“Xavier, please,” she breathes. “I’m going to come.”
“Then come. I’ll be waiting on the other side.” I add a third finger and stretch her wide. This sweet cunt is all mine. Malleable and firm all at once. Created especially for my assault.
Madison comes undone with a loud gasp and a quiver that runs through her body. It’s beautiful. She’s beautiful. My world is back where it belongs. The sun slides from behind the clouds and my wife’s love is once more out in the open.
Before her pussy stops clenching around my fingers, I remove them and drive my cock into her depths. Her eyes open and they hold so much love. Our gazes lock as I slide in and out of her heat.
“Harder,” she begs, which makes me smile. I live to give her exactly what she wants. We both need this—life validation. She moves to the rhythm of my thrusts. Her hands squeezing the rails so tightly her knuckles turn blue. The pressure builds in my groin, signaling our dance will end soon, though I want it to last forever. I try to slow down, stop the inevitable without success. I arch my back, fiercely driving my cock inside her.
From the noises she makes, to the love in her eyes I know she’s mine and I’m hers. Forever.
She comes again and I’m close behind. The heaviness in my balls ignites and slowly the throbbing centered there travels the length of my cock and I can’t hold back my orgasm. I’ve never thought about having children because of my life but right now, creating a new life from this special moment fills me completely. I collapse half on top of her, unable to roll completely off. My head finds the pillow of her breasts and my ear, her heartbeat. I thought I would never hold her again. Losing Madison for two days shattered me. I listen to the steady thump of her heart proving she’s alive and in my arms. Peace settles over me and I almost drift off with the picture of her holding our child imprinted in my head. We have years ahead of us and someday I’ll ask Madison if she wants to start a family. Someday when the work I do is behind us we might have a chance at normal.
“Xavier?” I lift my groggy head and look at her. She’s more beautiful now than I’ve ever seen her. Hair tussled, lips swollen. “I need to tell you something,” she says sleepily. Her incredible dark eyes look unsure.
“Anything,” I say and kiss her breast before sitting up and untying her hands. I massage her arms and shoulders then lay back down beside her and gathering her into my arms.
She takes her time before gaining the courage to say what she needs to. “I waited for you to save me.”
I die inside, her words a stab directly into my heart. I should have saved her, but she saved herself and killed a man doing it. We made vows the day we were married and I didn’t keep my end of the bargain.
She isn’t finished. “Since becoming an adult, I haven’t relied on anyone. I’ve always been strong and determined, but I allowed myself to be caught by that monster.” Her hands clench into fists and I lift them to my mouth and kiss each finger in turn. “After Fernandez took me, I became the little woman who needs a man to save her.” She runs her hand over my thigh, but it does nothing to comfort me. “That woman wasn’t me. I’ve become so entrenched in your world that I’ve lost part of myself.”
So many thoughts travel through my mind. Is she leaving me? Would I allow her to?
Crazy because the last thing I would ever do is hurt her. The truth is I should have been there. I should have rescued her before Fernandez raped her. She would be safer living anywhere other than in my criminal world. I won’t beg her to stay because I know she’s safer away from this life.
“Are you listening?” she demands with a pinch to my arm when I remain silent.
“I’m not sure what you’re asking.” It’s the truth; I need to know exactly what she’s talking about.
“I run the escort service. I have no duties here at the house because Gabriella handles everything. In a way I’ve become lax. The dangerous life we live hasn’t touched me until now. I know what I can handle and for a long time, I looked away from the part of you I couldn’t face. If your activities were out of sight, they were part of another world.” She places her hand on my heart and presses her palm into my chest. “The thing is, I need to pull my head out of my ass. I need to stand on my own two feet. I was a police officer who could handle whatever situation that came at me. I want that part of me back. I need to stand on my own and do what needs to be done. I should have gotten Cori out sooner. But I waited for you.”
All the guilt that’s been eating me alive swells larger. I pull her in close and kiss the top of her head. “I failed you.”
