by Dean, Ali
I was panting and writhing by the time he got to my center. I could feel his hot breath through my thin sleep shorts.
“Where else?” he asked.
I blinked back my confusion.
“Where else did they touch you?” he clarified.
I moved my hand to my left breast. “Branden touched me here,” I said through a tight throat.
Cruz had been careful to keep his expression neutral. His eyes told me a different story but he was trying to play it cool. Now, they were blazing fire. His touch was light and gentle but I felt his fury all the way to my bones.
Cruz pulled down a strap of my tank. I was braless underneath, and my chest heaved in anticipation.
He was moving slowly, and his breathing was harsh, as if this entire process was painful for him. I realized he probably had that sensation I’d had earlier; he was turned on, losing control, but didn’t want to be.
I attempted to encourage him, give him permission to continue. “Keep going, Cruz. I know you want to see my boobs. They’re pretty spectacular.”
Cruz huffed out a laugh, but it almost sounded like he was choking. His movements didn’t speed up, but he eventually pulled one strap down until one side of my chest was exposed. Cruz gazed at my bare breast, the rage behind his stare glazed by desire now. I loved the way he looked at me, not only with wanting, but with appreciation and maybe even adoration. Cruz leaned forward. His hair brushed along the sensitive flesh and I inhaled sharply, needing more. I felt his tongue swipe over the nipple and my hips rocked involuntarily.
“Where else?” he asked, his breath on my neck.
“Nowhere,” I panted out. “That’s all.”
Cruz’s movements didn’t stop though. He moved to my other strap with deliberation, sliding it down and moving my cami all the way to my waist until my entire chest was bared to him.
“You absolutely do have the most amazing breasts I’ve ever seen,” Cruz stated as he stared at them in wonder.
I started to giggle but then frowned. “I don’t want to think about all the other breasts you’ve seen, Cruz. Not now. Not in my bed.” Not ever. Or anywhere, actually.
His hands reached for my chest as if he couldn’t help himself. He kept his eyes down on what his hands were doing, holding me, as he spoke.
“Hazel, I may have been with others, but I was just practicing for you. I only fooled around with them.” My frown grew deeper as he spoke and when his eyes finally came up to mine his expression softened. “But that was it. Fooling around. I saved myself for you.”
My heart did something funny then and I reached to brush hair back from his face to get a better look at him. His cheeks were red, his eyes dilated, but it wasn’t only lust there. It was an openness, an offering, a vulnerability.
“Are you… are you telling me you’re a virgin?” That didn’t make any sense. Cruz had been the most wanted guy in Defiance Falls for as long as I’d known him. He’d been with lots of girls, from what I’d heard. But something from the back of my mind came to the front now, about how he’d never given anyone more than a little make-out session.
Cruz was straddling me now, his hands full of my breasts, his hardness proudly straining from his sweatpants as it threatened to break free at any moment. He looked anything but virginal.
“I’m a virgin,” he confirmed. He didn’t sound ashamed. Actually, he sounded a little smug.
Shit. I had lost it to Kai, and been with Blake as well. I hoped he hadn’t expected me to wait. His eyes dimmed a bit and I saw it. He had hoped I would. It had been what he meant all those years ago when he asked me to wait. At least, that had been part of the request. How was I supposed to know?
“Cruz, you couldn’t have expected me to know. You never said anything all this time. I thought you’d forgotten everything. That I didn’t matter.”
“You really thought that?” he asked, tilting his head. He moved his hands away now, letting them move along my arms until we were holding hands.
“My head did. My heart hoped. But I didn’t listen.”
“Hmmm…” He leaned forward, brushed his lips over mine.
“All of you better listen now. I love you, Hazel Ross. I have since we kissed for the first time at the Lake and I never stopped. I never will.”
