by Emma Lea
The cake was brought out to appropriate oohs and ahs and the candles were lit. Happy Birthday was sung and candles were blown out with cheering. All the while, Declan edged closer and closer to Brandi intending to take her arm and lead her away to a quiet room and get to the bottom of what was going on with her. So he was as surprised as everyone else when her knees buckled and she swayed, losing her balance and falling into his arms like her marionette strings had been cut.
Alarmed adults looked at him but thankfully the kids were too busy eating cake to notice that Cinderella had swooned. Trying not to draw any attention to them, he headed for the house carrying her slight weight. She seemed to have lost more weight, which he probably should have noticed before now, but having her in his arms brought it into stark reality. Her face was gaunt, her cheeks hollow and dark circles under her eyes. Her skin had lost its normally lustrous tanned glow and he could see the fine lines of veins snaking like vines up her neck.
He took her to the front room and sat on the sofa, keeping her on his lap. He heard someone come in behind him and looked up to see Bailey’s frightened look.
“Is she okay?” Bailey asked.
“I don’t know,” he replied. “She just… fainted.”
Brandi groaned in his arms and opened her eyes. When she focused on him she smiled softly before her brain engaged and she remembered she was angry at him. He still didn’t know why. She struggled to get off his lap but he held her and her voluminous dress in place, not ready to let go. His own pulse was beating a staccato rhythm and a rush of relief washed over him as her eyes snapped at him. If her anger was anything to go by, she would be fine.
“Let me go.”
“No,” he said, “not until you tell me what happened.”
She looked from him to Bailey and something in Bailey’s gaze must have given her pause.
“What happened?” she asked and the tremor in her voice cracked his heart wide open.
“You fainted, sweetie,” Bailey said reaching over to take her hand. “Declan caught you before you hit the ground.” Bailey drew her eyebrows together in concern. “Are you okay? Has this ever happened before?”
Brandi shook her head slowly. “I fainted?” she asked. “That’s never happened before.”
“Have you been sick?”
She jolted at the sound of his voice but then held herself unnaturally still.
“It’s probably just because I haven’t eaten this morning,” she said. “I was too nervous before the party.”
“You’re saying this is because of low blood sugar?” Declan asked and he couldn’t keep the heat out of his voice. She had given him heart palpitations, fainting like that, and it was because she hadn’t been taking care of herself. He looked again at her thinness, the way her collarbones poked out, and he growled low in his throat. “How many meals have you been skipping?”
Bailey quickly excused herself and Declan could only hope it was so she could get Brandi a plate of energy rich food. Brandi turned angry eyes on him and struggled to get off his lap, but he held her secure.
“I don’t think that is any of your concern,” she growled. “Now let me up.”
“No,” he said simply. “Not until you tell me why you are so angry at me. Is it just because you’re hangry?”
“Hangry?”
“You know, angry because you’re hungry.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “I’m a whole lot more than hangry, you rat bastard.”
His head jerked back like she had slapped him. “What the hell, Brandi? What have I done?”
“What was her name?” she asked and then shook her head. “No, don’t tell me, I don’t want to know. I hope she was worth it.” She struggled again and Declan was so surprised that he let her go and she jumped from his lap. She swayed slightly and reached out to steady herself and Declan was on her feet, reaching for her.
“Stay away from me,” she said, stepping out of his reach.
“Brandi,” he pleaded, “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
She swirled around in a swish of pale blue tulle and nailed him with a death look. “Where were you Friday night, Declan?” she asked in a low voice and he swallowed.
“Fuck,” he breathed and squeezed the bridge of his nose. “It’s not what you think—”
“Really? It sounded a lot like you attended a fundraiser with a date who wasn’t me, or that’s what Dr. Shane told me when he bailed me up at the hospital yesterday.”
“The fuck he did,” Declan growled. “I’ll kill the fucking bastard for laying a hand on you.”
“You gave up that right when you decided to date other women without telling me.”
“What?” Bailey’s startled gasp made Declan groan. Great. Now he would have two irate women to deal with over something that was inconsequential.
“It’s not what you think,” he tried again, this time with a placating tone. “My mother—”
“Don’t even bother,” Brandi said, storming from the room. He made a move to follow her but stopped at Bailey’s look.
He was left standing there looking after them as Bailey turned and strode after the woman that had turned his life completely upside down.
20
“Brandi, please!”
Brandi growled at the continued knocking on her door and Declan’s voice as he pleaded with her to let him in.
“Let me explain!”
If he kept it up she was going to be in trouble with the body corporate of the building and they already didn’t like her. The knocking picked up in both pace and volume and she stormed across the floor and pulled the door open. Declan stumbled across the threshold like he had been leaning on the door and looked up at her startled.
“You’re not going to go away until I listen to what you have to say, are you?”
He stood with his hands shoved in his suit pants and a desperate look on his face. “No,” he said.
With a huff of annoyance, she gave in. “Fine,” she said throwing her arm out to indicate he should go in and sit in the living room.
