by Dean, Ali
“Those are pretty words, Cruz,” I choked out.
“Yeah, and that’s because they’re true. Everything between us matters. I can’t have you and keep you safe. Monday night proved it. But I can’t guarantee your safety without me either. Not anymore. I made my decision. I took the risk. I need you to decide now, Hazel.”
My head swam with his nearness, his full lips inches from my own. He closed that space, swiping his mouth against my own. My lips parted without me allowing it, and I couldn’t think. His tongue caressed mine and I lost my breath, arching into him.
He pulled away just when it was getting good, when I was really losing myself. “Does that help you decide or do you need more convincing?”
“More convincing,” I said on a breathy exhale.
He smiled and I lost my breath. “Stop fighting it, Hazel.”
I almost nodded. I almost said, “Okay Cruz, yes, just be mine, whatever you want.” But a sharp pinching in my chest made me take a step back in an attempt to gain clarity.
It didn’t help. He was right. Emmett was right. Dad was right, even if he hadn’t spelled it out for me. Everyone was talking about a decision I had to make, but there wasn’t one. I didn’t really have a choice when it came to Cruz Donovan, did I? And if I couldn’t walk away from him, then I had my answer about everything else.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Everything is different,” Louise announced as she pointed a carrot stick at me. “We’re at the same table in the same cafeteria we’ve had lunch at for three years but this year, people are watching us. It feels like they are, at least. Are they?” I indulged her and made a big show of sweeping my eyes around the room.
She was right though – people were looking our way, whispering. Whatever. “It’s probably because Cruz got all up in my business at my locker earlier.”
Louise laughed and shook her head as she bit into her apple. “That’s an oversimplification. Girl, you know you and Cruz have been all anyone can talk about for the past ten days. All this stuff’s been going down, Moody’s house getting shot at, Flynn Malone killing himself in a bathtub. Then the huge drug bust that went down Sunday morning with rumors the Malones were involved. But no one around here seems to care about any of it. They only want to hear about what’s happening with Hazel and Cruz.”
“Wait, what did you say about a drug bust?” I put down the turkey wrap I was holding and moved my hands under the table. Tension pulsed through me and I clenched my fists, my nails digging into my palms.
Louise opened her mouth to respond but her eyes darted over my shoulder and she seemed to lose focus.
“Hey ladies,” Bodhi greeted us before sliding into the bench seat on my side. Moody was with him, and he took a seat beside Louise.
I suppressed a groan of frustration at the interruption. I knew I’d be asking for the full scoop from the guys soon, and it would include an explanation of whatever went down Saturday night or early Sunday morning. But it would be nice to hear the rumors beforehand, get a little warm-up. I had to admit, as eager as I was to know what was going on with my dad and the guys, I was scared as hell. Once I knew, I was all in. That terrified me. Not for the reasons the guys thought they had to protect me, the dangers I was somewhat unaware of, though maybe that stuff should have frightened me. No, I was scared of what this meant for my independence. The safe little bubble of my me-centered world. I had total freedom because no one counted on me, no one really needed me. I had a feeling that bubble would burst once I let them tell me everything.
“So what’s the deal with you and Branden Malone?” Bodhi’s question to Louise snapped me out of my contemplation. I’d wanted to ask her that too. I hadn’t yet because… well, because asking her something personal like that meant she’d get to ask me about Cruz or whatever, and I wouldn’t be able to dodge the questions.
Louise sighed and I wondered if she’d brush him off. She barely knew Bodhi. Instead, she told him, “We had a thing last spring and into the summer.”
I gaped at Louise. Who was this girl? She’d been probably my closest friend last year, maybe even my best friend. I’d never asked her about guys, never known she’d had a boyfriend. She was a beautiful girl, athletic, smart as hell, but I guess I assumed she was too uptight to be into guys. That was a stupid assumption. And Branden Malone wasn’t just any guy.
“How did you meet him?” I managed to ask.
