didn’t expect that.
Lilja stepped back and tipped her head back to meet his gaze.
Ice eyes.
St
unning face.
Silky hair.
He was too damn attractive.
And moved like a griffin.
She was in trouble.
Chapter Five
Hayjen
Her magenta eyes stared into his with, if he wasn’t mistaken, a hint of attraction.
Well, good. She was too bloody beautiful to look at. It would only be fair if she thought he was attractive as well. Hayjen put those thoughts away for later and focused on what he had to say to her.
“Thank you.”
She blinked. “You’re welcome.”
Hayjen hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “For in there.” The captain’s brilliant smile about blinded him.
“They are wonderful. They deserve to feel that way.”
“They are coming back to life.”
Her lips pursed as she peered around his shoulder. “It will be a long time before they will heal. Right now they are running on a high of being free, of being out of danger.” Her eyes moved to his. “Soon enough they’ll drop, and we’ll have to keep an eye on them.”
“We’ll?” he questioned.
“It will be three weeks until we reach the cove near Sanee,” she explained.
“So long?” He was hoping to get to his sister sooner than that.
“Scythia is a long way from Sanee, and I am only repeating what my first mate told me.”
“Blair?”
“Yes, Blair.”
Something in her tone made him pause. There was more feeling in her voice than he would have expected to hear if she was talking about a typical crew member. His heart sank a little bit—despite himself, he was intrigued by this female creature. “I would like to speak with you and your first mate this evening if possible.”
“That can be arranged. I will fetch you when dinner is served. Now if you’ll excuse me.”
She sauntered down the hallway, every step fluid like she was dancing. The captain was great with the girls, but he couldn’t help but be suspicious. Was she after something else? Hayjen shook his head. What could she be after? They didn’t have anything of value other than their skin. But again, his skeptical side reared its head. No one did anything for nothing.
He turned and shuffled down the hallway and into the galley. The gaggle of girls were smiling and complimenting each other. The smile on his face came freely at the sight of their affection and kindness. Carefully, he lowered himself to a large purple pillow surrounding the low table. Beth and Jess cast smiles in his direction but kept on with their conversations.
“What’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get home?” Jess asked.
“Hug my family,” Beth quietly replied.
Hayjen watched them, marveling at how free they looked. He would have done everything in his power to help these women escape, but there at the end, he hadn’t thought they were going to make it.
A little white-blonde head plopped down next to him and snuggled into his side. Mer. Automatically, he wrapped his arm around her. He stared down at the crown of her head in awe and terror. In awe that such a precious creature was under his care. In terror that he would find her family and have to hand her over. Also, if he was honest, terrified that she was under his care. Hayjen planned on having a family, but not until he passed his thirty-fifth year. That was still seven years down the road. He dropped a kiss on to the sleepy little girl’s head and settled on his side to make her more comfortable, even though it pulled his wounds.
“Love you,” Mer whispered.
Hayjen brushed the hair from her face and tipped her chin up, brushing his nose against hers. “Love you too, Mer.” She gave him a gap-toothed smile before falling asleep, curled into his side. He looked over her sweet face and marveled at her innocence. He glanced up to see most of the women staring at him with affection.
“How did I get so lucky?” he asked no one in particular.
“She’s the lucky one. We all are,” Lera spoke up.
Hayjen looked down at Mer, watching her eyes flicker behind her lids. “I don’t know how to care for her.”
“You’ve done a good enough job so far,” whispered a gangly girl named Belle.
“She was almost eaten by Leviathan.” The words tasted sour in his mouth.
“But she wasn’t,” soothed Lera.
“What will I do if I can’t find her family?” He looked up at the girls. “I will need to work to support her. Who will stay home and care for her? Teach her? I know nothing of little girls, other than my sister.”
“Where is your sister?”
Hayjen’s lips thinned. “I don’t know. She’s unmarried and we’ve no family. If I wasn’t there to provide for her—” He sucked in a breath. “I’ve been gone for months.”
“If she’s anything like you, she will be just fine when we return to Aermia. And if you can’t find Mer’s family, you’ll have your sister to help care for her.”
That could work, but it felt like Gwen was still a little girl, too. He had raised her after their parents had died, so she’d always be young to him.
Looking around the room, Hayjen asked, “How are you all really?”