She actually slaps my hand at her waist and it surprises me. “No, you came for me. You would have been there before either of us died. It’s the part of me that relied on you, no, anyone, to save me. I had everything I needed and I didn’t see it until it was almost too late. It’s the survival instinct. I had it as a cop and I want it back. I want to live fully in your world and not just on the outskirts. You need a working partner. I need to be there for you and understand every nuance of your world. I need to always be prepared for whatever comes our way.” She lays her hands on my jaw and leans into me. “Please understand that I can’t wear blinders any longer.”
My first reaction is a resounding no. But this is Madison, and “no” doesn’t work on her. She’ll always find a way around the answer she doesn’t like. I need to remember how strong she is. She’s aware of the things I’m involved in, but she has hidden herself from the darker side. She was a cop and her heart will always be blue. I’ve curtailed much of my criminal activity since she entered my life. It worked to my benefit even though I didn’t know the outcome when I made the changes. There are still things Madison won’t like and she’d be so much safer walking away. The determined look in her eyes tells me that won’t happen. Even though I know she would be better off, losing her would kill me and everything I have would be wasted without her.
She’s asking for the keys to my world and she deserves access in order to make a decision on staying or going.
“I have a gun shipment held up in New Mexico. I’ve delayed it due to the situation with Fernandez. I don’t have an easy solution for fixing the delay. I need to fly to headquarters in New Mexico to be sure what we ordered is correct and I can’t do that under the current conditions. The guns need to be tested because if there is anything wrong with the shipment, it must be handled immediately.”
To my surprise, a slow grin spreads across her beautiful face and brightens her eyes. “You forget, I’m a gun girl. Testing weapons is right up my ally.”
God, I love her. “We’re staying under lockdown until Fernandez is located.”
She ignores that. “Who is the shipment going to?” she asks instead.
I twirl a piece of her hair between my fingers, thankful she didn’t jump from the bed and demand a divorce. Her hair has dried. It’s messy and perfect in its fountain of tangles. “A village in Mexico. They’re making headway against one of the cartels and need additional resources. I sent twenty men from New Mexico there to train them and fortify their homes.”
Her eyes light up. “You’re not giving them to more criminals. I completely agree with what you’re doing.”
My laughter is half relief and the other half pride. “The last thing I need is to sell my competition guns and have them turn around and use them against us.”
“I love you,” she says simply.
I’ve been waiting days to hear those words and I was beginning to think it would never happen. I lean in so we’re nose to nose. “Not everything I do is good, Madison.”
She moves her hand and tweaks my nipple. “Baby steps. I want to be part of it all. It’s time. I’ve hidden for long enough. Besides, you’re a good man.” Her hand travels up and she pulls my ear because my hair is too short for her to give it a good jerk. “You’re my man and I love you,” she says again.
I kiss her with all the passion she deserves. How I found her is one of life’s biggest mysteries. The kiss moves from
lips to tongue and teeth and it’s leading to so much more, when my cell phone rings. Her sigh of frustration almost makes me smile again. “Forget about it,” I whisper while gently kissing her jawline.
“No. See who’s calling,” she insists with a breathy whisper.
With a groan, I reach over her and grab the phone from the nightstand, where I placed it before removing my pants. “It’s the control room,” I say after reading the display.
“Take the call, Moon.”
I click the button and Cal’s voice fills my ear. “Gomez and Miller were attacked at the mall with automatic weapons. We’ve sent two teams to meet them. Hold on,” he says. The phone clicks and I wait. Twenty long seconds later, he comes back on the line. “They’re coming in hot. ETA ten minutes.”
“Are there injuries?”
“They’re alive, no reported injuries right now.”
“I’m coming down.”
Madison jumps from the bed and runs for her closet after I explain what’s going on. “We’re in this together,” she reminds me. “Don’t leave me out.”
