by Dean, Ali
“Put me down,” I whisper-yelled, shoving his chest and wiggling my body out of his hold.
He had a firm grasp, and by the time I got free, we were already in the other guest room. Cruz shut the door behind him and stood in front of it, blocking my escape.
He crossed his arms and opened his mouth but I cut him off before he could say anything. “What makes you think you can wake me up in the middle of the night and carry me to a bedroom with you after what you pulled a few hours ago?”
With the door closed and my grandparents on the second floor, I let my voice rise.
Cruz flinched slightly at my tone but he held eye contact. “Hazel, Kai’s been sniffing around, using excuses to get close to you and pretend to comfort you, ever since we got back together. The twins told him we were together, then I told him the same thing. And yet he came back. To my party, on my property. Words weren’t working.”
I threw my hands in the air. “Are you kidding me? You’re kidding right now, aren’t you?” I was almost yelling and I tried to rein it in but it wasn’t easy. “You beat him unconscious. For sitting next to me. That is not okay.”
I watched Cruz as I knew he was going to try to defend himself again, so I snapped. “Cruz, that’s not only not okay, that’s insane. Honestly, I don’t get it. I know you. After everything you told me tonight, I still got it. Got you. It was okay. Scary, yeah, but it actually made sense. All that messed-up stuff, it made sense in a weird way. It explained a lot. But what you did to Kai tonight? That was not something I can wrap my head around.”
I almost said, I don’t know the Cruz who did that. I wanted to say it, but it would only be to hurt him. A small part of me still wanted to inflict pain on Cruz for what he’d put me through three years ago. Yet I knew it would be a lie if I said I didn’t know the Cruz I’d seen beating Kai Tillson to a pulp on the dock earlier.
It had shocked me, yes. But even so, I knew exactly where his anger was coming from. Kai had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, and Cruz had unleashed on him.
As Cruz and I watched each other, I could see only a portion of Cruz’s rage had been unleashed. It was simmering there just beneath the surface.
“I’ll admit I went overboard. One or two blows in the right spot would have sent the message.”
I covered my mouth with my hands because his admission almost made me laugh. He was so matter of fact about it all.
He didn’t seem to notice, continuing, “You know that was meant for Branden and Sean, most of it. But I can’t do that to them. Not now. We have to stay focused on the game plan. I’ll get to them, but I have to be patient.”
He was explaining this to me, but I could see he was convincing himself now too.
There were images of Cruz demolishing Kai in my head, but there were also images of my bound legs, the two Malone boys surrounding me, touching me. I could hear the noises as Cruz pummeled Kai but the memory of the pill being shoved down my throat was much more painful. I wish I could erase all of it.
And Cruz had tried to do just that. It had helped, when he came to me in my bedroom a few hours after they’d rescued me. Cruz had pushed his own desire to retaliate aside and taken care of me instead. He’d also pushed his own desire for another kind of relief aside. He’d done so last night, and he’d been doing it for years.
The shift from anger and outrage to something else was swift. So sudden, I sucked in a breath and my hand went to my lower stomach. The need came on strong, the desire to do some comforting of my own. But I was still upset over what he’d done to Kai. It was wrong, the way he reacted, and Cruz had always been the kind of guy who did the right thing.
He took a small step closer to me but I threw up a hand. “You can’t do that, Cruz.”
“Do what?” He tilted his head to the side and I noticed his hands twitching, like he wanted to reach for me but was holding back.
“You might have spent years dealing with the Malones, where sending messages with fists is innocent compared to other methods, but that doesn’t make it okay. Not with the rest of the world. And definitely not with a guy like Kai.”
His hands clenched into fists and he took another step so we were only a foot apart. “A guy like Kai?”
“Yeah. A guy who’s never been in a fist fight in his life. He’s innocent in all this.”