She closed the door as he stepped past her and she caught his scent. Her eyes closed momentarily before she got herself under control. She was mad at him. She needed to keep hold of that anger if she was going to get through this conversation with her self-respect intact.
“Okay, say what you’ve come to say,” she said as she walked into the living room and sat opposite him. Declan had made himself comfortable on the loveseat and there was no way she was going fall into the trap of sitting beside him.
“Yes, I went to the fundraiser with another woman,” he began but held up his hand when she tried to speak, “but she means nothing to me.” He stood and started to pace and Brandi watched him, her stomach rolling over itself as she waited for him to continue. “I should have told you, explained what I was doing, but you’ve been so fragile lately and I didn’t want to do anything to upset you.”
“Don’t blame me for this—”
“No, that’s not what I’m doing. I’m just trying to explain my reasoning.” He took a breath. “My mother wanted me to give a cheque to the foundation in Caitlyn’s name. I knew you wouldn’t be up to attending and I was quite prepared to go alone but my mother had other ideas. I don’t know if you picked up much about my family, but they like to control me, something I’m, unfortunately, very good at letting them do. Anyway, she made me a deal. I go to the fundraiser with Annalise and she will leave you and I alone for six months.”
“You had to bribe your mother to not interfere in our lives?” Brandi asked, not sure if she was more appalled at his mother or him.
He knelt down in front of her and took her hands in his. “I know you don’t understand. I know that to you, my family must seem like some weird medieval village of idiots, but believe me when I say that getting her to back off for six months is a big win.”
“Why does it matter?” Brandi asked. “We’re not really in a relationship.” Her heart was pounding in her th
roat and she could barely breathe waiting for his response.
“But that’s the thing,” he said, squeezing her hands in his, “I want us to be in a real relationship. I love spending time with you. I have loved getting to know you and I want to know more about you. I want us to try this out for real. I can’t promise it won’t be a bit rocky here and there because I’ve never been in a real relationship before, but I want to try and I want to try with you.”
Brandi exhaled. “I want that too,” she said and she saw his shoulders relax. “But six months? What happens when the six months is up?”
“I’m working on that,” he said, standing and drawing her up with him. “Let’s not worry about that right now. Right now I just want to take you in my arms and kiss you and tell you how glad I am that you want to do this with me.”
She smiled up at him. “Then kiss me,” she whispered.
He lowered his head and brushed his lips across hers. She closed her eyes and for the first time since they had been doing this strange little dance, she let her heart hope for something more.
He lifted his head and his eyes looked troubled. She frowned in response. “What is it?”
“I have to go to Le Beau,” he said. “I want you to come with me but I know that you can’t get out of work at such short notice.”
“When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow morning,” he said with a sigh. “I hate to leave so soon after us making this decision but if I don’t go the casino’s construction is going to be pushed back yet again. I should only be gone about a week. Will you be okay?”
She smiled at him. “Of course I’ll be okay,” she said, “I’ve been looking after myself for a long time now.”
He reached out and gently stroked her cheek. “I don’t like how thin you’ve gotten and you scared the absolute shit out of me today when you fainted. Are you sure you’re okay?”
She nodded again. “I’m fine. It’s just the lingering effects of the stomach bug I had a couple of weeks ago and the grief…”
He pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. “I want you to go and see a doctor, okay.” She started to protest but he shushed her. “Just go and get a check-up for me, okay? I’m worried about you and if I can’t be here to keep an eye on you myself then I want to know for absolute certain that everything is okay.”
She looked up at him and the care and concern that she saw in his eyes made her melt inside. “Okay,” she whispered. “I’ll go and get a check-up, but I assure you, I’m fine.”
He kissed her again, taking it deeper this time and she let herself get carried away in him. She would miss him like crazy but at least she had something to look forward to. When he got back they could actually be a couple for real and do all the couple-y things that people did when they were in a normal relationship. She couldn’t wait.
“I'm really sorry Bailey,” Brandi said, “it's been a really shit week and I…”
Harper snorted and turned away, a sneer on her face. It had been a shitty week. Declan had gone and he’d just told her that he had to stay an extra couple of days because of some problem with permits or something. Not to mention the summons she’d received from Dr. Hemsure who had informed her that Dr. Shane had lodged a complaint about her. He was claiming sexual harassment! She was so mad she wanted to spit.
“Do you have something to say?” Brandi asked. She would never normally challenge anyone but with everything that had happened to her over the last week, Brandi was at the end of her rope. The last few weeks had been the worst of her life, starting with the debacle at Courtney’s daughter’s birthday party and the fallout from that. Then there was losing Caitlyn, fighting with Declan, Declan going away and this constant low level nausea that just wouldn’t let up. Now the thing with the hospital and Brandi just couldn’t take one more thing.
Harper glared at her. “This is a dress fitting for Bailey’s wedding. A wedding you agreed to be part of. I think that demands your respect and your cooperation. Bailey has hardly asked anything of us, surely whatever crisis you've had in your life can be put aside for one hour so that we can focus on the bride.”