“Oh, through Blake actually.”
“Blake Carmen? My ex-boyfriend?”
“Yeah. He and Branden are friends. That’s why the Malones were at Patriot Taphouse the other night.”
I nodded. Yeah, but that didn’t explain anything.
“They watched some of our club games, remember? You’d leave with Blake. Branden introduced himself once after you two left. We started hanging out.
“At first I thought he had a thing for you, Hazel, because he was always asking about you. It was weird, you know, since Blake was his hockey teammate. But then I realized it was just the only thing we had in common. You were his reason to approach me.”
“What kind of things did he want to know about Hazel?” Moody asked, and the hair on my spine rose at this.
“Oh, you know, if she hung out with you guys still, whether there was anything going on with Hazel and Cruz. He might have been looking out for Blake, but I also think his cousin Sean had a thing for you, Hazel.” Louise concluded.
I felt Bodhi shift on the seat beside me and we exchanged a look. I still didn’t know what the deal was with the Malones, but I knew it wasn’t a crush that had Branden and Sean interrogating Louise about me.
“Uh, like what else did he want to know? What did you tell him?” I wanted to ask why this was the first time I’d heard about it but I already knew the answer. We didn’t talk, not really, unless it was about school assignments, college, or soccer. I’d thought Louise was a little boring, but maybe I’d been wrong. Maybe I’d labeled her that because I wanted to protect myself, stay in my little bubble. Maybe I was the one who needed to get a life.
“He asked weird stuff. What you did with your time, if you hung out with anyone else, where you went when you weren’t studying or training. I told him all you did was study and train.” Yes, I was definitely the one who needed to get a life. Louise softened her tone and offered a small smile. “Maybe this year that will be different.”
She might disapprove of certain high school shenanigans, but Louise wasn’t entirely risk-averse. After all, if she’d dated Branden Malone, she had to be at least slightly adventurous.
“Why’d you and Branden break up?” Bodhi asked.
“Oh, I broke up with him. It wasn’t any one thing in particular. I was focused on college applications and he already knows he’ll go to Harvard even if he bombs the SATs. That was irritating. He was also kind of shady sometimes. I didn’t need to know what he was up to all the time, but I felt like he was keeping secrets. Like he had this whole life I didn’t know about.”
I snorted. That sounded awfully familiar. Someone kicked me under the table and I knew it was Bodhi.
I said, “Well, he probably did. He goes to the Academy. Different world over there.”
“Yeah well, it goes without saying that I did not approve of some of his lifestyle choices, like the partying and the fighting,” Louise said, and I had to smile. At least I wasn’t totally ignorant about her opinions. This was still the Louise I knew.
There was a long pause after that, as we all processed her words. She was also saying she didn’t approve of Bodhi and Moody’s lifestyle choices, given the fight that went down only a few days ago. But she didn’t apologize for it, and I respected that.
Louise cleared her throat. “Is anyone going to tell me what Monday night was all about?”
More silence. I felt guilty, like I was keeping something from her even though I knew about as much as she did. “The guys hate the Malones but they haven’t really told me why,” I finally answered.
Neither Bodhi or Moody added a
nything. Not an apology or a joke or anything else to fill the silence.
“Anyway,” I said, “you want to come over tonight to edit the college essays? I know I’ve been putting it off for a while but I want to get that shit done.”
The guys seemed relieved by the subject change. It also got them off post-soccer-practice babysitting duty. Dad should be home, and whatever danger they thought I was in, I’d be fine at the house with Louise.
I could barely focus in my classes the rest of the afternoon. Cruz was in AP English with me, and he took the desk beside mine. English was one of my favorite subjects, but I was afraid I’d get a failing grade with him so close. We kept stealing glances at each other, finding ways to touch briefly. It felt so juvenile and sweet, such a contrast from the heavy weight of everything else going on. It was as if we shared our own secret now, one where we were finally admitting to each other just how much we liked the other. Just how hard we’d been crushing.