I knew he wouldn’t want to hear that and the blaze in his eyes told me I’d pushed him. Maybe further than I really wanted to right now, in the middle of the night, when my world had just been turned upside down and inside out. My mind was still spinning from everything I’d learned. Did I really want to battle Cruz tonight?
“It’s guys like Kai, who play the good guy, the safe one, who are the least innocent.”
“Are you being serious right now?” Honestly, it almost sounded like he was joking with that statement.
Cruz’s hands found my waist then, and with that connection, I found it harder to remember my anger and to forget the pulsing need growing stronger. Desire was thick in the air, the energy between us electric and inevitable when we were alone in the same room.
“Yes, I’m serious,” Cruz answered, reminding me what we’d been discussing. “With the Malones, you know what they are about. We’re enemies, even when they show up at the Lake on my birthday pretending to play nice. It’s the ones who try to gain your trust but when push comes to shove, they show they aren’t worthy of it.”
I swallowed past the dryness in my throat. “Like Louise.”
“Yeah, like her.” Cruz’s voice conveyed sympathy, but I didn’t want it. I was still torn, wondering if my unwillingness to let her in as a true friend in the first place was part of the reason for her betrayal. But then again, maybe my gut told me not to because it knew she wasn’t worth it. When I let out a long sigh, Cruz’s grip on my waist tightened.
“What about you? You sound like you’re talking about someone who let you down.”
“Didn’t you ever wonder why I didn’t have any real friends when I met you and the guys? You were the first people I wanted to trust.”
“Why?”
“You were strong. I don’t know that I saw it like that at the time, but I see it now. People like Kai, Louise, they’re weak. You don’t always see it until it counts though, until it’s too late.”
I looked away, unable to meet his eyes. His words resonated, but I wouldn’t admit he was right. We already knew it about Louise, but when he put it that way, he wasn’t wrong about Kai either. I knew it when we were together too. If Kai was in the same shoes, given the same circumstances as Cruz, things would be very different. He wouldn’t have responded with action or responsibility. He probably would have run. Cruz was a natural leader, and calling him strong was an understatement.
“It still doesn’t justify what you did. If you want to be strong, don’t let your pent-up rage out on a dude just because he’s too weak to man up and tell your girlfriend why he’s really talking to her.” Okay, fine, I did just admit Cruz was right. Kai still wanted in my pants and was finally getting the balls to do something about it because he saw an opportunity to play up the good guy role.
Cruz’s mouth lifted into a smirk before he bent his head and told me, “I don’t want to talk about Kai or the Malones any more tonight.”
I gave him a small nod and he closed the gap. We needed to feel each other, nothing else. It wouldn’t make everything better, but it would help. He didn’t need any more words from me, and I didn’t need any from him. Not tonight. In this moment, it was only Cruz I could see, it was only his body I wanted to feel.
His hands held my face and he kissed me hard as he walked me backward to the bed. I placed my palms on the firm planes of his chest and could feel his heart pounding. It was racing, and mine picked up with the recognition of what that meant. Cruz Donovan went as crazy for me as I did for him. There was no other reason an elite athlete’s heart would beat this hard.
The back of my knees hit the bed and Cruz didn’t break the kis
s as he followed me down until I was lying on my back. Cruz didn’t hover over me. No, he let the hard ridges of his body mold to mine. There were no gaps of space between, only clothes. Even that couldn’t diminish the heat pulsing between my legs, the hot length of him rubbing so close to where I wanted more of him.
Cruz pulled his mouth away just enough to pant out my name. Then he said, “There’s no lock on that door.”
“Huh?”
“Your grandparents or cousins could come in here. There’s no lock.”
His words barely registered. I lifted my legs and wound them around his waist. He couldn’t stop. I might die if he stopped kissing me, stopped grinding into my aching center.
“Please,” I whimpered. I locked my ankles behind his lower back and pressed my heels in, encouraging movement.
He let out a curse and I took his momentary weakness to kiss him again. He let me, but only for a second before he lifted his head again.
“Hazel, we can’t. Not here.”