My heart pounded so loud I could barely hear my own thoughts. This gorgeous guy, with secrets so deep I’d only seen the surface, he was absolutely certain about this feeling for me. I could see it in the way he looked at me, the determination with which he held me. It wasn’t even a feeling, that was too mundane a term for it. It was everything. A visceral acceptance. I carried it with me too, deep inside, and my heart pounded loudly for me to accept it too. I nodded. “I know. I love you too. I don’t want to because I don’t know everything. You have so many secrets. But it’s the truth.” I gave a little shrug, conveying that I was in this too, but it was partially against my will.
“You’ll know everything. It’s the only way.”
“The only way?”
Cruz shifted so he lay beside me, then he gathered me to his chest and held me.
“I can’t do it without you. I need you. We all do.”
My stomach twisted with his words as exhaustion swept over me. I didn’t want to need them back. But I was afraid it was too late for that, too.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I don’t know what I was expecting the next morning, but it wasn’t this. Cruz was at the breakfast table with Dad, dressed for school.
“Bugs are out so we can talk freely,” Dad said in greeting. “You look better. How are you feeling?”
I looked better? Better than what? A girl who was high and had been sexually assaulted except wasn’t entirely sure if that’s what happened because the drugs made her kind of want it too? It all came crashing back to me -- the basement, the questions they’d asked, Dad’s helplessness. It swarmed me and threatened to take me under its pull. But then Cruz’s heated gaze as he kissed up my leg flashed through my mind. His declaration that he’d waited for me, physically and emotionally, softened the blow.
“I feel like it’s time for answers,” I responded.
Dad nodded, and Cruz stood up from the kitchen stool. “You’re getting them, all of them. It’s not something that can come in small bits though. It’s a long-ass story.”
“So, better start talking then.”
“We will. Tonight. After practice we’ll meet at Bruno’s Bar. Today we thought it best to stick to normal. School, practice, get through the day.”
“School?” Classes seemed so far away and pointless right now. “Louise’s going to be there. What am I supposed to do about her? Wait, how did you find me? Did you know she was the one who took me there?” I’d been so out of it last night I didn’t even think about how they’d gotten to me so quickly.
“She’s the one who told us where you were,” Dad answered. “She lied at first, but we got it out of her. Said she was scared of the Malones, but also convinced herself they only wanted to talk to you without the guys around. She said they offered to get her into Harvard if she helped them. And if she didn’t, they’d make it impossible for her to get into the Ivy League. To her, that was an easy choice.”
Bile rose in my throat at the last statement. Loyalty hadn’t come into her decision at all. And in an odd way, I didn’t blame her. I’d never really gone out of my way for her. We studied together, but it was mutually beneficial. We’d been teammates for years, but beyond the field, we’d never really proven ourselves to each other. Why would she ruin her future for me? Why wouldn’t she take the offer? There was no real reason in it for her. It’s not like she knew what they were really asking of her.
I shook my head. This decision was an easy one, at least. “Nothing. Let it go.”
Dad and Cruz exchanged a look but they didn’t push it.
“We won’t be doing that to Sean and Branden.” This declaration came from Cruz, and the wrath in his voice almost made me shiver.
&n
bsp; Dad cleared his throat. “Part of me wishes we’d already handled Branden and Sean last night and dealt with the consequences afterward, but I’m glad we got you out of there. That was the priority. Tonight we’ll talk about what happens to them.”
I blinked a few times, hating the sound of those names, and wishing we could just pretend it’d never happened.
Cruz placed a hand on my lower back. “Come on, the guys are coming by to get us in five with Button Bottom coffee cake. You ready?”
I looked down at my sleep shorts and the hoodie I’d thrown over my cami.
“No. Why can’t we just do this now? I don’t want to go to school.” I couldn’t handle dealing with normal right now.
Dad said, “I know you’re sick of hearing this, Haze, but the truth is, there’s a lot at play here. I’ve got a ton of work I need to pound out before it’s too late. Meanwhile, all of you need to keep everything looking as normal as possible so as not to raise any red flags or give room for suspicion. If all of you skip today, or even just you and Cruz, that doesn’t look right.”