“Harper…” Bailey began.
“No, Bailey, don't defend her. What could possibly be so important that she has to run out on you today? A day that has been booked months in advance. Was there a Disney Princess emergency? Or maybe she broke a nail?”
“Is that what you think?” Brandi asked turning on Harper. “I have been nothing but nice to you and you have been a complete bitch to me in return. You have no idea what is going on in my life because you have been too busy making assumptions to bother to get to know me.” Brandi took a breath. “For your information, not that you deserve any explanations from me, but a little girl who I was very close to died a couple of weeks ago. She was twelve and had cancer and had been sick for a long time. So excuse me for being a little unfocused as I grieve her loss.”
“Oh God,” Harper murmured, covering her mouth with her hand in shock. “I'm so sorry. I had no idea-”
“Of course not because you know nothing about me! You look at me and you make immediate judgements about who I am and what my life looks like. You think because I'm pretty and choose to dress up as a princess to entertain little girls that I have nothing of value to offer this world. You look at my blonde hair and blue eyes and immediately think I'm dumb or a bimbo or both.
“What gives you the right to make judgements about me because of an accident of birth? You think my life is all sunshine and roses? You think it's easy for me to make friends? Most women hate me on sight because they're jealous or they think I'm going to try and steal their man. They look at me and see a competitor not a potential friend. Do you think it's fair that I walk into a room and I'm immediately met with suspicion? And okay, maybe I don't need every woman on the planet to like me, but what about finding someone to fall in love with and share my life? You think that's easy for me because of the way I look? Men look at me and see a potential check mark on some ‘guys only’ bucket list. Slept with the hot chick, check. Do you think they're interested in me beyond dipping their wick and having the bragging rights about fucking the pretty blonde bimbo?
“I walk in a bar and eyes follow me. Women want to stab me and men want to fuck me. A guy buys me a drink, do you think he just wants to get to know me? You think that that drink is obligation free? And what if I refuse him, do you think he goes quietly? No. He has to get all upset and offended and tell the entire bar what a cock tease I am just because I dress pretty and accepted a drink from him.
“And what about getting a job? I am a computer programmer. Don't get me started on what my life was like at university. You think I could get a job as a programmer anywhere else but with my dad's company? I tried. Nearly every job interview I went to I was turned down before I even got past the initial questions. They took one look at me and made a judgement call on my looks without even looking at my experience or work history. On the other side of the spectrum, those who did want to employ me only did so because they thought I’d be so grateful for the job that I would sleep with them.
“So you think my life is so carefree and easy because I was born looking like this? You think that I should make myself less-than because the way I look makes you uncomfortable? You think I don't know how to be a good friend because I'm pretty and come from a wealthy family? The fact is, Harper, you don't know me at all.” Brandi took a breath and ignoring the tears rolling down her face, she turned to Bailey. “I'm sorry Bailey, I really am. I love you and I understand if you don't want me in the wedding party anymore.” With that, she turned and walked out of the bridal shop leaving a stunned group in her wake.
Brandi dropped into the chair beside the doctor’s desk and grimaced. That scene with Harper in the bridal shop was brutal and she had no excuse except that she just didn’t have any filters left. Now she was at the doctor’s office and she just wanted to go home and sleep. She was so tired all the time and with the nausea on top of
everything else, she was just done with the world. She wanted to crawl under the covers and hide from everyone and everything until she felt better.
“So,” the doctor said with a smile, “what’s going on with you?”
Brandi explained her symptoms and the doctor listened attentively.
“Do you think you might be pregnant?” the doctor asked and Brandi jerked in surprise.
“Excuse me?”
“Pregnant,” the doctor said calmly. “Have you had unprotected sex in the last month?”
“No, oh wait a minute, yes, but I’m on the pill.”
“It’s not one hundred percent effective,” the doctor said, “and weren’t you sick a few weeks ago with a stomach bug?”
“Yes, so?”
“If you were throwing up a lot then that would nullify the pill.”
Brandi slumped back in the chair. Well, fuck.
The doctor handed Brandi a specimen jar and sent her to pee. Brandi did as she was told and handed the jar over. The doctor pulled out a strip and dunked it in the specimen jar and then they waited.
Brandi didn’t know what to feel. Stunned was her initial reaction followed by fear. What would she do if she was pregnant? What would Declan say?
“It’s positive,” the doctor said, watching her closely.
“I’m pregnant?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
“You are.”
Brandi felt like she was floating. The world grew fuzzy around her and she had the oddest sensation under her skin.
“Easy now,” the doctor said, pressing a plastic cup of water in her hand. “Sip this slowly,” she said.
Brandi did as she was told. Her brain refused to accept that this was real. It couldn’t be true. Sure, she wanted kids, she loved kids. But she had always thought she would be married and the decision to have a child would be one that she made with the input of her husband. Being pregnant with Declan’s baby was a whole different scenario entirely.