“Nooooo,” I whined.
Cruz didn’t find my desperation amusing, which was a relief. It meant he felt it too.
“It’s what? Four AM? My grandparents won’t even be awake for a couple hours.”
I could see Cruz was considering it, and then he blinked. “What about the bathroom? That has to have a lock.”
“Yes!” I didn’t want to separate from him but if it meant we could keep doing this I would. I unlocked my leg hold and we both scrambled up, practically sprinting to the attached bathroom.
It had a lock.
We kept the light off, on the small chance anyone did open the bedroom door. I reached for him but I hit air at first, and then the top of his head. He was on his knees. My own knees nearly buckled at this.
Cruz pulled down my pajamas and panties in one tug. He took an ankle and slid it to the side so I was open to him.
“Put your hands on the counter,” he instructed, and I was grateful for the order. I wasn’t sure I could stand up without support, and he hadn’t even touched me yet.
When he did my head fell back. I reached for the bathroom fan switch. Maybe it would drown out some noise. There was no way I was going to be able to be quiet.
I didn’t have room in my head to wonder just how much practice Cruz had been getting over the years. All I knew is that I was able to reap the benefits, and it was absolutely the best thing ever.
Even better, Cruz was totally into it too. Or at least the hums of pleasure I felt inside me from his mouth seemed to say so. He also had to readjust his crotch every few seconds, which was a good sign this was making him hot too. I flew over the edge quickly, but he kept me riding it for minutes afterward, until my legs shook and my entire body tingled.
As soon as I let go of the counter, I dropped to my own knees, unable to stand upright. I kissed him greedily, tasting myself on his lips. I wanted to feel more of him, see more of him, and I pulled his shirt up and over his head. Then I leaned back on my heels and took him in. I’d seen Cruz shirtless on the soccer field a few times, but this was different. Yes, it was dark in this bathroom, but my eyes had adjusted from the little moonlight coming through the basement window and underneath the door. He was only inches away and he was mine.
“Stand up,” I told him, my voice thick.
“You don’t have to, Hazel.”
“Shut up, Cruz.”
He smiled and stood up.
I tugged open the button on his jeans, and tried to be as smooth as he’d been when I pulled down his jeans and briefs. But I simply wasn’t. Not when Cruz’s dick nearly hit me in the eye as it bounced proudly in its freedom.
I let out a curse of my own. Swallowed. I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. I mean, Cruz Donovan naked, it was enough to make me lose my mind. I could stare at him all day. And I must have gazed at his package for a while because Cruz finally let out a chuckle.
“I’m starting to get worried, Haze. Something the matter?”
I flicked my eyes up to him and smirked. Then I took him in my mouth, figuring that was answer enough.
Chapter 7
Cruz
I’d said I’d sleep beside Hazel every night now, and I did for a couple hours, but we didn’t wake up together. Not in her grandparents’ house. It was a good thing I only needed three hours or so, otherwise I didn’t know how I’d pull it off.
Drew and Mimi Ross were already at the breakfast table when I came up from the basement around seven AM.
“Oh, morning Cruz,” Mimi greeted me. “The boys down there too?”
“Just Bodhi and Emmett. Hazel too.”
“Hazel’s downstairs? She usually takes the upstairs room,” Drew said. “Eggs, bacon, toast?” he asked.
“That’d be great.”
“Have a seat, sweetie,” Mimi said, gesturing to the breakfast table. She went to the fridge to pour a glass of orange juice and set it in front of me.
It was always like this when I came over here. Like they’d known ahead of time to prepare for me. Fed me, treated me like one of their grandkids.
Now, I figured eventually Drew would circle back to his question about Hazel’s sleeping location, but for now he was focused on eggs and bacon. And soccer. Drew Ross was quite possibly my biggest fan. He came to all of our games, unless there was a conflict with one of Hazel’s, then he’d have to pick.