Our entire conversation spins through my mind and I can’t forget that she depended on me to save her. I will carry the guilt with me forever. I never want her waiting for me to rescue her again. I want the strong independent woman I fell in love with and married. That’s who she is.
My wife is one hell of a woman.
Chapter Twenty
Madison
It’s not that my world has suddenly changed to sunshine and roses, but it’s still hard to think of facing the other people in the house. Our home is fifty-five hundred square feet of living space, not counting the garages, and it’s never bothered me that we don’t live alone. This works for our lifestyle. Now it’s different. My friends aren’t dumb and they’ve figured out what happened to me. If they’re not sure, they suspect. My absence these past two days only confirms their fear.
My gaze turns to the bed, which Moon has straightened. For a brief moment, I want to climb back in and bury myself in darkness again. I mentally pull myself together. If Cori can leave her room, I can do it too. “I’m ready,” I tell Moon after slipping into jeans, a shirt, and athletic shoes. I would usually wear shorts around the house at this time of year, but if we need to leave quickly to help Alex, I want to be prepared. Putting an uncovered knee to the ground in the heat is never fun so jeans are a must. I clip my gun holster to the belt at my waist and push my 9 mm Glock into it. Just the pressure of the gun on my hip comforts me and I’m able to draw a deep breath into my lungs.
Moon is dressed in one of his never-ending supply of white dress shirts, dark slacks, and tie minus his jacket. The man feels naked when he’s not in a suit and tie, but he usually leaves the jacket off in the house. I’ve never understood how he handles the high temperatures of Arizona. He says it’s his Mexican blood and he’s made for the heat. Yeah, I snorted the first time he said it. The man is hot no matter how you dress him.
Stress shows around his eyes and I stop delaying. At my nod, he takes my hand and gives it a firm squeeze. With him beside me, I know I can do this.
Two Dogs is lying outside the door and I almost trip over him. I lean down and scratch his head. I glance at Moon. “It was a dirty trick to close him in the room with me.”
He gives me a tender smile. “I was desperate. The damn goat was next.”
“Fred might have helped.” Moon gives me one of his looks. Fred the goat and Phily the cat live at our cabin in Flagstaff. Poor he-man Alex discovered he was allergic to cats, so Phily had to have a new home. The cabin was a compromise and the animals give us a reason to visit often. Two Dogs stays here even though he and Gabriella are in a constant battle of wills. We’ve created two homes and both are filled with love. The cabin up north is our getaway from stress and the constant barrage of security.
I give Two Dogs another pat on the head and push back my shoulders. He follows on my left and Moon holds my right hand. I’m as safe as I’ll ever be inside these walls.
I know it hurt my husband by saying I waited for him to save me. I had to speak the words, though. I had to make him understand that a piece of me is missing in our life and I need to take it back. I intend to do just that. Facing the people in this house is the first step. They’re my friends and love me. I can do it.
We reach the bottom part of the stairs and the heat from the open front doors draws our attention. Four men, armed to the teeth, stand at the bottom of the steps. They don’t just work for my husband, they’re his inner circle.
Juan looks up at us and then takes a second look. I give him a slight smile as we continue down the stairs. His white teeth sparkle when he nods in my direction. His attention turns outside when Alex, who is driving one of the black SUVs, screeches around the last corner before entering the house gates. He slams the brakes and Celina, Austin, and Melina jump from the vehicle. When the women notice me, they rush up the outside stairs where I’m now standing in the doorway. Moon gives my hand a squeeze, releases me, and steps away seconds before I move outside and the women surround me.
Celina’s arms circle my shoulders first and I hug her back trying not to cry in front of the men. I glance behind her and see Alex. He’s staring at me. Before Celina can pass me to Melina, Alex gently but rudely pushes his way forward, lifts me off my feet, and gives me the hug of a lifetime. “You big oaf, let me down. You’re bleeding all over me.”