Belle’s brown eyes met his then dropped to the pillow she sat on as she fiddled with a string. “The crew have treated us well, and they feed us.” A pause. “The nightmares are still there.”
He nodded. “Those I fear, will take some time to abate.”
“The men are kind,” blurted Beth.
Hayjen turned to her with a raised brow.
Her cheeks colored, but she didn’t drop her eyes. “They don’t look at us with disgust and lust like the slavers did.” She shivered slightly. “They don’t yell or raise their voices around us. I’ve never caught any of them gazing at us with anything but curiosity and pity.”
“Hmmm…” he hummed.
“The captain assigned us jobs on the second day we were here,” Lera spoke. “She said it would help to get back to normal.” She shrugged. “When you’re busy, you don’t have time to dwell on the negatives in your life.”
“Have they questioned any of you?” he asked.
“The captain and her first mate have probed, but they haven’t interrogated us if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“A kind pirate, go figure,” he mumbled.
“Never judge.”
“Yes, mum,” Hayjen grumbled with a smile.
Lera arched a brow and shook her head at him. “Cheeky devil.”
“The captain informed me that it would be three weeks until we reach Aermia.”
Silence.
“Well, we’ve been on a ship for this long, what’s another couple of weeks?” Beth remarked. “Plus, some of us don’t know what we are returning home to.”
His gaze narrowed on the girl. “Will you be in danger?”
She waved a hand. “Nothing like that. I was betrothed before I was taken. I’m not sure I will be when I return.”
“He’d be a fool to turn you away.”
Her smile was wan. “If only all men had your ideals, Hayjen.”
“Then he’s not worthy.”
“Kind words.”
His back decided to protest at his position, causing him to wince. “I think I need to lie down for a bit.” Hayjen extracted himself from Mer and stumbled to his feet. Lera adjusted Mer on the pillows and smiled at him.
“We’ll watch over her. Rest.”
Nodding, he shuffled out of the room, his eyes heavy. Hayjen managed to make it back to his room, ignoring his curiosity to explore the captain’s study. He crashed onto the bed. The pain receded. He breathed a sigh of relief and closed his eyes.
***
Hayjen slept away the afternoon and was surprised when he woke to only a sliver of light glimmering over the horizon. It took a while to pull off his soiled pants, clean up, and don the new clothing left by someone. He laced the billowing white linen shirt loosely around his throat, pleased to find that the cloth didn’t irritate his wounds. The brown leather
pants fit him perfectly, and he wondered offhandedly how they knew his size. He shrugged it off as not being important.
Now, as he entered the captain’s study, he took his time. He shuffled over to the bookshelf, running his fingers along the colorful spines. She loved books—that was clear. His eyes moved to her organized desk—not a thing out of place. So she liked things just so. He filed that away. Color saturated everything he saw. It suited her. Wild color everywhere. Yet somehow they all mixed together in a pleasing manner.
Finishing his perusal, he left her study and went out onto the deck. Men were scattered everywhere, sitting on barrels or crates. Some nodded to him as he passed on his way to the rail. He leaned against it, watching the last of the sun’s rays disappear. There wasn’t anything more beautiful than the sun setting on the ocean. He sucked in a deep breath, savoring the salty crisp air and the symphony of waves crashing against the ship.
Peace.
It had been forever since he felt a measure of peace. After his parents had died, it had always been about feeding and raising Gwen. She was eight years his junior and needed someone to take care of her. Once captured, it became about protecting the girls and Mer. He was weary to his bones. No wonder he had been sleeping for days—he had been sleeping with one eye open most of the time for months. But being here, now, in this moment, there was nothing but the sea breeze rustling his hair and the waves below him. A smile tugged at his lips as light footsteps moved in his direction.
So much for peace and quiet.
Mer’s little hand slipped into his and to his surprise, she stayed silent, staring out at the dark waves. After a while, she shifted into his side to block some of the wind.
“Are you cold?” he asked softly.
“No, I just wanted to hug you. I miss my papa.”
Hayjen knelt and pulled her into his arms for a hug. Her little arms wrapped around his neck, and her face pressed into his chest. Her statement broke his heart. “We’ll find them.”
She shook her head. “You won’t.”
He let go of her and cupped her cheeks, staring into her unique eyes. “I’ll search for them. I will look forever if I have to, but while I look for them, will you stay with me?”