Each time he caught me staring he’d bite his lip and smirk. It was hot as hell and it was just for me. I wanted him so badly that even soccer practice was a struggle. I was regretting making plans for college applications with the girls, especially when I found Cruz waiting for me in the parking lot after school.
He strode right up, dirt smeared on his cheek from practice, and pulled me up to his body. His mouth came down to mine and he let his hands roam low on my hips. Only for a second before he pulled away and took a step back.
“Come on. Let’s go somewhere. You don’t have homework yet, do you?”
I knew his meaning by the desperation in his voice and I felt it too. Right in my lower belly, in the fire of need that had been pulsing through me since the kiss this morning and that had only grown throughout the day. If we were alone, I’d jump him right here. I was tempted to do it with an audience. I knew exactly what would happen once we found somewhere private.
“I can’t. Louise is coming over for college application stuff tonight.”
As much as it pained me, I knew it was probably for the best I’d already made plans. He didn’t hide his disappointment. It was all over his face. “Save tomorrow night for me.”
“I will. Promise.”
He nodded, breathing heavily. I felt the need in him too. It vibrated between us. The wanting.
“Do you need a ride home? You’re going to your place?”
“Yeah, but I’ll catch a ride with Louise.”
Bodhi and Emmett had picked me up for school this morning so I didn’t have my truck.
“That’s probably smart. If I got you on my bike, I wouldn’t take you home.” He didn’t mean it as a joke, either. His words were practically hoarse when he added, “I’m hanging on by a thread as it is, Hazel. I want to throw you over my shoulder and take you away so bad. But I’ll be good. I’ve waited this long. I can give you one more day.”
I practically moaned just from his words. What would it be like with Cruz?
“Ready?” Louise called to me from the other side of the lot.
“Yeah, coming,” I called back. “See you later,” I told Cruz, forcing myself to walk away.
I felt him watching me all the way to Louise’s car.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“You missed the turn.”
Louise glanced over at me and turned down the radio. “I know. Look, I’m super sorry but I need your support.”
I shifted in my seat, suddenly hot even though the window was down and there was a nice breeze. “Oookay. What’s up?”
“It’s Branden. He called me today and begged to talk to me. He’s been trying to talk to me ever since I dumped him. Wants to get back together. I’ve told him no, but maybe if I meet him in person like he’s asked it’ll give him closure.”
I tugged at my shirt, my skin itching. “Okay. That makes sense. But what can I do?” I didn’t know Branden well but from what I knew, he wouldn’t like being dumped.
“I just need someone there with me.” I looked at Louise, waiting for her to elaborate. “He wanted to meet at his house. I really didn’t want to, but there you go, I have trouble saying no to the guy. I need you there to make sure I do what I’m planning on doing.”
“Which is?”
“Confirming that we are broken up and it will stay that way.”
This was why I didn’t do the real friendship thing. At lunch I’d realized I’d been a lousy friend to Louise. I thought maybe I could do better, maybe it’d been a mistake to keep everyone at arm’s length. That’s why I suggested meeting up tonight. But now I was exactly where I didn’t want to be.
I sighed, knowing I had to get Louise to change her mind. “There was the fight between the Malones and the guys on Monday night. They told me to stay away from the Malones. I shouldn’t be going to Branden’s house.” I felt the panic rising even as I tried to play it cool. It sounded ridiculous; I knew it.
“But that’s between Cruz and his group. Just because you and Cruz are a couple now and your cousins were fighting the Malones, doesn’t mean the Malones have any problem with you.”
Louise sounded all rational. I almost agreed with her. The whole thing with the Malones didn’t involve me. Yet it wasn’t only the guys who’d warned me. Dad had too. Plus, there was the matter of our house being robbed. I trusted they weren’t overreacting. As much as I wanted to be there for Louise, I didn’t think this particular scenario required my presence, especially if it was at Branden’s house.