The three of us chatted about soccer, something we could talk about for hours. Mimi sat at the table across from me while Drew moved around the kitchen preparing breakfast. They were young for grandparents of three high school seniors. I guess that’s why Mimi had them call her by her first name. Drew went by Pops to his grandkids. I don’t know why it went down that way, that was before I came into the picture. It took years of them scolding me for addressing them as Mr. and Mrs. Ross before I got comfortable calling them by their first names.
When Drew disappeared for a minute, the last thing I was expecting was for him to place a box of condoms on the breakfast table along with a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast.
“Now, I’m not going to give a lecture here. I buy these in bulk for the twins as well. I’m glad we didn’t do this for Jeremy because we wouldn’t have Hazel then, but I figure I’ll take a more assertive approach with this generation.” Hazel’s dad Jeremy had her at our age, a little younger than us even.
My eyes moved from the box, to the breakfast, to the box, and back and forth for a full minute before I finally managed to lift them to meet Drew’s. He had his arms crossed and his eyebrows raised, waiting for my response.
I heard a little laugh slip from Mimi before she said, “Just say thank you, Cruz. Don’t say anything else.”
Immediately, I took her advice. “Thank you. For these. And for breakfast. And for the, um, condoms.”
My face was red, I knew it. I could count on one hand the number of times I’d felt myself turn red from blushing, and every single one of them had to do with Hazel Ross.
I took a sip of juice in an attempt to hide it.
Drew nodded once. “Good. I’ll give a box to Hazel too.” He turned back to the kitchen, while I nearly choked on orange juice.
A minute later and we were talking about Mimi’s vegetable garden as if nothing strange had occurred. The box of condoms remained in the center of the breakfast table. I didn’t know what to do with them. If I reached to move them, it would draw attention, so I just let them sit.
I heard the twins coming up the stairs and then Bodhi slapped me on the back as he pointed to the box. “Welcome to the family, man.”
Mimi shushed him. “Oh, Cruz has always been part of the family. Pops only just decided it was time for him to be extra careful with protection.”
Emmett picked up the box. “Standard size?” He frowned and looked at Drew, who was walking over to the table with a cup of coffee. “You get us large. Pretty sure Cruz here’s going to need at least that, maybe even the XL.”
Pops sat down in his spot at the table and picked up the newspaper
. “I’ve got more sizes in the laundry room. Cupboard above the dryer. You can switch out. If you know anyone who’s a standard, just give them that box. It’s a hassle to exchange at the store.”
With that, he flicked open the newspaper, crossed his ankle over his knee, and ignored us.
Mimi patted my hand. “This is his way of saying we’re very happy that you and Hazel are together.”
And there it was. Any hope I had that this was coincidental timing went out the window. I knew I’d gotten Jeremy’s approval, but it was different. Jeremy didn’t always feel like Hazel’s father because we’d been working together for three years now. Yeah, most of the work went through my grandfather or Moody, but there was that connection. It leveled the playing field. Plus, Jeremy was just young. He’d raised her, but Drew and Mimi had as well.
This declaration of approval went deep, and it made me sit up straighter. It made me want to get it right this time.
By the time Hazel rolled out of bed, she barely had time for breakfast before we all had to head to the fields for practice. Now that tryouts were over, varsity teams often practiced at the same time for guys and girls, which was a good thing. We needed eyes on Hazel.
Practice was just what I needed to reset after the past two days. I shut off all thought about the meeting we’d have later this afternoon, about what had happened to Hazel at the hands of the Malones, and what we had planned for next. The only thing I couldn’t shut off entirely was that damn box of condoms. It wasn’t the condoms, not really, but the images of Hazel last night and the promise it was only the beginning. I could die happy after watching her on her knees, feeling her mouth around me, coming down her throat. All of it was the hottest thing I’d ever experienced. I’d had it before with other girls, but it always felt a little dirty because I knew they weren’t right. They weren’t mine and I definitely wasn’t theirs.