“One more day,” I said, setting my own ultimatum. “Tonight, I want to know everything. No more secrets.”
Dad swallowed but he nodded. Cruz pulled me to him in a brief hug before pushing me out toward the staircase. “Get dressed. Coffee cake’s waiting.”
A few minutes later, all of us were squeezed into Moody’s 4Runner, with me in Cruz’s lap in the back. “Why didn’t we take your Ducati again?”
“It was at the Spot and I don’t like anyone else driving it. Besides, they were bringing coffee cake,” he said.
I took a big bite of my piece, letting crumbs fall and not caring.
Emmett watched me, looking like he had a million things he wanted to say. He put a hand on my knee. “We’re going to make this right, Haze.”
“I know,” I said, both of us apparently feeling the need to reassure each other.
“Uncle Jeremy really let you spend the night, Cruz?” Bodhi asked from the other side of Emmett.
“Yep,” Cruz said, not adding anything as his fingers ran circles on my lower back.
Emmett narrowed his eyes at Cruz. “Where’d you sleep?”
I answered that one. “My bed.”
Emmett’s eyes widened and narrowed again on me. “No way. Uncle Jeremy would never allow it.”
“Things change, Em. Yesterday was fucked up. Dad didn’t know how to handle it.”
“And Cruz did?” Bodhi asked, shaking his head in what appeared to be awe.
No one responded, and the silence was answer enough. Yeah, Cruz was the only one I really needed last night. I hated admitting that, but it also gave me a small sense of accomplishment somehow. For years I’d never really needed anyone, wanting to do it all solo. It’d been okay that way, most of the time, even if it was a little dark when I stopped to think too hard. I had to be on the go all the time to keep from getting to that place. Working toward the next straight-A report card or soccer accomplishment. That was what kept me going. But it hadn’t been enough for a while now. I’d been running out of steam.
These guys might have been the reason trouble came for me in the first place, but they were also the reason I felt more alive than ever. I might not have the story yet, but I already felt I had a purpose. A purpose for something bigger than just myself.
And last night, I’d let myself need Cruz, and he’d been there. Maybe he had to push a little but I’d wanted him there. I had a person, and it was fucking terrifying, but I could be vulnerable with him and he’d catch me. He’d be there in the morning.
When we pulled into the school parking lot, my life once again went back to feeling like a movie. This was different than when I’d been in the basement though. That would have been some sort of horror film. No, I felt like we were celebrities showing up for some big event. Everything seemed to be in slow motion, the other cars slowing to let us through, people turning to watch, stopping mid-stride as they gawked at us. I almost chuckled, but I was too busy finishing my coffee cake.
“Is it like this for you guys every morning?” I asked as Moody parked and turned off the engine.
No one asked for clarification what I meant; it was obvious, even to them, that everything was paused in the busy student lot as soon as their presence had been noticed.
Moody glanced over his shoulder at me. “Nah, it’s rarely all of us coming in one ride.”
“And never with you,” Spike added from the passenger seat, throwing me a wink.
Cruz opened the door then and I started to tumble out before he caught me. He shot me a grin. “Should I give them something else to talk about?”
Unsure how to answer as he hovered over me, my body halfway out of the car, I decided on my non-answer shrug.
His grin widened. Cruz started to lean forward, his eyes on my lips, but then we heard sirens and his hold on me stiffened. His expression went blank as he set me on my feet and stepped fully out of the car. The sirens got louder and my chest rose and fell as foreboding grew with each passing second.
I sensed all the guys getting out of the car to face the approaching sirens. They did it with deliberate calmness, but I knew they were preparing for another battle. The air crackled around us as we watched one police car followed by a second pull into the school parking lot.
I waited for Cruz to take my hand or offer comfort as the students cleared a path for the cops. The path was mostly already open because they were following where we’d just come from, heading toward us purposefully. The sirens died down as they came to a stop right behind the 4Runner.