He only tightens his arms, which of course makes me cry. “I don’t want to cry in front of you, so please help me keep a semblance of dignity.”
“Cry all you want, mi hermana, I’ll beat the shit out of anyone who looks sideways.”
“Stop that,” I say and slap his shoulder. “You need to have your wound taken care of. I think it needs stitches.”
“This scratch,” he points in the general vicinity of his face and sees the blood covering his hand. “I’m not dying, which means you can stitch me up and I don’t need to put up with Carlo’s bitching. Besides, Celina doesn’t have the stomach for piercing flesh.” He steps back and winks. The man is a killer, but his humor is a bigger part of him. Humor and his love for Celina.
We move inside the house and I see my husband deep in conversation with Austin. Alex makes a beeline their way so he doesn’t miss anything important, and Melina finally gets her turn to hug me. The best thing that ever happened to Austin was this woman. I wish she still worked for me at the agency, but I want her happy more than anything and Austin makes her happy.
“It’s so good to have you back,” she says, her throat clogging with emotion.
“No crying,” I admonish. “Cori and I are doing better.”
“She’s strong. Hell, you’re both so damn strong. I’m incredibly sorry for the pain my brother brought to your doorstep,” she says sincerely, guilt and worry wrapped in the words.
“That monster isn’t your brother. You can’t possibly share a bloodline. He’s evil through and through so never apologize for that pile of shit again.” This time it’s more than an admonishment.
She manages not to cry and gives me a smartass reply. “Yes, ma’am.”
Moon comes up behind us. “If you need some time, I’ll hold off this meeting.”
His tightly pressed lips tell me he doesn’t want to do it, but he will for my sake. He’s obviously disturbed by what Austin and Alex told him. “I’ll catch up with these ladies later,” I assure him and give Celina and Melina another hug.
“Conference room,” Moon says to the men. He threads his fingers through mine and leads me down the hallway. This is the no-go room when there’s a problem. That doesn’t mean I haven’t invited myself inside when the occasion calls for it. Celina and I have both been in meetings, but it’s not the norm. No more burying my head in the sand. It’s time for me to take my place.
Melina and Celina stay behind. The men, including our security team, don’t question me being there. One of the guys hands Alex a washcloth and he covers the wound on the side of his
head, pressing it down to stop the bleeding. He then offers me another wink, the jerk. I’m not an idiot; I know he’s doing it to show how damn tough he is.
Me caveman, blood is good.
These last six months, I’ve had trouble reconciling who Alex is and what he does for Moon. He kills and he’s not a quick or gentle executioner. I know he keeps us safe and that was good enough for me until uncertainty set in. Stupid really because Alex could have killed me when I witnessed Moon shoot a man before Moon and I became a couple. I was a disgruntled PI longing for my job as an officer. Black and white was part of my job and I rarely saw the gray areas. Instead of killing me, Alex helped change my entire life for the better. He took me to my future husband. The first time I met Alex, I fell and hit my head. When I woke up, I was at Moon’s home, in his bed. I have a lot to thank Alex for. He called me his sister earlier. I’ll take him as a brother any day.
“It was definitely cartel,” Alex says and Austin agrees. Austin has grown on me. It helps that Melina loves him so much and that he loves her in return. There’s still something off about him. It’s something missing behind his eyes and I’ll admit it scares me. The first time I saw him, I didn’t think he had a soul. Melina’s love changed that.
My husband speaks next. “Cal, get men on this. I want to know who they are. We have the gun shipment going south in another week if I can arrange it. If this is the Muerte Cartel, we’ll give the town of El Flores more firepower than they need to take them out. We’ll also double our men down there.”
“That will leave us short no matter where you take the men from,” Alex says.
“We’ll make do,” Moon snaps, telling Alex there is no room for discussion. My husband’s good at that and when it’s me on the other end of his “me the boss” statements, I want to kick him in the shins.
Inferno (A Hotter Than Hell Novel Book 7) Page 9