“Look, I know it seems paranoid but I can’t go with you, Louise. Maybe if you were meeting somewhere else, like at school, but I can’t go to Branden Malone’s house.”
“Oh come on, we’re almost there. It will be quick. Ten minutes, tops.”
Maybe it was my own mounting panic that made everything distorted but I swore she picked up her speed then.
“Louise, I’m serious. I can’t go with you. It’s dangerous.”
She huffed out a noise and I couldn’t decide if it was laughter or frustration. “Fine. You can stay in the car.”
She turned into a driveway then, and I knew it was too late. I took in the brick mansion and the circular drive in front. The home screamed old money, with stone pillars and three stories of windows. We came to a stop behind a black Lincoln Navigator.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” Louise said before jumping out of the driver’s seat and jogging to the front door.
I took out my cell from my backpack and saw Dad had called and Emmett had texted. I hesitated a moment on who to contact. I needed to let someone know where I was, but I also didn’t want them charging over here and making it worse if this really wasn’t a big deal. Deciding Dad was my best choice I hit the button to return his call, but at the same moment my phone was ripped out of my hand.
Sean had reached into the open window and he looked at the screen and touched a button, ending the call. Before I could process what that meant, he opened the door.
“Come on in, Hazel. We’ve been waiting for you.”
“Uh, yeah. No thanks.”
He leaned all the way inside and I was too shocked to push him away. Next thing I knew, my seatbelt was unbuckled and he was hauling me out of the car.
“What the hell! Get your hands off me.”
I twisted and managed to get an elbow into his ribs, a kick to his shin, but he didn’t loosen his hold.
“Come on man, let’s get her inside.”
Branden, sporting a black eye, came forward and grabbed me from the other side. Their thick grasps on either side of me made it impossible to move.
“We just want to talk to you, Hazel.” Branden tried to play good cop. “You can get it over with and come inside with us or we can do it the hard way.” I glared at him, but let them pull me forward to the door. Even if I got out of their hold, which wasn’t going to happen, Louise had the car keys and Sean had my phone. I was fast, I was strong, but I wouldn’t make it far.
The front door opened right when we got there, and Louise stood there. She didn’t
look surprised, and that’s when the inkling became certainty. “Why?” I managed to grit out.
“They just want to talk to you, Hazel.” She appeared entirely unaffected by my prisoner status.
“Really? This look like a nice little conversation to you?” The sarcasm was heavy. The beefy hockey players, bruised from Monday’s fight, held me up by my arms on either side.
“The stakes were too high,” Louise said on a sigh. “I didn’t have a choice. I’m sorry.”
She didn’t sound sorry. She didn’t look guilty either as she looked me in the eye. No, Louise had just checked something important off her to-do list and wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible.
“Can I go?” she asked, moving her eyes to Sean.
He nodded. “We hear about you telling anyone and deal’s off. Anyone calls you to ask, you tell them you took her home, dropped her off, and that was it.”
Louise saluted him, brushed by us, and jogged down the steps. I was grateful then I’d never gotten closer to her, because this still cut deep. Like a knife slash to the ribs, sharp, painful, but I’d recover with minimal scarring. It was a betrayal, but it wasn’t fatal. It was one I could move past. One that made me wonder if I’d been right all along to keep people at a distance.
I didn’t know then that this revelation would only grow more acute as the night went on. Fifteen minutes later, I was sitting on a chair in the Malones’ basement. My legs were duct-taped to the chair, and my arms were tied behind my back. They’d also blindfolded me. I’d cooperated all the way down the stairs, hoping I could get this over with and they’d let me leave.
By the time I realized they were securing me to the chair, it was too late. I don’t know if they were actually worried I’d escape. My best guess was that they wanted to scare me. This was a game to them. It had to be, because what else could it be?
Then the questions started. First from Sean.
“How long has your dad been working for Braven?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. I didn’t even know he was working for them.”