It wasn’t Cruz who reached for me though. It was Spike, the only other one on our side of the vehicle. Cruz’s eyes remained glued on the cops as they exited the vehicle, while Spike held my arm and pulled me back on the curb. He was telling me to let Cruz handle it. Cruz took a step forward, distancing himself from me. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him as my heartbeat pounded in my ears and my throat grew tight.
There were four cops, and one of them went straight for Cruz.
“Cruz Donovan?”
Cruz didn’t respond, but tilted his head slightly downward. The cop took it for a nod, I suppose.
“You’re being taken into custody for the murder of Flynn Malone. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law…” The cop continued to recite Miranda rights as another cop stepped behind Cruz and snapped cuffs around his wrists. Cruz didn’t speak. He didn’t protest. He didn’t look at any of us as they ushered him to the back of one of their cars.
I held my breath, waiting for him to turn to look at me, but his eyes remained set ahead, his jaw a straight line. They shut the door behind him and that’s when he finally looked at me. He was determined and there was a promise there. I had no idea what it meant. I started to step forward, to do what, I don’t know, but Spike held me back, pulled me to his side.
All five of us stood there watching, along with the rest of the high school students, as the cop cars drove away. Cruz sat in the backseat, looking entirely composed. Arrested for murder, and didn’t even twitch or bat an eyelash. It was almost as if he knew it was coming.
My heart, however, was splitting in two.
Defiance Falls Revolution
Defiance Falls Book 2
Chapter 1
Cruz
I didn’t ask for this, but none of us did. Not really. The war had been going on for over a century, and the truces never lasted. Some new secret always came out, some deception was revealed, a family member murdered, a business taken down. It felt like we were destined to be fighting until we were all dead.
I did my duty, played my role, and I did it well. But I had to escape or I’d end up consumed by it. The guys, soccer, school, parties, even the girls were a distraction. It’d all been a Band-Aid, a temporary fix. I needed Hazel Ross. No matter what happened next, I was certain I’d be lost without her at my side. She gave me something real to fight for, a se
nse of meaning behind all this bullshit. The only problem was that she might not want me once she knew what I’d done. What I was all about, what I was born into and destined to deal with the rest of my life.
I couldn’t keep her in the dark any longer, and the idea that she’d never look at me the same again made my chest tight and my vision blurry. All I wanted now was to get to Hazel.
It’d only taken twelve hours to get released on bail. It was set at a million, but it could have been a dollar. I wasn’t going to run.
Uncle Cliff bailed me out. My dad’s older brother was an attorney; criminal defense wasn’t in his wheelhouse, but he already had someone in mind if this went further and we needed a criminal defense attorney. I didn’t like expanding the trust circle unless absolutely necessary, but the truth was, we needed more people in our court. We were going up against the Malones, and their reach extended far beyond their last name.
But Uncle Cliff didn’t pick me up from the courthouse. Mitch Donovan, my grandfather, was driving me away from downtown Defiance Falls, in the direction of the Lake.
“Where were you Tuesday night?” he asked.
“At the beach with Hazel and the guys,” I answered.
His eyes darted to me. “How much does she know?”
“Next to nothing. But that’s about to change.”
Gramps rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve always liked the Ross girl, Cruz. And not only because her father has made all of this possible for us.”
I smiled. “Gramps, you barely know Hazel.”
“I know enough. You forget I talk to her dad all the time. And Jeremy talks about his daughter all the time.” He let that sit for a moment before adding, “And you boys talk about her like she never left your group. You should know as well as I do that you can keep up with someone and who they are without spending time with them.”
“Maybe,” I conceded. It was different with Hazel and me though. I knew her throughout the past three years without talking to her much because I went out of my way to keep tabs on her. It was maybe a little weird, and I knew this, but that was my life in a nutshell. Nothing about it was simple.
